Rules Of Attraction#2 Chapter29 Pg125 19/08 - Page 16

-Charles Bukowski

Have I told you that I love the quotes you pick. Phenomenal, especially the pun I find in this one.

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'I missed you, Arnav.'

'Then why did you let me go?'

Such simple, plain words. Yet they convey so much.

The pain that both of them feel... Khushi's being unable to tell Arnav the truth about her situation... Arnav's forcing himself to stay strong, demand answers, but can't stop her from crying.

Is. So. Palpable.

The feeling of having to hold something in, even though you wish you could share it. But you know that even if you could stand the pain of sharing your pain, your partner might not be able to bear the thought of you in pain.

It's not exactly definable, in words.

It just is.

And fact is that...

You managed to convey that so perfectly.

Words explaining what words can barely encompass.

Just Beautiful.

"'Have you forgotten what happ---' Khushi cut him almost immediately, the tears streaking her face once again, 'No.' Khushi felt his shaky hands cup her face, just as she felt her eyes close in apprehension at was about to follow.

'Do you want to say something Khushi?' She looked up at his face inches away from hers. Even under the dark sky, she didn't miss the tears slowly welling up in his eyes. 'I want to, but I don't know what to say.' She whispered into the air.

'I want answers Khushi. Do you understand me? I need you to explain.' His voice was on the verge of pleading as Khushi nodded obediently.

'Was it something I did'was it too much? Did you need time then? If it was'then I am sorr'' 'No, no, don't say that.' He was crying, now, she could see clearly, as he made a poor job of brushing away the pooling moistness from over his cheeks.

'It was nothing like that. You never did anything wrong,' she tried to make him understand. Arnav's fingers slid into her hair, and he tried again, 'Is there someone else?' 'NO, no, how can you say that?' And the seething anger that had been surging in Arnav's eyes for the past few minutes, were mirrored in Khushi's for a few seconds, before the floodgates opened.

'Then tell me Khushi, why can't you be with me? Why---you kissed me sometime back, didn't you? What was that Khushi? Has your answer changed?' He was almost shouting then, his eyes bloodshot, enraged by her composed face.

'It's still the same Arnav. I can't be with you.' Khushi looked away, focusing on a point behind him, trying to shake off uncertainty in her voice. Of course I want to be with you Arnav. Are you blind'how much more obvious can I make it? But I'm not sure, not yet. Not sure, I I can have the forever I want, with you. Not sure about the future. And as these thoughts flooded her mind, she wouldn't help but think, what if it was too late by the time she would actually be sure.

Arnav moved back immediately. Hearing those words from her mouth the second time, had a much larger impact that he could have imagined. He laughed. And it resonated in her ears with mockery, loathing.

'And then you claim to love me.' He stated, awaiting an outburst.

But it never came. Though a few soothing words followed. Tender, but breaking both their hearts.

'I know I don't have a valid explanation. But I do know that I love you. And I will love you forever.'

'You will?'

'Yes. That's the problem.'

Time stood still for a few seconds. Khushi could only hope that he would be satisfied. Hope that he would remember her. Remember what she had just told him and not ask questions. His fury replaced with a strange pain. He felt oddly happy at her confession, but he still knew something was amiss, incomplete. Arnav gave it one last shot, but he was cut through once again.

'Khushi, you know I love''

'Don't. You are engaged to someone.'

It came like a sharp knife, cutting through the damp, salty air. It was said in trembling, broken whispers, but it was accusing. And for the second time in his life, Arnav Singh Raizada had nothing to say in return. He looked into her eyes, hoping to find, hurt, anger, but all he saw was an disarming sincerity, and unadulterated love.

After a few seconds, he could see the retreating waves of violet, before it slowly disappeared completely."

Here, the parts highlighted in red...did bring tears to my eyes.

Khushi loves him, wants to hold onto Arnav, yet isn't sure of the forever. So, she wishes she could let him go. But, the possibility of a forever stops her from doing that. But, she fears that even if she does get the forever, he might not be there by her side.

I really don't think I can put into words the emotions you evoke with your writing.

And for a writer, that's the highest praise I can give.

Kudos to you, yet again, for leaving me feeling an inadequacy in my vocabulary to describe the awesomeness (Here I had to regress) of your writing.

Thank you. So much. For the update, and the PM.

~Arya~