Chapter-3
Dried Emotions
Rajat was recovering very slowly,doctor's observations were that he has become mently reluctant and that is making his body very weak plus the excess of alchohol in his blood made it even more difficult.
Mugdha knew what it was as she had been expert in reading his face,his eyes and his mind since their childhood. The thought of his silent sufferings were inevitable yet they were not affecting her like the way they used to.She had gone through so much of distress that nothing was affecting her,nor even his silence!
She hated it yet she could'nt refine her mind totally from his thoughts...as her friends say,she could'nt move on completely...sometimes she loves to be lost in his memory..those memories which she had managed to brush aside to the farthest corners of her heart after much difficulty. Today, those memories seemed to come alive in front of her, haunting her soul, torturing her to the core.closed her eyes even tighter, in a frail hope that the rail of memories will stop. It was just a frail hope.It didn't stop.She opened her eyes in loose hopes and glanced him with a hope of soothing her heart.
He was sleeping and she could'nt sleep from past few days and for that she had have an strong excuse that she can't sleep in hospital yet her own mind had refused her excuse,a belief that she can move on was proved to be wrong...!
Looking at him she went closer to his bed and watched his face lovingly...sitting near to him she intewinged her fingers in his hairs and ruffled them tenderly...smile crept on his face...aslept he hold her wrist and whispered,
"Mugdha..."
A tremor passed through her and she removed her hand quickly.
He who was aslept,had waken up...she stood up instantally and turned on the opposite side.
It was awkward,she could'nt face him anymore so headed towards door,but before she could take another step he hold her hand by wrist,she felt a shiver ran down through her body...
she closed her eyes to capture that moment...
"Mugdha..."
Again she felt awkward as she was used to of hearing 'billi' or 'jungli billi' from his mouth yet she knew how fate had turned their relationship.
"I don't know how it is...Errm..."he was feeling difficulty to express.
She turned back and composing herself,said "Yes Rajat...do u need anything...water,medicine..."
"No..No!"he cut in between...looking at her blankly.
"So?" she asked.
He dint have collected right words to say,yet he summerized..."I need you...!"
A storm passed left her startled,"WHAT!!!" she exclaimed puzzled.
Now he started collecting words,heaved up slowly as his body was aching since morning...
"I...am sorry " he gulped hard before saying so.
"For what?"asked she looking directly into his eyes.
"For leaving you..."he confessed.
"Leaving me...where?"she asked.
He got a little irritated..why the hell is she testing him!!!She knows everything then why asking silly questions...!!! but next moment he realized that 'testing love' and 'asking silly questions' is not only his copyright!
"In between..."he could'nt say more.
"I am not getting you Rajat...may be you need some rest...I am going and you please take a nap..."said she and about to leave when he called her to stop.
"Mugdha!"
She stopped but did'nt turn not even said a word.He continued...
"I know what I did was wrong..still I know you will forgive me...I need you..."he said almost pleading.
"For what?"she cut it short
He was shocked with her question,never thought such a straight question.He gulped hard and wiped his sweat...then he preferred to tell the truth...
"For making Mauli jealous!"he said
She did not react for a moment,neither anger nor a bucket full of tears...she did not even shock on his statement that he need her to make mauli jealous...that made him a little confused.
After a moment of thinking she said,"okay...I'll do...!"
He was shocked,never thought that she would agree so easily or without any high point drama...or without cursing him for spoiling her life and then again started playing with her emotions...
"Thanx.."all that he could say.
"No need of it.I am just paying whatever you did for me from our childhood till that day when we broke up."she said coldly.
He was baffled and a bit hurt,"But I did that for our f'ship...I helped you...as a friend!You do not need to pay for that"
"I need it..I really need it...to move on..."she murmured to herself.
"What?"asked he
"Nothing...!You don't need to know the reason why have I agreed..."said she.
"if you think that you need to pay for my genuine helps then you already have done it...you saved my life..."
"That I would have done for anyone who was lying full of blood in jungle and craving to breath...there's nothing 'You' in that...!I am generous enough to help anyone who needs it."
He was shocked and she left the room.
Book Talk
Ye Hai Mohabbatein
233