Part 63
Armaan still looked dazed, lost in thought. Then rummaging through the cupboard he found few more envelopes. But what caught his attention was one addressed to Riddhima. It had an incomplete address written on it. The street name and house number was missing but it had the name of the village and district. Again the PIN code was missing and it didn't have any postal stamp either. Armaan impatiently pulled out the papers and opened them and was shocked to see it in Karuna's handwriting.
Dear Riddhima,
It's been ages since I've spoken to you or even thought kindly of you. First and foremost please accept my heartfelt apologies. You may be wondering what brought about this change in me. It was a letter from my cousin, Raji, from Chennai. Only from that I came to know that the money which we've been transferring to you every month hasn't gone to you at all. Due to some error it has been accumulating in my Chennai account only. I cannot recollect how the error happened. And here I was calling you names for not ever acknowledging it.
I can't imagine how you must have managed all these years without that money. You didn't have any job or the qualifications to try for one. Did you rent out the ground floor portion of our house? But even that rent wouldn't have sufficed. I know we should have written to you earlier to find out how you were managing. But I only kept expecting you to write to us, when you actually didn't even know our address here. We are guilty of not having kept our promise, to always take care of you. While you did more than you promised. You not only gave me your dearest athaan but showered my children with so much love.
I've been too selfish in the past. Armaan and me had no right to get married but I didn't understand it then. At least he should have put his foot down. He should have honoured his marriage vows to you. He wanted to have his cake and eat it too. It's all his fault that both of us are so unhappy today. Yes, today he loves only his career and money. Even the children have gone far away from us. No one needs me now.
Why is God punishing only us? At least I deserve it because I broke a home, but you only gave away everything selflessly. Then why does He make you suffer like this? And Armaan being the main culprit is spared from everything. Even God is partial to the males.
Riddhima, I want to come and see you. I want to make up to you for all that I've put you through. I'm not sure how and when that's going to happen. I don't even have your complete address to send this to you. But I'll find a way. And when we both get together we'll teach him a proper lesson for making both our lives miserable. You are on my side na? I know you loved your athaan very much, but by now you must also detest him.
Don't worry we'll show him what female power is. My mother has taught me and I'll teach you. I'll fulfill all your wants as the amount transferred to my account will suffice us for this lifetime. Now we neither need him nor his money. We'll leave him alone, only then he'll understand what it feels to be lonely. What it is to be deserted by one you love so much.
All these years, how much ever I despised you and cursed you, it never brought any joy or satisfaction to me. But sharing my heart with you today has brought me so much peace of mind. Hope to meet you soon and spend the rest of my life peacefully with you in India. You'll accept me as your sister na? I'm sure you'll forgive me too for you are very kindhearted.
The letter had ended there, but the tears flowing from Armaan's eyes hadn't. Kalpana snatched the letter from him and started reading it with as much shock.
A: How she hated me! And I was so self-obsessed I didn't even realize it. It was totally my fault, as she says. I wrecked both their lives.
Arman sat down his face in his hands, crying like a small baby. Arun rushed in announcing "Perima has" and stopped seeing his dad like that. Seeing his perima and peripa also glum he knew something tragic had occurred. The three of them didn't even seem to notice his arrival. He rushed back down and explained the situation to Karan and his Riddhima perima.
All three of them immediately rushed upstairs. Shekar was trying to console Armaan saying "Get a hold on yourself Armaan. What's the use of crying now?" Riddhima went and sat next to her athaan, and putting her hand on his shoulder and asked "what happened athaan?" when he didn't reply she lifted his chin and pulling his hands from his face said "Look at me. Tell me." Kalpana silently handed her the letter.
She started reading it, while he wiped his face pulling out his handkerchief from his pocket. Seeing their perima's expression the boys wondered what was written in the letter. By the time she finished it, she had tears in her eyes too. "No, Karuna you were very wrong about athaan." she muttered. "But i would have surely welcomed you had you come to me." Now Karan couldn't bear to wait. He pulled the letter from her hand and both the brothers read it together.
Kal: Now we know why Karuna wanted to go to India.
Riddhima once again put her hand on her athaan's shoulder saying "You only said na that she went into depression. That's why she has written like that. She musn't have been even aware of what she was writing. I'm sure she didn't hate you so much." Holding her hand he looked up straight at her and said "She wanted to kill me Riddhima. Imagine how much she must have hated me, to do that."
All three of them were stunned to hear that.
Arun: What are you saying dad?
S: Yes, Arun. Your mother was the one driving the vehicle when the accident happened. The police informed us as we were the first to reach the hospital. She had confessed that she had purposely tried to kill her husband. But your dad stopped us from telling you all that. He made us promise that we won't, lest you think badly about your mother. But I felt you should know the truth as you are now mature enough to handle the situation.
Both the boys just looked at each other. They had no words to say. After a couple of minutes Karan pulled his dad's hand in his and said "Sorry dad. why didn't you tell us before? I've spoken so rudely to you blaming you for mummy's accident. At least then you should have told us na?"
When Armaan asked him "Would you have believed me if I had?" Karan remained silent. He knew what his dad said was true.
A: Moreover I didn't want you to think badly of your mother. You know how much she doted on you two. She even gave up her career just to take care of you. If she wanted she could have qualified and practiced, leaving you in your grandma's care. But she didn't trust her mother when it came to taking care of her kids.
Kal: I wish she'd had the sense not to listen to her in other matters too.
A: Maybe if I'd been more caring towards her, she wouldn't have become so dependent on her mother.
K: Please dad blame yourself. We've all made our share of mistakes. We are all equally responsible for her condition. She always kept asking me whom I loved more, her or perima. I would evade the question but I don'tthink I ever assured her saying I love you more mummy." Armaan looked at his son astonished by what he had said and impulsively hugged him and both of them cried together. Arun also joined them in the hug.
R: Come on now. I'm sure none of you hurt her intentionally. It was only her bad time. Forget it all. Come and have lunch.
Kal: No Riddhima. Bad deeds always lead to a bad ending and that's what my mother's bad deeds led to. She was the one responsible for all Karuna's sorrows. Let to themselves, Armaan and Karuna might have salvaged their marriage.
A: Riddhima always says, Man Proposes but its God who disposes. Though she gave up her happiness for my sake, God didn't will it. It's been my fault right from the beginning. I should have had the guts to refuse to my athai and not married Riddhima or having married her, I should have broken my promise to Karuna.
R: Athaan, what's the point in talking about all that now? Can we turn back the clock? Let us do something for Karuna's soul to rest in peace. It's more than a year since her death. We should have performed some religious ceremonies on her death anniversary, but we didn't.
A: We were in the hospital then, so I asked Prakash to contact a priest and ask him what to do. As per his instructions, I had sent some amount to a charitable institution, which teaches Vedic verses to young Brahmin boys. Those boys would pray for the departed soul and they would be served food in her name.
K: I also went to the temple that day and prayed for Mummy.
Arun: Though Karan asked me to go to a temple, I couldn't as I was on tour. But I did go to a church and pray that day. That's also ok na?
R: Yes, kanna. God is one. He is omnipresent. You needn't go anywhere to search for him. He's beside you and within you all the time.
Arun: Perima when you have so much belief in him why did you put you through so much trouble? Why did he separate you from dad for so many years?
Riddhima smiled at him and asked "If he hadn't, would I have studied further? I would have remained 8th standard pass. Neither would I have started a school in the village? It was God's will that I should help those children. They had to walk 5 miles to attend secondary school, before I started this school.
Then turning to the others she said "Come let's all go and have lunch. It's half past one and I'm feeling very hungry."
A: Riddhima, how many times have I told you not to delay your lunch for any reason whatsoever? Remember you are still on heavy drugs, which require you to have your meals at proper intervals.
Kalpana and Shekar just looked at each other noting Armaan's concern for Riddhima. Lunch was a noisy affair with the guests eating Arun's as well as Riddhima's preparations.
They had just finished lunch, when Bharati and Bhaskar dropped in. They were surprised to see Kalpana and Shekar there. When Armaan explained the reason for their visit and asked Bharati's suggestion regarding the Indian stuff, she suggested putting them on eBay for sale and donating the proceeds to some charity fund. All of them found that a very good idea.
R: But who'll buy these old Kancheepuram sarees in America? They are out of fashion and so heavy too.
Kal: You won't believe what what things people make from these sarees, and what price they fetch.
Bharati: They are people who work exclusively with Indian silk. They make designer kurtis, scarves, even handbags. They'll fetch good price.
R: Ok but there's one more thing we need to do before all of you leave tonight.
When all of them looked at her questioningly she clarified, "We're all together today. Let's all go to the temple and get a pooja done for Karuna's soul to rest in peace."
S: We already did those ceremonies when she died. Though Armaan was in the hospital the boys had come.
R: It's ok, we'll do it again, together as a family. All of them agreed to it.
Edited by ssh57 - 13 years ago
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