FF: Be There For Me... Forever Chap5 Pg34(12/6) - Page 10

WOW that was amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Could you Pm me please this has really got me hooked! and if you do THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!

Link to previous part

Recap: Its been ten days since Khushi left Shantivan after the truth is revealed to everyone and Anjali finds Arnav unconscious in his room and calls Khushi to come to Shantivan to help Arnav, who has fallen into a Coma like sate, wake up.

A/n: A super looong update for all the wonderful people who commented and liked! This one took mea hell of a while to write so I do hope you guys really like it!

Expecting your suggestions as always!

Read on!

P.S.: Fair warning; there is some pretty emotional stuff in the chapter.

P.P.S.: For people who might get a doubt later on, no, Khushi hasn't forgiven Arnav at all. Its just her inability to see him this way that makes her act as she does. Just so you guys don't get confused!

P.P.S.: The text in blue are flashbacks; since the italics button is being too elusive today

Chapter 2: Eloping; Without The Groom

"You'll go nowhere near that house, Khushi," Buaji's stern voice sounded through the house, shocking Khushi. She had never thought there would be this many hurdles in going to Shantivan. She felt conflicted; on one hand were her family who had nothing more than her happiness in their minds. Granted, they hadn't helped her when she had suffered through the six months of hell that had been her married life but Khushi couldn't find it in herself to blame them. They didn't know, after all. Even Khushi hadn't expected them to react the way they had, standing completely behind her, supporting her when she had walked out of Shantivan. There hadn't been a word about what would come of her future; not even the amazingly sharp tongued Buaji had spoken anything about what the neighbours would say about her returning impromptu to her Maika. All they had been was understanding and kindness; Khushi counted the past week as one of the best in her life, it was almost as if all the mess that had happened in her life since Arnav Singh Raizada entered it hadn't occurred at all. As if she was still the same person she had been before that fashion show in Sheesh Mahal; the same Khushi Kumari Gupta '

" ' Sign Raizada," Arnav's voice, laced with equal amounts of anger and pride, broke through her confusion at the actions of the man before her. A possessive arm around her shoulder prevented her from moving away from him; her instinctual reaction to him those days. "I see you've met my wife finally, Mr. Mehta. Khushi, this is Mr. Mehta, one of our oldest and most trusted suppliers," Khushi folded her hands instinctually in a Namaste and the man nodded, taking a step back out of respect.

"Khushi, Di is looking for you," he had sent her towards Anjali, or to be more precise, away from the overbearingly flirty man Khushi had had to tolerate for the past five minutes.

He had later told her that he would never let her spoil another woman's life ever again; she hadn't understood then. If only she had '

Khushi sighed; no, there was no doubt in her mind, not even the sliver of sway towards the man who had clouded her life with misery so intense it had blocked any ray of hope that she might have held on to. He'd made her feel helpless, cornered, out of options. How many nights had she spent, completely awake, trying to figure him out, trying to understand his actions, trying to make head or tail of his incomprehensible words? Those nights most often ended with she crying herself to sleep, wishing she had become a star too, with her parents.

She was doing this for Di and Nani; there was no doubt in Khushi's mind about that, but it seemed like her family was just as adamant to not let her go.

"Alright, Buaji, as you wish," she replied meekly, walking to her room and shutting the door with a bang; something neither of the women had seen Khushi do in the twenty odd years they had known her. They looked at each other and then at the closed door.

XXX

"Do you remember, Bauji? When I was nine and you brought me to our house the first time, I used to be so afraid; I used to have nightmares whenever I slept and I would run into your room and you would console me till I fell asleep again. Do you remember Bauji? One day I asked you where my parents had gone and you told me that they had gone to live with Devi Maiyya? I asked you why they had left me behind; whether they hated me so much that they went away from me. I remember what you told me then, Bauji. I remember it so clearly and everytime I'm conflicted, your words are what show me what to do; do you remember, Bauji? You told me they had left me behind because I had something to do here. I didn't know what you meant then and I asked you what my work here was. You told me it was in my name; Khushi. That my purpose in life was to keep everyone around me happy and smiling. Whatever I've done, Bauji, I've kept your words in mind. All my actions have been swirling around the one wish to keep people I care about happy. Fortunately or unfortunately, the Raizadas have come to mean a lot to me, Bauji. I can't see them unhappy and if there is some way I could help, I want to. Di called me, literally begged me to come there, Bauji. How could I say no to someone I consider as dear to me as Jiji? But Amma and Buaji won't let me go; they told me that I should remain here; that I should let Ar '" Khushi took a deep breath; the mere thought of his name pricked her heart with a thousand needles, leave alone voicing it. "Arnavji suffer; don't they see? Its not him I'm worried about '" Khushi let her eyes trail away from her father's; she could never lie to his face. It was about him; about how he was suffering without her; but Anjali was who she told herself she was caring for. "I'm doing this for Di and Naniji, Bauji and ' you've always supported me, Bauji, I hope you'll understand why I need to go there '"

A lone tear slipped from Shashi's eyes as they shone with pride for the daughter he'd brought up with more care and affection than his own. He placed his hand slowly on her head; the most he could do. Khushi hugged him tight as tears escaped their confines and ran down her face.

"I'll come back in a flash, Bauji. I promise," Khushi whispered before she quickly walked out of the room. Shashi knew; she wouldn't be returning anytime soon.

Dear Amma and Buaji,

First of all, I'm really sorry for not being able to obey your words; I'll be sure to do atleast one hundred sit-ups when I return. As you say Buaji, your Sanka Devi's antics never bring anything other than happiness. So how could I watch someone cry, Buaji? I know you and Amma only want me to be happy, but Khushi can never be happy with someone else's suffering. Do you remember the story you used to tell me so long ago, Buaji? That Uncle gave up his business to his friend because Uncle wanted the happiness of his friend?

I may not be as good as him, but I do so wish to see everyone happy; that is all I'm trying to do.

I will be back before you can even say "Hai Re Nandkishore!"

Yours always,

Khushi.

Khushi read the letter one last time and placed it below the Devi Maiyya moorthi before she walked towards the open window. Thank heavens it was summer and the windows were open and she didn't have to open the door. That would certainly have woken up Amma who was a light sleeper. Sitting on the window sill with her legs hanging out of the house, Khushi looked back once at the familiar warm living room before she jumped into the rough garden of the Guptas which had been overgrown and useless for a long while.

"Why do you like gardens so much, Arnavji?" Khushi asked innocently as she idled by his haven, looking around and smiling at random flowers, observing him out of the corner of her eyes.

"Because they show no difference," his voice was the harsh whisper as usual, but Khushi detected that softness that laced it. He loved them; that much, she was sure of, "Whether you're a Millionaire or a Pauper, a rose smells the same. It makes no distinctions; unlike some people," his sharp eyes had focused on her meaningfully before he returned to his work of weeding the plants.

Khushi stood there, struck to the core with the accusations he had thrown at her.

Shaking her head at the memories that were resurfacing, Khushi walked across the grass towards the gap between the fence that she and Happyji had never gotten around to repairing. She could slide through it without scratches, given her slight build.

"Happyji?" she whispered and an auto's headlights shone, almost blinding her.

"Khushiji?" the ever faithful Happyji called from the driver's seat and Khushi quickly got in.

XXX

"You can stay in this room Khushi," Anjali assured her as Khushi was led into the guest room, one she hadn't visited during any of her visits or even during her stay in the house. "I'll get you all your things from your ' Chote's room. You left it all here when you '" Anjali's voice trailed off in embarrassment as the two of them recounted the circumstances under which Khushi's departure had happened.

"Its alright, Di. Thank you for trying to make me feel comfortable; I'm fine, I assure you. You should rest now; Naniji told me how you've been straining yourself; it isn't good for your health," Khushi chided, her concern over Anjali's health as normal as her worry for her own family was.

Anjali chuckled and, holding Khushi's cheek in her hand, kissed her forehead, "Now you're here, I'll take care of myself."

"Or I'll take care of you myself," Khushi replied with mock seriousness and the two laughed lightly, each feeling a little relieved for the first time in days. They had always derived comfort from the other in the direst of times and it was no different now.

"Alright, you rest now, Khushi," Anjali turned to leave when Khushi called her back, "Di?"

"Yes, Khushi?" Khushi could see, even with the semi darkness that the room was shrouded in, the delight that appeared on Anjali's face each time she called her Di. Little things, that's what made people happy. She'd always cherished them; and he, he had too. Only, he had made use of every single, minuscule thing to hurt her '

"Its really pretty, Di. I love it," Khushi exclaimed as she ran a hand over the simple ring that Anjali had bought her. She turned her hand this way and that, admiring he silvery glint that came off the ring that now resided in her ring finger. It was platinum and was carved all through in vine like patterns. The vines twirled around the middle to form two letters, AK.

"I knew you would, Khushi. You're such a delight to buy presents for; if I'd got the same thing for Chote na, he'd have just given it one look and kept it safely in the locker," Anjali had shaken her head in resignation at her brother before she had left.

Khushi started at the sound of his sarcastic chuckle, "If only Di knew; it isn't the ring but the platinum that attracts you '"

Anjali had seen Khushi's face go pale; she knew, from instinct born of her own experience, that she was probably remembering one of the moments when Arnav must have hurt her.

"The conditions '" Khushi started after a few minutes during which she had collected herself. It was just being in the familiar house which had been her gaol; the memories were beginning to crash into her.

"Of course, Khushi. You won't have to stay here for more than a minute once Chote wakes up and the Doctor says he is okay. Nobody will stop you from going back; Chote will never know you were here," Anjali recited and Khushi nodded. These, she hadn't asked to merely appear high handed. For her own sanity, she needed to put restrictions on herself because Khushi knew; left to herself, she'll never be able to escape the love and affection these people had for her. She'd overstay; in the same place where her worst demons resided. She couldn't; wouldn't, put herself through the same again. The same vicious circle of hurt, recovery, hope, hurt ' She was sick and tired of the routine.

"Good Night, Di," she replied softly and Anjali hugged her once before she left to her room; to face her own nightmares. Nightmares she had disguised as dreams for so long.

XXX

Hope wouldn't let her sleep in her room; hope than maybe, just maybe, her Chote would wake up out of the blue. What if he did and needed her? How could she not stay by him then?

Cool wind wafted from the open window of Arnav's room and made the strands of his ungelled hair flutter. Anjali watched, barely blinking, at the innocence that seemed to radiate off him. Knowledge warred with instinct; could he be the same monster she had seen him as in front of Khushi? Could her brother, who didn't know how to show his own emotions right, be as harsh as to crush some else's feelings? She couldn't fathom; one moment, she wanted him to suffer for Khushi, the next, she wanted her Chote to be fit and fine.

"Chote, maybe you can't hear me but you're the only one I can speak to now. If you were awake now, Chote, I know what you'll say; that the world is full of liars and cheaters and people who will do anything for money. Then you'll fall into one of your infamous silences; I never understood why you did that before Chote. Now I know, you were thinking about Khushi; well, that shouldn't be a surprise. She is all you ever thought about ever since you met her, right Chote? I can almost see you turning slightly pink, Chote. Like you used to before you two got married. Everytime someone mentioned Khushi, they'll have your undivided attention. You'll listen to every bit of information somebody had to say about her and then, there would be that smile; I knew you were saying 'Unbelievable' in your mind. Chote you were in love with her; but with love comes trust. Why couldn't you trust Khushi, Chote? If only you had trusted her more; if only I'd trusted Shyam less ' Never mind now. You'll wake up; Khushi is here now and I'm sure that's all you need to get well ' you can't pretend to be asleep for long, Chote. Your Di won't rest until her Chote is at peace, or even better, till you are so happy you even forget me. You'll be okay, Chote; won't you?" Anjali firmly pushed back the tears as she rested her head on the chair she had pulled up beside his bed.

XXX

'No Khushi; I absolutely forbid you from doing this. Nothing short of suicide; do you really want to go in there? Inside the den of that Shaitan? Do you really think you can take it? Are you so confident of your strength, Khushi?' her mind mocked her even as her heart beat erratically, as if in answer to all the snide yet truthful questions it was being subjected to. Did she trust herself to be able to walk in that room and not fall apart at the memories? Khushi didn't know.

"Why do I have to go there anyway? I have no business there. Even Di said it; its his room now. Khushi Kumari Gupta has no business to be there," she had begun to speak out loud, arguing with herself over the wisdom of what she wanted to do.

"But what if he woke up? If Arnavji wakes up then the Doctor will say he is fine; then I can go back home so quickly! Amma and Buaji don't even have to know where I went. I didn't even bring anything here anyway! Yes, that is best; that is why I feel like going into that room. Yes, of course," Finally satisfied that her monologue had convinced the walls and random bits of furniture around her, though failing to move her heart even an inch, Khushi stepped out of her room carefully, looking this way and that before she padded over to what had once been her place of residence, her mother's Payal and Arnav's mother's Kangans making melodies as she walked '

XXX

Anjali woke up from her disturbed slumber as the tinkling sound was heard; at first she thought it was the noise that had woken her but then she saw, Arnav's hands which had been held in her own were no more there ... they were moving, clutching onto his shirt, right where his heart was. The sound neared; it seemed rather hesitant, especially as it approached the door. Outside them, it stopped completely. Anjali knew who was outside; she'd expected Khushi to come. She had never been wrong when it had come to gauging her Bhabhi's emotions and the look on her face when she had spoken about not meeting Arnav when he was awake ' It was a look mingled with desperation and a silent plea. Her heart was yearning, pleading with Anjali to refuse to accept her conditions; to drag her right away and make her stand before Arnav.

Anjali had ignored it stoically; she was done with pushing the two towards each other. Maybe that was what had been wrong the first time; maybe she should have let them take their own time. Now, Anjali knew, she had done right. "She came back to you afterall, Chote. You can breathe easy now, no more nightmares. Didn't I always tell you, Chote? Sundari can never live without her Shaitan. I wish, I hope ' you're sensible enough to not let her go this time," Anjali whispered in his ear though she knew he probably couldn't hear. She looked at the entrance once before quickly hiding behind the curtains, watching the scene before her unfold.

XXX

Khushi had no idea what she expected to see there, no inkling as to what she was supposed to expect to happen that might make Arnav wake up.

But the sight that greeted her as she slowly stepped inside the room was one that was way too familiar for her; it wasn't that he was struggling that struck her first; it was that she had seen the scene before, too many times. So often that it felt like she was getting back into a routine; returning home from a vacation. Most of the nights she had spent awake had been filled with her observations of him while sleeping; because when awake, Arnav Singh Raizada never allowed anyone to come near him, not even to look at him for more than a few seconds.

Then there had been those times when she had had to sleep on the bed, beside him; pretending to be the happily married couple they in reality weren't. He'd had no trouble falling asleep even before his head hit his pillow.

It was she who had spent all night awake, starting at even his slightest move, making sure he was comfortable or simply just staring at him, wondering if some day in her life, she would be lucky enough to see his face this relaxed when he was awake; if he'd smile at her like he sometimes did in sleep, driving away all her fatigue by that one simple tilt of his lips '

Her each step towards the bed seemed to rattle him; he was holding to the neck of his T-shirt; not unlike the way she used to hold onto her suit whenever he came near.

Dhak Dhak ' Dhak Dhak '

At first Khushi thought she was hearing his heartbeat but unfathomably, impossibly, it was her own heart that was pounding loudly in her ears; the rush of blood drowning out almost every other sound except his breathing. Khushi placed a hand on her heart and looked at him; how could he have this effect on her now? So much hurt and such anguish and still '

"No, Khushi; don't falter. Its nothing, just ' just acidity," she told herself in a murmur, watching with increasing trepidation the line that was forming between his eyebrows. Her voice, Khushi realized; it was disturbing his slumber. No, it was waking him up.

Khushi's eyes widened as she realized the meaning of what Anjali had said; that only her presence could wake him up. That she held the key to his well being. Khushi had been disbelieving then, but, seeing proof right before her eyes, she couldn't deny. She affected him; she meant something to him.

The tears came then; undeniably, unstoppably as she hiccupped once. She couldn't see him through the tears in her eyes as they raced one another, trying to take in as much of the situation as they could.

He was lying on his back, slightly shifted to his right, where she usually slept. Khushi knew for a fact that he must be highly uncomfortable; Arnav was never comfortable sleeping straight. His breathing evened out and became ragged in alteration so that she was left wondering if he was really asleep or awake and pretending to be so. It wouldn't be the first time; Khushi thought back unhelpably to one of the few memories she had of him in her home, when they had gone to visit for a few days.

Khushi had to struggle to keep her eyes smoothly closed and her breathing straight; her heart, she had lost that battle long ago, there was no way to stop it from hurtling against her rib cage at break neck speed.

She felt a hand on her own where she had unconsciously held his T-shirt in his sleep. When she had woken up a few minutes earlier, she had been dismayed to find their closeness. What if he woke up and accused her of trying to seduce him?

She had hurried to move away, only realizing later that she had been holding to his shirt in sleep; but by then, it had been too late and he had woken up. Khushi had barely had time to close her eyes before he came to fully.

If Khushi had expected to be thrown aside carelessly the next second, she was sorely disappointed. He was awake alright, but he was yet to move away and Khushi could only guess that he was looking at her; she prayed that her face didn't heat up and fail her then.

A light caress on her cheek told her that she had succeeded; it made her start, nonetheless. This soft touch was something she was unfamiliar to; from him. It reminded her of one of those rare memories she had of them before marriage where he had been almost unbearably affectionate with her.

A silent tear escaped her eye before she could help it and once again he was there to wipe them away. She felt him run a hand across her forehead, moving aside the strands of hair that had probably become messed up in her sleep.

A gentle tug and her hand came off from its hold; he placed it gingerly on her other hand. Just when she thought he was going to stand up and walk away, she felt his arms snake around her waist, drawing her closer to him until she was completely on his side of the 'Arnav Rekha' as she had termed it.

His breathing played havoc on her, disrupting the peace that her heart had been trying to hard to gather, shattering it in one sweeping action. His breathing was still irregular; so she knew he was awake but even when she opened her eyes and made a conscious effort to atleast move a little away from him, he made no move to even open his eyes a wink, perfectly content with acting asleep.

She knew he had a habit of acting asleep, every night Khushi knew he watched her as she slept; her instinct never lied. The moment she'd open her eyes, hoping to catch him in his act, he'd close his eyes, dead asleep for all the world knew.

A rueful smile rose on her lips as Khushi observed him now; on an impulse, she leant over to kiss him gently on his forehead. As she'd thought, his arms slackened from shock and she quickly got off and literally ran out of the room, wanting to confront herself on her actions before he had a chance to.

Khushi wiped away the tears as she recounted one of the happiest memories she had of him post marriage. That had been her Arnavji ' the one she loved.

Though it wrenched her heart to admit, Khushi didn't shy away. Yes, unfeasible as it was, she was in love with him. She had told herself countless times, almost every second since she had left Shantivan, that she had to forget him, that even liking a man as difficult as Arnav Singh Raizada could only be injurious to her. But Khushi, for the life of her, couldn't fathom how to fall out of love.

Call it her childhood fantasy but to Khushi, a person only ever fell in love with one person and it stayed that way, for seven lives and then some. Of course, she had chosen the demon to fall for; how then could she expect a happily ever after? Her feet moved towards him unconsciously even as she argued against herself.

But he was her Prince too, when he wasn't too busy hiding behind the Shaitan mask that he donned especially for her. The Heer Ranjha Act, him giving up his bed for her, him standing up for her in front of all the gathered guests, him bringing her back to Shantivan by hook or crook, him supporting her when Shuklaji and she had had a little trouble with the business, him not uttering a word of complaint when faced with all her out of the world insipid antics '

They had all been for the wrong reasons, had stemmed from the wrong assumptions yet still, Khushi treasured them all. The most invaluable of them all, when he had known the truth. He hadn't tried to defend his actions; he hadn't even acted defensive. He'd just broken apart, all the pain he had delivered to her during the six months crash landing on him all at once as he sunk to his knees and beseeched her forgiveness, confessed to his crimes, his misdeeds, in loving her.

"I couldn't hate you, Khushi. It simply wasn't in me to ever loathe you the way I wanted to, in the manner I swore I would to exact revenge for my Di. Every attempt I did was half hearted and your every chirpy attitude did nothing to help me in believing you were the homewrecker I suspected you to be. I couldn't bear to see the innocence in your eyes; it went against my beliefs. So I chose to be blind; blind to the fact that love had hit me right in the face, that all the things that Di had told me that I had classified as rubbish were happening to me without my knowledge, until one day it became unbearable for me. I couldn't breathe without you, I couldn't live without you; every moment you were angry with me seemed to slice me through a thousand times. I freaked out; I pushed, I resisted harder than ever and Shyam ' he fuelled my insecurities. He knew me well enough to play on every loose brick in my defense. You understand me, Khushi. You comprehend me like nobody ever could, can't you see me now? When I need you the most, will you abandon me, Khushi?"

And she? What could she have done but give him a sharp answer and walk away? The wound had been too fresh, too deeply gashed and his words were the perfect concoction of venom to pour on them. It hadn't been the balm he'd hoped they would be; it had flaked away at her very nature, made her spit out words of such acidity as she'd never thought she was capable of.

"Is this what you thought of me, Arnavji? You thought I would ... you thought I was capable of destroying Di's life? Di's? Even after ... after all that has happened, this is your judgment of me? Is this the high opinion you have of your honorable wife?" Khushi's voice screeched, but she didn't care. It didn't matter; all that she cared about was the unbearable pain, the soul deep throbbing that was taking over her heart at the thought, the mere thought that Arnav, her Arnavji could think so of her. Didn't he know her at all? Or were all those emotions she had seen in his eyes, all the tenderness she had felt in his actions a farce? Which was the truth and which was the illusion?

Her head spun and she stumbled; Arnav rushed from the floor to hold her but she held a hand up. "No Mr. Raizada, I can take care of myself, thank you. Khushi Kumari Gupta was quite happy before she met you and even after meeting you, despite knowing you, she will be. My term here is over; I've fulfilled my part of the contract. Hope to never see your face again."

She'd walked out, not even sparing him a last glance. As proud of herself as Khushi was for being able to do that, she knew; it had been self destruction. She'd only managed to hurt herself more; the punishment hadn't been for him, it had been for her. If their separation had driven him to a Coma, it had pushed her to the brink of insanity. To such an extent that she spent most of her days looking at her mobile, awaiting his call. She never went anywhere without her mobile; just in case he called. She'd imploded each time the screen hadn't showed an incoming call from 'Laad Governor'; over and over again so many times until there were not even the tiniest pieces of her heart left.

Yet, she hid it all; under the strong and wide smile she put up and every one believed it; even her own brain. "But I'm not happy, Arnavji; Khushi Kumari Gupta doesn't know herself as well as she thought she did, afterall, does she?" she whispered with a choked chuckle that reverberated in the room. She was laughing; she was laughing? Wasn't she immersed in a never ending ocean of pain? Hadn't she just lost sight of her Pole Star?

It finally dawned on her; the curious lack of sting that had seemed to lodge itself permanently in her mind ever since she had set foot in the room. No, ever since she had accepted Di's invitation to come back. Her mind had been clear since then, only her emotions trying and failing to cloud her decisions. She had been her normal bubbly self as she had said her goodbyes to her Bauji; she had even written a dramatic letter to her Amma and Buaji. Odd; that was so like her old self, a phase of her life Khushi had imagined she had left behind with the wreckage of her heart.

"Funny, isn't it? You knew it will be this way; you tried to tell me. Even as I was leaving, you tried to warn me, Arnavji. You told me you didn't want to hurt me anymore; that I'd only maim myself being away from you. But I never listen to you, do I? I wrote it all off to your arrogance about having enslaved me and look where I am now '"

Another wry chuckle but this time, it didn't go unanswered. His fist clenched, holding onto the duvet that was covering him. He was gaining conscious; slowly, but surely. Khushi could sense it; his struggle was directly connected to the speed of her heartbeat afterall.

Dhak Dhak ' Dhak Dhak

His face contorted in a fierce expression of torment and a word, a single word, escaped his parched lips. It was just that simple; two syllables and all her guards came crumbling down. Her steadfast resolution to never give in was gone with the wind as her nimble feet raced the short distance that was left between her and the bed where he lay, as if she couldn't reach him quick enough. Her Payal tinkled again in mischief; in the satisfaction of having served its purpose.

"Khushi '" the words escaped his mouth a second time, more a cry this time than a calling. Khushi fell to her knees beside the bed, her hand smoothing the lines on his forehead as the tears fell, one by one, on his opened palm, as if awaiting the string of pearls that rained on it.

She noticed nothing farther than his face, nothing was more sharp to her vision that his eyelids; she'd never awaited for anything more than she longed to see the chocolate brown orbs hiding behind them. "Wake up, Arnavji; I'm here. The Khushi who left you stranded, the one who left you burning in hell. Don't you want to even look at me, Arnavji? Have I become so despicable to you that you won't even glare at me? Arnavji?" Her words trailed off as fear clutched at her; was she losing him? Forever? Would he never look at her? Would his slumber never end?

Khushi's words became frenzied as the horror of her plight struck her, "Arnavji, wake up! You're scaring me; I'm ' I'm frightened. I can't stand all this alone, Arnavji. The dark, its closing in on me. You know, only you know, Arnavji; how I panic when its dark. Won't you be there beside me, Arnavji? Its darkening, Arnavji; the light, I can't see it any more. I'm terrified, Arnavji; I'm ' come back, Arnavji. I need you; please, Arnavji? I'll even say sorry, I'll even do sit-ups if you want? Just ' just come back, Arnavji; just ' just '" her string of meaningless rambling broke as her emotions took over. She bent her head, her face buried in his open palm as she cried, desolation cocooning her bit by bit, robbing her of what little sunshine his croaked voice had lent her.

"What the '" there had been no melody more sweet to her, no sound so cherishable as those two words. Khushi's head snapped up, only to meet with the pair of eyes she realized, she had always, always been in love with. When they had shed hatred on her, when they had fumed at her, when they had indulged her kiddish actions, when they had made her hope, when they had made her dream all the fairytales all over again.

"Khushi?" Arnav's mind seemed to be capable of only a few words at a time and he uttered them with the same tone of disbelief; the same tune of confusion mixed with emerging realization.

His hand came to frame her face as he held her gaze, her own clutching at them tightly, afraid that she'd wake up from her dream if she let go. The Kangans in her hand clinked in harmony as she did, making their own music to the silent union of hearts that none but one was witness to.

'Devi Maiyya, why did you have to make their love so difficult? Why do you give them so much pain when they are together and when they are apart? Why can't you keep them happy?' her heart cried as Anjali looked on, unknowing to the two people who hardly even sensed anything else, lost as they were in each other's presence ... It was ethereal; it made her heart clench and churn and pray that things would be as she fervently wished them to be '

Anjali silently walked away; she didn't have the right to be here any more. She'd overstayed as it was, wanting to see to her Chote's well being. He was fine; as she'd always believed he would when Khushi was around. Her Chote was alright; she needed to rest now. Rest and recuperate to deal with the minor problem left behind for tomorrow; that of her own future.

"Khushi are you really here? Or am I dreaming one of those sick, twisted dreams when you disappear when I wake up?" his words make her smile; he had no idea what he was saying; he was speaking as he was thinking and he was putting his foot in his mouth. She loved him; her Arnav.

"Please, Khushi; don't go. You don't know how it kills me when you run away. If you're going to go, just do so now. Before ' before I start believing this illusion is true too. Its so much worse when I've started trusting the hallucination '" he was speaking more to himself now, each of his words piercing her to the core of her soul. He wanted her to leave; because he knew she wouldn't stay forever. Because everytime she left, he died. Khushi ran away from the room; unable to take it any longer. His love was too stifling; too heavy for her lithe heart to handle.

Snap '

In her desperate hurry to escape the sinfully welcoming arms of love, Khushi completely failed to notice the Payal break free of her feet and fall to the floor. It lay there, flickering; a testimony of the fact that no matter how much she tried, Khushi could never leave his life entirely.

Arnav sighed and settled back in bed, all his renewed hope crumbling into a cloud of dust.

A vision of his mind's making; as usual Arnav thought as he fell asleep again, not even knowing that he had been unconscious for the past week.

Chapter3

A/n: Something's missing in the chapter right? Yeah, I know; I should have written more of Arnav's POV here. His waking up and all that but that's for the forthcoming chapters. His reflections and confusions are coming right up!

Precap:

Arnav looked through the neatly stacked bunch of sarees once again; missing. Where had it gone? There was no-one in the house who could have gone through his closet; his and Khushi's. Who could have removed the saree from there? It was hers; and hers alone. She had never let anyone else so much as touch the saree but now it was missing.

Arnav turned towards the door to call his Di when his feet came into contact with something. Something cool and glittery and ' silver.

As you can see, ASR's back!

Do comment; they're the only way I know people actually like the bunch of words I type out!

~Nina

im first yay!!!!!!! soo gud..pls update soon...thnks 4 the long update!!!!

yayyy...

what an emotional chapter!

yay arnav's awake. glad khushi left without saying anything.

Yay! had been waiting for this one.

He's back!!!! I wish this Anjali was portrayed on the show, we need to see her be an older sibling rather than the other way around! GREAT UPDATE!!!!

very nice update...felt sorry for both of them.