Part 15 The feelings (AR)
"True Friendship is a pant of slow growth,and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to appellation"
_______Washington
Standing outside the school building she stare at it.Thousands of memories flood back into her brain as a fade picture.Finally she sit back on the bench and saw small kids running around playing different games.She saw few friends sit on the ground and are playing games.A small smile crept her lips as she remember her school days.She kept staring at the surrounding until she heard a familiar voice "I new I would find you here".
She turn around and give him blank expression and then turn back without saying anything.He sighs and sit beside her.No one speak for long but kept staring into oblivion.Taking a long breath he says:"How are you??".She just nod her head and again silence prevailed between them.She look back at him and say"How are you and tamana??".He said with a sad smile on his face:"She is fine or I would rather say she is tying to be fine .She is trying to kind a woo me,sometimes she behaves like most vulnerable person but sometimes she will be angry on her".Riddhima stare at him and then ask"How's her legs??.Sid"No improvement..!"..Silence again prevailed.Sid first try to ask but he stop himself .Riddhima whisper and say:"He is fine too.Aryan and he had went to Play land".Sid slightly nod and say"Um..Rids..I mean Riddhima.ah..I was thinking if I could come to see aryan..I mean you know I never saw him.."
She smiles as she heard him calling her Rids.She abruptly got up holding her clutch and mobile and she turn towards saying him"Yes of course you can"
Sid watch her going away and took a deep breath.She had notice her distance behavior . In fact noticing her distance behavior what ever happened 8 years ago she held responsible him also .Her words still rang in his ears.."Whats difference between you and him,both of you are the cause of the pain I went through.But I have my reason to support him because if he has given me the wound then he himself tried to treat it but you disappoint me "
" I was wounded in the house of my Friend"
____ Anonymous
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"Their is no greater guilt than discontentment"
Sitting sightly on the bed she kept her head on the bed post.She sightly caressed the head of her son who is sleeping peacefully.She feel herself light after the confession of her mistake.But more than light she felt a creeping feeling inside her.She wanted to get rid of that feeling but how.And the most thing which hurt her is the forgive ness of Riddhima and Sid.They forgive her just like that.She knows she being silly here but thats how she felt.And the way riddhima had said those words:"My mind do not wanted to forgive you but my heart's saying just to close my eyes and forgive you"
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Silence is unbearable repartee
Slightly shutting the door he enter the house.He held aryan in one hand and held other things in other.He quickly yet silently moves upward.He lay aryan on the bed,covering him properly with the comforter he left the room.He went downstairs to put the things into kitchen when he saw riddhima in kitchen.He smiles at her she didn't smiles at him but slightly nod.He went to her put the things into kitchen.Holding her hands he make her face him. He had seen her dying every day and that's what prick.She had not asked him about his deed,he wanted her to ask him but her silence is killing him .3 months he is waiting for her to open up bu it feels if she had went into some kind of shell.
HE wanted to ask her to talk to him but words not come out of his mouth.He t go of hands and move away. Riddhima saw him moving away she wanted to stop him but how,the pain he had given her her is too much to bare too much.he deceive more he failed her he failed her.tears roll down her eyes.She felt weak vulnerable. She finally her breakdown.She fell on the floor on her knees.Closing her eyes she cried her heart. Flowing all the pain she felt.She felt her head being place on shoulder and a caressing her back.She fisted his shirts in her hands letting go all the pain ,wrath and disappointment...
Arman was about to go outside when she saw riddhima about breakdown he was going to caught her when he saw riddhima sitting on the floor and crying her heart out.He sat beside her and give her his shoulder to cry.He heard riddhima ask in a whisper:"Why arman??..why always you are the one to give me pain but you are the one help me".Arman held her more closer to him and replied"Simple I love you??".
Riddhima move away from him and look at him.She ask with tears flowing down her eyes"why arman why you did a this??"...Arman held his breath and he knows now the to tell her the whole truth
"I do not know how this all started riddhima.It just started.Being a child I always want my mother and my father love you know I never get..This thing irked me riddhima and developed certain insecurities inside me. I some how felt sid and his father responsible for this.I know you found me silly or you see foolish but that's fact.We studied in same school ,first I felt him as my friend but as I grow and start understanding my surrounding I found his friendship just a mere sympathy for me but I choose to ignore those feelings. And then you came into the picture ,for me you are my only friend,you are the only one whom talk with me without any reason and that's what I want that moment.You just kind a understand me.You smile at me and cheer try to cheer me.But say it my fate you were more friendly with Sid you use to hang around with him more than me ,that pricks my heart riddhima.I start hating him riddhima.A big part of mine don't wanted him in my life .I try to ignore , try to block out these thing but some how these feelings grow with me as I grew but was present in the depth of mine.Every thing was going better until she came back into the picture.I expect sid to be with me but no he support her over me.Like every relationship he too turned me down.The night on that beach...umph...you remember riddhima??
Riddhima looked at the person sitting in front of her talking like a child.He is the person she never knew.He is looking kind a desperate as if trying to make her understand him.As if trying to tell her what he had faced.When he talk about sid his voice is full of venom.What had happened to him and how come she never try to know this arman. Fear griped her she felt herself being suffocated.She was afraid of him but the strange thing was if he was afraid of him on one side than on other hand she need him for comfort.Afraid she held his hand in tight grip..
Oblivious to riddhima's terminol arman kept on "He had with stand with that woman riddhima,with a woman who leave his 7 year old child for a myth,who leave a loving husband like dad who even now love her.That women don't deserve anything .. In spite I dislike Sid I never show him that and what he did..He said he is my best friend he is against her what ever she done was wrong and when the time come he deceive me riddhima he deceived me.That night something change my dislike change into something furious"
Riddhima saw the hatred in his eyes for Sid .His eyes were blank as he was saying all that.One time he is desperate like a child but suddenly his voice turned into venom full voice.
Then you know what he tired to do he tried to make you closer to... He tried to make you away from me and height of him he try to involve me too.
Then Tamana came into the picture.I had notice her and Sid friendship but it never matter to me.But that girl has the same problem as I have.I had seen the dislike against you.First I not like this but then I thought of using her against your friendship.I want Sid out of our life and you in my life.Everything went great everything every single step of mine make your and Sid friendship weak. But you know what riddhima the sadness on your face that day... it killed me riddhima..it just killed me...I never realize in doing this I am snatching your happiness...*Sigh*..I realize it but it was already late. Riddhima that night you were crying like hell in my arms..Your tears ,your vulnerable state every thing was shouting at me telling me how much wrong I have done ..Riddhima I am sorry for all the pain which I caused to you.."
Tears start trickling down their eyes .Arman held her face ,like she is some kind of vulnerable this and said in a desperate voice:"Riddhima I am sorry for the pain I caused to you.I never thought of the pain which you will go through .I had become selfish..But riddhima I love you riddhima.I am sorry..."
Arman completely broke down like a vulnerable child and riddhima she do not even know what was going with her??..Arman's each word felt like a sword.She felt wounded.Her heart become heavy.Right now in front of her arman was sitting who want comfort.She can provide him the comfort but what about her.What was her fault.She trust arnav and he hurt her,She trust arman he decieved her,she trust Sid he leaves her when she needed him the most.She felt tired.Felt her being breathless.
Her thoughts went to that fateful day which some how change her whole life
Flash Black..!
Riddhima was about to go to classes when Kat came and say :"riddhima tamana is calling you she is creativity room".
Riddhima first felt strange but than she thought of going there.
She enter the creativity room but there was no sign of tamana .She called few times tamana but getting no answer she was about to move when she saw tamana sitting on the floor with her head bowed. Riddhima went to her.She kept her hands on his shoulder and merely whisper "Tamana" when she saw blood oozing out of her hands.
She quickly held tamana's hand and try to bandage it when tamana jerk her away and riddhima' hand hit the glass and bleeding start.But riddhima didn't care for herself she was shocked seeing tamana behavior. She spoke:"Tamana what happened.Is every thing alright"
Tamana laugh sarcastically and replied:"How things can be alright when you are present there huh??"
Riddhima"Tamana what had happened to you why you talking like this"
Tamana mockingly laugh and say:"What had happened to me you are asking me what had happened to me.You bitch you trying to act innocent in front of me.Please spare me with this innocent mask. Isn't Sid and Arman are not enough for you that you are playing this innocent game with me huh??
This anger riddhima to core.She wanted to lash at her and wanted to tell her to whom she is talking but she control herself as she know Sid love her.If she would say anything to her Sid will feel bad.Holding her books she says:"Listen dude you seems not alright lets talk some other time I have to take my class so bye">Riddhima say this as coolingly as she can.Than she turn and was about to go when tamana held her books and through them away and that was the cross limit now for riddhima. She turn back and lash out at her:"Listen tamana I am not intresting in your crap I am only bearing you because of Sid.Please don't cause problem for me and for Sid.You don't like me fine I will not talk to you Okay .PLEASE NOW LET ME GO OR ELSE??
She again turn and just reached out the exit when tamana again held her arms and jerk her.:"I am not letting you go until we are finish...You are a bitch riddhima"
Riddhima hed her breath.She wanted to do something furious but thought of Sid were not letting her do anything but on the other hand tamana was not helping her. Finally she thought to ask her:"What's your problem huh??Tamana??
Tamana laughs sarcaticaly and replied "what's my problem. Don't try to act innocent in front of me"
Riddhima roll her eyes and say"Why I will act innocent in front of you huh??
"Off course why you act innocently in font of me as you have already two guys to act innocent"Tamana says with venomous voice.
Riddhima took a sigh .She is not understanding what exactly tamana is saying.She is neither letting her go nor telling her what problem she has.
"Tamana seriously what's your problem.Because of you I am missing my one lecture.If you do the courtesy to tell what is bothering you about me. Please."Riddhima asked her tired.
"So you want to know what is bothering me Bitch.Its you who is bothering me.You are trying to snatch Sid away from me."Tamana said exasperated.
Riddhima kept looking at her face.This girl is confusing her badly.
"Sorry" This all could riddhima spoke.
Tamana give her sarcastic look and say"what you just said sorry.Huh!! so now you are sorry of you deeds.You know what riddhima"She said it pointing towards her"I am my parents only daughter and I hate sharing.You think I will let you know snatch sid huh??
Riddhima kept looking at the girl standing in front of her .Right now she is like a mad dog for her.
Before riddhima could think further she felt a jerk and her hand touch the broken glass piece,which were pricking her skin.But the thing which shocked her the most was tamana lying on the pieces of the glass spread on the floor.Before she could do further or say further she heard Sid "TAMANA".
Sid jerk her away and held tamana hands. Riddhima try to hold tamana hands but Sid give her a glare.She was not understanding what was actually going on here.She is just trying to help tamana.
After few minutes Tamana got conscious . As soon as she was up she hug Sid and start weeping.Sid held her closer and try to soothe her.
Riddhima only heard her muffed cry and she heard tamana saying:"I told you she doesnt have good intention about me but you never believed me".
She felt her breathe become shallow.She keep standing their looking at them unbelievable.She still not understand the storm which tamana had bought.
Finally mutting up the courage she say:"Tamana are ...you...are you fine??"
In turn she saw Sid glaring at her.He made tamana sit and stand up in front of riddhima. Unknowingly she held the glass piece stronger.She was not feeling the pain because the look which she saw on Sid face had strangled her.
Sid pointed his fingers towards her and say"Why the hell you do this??"
Fear grip inside her but still she ask"What I have done??"
Sid griped her shoulder and say"If you had not liked tamana you could have told me but you try to harm her.If Kat had not told me about what you did with tamana I would never had known what exactly you are"
Riddhima kept staring at his face.His words seems like alien to her.
"Who says I disliked her" she said bewildered. The grip of Sid loosened when they tamana meek voice:"Riddhima atleast now stop acting"
"I am not acting" She went to Tamana:"Tamana why are you lying" She look back at Sid and say:"Sid I am not lying.Why I would dislike her.You loves her so why I will dislike her" She says desperately.
No one spoke for a moment and then Sid's voice echoed inside the room
I don't believe I made a bitch like you my friend
For ArSh PTO the part is on next page..!
Edited by XxDeansChickxX - 12 years ago
Pushpa Impossible
9