*A FairyTale Ending* - SaJan Story - Page 43

The party had finally began, the reporters were busy taking interviews of my mother. I was looking around for Samrat, I had to talk to him, but a reporter approached me instead. "Could we please take a small interview maam?" a tall, fair man asked. "Yes, sure." I said. "So, Maam, please tell us how you feel about your mother's success? Does it over-shadow yours?" "No, not at all. I am so proud of her. My father always encouraged her to get into this line, but she was always hesistant inspite of his continuous encouragements. After his death, she did it. And she's here today. And I am proud of her." I said smiling. "Maam, why haven't you taken up after your mother?" "I have always, from 6^th standard wanted to be an interior designer and here I am today. So I am happy with what I am doing, and designing clothes is just not what I enjoy.." "Its so nice to see how both of you are into designing. It shows creativity runs in your family.. If you don't mind me asking, what did Mr. Singhania do?" "He was an architect." I laughed. That was also designing. I think they're right about the creative family thing. "Anything you would like to share about your mothers success? Something we don't know? Something about how she copes up with her household and office?" "Mom, has always been great at managing things. She is independant and she knows how to go about things, so she has never had any problem balancing everything. I wish I grow into her shoes later on in life." I said lying. Mom was very bad at management and she had alot of problems initially coping up., but this wasn't the time to display mom's flaws.. The reporters left and I finally spotted Samrat with a reporter himself. I walked towards him, thinking of what I was going to say, I couldn't understand where to start from. What would I say? How would I start the conversation? What was I going to do? I didn't know, but my feet wouldn't stop, they just wanted to go ahead. As I came within a feet from him, he noticed me. I smiled slightly, he looked taken aback, but still introduced me to the reporter interviewing him. "This is Gunjan, Mrs. Singhania's daughter.." he said. "Hello Maam" she said. "So Mr.Shergill, how do you know Mrs. Singhania? Are you related to her?" she questioned. "Gunjan was a very good friend un college, I knew her mother really well, she has inspired me throughout.." he said subtly. He actually turned it round so easily. He was the person who encouraged mom to do this, he was her inspiration! Why couldn't I just hear him out before? It doesn't matter, I was the one who said it doesn't matter, so I could just hear him and it would end just there...

"Can we talk?" I asked. His eyes grew big and he was taken aback. I laughed a little. "I'm sorry, its just that, an hour ago you were not ready to hear what I had to say and now you just asked if I could talk?" "Yes, I did." I stated. "Okay then, lets go!" he said. "I can't leave the party..." I said. "We can't talk here, there is no privacy!?" he said. "Okay, we'll talk after the party" I shrugged. "No wait, lets dance" he offered. "Did I mentione I wanted to talk, and not dance?" I asked sarcastically. He was mad. How were we going to talk if we were dancing? I wanted to reason with him but he wouldn't budge. Aah! Okay, I would dance, hear him out and get it done.. Anyway, I was usually the one begging him to dance while he'd rather be taking shots! "Alright" I said accepting his hand. I sighed and we headed towards the dance floor. Once again Dia's and Benji's eyes widened as Samrat put his arm around me and we began to move. It made me laugh a little. Last time their expressions were similar, Samrat was kissing me.. and now..?

"Why are you laughing?" he asked. "Oh, it.. its.. nothing.. so start.." I said looking at him. "What?" he asked. "What you've wanted to tell me since morning!" I exclaimed. "Oh right right." He said looking at me again. His eyes had caught mine and his lips had curled to show a smile, a charming smile that just made me want to kiss them.. "Stop smiling!" I scolded. "Right, yeah, so I.. wanted to say.." he stuttered, "Umm.. that... we.. a.." "Did you even want to say anything or were you just irritating me? Because I have NEVER seen you speak like that!" I said widening my eyes now. "Okay..." he took a long breathe, "I left you. I did. I have no excuse. I was hurt that you would rather not have me in my life so I left. I thought you wanted to be with Louis and I was.. umm.. holding you back, so I left. I read how much I had hurt you in the past and how happy you were with Louis.. Thats why I left. These two years, were bad. They were atrocious. The only thing that kept me going was you. I didn't know how you were doing. I lost touch with everyone, everyone I ever considered my family. I had isolated myself and everytime I was alone, I shut my eyes and I imagined you sitting right next to me, and I was not lonely any longer.." he sighed again. "I know it sounds utopian and cheesy, but Thats what I did. Thats all I did. And after seeing you again, I wanted to know how you were doing, Thats it. I didn't want to interfere in your life again, I didn't want you to be miserable again, I have always, truly wanted to see you happy, Thats all I ever wanted, and if you are happy without me in your life, I would like to keep it that way. You'll be gone tomorrow, and That'll be all..." he said. I was just staring at him. I was wondering what I should say. I was hoping he would go on but when he was looking at me questioningly, I had to ask, "Thats what you've been wanting to talk to me about?" "I wanted to catch up. I wanted to know how you've been doing, how my best friend has been living... How she has a small family, a husband, a son.. but then.. you told me you were still a Singhania.." he looked worried now. "What did that mean?" he asked not wanting to get to conclusions. I just had to say it. I had to say my side.

I rested my head on his shoulder and shut my eyes. He was my best friend and he would

always be. He did all this for me. Ofcourse he is an idiot for being so impulsive and not thinking about how I would live without him but he did it for me.. "When you left, I was... I was... angry.. I was furious at everyone... mostly myself for ever letting you in, for letting you be so close to me. I was broken Samrat, you broke me. You left and I was lonely. Life was just not the same anymore. I needed you to stay alive and you were gone.. I didn't get married, Dhruv isn't my son.. I.. I broke up with Louis. I realised I didn't love him. I just kept going because I was angry and I wanted to scream and yell at you when you came back and probably kill you.." I laughed and cried at the same time. "But you didn't... You didn't come back. I was disappointed in you.. Two years and not even a word from you.. I.. I decided I had to forget.. I decided I had to move on.. so I got over it, I suppressed my anger and emotions and here I am.. Not angry at all..that's my part of the story.." I whispered. Tears slowly trickled down as Samrat hugged me. He dug his face in my shoulder and we were still slowly moving to the slow song. I could hear constant clicking of pictures. "Oh great, they found a new story now.." I whispered in Samrat's ear. "And you're crying again! I'm here Gunjan, you don't need to cry, and once we get back to your room you can scream at me as much as you want!" he chuckled. "I will" I sobbed. Click. Click. Snap Snap. Went the cameras. Sigh. When would the paparazzi learn? But we didn't care. I had just spoken my heart out to Samrat, atleast most of the things. And we had made it through. We understood each other and that was the main thing, right? I slowly stood up straight. My eyes were dried but I was pretty sure my Kajal was all over my face. Samrat handed me his handkerchief and I walked out of the hall and then broke into a run till I reached my room.

Phew. I had finally cleaned my face and changed into my night dress. The party was still on and I was in no mood to go down. Those two years had started to come back, now that I had spoken to Samrat my anger was really coming out, in the form of tears actually. I couldn't go to the party. I sat cross-legged on the bed and munched on some wafers to distract myself. I had 4 missed calls from my office which I had no intention of answering. I was officially depressed again. The door bell rang and I knew it would be Samrat... I didn't feel like getting up. "Its open.." I yelled. He came inside. He looked at me, observed for a minute and then laughed a little. "Don't judge!" I scolded. "I wasn't" he said taking off him shoes. He came and sat in front of my on the bed, cross-legged and had a wafer. We looked at each other for a while, just looked and then we hugged each other. "I missed you.." I mumbled. "Me too.." We held on till our knees had started to ache. "You are never leaving me again!" I screamed. "Never.." he whispered. "You will tell me everything you feel, everything! Whether its something bad about me, or whether you think I'm wrong but you will never reach any conclusion about us yourself..!" I scolded. "Never.." "You will always be my best friend!" I said.. "Always.."

After I calmed down Samrat said, "You are not leaving tomorrow!" He was clearly not asking, he was just telling me. "I am.. I have to.. I have work!" I said. "You are not leaving!" he said not willing to budge at all. "Samrat, I have work in Dubai and you have work here.." "No, I am not listening, I am going to get your ticket cancelled." He said picking up his cellphone. "No.. Samrat.. are you crazy? I'll come over some other time!" "Gunjan, you are not leaving tomorrow. That's final! I am going to make it up to you, we have alot to talk about, we have to talk about every hour in those two years!" he said as he called the airport management and got my ticket cancelled. "What about mom? You haven't even spoken to her yet!" I said. "What do you think I was doing for so long?" "Oh. So you spoke to her already.." I didn't know what to say. I wanted to stay but I have feelings for him and I am scared.. I am scared that those feelings will surface and I am scared that he won't feel the same way, our whole life will fall apart again.. He loved me 2 and a half years ago but now? After reading my diary... I don't know how he feels! I have no idea whats going on in his mind so I can't—"Hello? Gunjan?! So are you staying or what?" he asked. "Yeah, I'll.. I'll stay.. But for a week! Thats it." "Yes! Just a week" he said with a wide smile.

Dear Diary,

One night changed it all. My entire outlook towards my life's condition changed. He makes the difference, from nothing much, to life's great! He makes the difference. My best friend. And now, I am at his house. Oh, its hardly a house, its like a palace. Its huge, its eminent, its so Samrat! Every corner of it, I am sure he put his mind in getting the interior done. Its just brilliant. The person who did this house, is a far better interior than I am, its just gorgeous, so perfect, so blissful.

The guest room is right next to Samrat's room, and I've only been here a few hours but I'm loving the house. Samrat's gone to frshen up a bit before dinner and I am just so anxious for my stay here. I am nervous, the weird feeling when you think something's going to happen but what can happen? I am not telling him about my feelings, he doesn't feel the same, atleast I don't think so anymore. Its just a normal visit, I have been to US before, I have stayed at his place with his parents before then why is this time so different for me? Why am I nervous? Why the hell is everything so hieghtened.

Phew. I need to calm down, I really do. This one week has to be like old times. It has to. We have to make things normal and not so awkward and weird like I am feeling right now. NORMAL. NORMAL. I don't even know what that means anymore!

"Dinner's ready!" Suhani said barging in. I shut the book and kept it in the drawer. "Let's go!" I said getting up. On the way downstairs Suhani stopped by a room and tried opening it. "Its Locked" she grumbled. It was weird. "Someone will have a key.. is this the store room?" I asked. "No this is Bhai's room." She said. "Isn't his room the one on the left.." I asked. "No.. ofcourse it is. This is his 'private' room. He doesn't allow anyone inside. Forget getting in, I haven't even seen it. This room's been here for a year now, and no one in this friggin house knows whats inside!" she exclaimed. "What?" I asked, still confused. Samrat has this "private" room which he doesn't let anyone see. What does he keep in there? Would he show me? Maybe. But I couldn't just ask.. it would be awkward right? "Hello?" Suhani waved her hand in front of my eyes. "Yeah, I.. I was just wondering what it could be in there.." I said. "He hasn't told you? I thought atleast you would know something!" she said exasperated. "No, sorry.." "I really want to know what he has in there.." "And you are never going to know little sister!" Samrat said grinning. "How could you do this? What is so private that you can't tell your sister?" she argued. "There are somethings, even you don't tell me about your boyfriends, I have not met any of the 7 you've had!" he said. "How do you know?" she glared angrily. "Well, I have my sources.." he said with another grin. "Let's go Gunjan?" he asked. I just smiled and walked down with him. I culd hear suhani groan and follow us.

"Thank you so much for having me over aunty!" I said trying to be nice. "Oh please Gunjan, You're like our daughter, and especially after Samrat told us how well you took care of him after his accident, its a pleasure to have you over!" Aunty said. I smiled slowly. "Did I mention the burnt food she made me? Delicious!" he said mocking me. "Oh please!" I rolled my eyes. "Atleast she tries!" Uncle said glaring at suhani who just rolled her eyes. Mr. & Mrs. Shergill were great, they both still had love between them. They held each others hands during dinner, they laughed at each other's jokes, they were happy. It been a really long time since I have seen such a happy couple. Mr.Shergill has retired now and spends all his time with Aunty but still he has so much to say. They are perfect, after so many years their love hasn't died out. I do envy Samrat, his life his perfect...

Once we were back to the guest room Samrat and I spoke about the thing we were trying to avoid. The reason I wrote all that in the diary, and why he left, and what he was thinking and basically everything related to the past. There were many things we didn't want to recollect but we needed to. "I was angry. I was really angry at you, Gunjan. We had been friends for over 2 years and you hadn't told me that you didn't want me in your life. I had taken every word of what I read seriously. I thought I knew you, I thought I knew everything about you but I didn't. There was so much you kept from me.. Why? Did I ever judge you when you said something about your life or me?" he asked. "No.." I said holiding his hand. "Never, but I was so used to writing in the diary that I forgot that I could just speak to you, after writing it down, it was all out of my mind and I was happy again, with you. So I decided to avoid the things, I was running away from them. I was just angry at you for everything. I didn't know what I was righting, I tend to do that sometimes, write stuff randomly, which I don't mean, and you know how much you mean to me, I cannot even think of life without you!" I said looking into his eyes. "Okay, fine, now I feel like an idiot for running away!" he said and I laughed. "You were!" I admitted. "idiot" I muttered. "So will you tell me whats in the room?" I asked. "No." he said bluntly. "Why not? I'm your best friend. You have to tell me!" I claimed. "You don't like me touching your diary and you are not going anywhere close to the room!" he ordered. "Okay fine! Just tell me what's in there!" I pleaded. "If you let me read your new diary!" he said negotiating. "Whaat? No way!" I said. I had written about how I felt about Samrat, he can so not read that. That room of his will probably have his childhood memories and all which he doesn't want to share, some embarassing pictures of him and all that! "then you can't know anything about that room!" he stated.

We lay in bed next to each other talking about our past, present and future. Wehad so much to talk about. "So when I came to USA, I had no idea what I was going to do. I stayed in the house for 5 whole days and finally dad started dragging me to office. Initially I was so bored and I could barely concentrate but slowly I started doing the work, I could control my mind and it wasn't so difficult after that. The first month was tough, I haven't stayed away from you for more than 10 days.. you are my best friend, and I always came to you to talk, or to chill, or to just sit quietly and say nothing. But that one month was pathetic. And once I started distracting myself with work I was getting a hang of it. I was getting good at it and here I am. But on the way I distanced myself from any social interaction with my family. I started staying away from suhani because she reminded me of you, anything related to family reminded me of you and so I started staying away. Thats my part of the story.." he said. I rested my head on his shoulder and he put his head on mine. "Mine was not so easy. I was mad at you initially, then I was mad at myself for writing all that, then I was mad at Dia and Benji for pitying me, then I was confused about what i wanted to do in life and then finally I got over it once I realised that you weren't coming back. I moved on. I thought you didn't need me anymore and I started to pretend that I didn't need you either. That I didn't care what you did or where you were or even how you were..." I sighed. "You know what?" he said turning towards me. "We don't need to talk about all this.. I'm just happy that I get you back now. I have my bes friend back!" he said smiling at me. His eyes met mine and it held my gaze for a long long time. We were together, maybe not as a couple but as best friends and that was enough. It was enough for the time being.

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