Posted:
SWARON
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CHAPTER THREE: REUNION
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NEITHER ONE of them moved as they faced each other.
He hadn't said anything, and for a second she thought he didn't
recognize her. Suddenly she felt guilty about showing up this way,
without warning, and it made it harder. She had thought that she
would know what to say. But she didn't. Everything that came into
her head seemed inappropriate, somehow lacking.
As she stared at him, she noticed how little he'd changed since she'd
last seen him. He looked good, she thought. With his shirt tucked
loosely into old faded jeans, she could see the same broad shoulders
she remembered, tapering down to narrow hips and a flat stomach. He
was tanned, too, as if he'd worked outside all summer, and, though
his hair was a little thinner and lighter than she remembered, he
looked the same as he had when she'd known him last.She took a deep breath and smiled. "Hello, Swayam. It's good to see
you again."
He looked at her with amazement in his eyes. Then, after shaking his
head slightly, he slowly began to smile. "You too," he stammered. He
brought his hand to his chin, and she noticed he hadn't shaved. "It's
really you, isn't it? I can't believe it..
She heard the shock in his voice as he spoke, and surprising her it all
came together'being here, seeing him. She felt something twitch
inside, something deep and old, something that made her dizzy for
just a second. She caught herself fighting for control. She hadn't
expected this to happen, didn't want it to happen. She was engaged
now. She hadn't come here for this. Yet.
Yet the feeling went on despite herself, and for a brief moment she
felt fifteen again. Felt as she hadn't in years, as if all her dreams could
still come true. Felt as though she'd finally come home.
Without another word they came together, as if it were the most
natural thing in the world, and he put his arms around her, drawing
her close. They held each other tightly; both of them letting the
fourteen years of separation dissolve in the deepening twilight.
They stayed like that for a long time before she finally pulled back
to look at him. Up close, she could see the changes she hadn't noticed
at first. His face had lost the softness of youth. The faint lines around
his eyes had deepened. There was a new edge to him; he seemed less
innocent, more cautious, and yet the way he was holding her made her
realize how much she'd missed him.
Her eyes brimmed with tears as they finally released each other. She
laughed nervously while wiping the corners of her eyes.
"Are you okay?" he asked, a thousand other questions on his face.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cry.
"It's okay," he said, smiling. "I still can't believe it's you. How did
you find me?"She stepped back, trying to compose herself, wiping away the last of
her tears. "I saw the story on the house in the Raleigh paper a couple
of weeks ago, and I had to come and see you again."
Swayam smiled broadly. "I'm glad you did." He stepped back. "You
look fantastic. You're even prettier now than you were then."
She felt the blood in her face. Just like fourteen years ago.
"Thank you. You look great, too." And he did, no doubt about it.
"So what have you been up to? Why are you here?"
His questions brought her back to the present, making her realize
what could happen if she wasn't careful. Don't let this get out of
hand, she told herself; the longer it goes on, the harder it's going to
be. And she didn't want it to get any harder.
She turned away and took a deep breath, wondering how to say it,
and when she finally started, her voice was quiet. "Swayam, before you
get the wrong idea, I did want to see you again, but there's more to it
than just that." She paused for a second. "I came here for a reason.
There's something I have to tell you."
"What is it?"
She looked away and didn't answer for a moment, surprised that she
couldn't tell him just yet. In the silence, Swayam felt a sinking feeling in
his stomach. Whatever it was, it was bad.
"I don't know how to say it. I thought I did at first, but now I'm not
so sure..
The air was suddenly rattled by the sharp cry of a raccoon, and Clem
came out from under the porch, barking gruffly. Both of them turned
at the commotion, and Sharon was glad for the distraction.
"Is he yours?" she asked.Swayam nodded, feeling the tightness in his stomach. "Actually it's a
she. Clementine's her name. But yeah, she's all mine." They both
watched as Clem stretched, then wandered towards the sounds. Sharon's
eyes widened just a bit when she saw her limp away.
"What happened to her leg?" she asked, stalling for time.
"Hit by a car a few months back. Doc Harrison, the vet, called me to
see if I wanted her because her owner didn't any more. After I saw
what had happened, I guess I just couldn't let her be put down."
"You were always nice like that," she said, trying to relax. She
looked past him towards the house. "You did a wonderful job
restoring it. It looks perfect, just like I knew it would some day."
He turned his head in the same direction as hers while he wondered
about the small talk and what she was holding back.
"Thanks, that's nice of you. It was quite a project, though. I don't
know if I would do it again."
"Of course you would," she said. She knew exactly how he felt
about this place. But then she knew how he felt about everything' or
at least she had a long time ago.
And with that she realized they were strangers now. Fourteen years
apart was a long time. Too long.
"What is it, Sharon?" He turned to her, but she continued to stare at
the house.
"I'm being rather silly, aren't I?" she asked, trying to smile.
"What do you mean?"
"This whole thing. Showing up out of the blue, not knowing what I
want to say. You must think I'm crazy."
"You're not crazy," he said gently. He reached for her hand, and she
let him hold it as they stood next to one another. He went on:"Even though I don't know why, I can see this is hard for you. Why
don't we go for a walk?"
"Like we used to?"
"Why not? I think we both could use one."
She hesitated and looked to his front door. "Do you need to tell
anyone?"
He shook his head. "There's no one to tell. It's just me and Clem."
Even though she had asked, she had suspected there wouldn't be
anyone else, and inside she didn't know how to feel about that. But it
did make what she wanted to say a little harder. It would have been
easier if there was someone else.
They started towards the river and turned onto a path near the bank.
She let go of his hand and walked on with just enough distance
between them so that they couldn't accidentally touch.
He looked at her. She was still pretty, with thick hair and soft eyes,
and she moved so gracefully that it seemed as though she were
gliding. He'd seen beautiful women before, women who caught his
eye, but to his mind they usually lacked the traits he found most
desirable. Traits like intelligence, confidence, strength of spirit,
passion, traits that inspired others to greatness, traits he aspired to
himself.
Sharon had those traits, he knew, and as they walked now he sensed
them once again lingering beneath the surface. "A living poem" had
always been the words that came to mind when he tried to describe
her to others.
"How long have you been back here?" she asked as the path gave
way to a small grass hill.
"Since last December. I worked up north for a while, then spent the
last three years in Europe."She looked at him with questions in her eyes. "The war?"
He nodded and she went on.
"I thought you might be there. I'm glad you made it out okay."
"Me too," he said.
"Are you glad to be back home?"
"Yeah. My roots are here. This is where I'm supposed to be." He
paused. "But what about you?" He asked the question softly,
suspecting the worst.
It was a long moment before she answered. "I'm engaged."
He looked down when she said it, suddenly feeling just a bit weaker.
So that was it. That's what she needed to tell him.
"Congratulations," he finally said, wondering how convincing he
sounded. "When's the big day?"
"Three weeks. Lon wanted a November wedding."
"Lon?"
"Lon Hammond Junior. My fianc"
He nodded. The Hammonds were one of the most powerful and
influential families in the state. Cotton money. Unlike that of his own
father, the death of Lon Hammond Senior had made the front page of
the newspaper.
"I've heard of them. His father built quite a business. Did Lon take
over for him?"
She shook her head. "No, he's a lawyer. He has his own practice."
"With his name, he must be busy."
"He is. He works a lot."He thought he heard something in her tone, and the next question
came automatically. "Does he treat you well?"
She didn't answer right away, as if she were considering the
question for the first time. Then: "Yes. He's a good man, Swayam.
You'd like him."
Her voice was distant when she answered, or at least he thought it
was. Swayam wondered if it was just his mind playing tricks on him.
"How's your daddy doing?" she asked.
Swayam took a couple of steps before answering. "He passed on earlier
this year, right after I got back."
"I'm sorry," she said softly.
He nodded, and they walked on in silence.
They reached the top of the hill and stopped. The oak tree was in the
distance, with the sun glowing orange behind it. Sharon could feel his
eyes on her as she stared in that direction.
"A lot of memories there, Sharon."
She smiled. "I know. I saw it when I came in. Do you remember the
day we spent there?"
"Yes," he answered, volunteering no more.
"Do you ever think about it?"
"Sometimes," he said. "Usually when I'm working out this way.
It sits on my property now."
"You bought it?"
I just couldn't bear to see it turned into kitchen cabinets."
She laughed under her breath, feeling strangely pleased about that.
"Do you still read poetry?
He nodded. "Yeah. I never stopped. I guess it's in my blood."
"Do you know, you're the only poet I've ever met."
"I'm no poet. I read, but I can't write a verse. I've tried."
"You're still a poet, Swayam Taylor Calhoun." Her voice softened.
"I still think about it a lot. It was the first time anyone ever read
poetry to me. In fact, it's the only time."
Her comment made both of them drift back and remember as they
slowly circled back to the house, following a new path that passed
near the dock.
As the sun dropped a little lower and the sky turned orange, he
asked: "So, how long are you staying?"
"I don't know. Not long. Maybe until tomorrow or the next day."
"Is your flanc6 here on business?" She shook her head. "No, he's
still in Raleigh."
Swayam raised his eyebrows. "Does he know you're here?"
She shook her head again and answered slowly. "No. I told him I
was looking for antiques. He wouldn't understand my coming here."
Swayam was a little surprised. It was one thing to come and visit, but it
was an entirely different matter to hide the truth from her fianc.
The gravel crunched beneath their feet as they walked. He asked:
"Sharon, do you love him?"
She answered automatically. "Yes, I love him."
The words hurt. But again he thought he heard something in her
tone, as if she were saying it to convince herself. He stopped and gently took her shoulders in his hands, making her face him. The
fading sunlight reflected in her eyes as he spoke.
"If you're happy, Sharon, and you love him. I won't try to stop you
from going back to him. But if there's a part of you that isn't sure,
then don't do it. This isn't the kind of thing you go into halfway."
Her answer came almost too quickly. "I'm making the right
decision. Swayam."
He stared for a second, wondering if he believed her. Then he
nodded and they began to walk again. He said: I'm not making this
easy for you, am I.?"
She smiled a little. "It's okay. I really can't blame you."
"I'm sorry anyway."
"Don't be. There's no reason to be sorry. I'm the one who should be
apologizing. Maybe I should have written."
He shook his head. "I'm glad you came. It's good to see you again.
You were the best friend I ever had, Sharon. I'd still like to be friends,
even if you are engaged, and even if it is just for a couple of days.
How about we just kind of get to know each other again?"
She thought about it, and decided that since he knew about her
engagement, it would probably be all right. Or at least not wrong.
She smiled slightly and nodded. "I'd like that."
"Good. How about dinner? I know a place that serves the best crab
in town."
"Sounds great. Where?"
"My house. I've had the traps out all week, and I saw that I had
some good ones caged a couple of days ago. Do you mind?"
"No, that sounds fine."He smiled and pointed over his shoulder with his thumb.
"Great. They're at the dock. I'll just be a couple of minutes."
Sharon watched him walk away and noticed the tension she'd felt
when telling him about her engagement beginning to fade. Closing
her eyes, she ran her hands through her hair and let the breeze fan her
cheek. She took a deep breath and held it for a moment, feeling the
muscles in her shoulders relax as she exhaled. Finally, opening her
eyes, she stared at the beauty that surrounded her. She always loved
evenings like this, when the faint aroma of autumn leaves rode on soft
southern winds. She loved the trees and the sounds they made.
Listening to them helped her relax even more. After a moment, she turned towards the dock and looked at Swayam
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