Hi guys! I know, I haven't updated in the longest time! So sorry my dear jaanus! Really sorry! I just got a little bit intrigued with recording my voice and all! 😆 Yeah... so I guess I kinda neglected this FF of mine! But I'm back with an update now! Hope you like it! Do leave comments!
Lots of love,
Sanju
- Chapter 6 -
I watched the expressions on her face, as they flashed from shock to confusion to hurt and at last to anger. Her brown irises had grown wide with a coldness which was unknown to me. "What is the bloody meaning of this...?" Anjali's voice was deathly quiet and yet managed to harbour a cutting sharpness to it.
My hand tightened around Arnav's automatically.
The silence rippled through the depths of the Raizada mansion, enveloping it in its aura. Anjali's eyes scanned my form, horrified. What we had done was nothing less than a sin itself. I fixed a steady gaze on the marble tiles below me. My heart thundered in my chest. I couldn't breathe. I felt like a criminal, awaiting punishment for an unpardonable crime. In those few moments of silence that lapsed, I wished, on many occasions, that I possessed the power to rewind time, and forget the mishaps of the night. Unfortunately, my aspirations were left as just that ' unfulfilled aspirations.
I was jerked violently out of my thoughts, when I felt a hard grip on my shoulders. It was Anjali. Her nails dug into my skin, reddening them without delay. But I deserved it. I should have been stronger. I should have been more firm. For all I knew, my firmness could have knocked some sense into the person who was now my husband.
However, the past was the past. Having been a child who had lost both parents at a young age, I knew better than to dwell over circumstances that could not have been changed.
"Answer me Khushi!" cried Anjali. Her eyes were lined with wet tears which would soon mark her pale cheeks with streaks of red. I felt helpless. How could I answer her when I, myself, did not know the answer to any of her questions? I turned towards Arnav, almost pleadingly. His face was hard. He stood motionless, wearing a mask of nonchalance on the hard contours of his face. My heart was sinking. Was this it? Was this his way of punishing me' for whatever unfathomable crime I had committed?! Was he simply going to leave me to face the wrath of his family?!
A sudden rage came over me. I was innocent. No matter what he might say, I had done nothing wrong. I didn't deserve this punishment. I turned to Anjali, getting a hold of her wrists and prying her hands off me. "Please Anjali ji. Don't ask me anything. Your brother has the answers to all your questions. I don't. So if there is anyone that you should be asking, it is Arnav ji."
Anjali's gaze moved from my face, to Arnav's. She looked at him, skeptically. She didn't want to believe it. She didn't want to think about the fact that her own brother may have very well ruined a girl's life. Arnav's lips were parted slightly and his eyes were wide with shock. I straightened as I walked past him. I trudged confidently up the marble steps of the staircase and into Arnav's room. Anjali was in awe. Although I had not had the opportunity to notice her expression after my sudden exit from the room, it was not difficult to guess. And Arnav. I had a sudden urge to laugh. He certainly would not have expected such a response from my lips. Better get used to it Mr. Raizada. I thought as I removed my bangles and threw them on the dull, square coffee table. Because that's the kind of treatment you're going to get.
Sighing, I removed the remainder of my jewelry, tossed them with my bangles and made a place for myself on my husband's bed.
It must have been at least a few hours when at last, there was a knock on the door. I could tell. Despite laying on one of the most comfortable beds that night, sleep simply would not come to me. I had been watching the sun, slowly make its way above the horizon. It was morning. I had not seen Arnav ji from the time that I had left the living room. So when I heard the three quick raps on the door, I couldn't help but think that he had returned. I lay still. He could stand outside for all I could care. Closing my eyes, I turned on the bed, trying to find a comfortable position. However, it was not long before I heard another series of knocks. "Khushi ji? It's me. I know you're awake. Open the door, please."
Saying that my heart was in my throat would be an understatement. I couldn't face her. Not after the way I had responded down there. I couldn't. I didn't have the courage. I curled up into a coccoon, wrapping my arms tightly around my knees. Maybe this was all just a bad dream. Perhaps I would awake and find that I was still laying safely beside my jiji in my house. In the one place where I belong. But destiny would have it otherwise. From the inside of the room, I could hear Anjali's loud sigh.
"If it makes you feel any better, I'm not angry Khushi ji." My breathing hitched. Had I heard her correctly? Was she really not angry? Had she forgiven us that soon? No. It was impossible. The curiousity to know more had me lift myself off the bed and rush to the door to open it.
In front of me, stood Anjali. She had not been lying. There was absolutely no anger visible on her face. Hurt? Yes. She looked weary. Her eyes were red from crying and her face was pale. She seemed exhausted. A shock of guilt flooded through my very being. It was partially because of me, after all, that she was in such a state. "I want to talk to you Khushi ji." She murmured. Her voice was barely audible. Stepping aside, I allowed way for her to enter. She sank down on the bed, closing her eyes for a brief moment. It was evident, that similar to me, she had not gotten any sleep last night either. She patted the spot beside her, motioning me to sit. A few moments of uncomfortable silence followed. Her eyes seemed to see through to my very soul itself. I shuddered, moving my gaze away from hers. "Khushi ji. I need to ask you something. And I need you to answer it with utmost honesty. No matter what you say, it's my promise to you, that I will not be angry." I looked up, surprised. "But what - " She raised her hand, silencing me at once. "No Khushi ji. Don't ask me anything. I need an answer to this question. Did you and Arnav..." My ears perked up immediately upon hearing his name. And I realized that it was the first time that Anjali had called him Arnav instead of Chote. She sighed before she began once more. "Did... something happen... between you and Arnav... that shouldn't have happened...? Is that the reason for this marriage...?" I shook my head, confused. "What do you mean Anjali ji?" She bit her lip. Her eyes were darting to and fro. She was embarrassed... about something. "I mean... did you and him... you know... umm...did he...are you..."
Suddenly, it dawned on me. She was asking if I was pregnant. I stood up from the bed so abruptly that I saw a startled look pass through her eyes. I felt scarred. "Oh eww! Anjali ji! How could you even think that?! Eww eww eww!!!!"
Relief. She sighed. I didn't miss the small smile that passed through her lips. "Oh, thank goodness Khushi ji. You have no idea how afraid I was. No idea whatsoever. Thank god." I sniffled, feeling the tears rush through my eyes. "So that's what you think of me Anjali ji?" Her expression sobered. "Khushi ji. When two people suddenly come home one night, revealing that they're married, there is not much else that goes through my mind. And after last night. When you left like that. You told me to ask Arnav. Khushi ji. Which world are you living in? It's my brother we are talking about. The one who doesn't think it necessary to even have a social life, let alone be answerable to anyone. He hasn't told me anything Khushi ji. Now what am I supposed to make of that? What is a person supposed to think?! And if it was not something like that, then why did you not tell me beforehand? Khushi ji. The way you two came home last night. The way you two had gotten married. It is obvious that the marriage didn't take place because of love. If you loved each other, then why didn't you tell the family? We would have happily fixed your marriage! Why did you have to marry like this? And Khushi ji. You have no idea how many questions I have right now. No idea. I think I might just go crazy actually, thinking about the different possibilites for your marriage, as of course, you and my brother are not going to answer me."
For the first time, I was seeing the entire scenario through a third person's eye. I felt Anjali ji's pain. I knew it hurt her to see her brother like this. And yet, there was not a thing that I could say to her. "Anjali ji." I murmured, "You know that I would tell you if I knew, don't you...?" Anjali sat up, looking at me with sudden interest. "What do you mean Khushi ji? You don't know why you got married?! But how is that... how is that possible...?"
I looked at her with a sudden saddness in my eyes. "Anjali ji... Arnav ji hasn't answered any of YOUR questions... so what makes you think he'd answer any of MINE? The truth is, I don't know why he married me."
And so I began narrating the entire event to Anjali, leaving out the "minor" parts such as Shyam's attack on me. By the time I finished, Anjali's mouth was open in a round O shape. Her breathing escaped in ragged gasps and I could see the tears filling her eyes. "Oh my god. Khushi ji." Her hands flew to her mouth, covering it in shock. "I should have known. He is my brother after all. I shouldn't have even suspected you in the first place." I sighed. "When Arnav ji is around, there is only one person who has all the control. And that is him. If it were up to me, I would never even have gotten married." Noticing the hurt look pass through her eyes, I quickly corrected myself. "Or at least, not in such a way."
She smiled. But it was a slow, sad smile. "I'm not upset Khushi ji. No sane woman would be willing to spend an entire lifetime with a person like my brother. But Khushi ji, he wasn't always like this. After our parents' death, he's built such a tight wall around himself that he hardly has a place in his heart for his family members. He's scared to love Khushi ji. Because he thinks that loving means losing. He thinks that love weakens people. Please Khushi ji. I know you don't love my brother. But please... don't ever leave him. He needs a person like you in his life to teach him to love. Whether he admits it or not, I see it in his eyes Khushi ji. He needs you. He wants you. And he loves you."
With every word she spoke, my heart felt lighter and lighter. It felt as if a heavy weight had been lifted off my shoulders. He loved me? Did he? How did Anjali know? I was scared to hope. "But Anjali ji. Loving is not enough sometimes. You need to show your love to the other person. And all Arnav ji has ever given me is hatred. How am I supposed to believe that he loves me, then?"
Anjali smiled. "He lies Khushi. He pretends. Because he can't admit that he's in love. He wants you to think that he hates you Khushi ji. But he doesn't."
I covered my face with my hands, feeling lost and confused. "Then what am I supposed to do??!" I questioned. Anjali caressed my hair softly... thoughtfully. Suddenly, her face lit up. "I have an idea!"
She stood up, placing her hands on her hips. I looked up at her, waiting for her to continue. "So Chote thinks he's immune to love huh? Well then. We'll just have to show him how completely irrisistable you are then!" She murmured, smirking. "Oooh... you better watch out brother, because you have NO CLUE what's going to be coming at you in the next few days."
END
Ok, so that was it for now guys! Please do comment! :)
Pms will be sent out later!
Lots of love,
Sanju
Jhanak
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