Chapter 26
Shanthivan Delhi 2011
He dint know for how long he stayed like that on his knees, face buried in his hands & sobbing silently. Finally when even his eyes had given up & the tears had dried up, he straightened up & started making his way heavily to Kushi's room. He knew that even if she wanted to leave, she wouldn't do it in the middle of the night but he was no longer sure of what she might do & what she mightn't. She had become unpredictable like him.
As he stood outside her room he hesitated, then squared his shoulders like a soldier entering a grimy battlefield & entered without knocking. His heart stopped for a minute. She was thrashing around violently on the bed with her eyes tightly shut. She was screaming for her dad & was pleading with her mom. He clenched his fists & closed his eyes.
SHIT NOT THIS! NOT NOW. It's been ages since she had had the previous attack & he was too shaken at that time. This time it seemed to be even worse. He rushed to her side just as she let out a blood curdling scream for her dad.
"KUSHI KUSHI WAKE UP"
She dint seem to hear him & continued to be caught up in the throes of yet another violent fit. Tears were streaming down Arnav's cheeks. He was freaking out & he felt helpless. Kushi Kushi he continued to cry in a voice as broken as his heart. He pulled her up close, held her cheeks against his wet one & hugged her very tightly all the while continuing to say her name in a husky voice.
She was drowning & yet she was not. Someone was calling out her name & the voice held so much of hurt, pain & misery that it broke her heart. She wanted to reassure him, tell him everything would be fine even if they were just empty promises as empty as their life, promise false dawns as false as their smiles. She wanted to hold him, kiss him, take his pain away. The voice was getting clearer. Her vision was still hazy due to all the mist & water but she could still make out a silhouette. Her inner voice told her that here was her redemption, her salvation. It told her that the bearer of the voice was her only hope, her saviour from her inner evilness. She dint want him to leave. She extended her hand wanting to grab him, wanted to throw herself in his arms. Her head was pounding & her eyes started getting heavy again. NO she screamed. She would not let go of him. She shook her head & raised it above the water with a mighty effort. The mist was slowly clearing & the silhouette was becoming sharper & less hazy. The face became more vivid & she gasped out of relief & joy. But her joy was short lived. He looked exhausted & he closed his eyes wearily as if he had given up trying to reach her. He couldn't desert her. No she would not allow him to leave her alone in her personal hell. NO NEVER.
"ARNAV" she screamed
Arnav was sinking in his own personal hell. She was not responding & he started shaking with tears. Her pain tore him. He wanted to die rather than watch her die like this before his eyes. He closed his eyes.
"ARNAV" The scream jolted him & his eyes flew open.
"Arnav" she whispered. His relief was overwhelming.
It was as if a dam had broken. They were hugging each other very tightly neither of them willing to let go. Kushi was breathing heavily. She started attacking his shirt buttons with a vehemence that startled him. He realized that she was trying to rip his clothes off. He held her wrist but with a strength that astounded him she flung his hands off & continued her assault. She was uncontrollable. She was acting like a girl possessed & he just watched helplessly when she pushed him on the bed.
"Make love to me Arnav" she whispered.
Arnav closed his eyes. She was clearly going through a painful trauma & probably dint even realize what she was saying or doing. But he was still sane enough to see that she was extremely vulnerable at this point & anything that he did would be a perverted act of taking advantage of her misery. He tried to reason with her.
"Kushi just lie down. I will make you sleep".
She merely uttered a guttural moan & started kissing him with a passion & intensity that made his breathe hitch. She started with his face & started trailing hot, wet kisses all over his body.
"Kushiii" He was fighting desperately to hold on to his sanity but a passionately wild Kushi was driving him crazy. She was biting him & licking him. His senses were reeling. How could a guy even hope to be passive when his beloved was making such a sweet assault on his senses. Kushi's lips which had been trailing a blazing path down his body had reached even further below & when she touched his epicentre of masculinity with her tongue he couldn't help gasping in sheer ecstasy. He lost touch with his slender shred of sanity & his fragile self-control snapped. He pulled her into a passionate embrace & he shifted so that he was now on top of her. Kushi was discarding her clothes with an alarming alacrity & he started doubting the rationale behind his actions. Was he agreeing to her demands or was he succumbing to his own frailties & selfish lust. Where did the truth end & the lies begin. Was he being true to even himself. He could no longer understand his own motives. He was getting sucked into their vortex of self annihilation & destruction but he no longer cared.
He looked into her black eyes which displayed a storm of emotions in which he ran the risk of drowning & slipping beyond the point of no return.
"Arnav make my fear go away. Make my pain go away". He looked at her & was shocked to see the pain in her eyes, the intensity in her voice. It was as if her tormented soul was reaching out, beckoning to him. All his doubts fled him at that moment. He made his decision.
He slid down onto her crushing her slightly with his weight. He took her as his just as she took him as hers. It was a wild call of two tormented souls trying desperately to hurt & heal each other. They slid into the age-old rhythm when two souls blended & all the pain & hurt was washed away by love, lust & passion.
She was insatiable & he had unleashed the long forgotten animal inside him. They came together violently breaking as well as comforting each other. He had never seen her this wild & neither had she seen this raw emotion from him. Today was a night which neither would forget. Whether for the good for Bad only fate would tell.
They collapsed after a long time, holding each other still not letting go. Her body shuddered & he swiftly held her slightly afar so that he could see her face. She was crying & his heart stopped for a second. He knew that he had crossed the line. While she had slipped momentarily into violent madness he should have been the anchor. He should have stopped her & pulled away. Now he was beyond redemption.
"I killed her". Her voice was barely audible & for a minute he was not sure if he had heard her correctly.
She looked at him into his eyes those chocolate eyes which always fascinated her, tugged at her heartstrings & melted her iron resolve everytime.
"Here is one more reason for you to hate me Arnav. I killed my mom & right before my dad's eyes. The worst part is till now i have never regretted it. I hated her. I hated her from the bottom of my heart & even after so long I am still unable to give up that black hatred.".
"I killed her Arnav & tore my dad's heart apart. I am evil & deserve to die. Kill me right now so that i can die in your arms looking into your face & your deep, intense eyes."
"Kill me Arnav & set me free" she whispered in a broken voice.
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Author's note:
Guys i am little confused on the forum FF rules. Hope watever i ve written is within the permissible limits. Aft all this is a love story & u cant help adding such intense/passionate stuff. I promise that i ll never try 2 b gross or crass but once in a while i ve got add 2 add a little bit of sensuality 😳.
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Edited by Angels11 - 13 years ago
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