Droplets#2 (Rajeev FF) FINAL 2 Parts Page-82 - Page 57

😭😭😭😭😭plxsss do continnue da story...

Part 34

Rashi's wedding preparations were going on in full swing. But Ashna was absolutely unnerved and tensed about Adil. She had no idea how she was going to tell him what she knew now. He was already distressed about her trying to uncover his roots but she had refused to give up on him. But now she was afraid because she deemed it to be the hardest part: telling Adil about his father. She remembered how she got hold of this truth unexpectedly when she was out of all hopes and possibilities. It all started that day.

Ashna perceived nothing special about that day. It was as ordinary as it could be and it was in fact almost over. However in the evening, she unexpectedly found a file in the cupboard and that changed it all.

As Adil came home at night, he realized he made an incorrigible mistake in the morning. In his hurry to take out some papers, he forgot to keep an important file inside, which was now in Ashna's hands.

There was accusation in her eyes and a hurt which was alien even when he told her about his illness. She felt deceived and he could not blame anyone but himself for that. Although his brain probed him to just walk away and avoid this confrontation, he could not just bring himself to do so. He did not have the same strength of showing rather cruel indifference which he once used to have. He realized her eyes alone were enough to render him this helpless.

Ashna: Do you even want to explain it? Ya phir zaruri nahi samajhte? Ya phir shayad mood nahi hai?

Adil: (trying to sound as reasonable as he can) Ashna, you don't have to react this way. Calm down!

Ashna: Calm down? You want me to calm down Adil? Main pichhle kuch dino se itni pareshan hu, kya kuch nahi kar rahi hu ki koi ek clue mil jaye tumhare parents ke baare me, yaha tak ki kisi ko bataya bhi nahi koi madat nahi li kyunki tum nahi chahte aisa, sab kuch akele kar rahi hu aur tum bhi madat nahi kar rahe. But it was all fine. It was all fine till you MOCKED me Adil Raichand.

Adil: Maine aisa kuch nahi kiya Ashna!

Ashna: To phir ye kya hai? Kya hai ye file? Isme tumhare biological mother ki har detail hai and you perhaps have it with you for quite long, lekin tumne ek baar bhi...

Adil: (he cut her in between) Tumne shayad notice nahi kiya, she is dead! Unke details se koi fayda nahi hota Ashna. Wo mar chuki hai, mere birth ke kuch hi mahine baad wo guzar gayi.

Ashna: So what?? Ye hi keh dete mujhe ki Ashna meri Maa guzar chuki hai so please invest all your efforts in trying to find my father!! Or is he dead too? Tumhe to pata hi hoga, whatever it is, you would know. Because Adil Raichand knows everything that he needs to know, right?

Adil: And what makes you think I NEED to know about him?

His voice was suddenly devoid of any warmth or softness. The earnest effort with which he was trying to reason with her until now, was just gone and Ashna felt worried.

Ashna: What is it Adil? Aisa kya jaante ho tum?

Adil: Just leave it Ashna.

He was about to walk past her when Ashna held him back.

Ashna: Kya tum sach me nahi samajhte main iss baat ko yahi pe kyun nahi chhor sakti? Tumhe achhe se pata hai meri situation, apna condition pata hai tumhe. You know we don't have time. Main chah ke bhi tumhe aur waqt nahi de sakti Adil, I'm sorry but aaj main tumhe jaane nahi de sakti ye soch ke ki tumhe takleef hogi. Mujhe pata hai Adil, you have always been dealing with a lot and I seriously don't want to burden you anymore, but I can't hold back anymore. Mujhe darr lag raha hai ki kahin bahut der na ho jaye. So please, let me in Adil. Main chah ke bhi aur wait nahi kar sakti, please!

As Ashna breaks down in front of Adil, the sudden roughness in his composure disappears. He knew very well that she did not deserve any of this pain and suffering.

Adil: I'm sorry for putting you through this. I should have handled it alone till the end. Ye sab jo maine shuru kiya isse mujhe akele hi khatam karna chahiye tha.

Ashna: (wipes her tears harshly) Mujhe samajh jana chahiye tha ki tumhe kuch bhi bolne se koi fayda nahi hoga. Tum kabhi kuch nahi share karte, sab kuch apne andar dabake rakhne ki adaat hai tumhe. Lekin kya karu, mujhe adaat nahi hai na, isliye aise... Khair, we've had this conversation before, this goes nowhere so...

Before Ashna could finish her sentence, Adil walked past her and looked inside the cupboard for something. He came back with a locket in his hand and opened it for her. Inside there was a very blur photo of a lady, possibly his mother.

Ashna looked at him confusedly, wondering what he had to say about this.

Ashna: Is that your mother?

Adil: Haan. Lekin iske other half me bhi ek photo thi, jo ab clear nahi hai. (It is now that Ashna notices the other half of the locket, it was like someone struggled to damage the photo and succeeded in doing so) Ye ek heart shaped locket hai, so it's not wrong to guess isme meri Maa ne uss insaan ki tasveer rakhi hogi jinse wo pyar karti thi. Now something definitely went wrong aur isiliye ye locket mujhe dene se pehle unhone wo tasveer itne mushkil se nikali.

Ashna: Aisa zaruri nahi hai. It's possible that you are taking it all wrong.

Adil: I know, but maine orphanage ke staff se baat kii thi. Ek lady thi jinse mujhe uss jagah ka pata chala jahan se mujhe uss orphanage me bheja gaya. It was more of a helping organtization of sorts. Apne pregnancy ke dino me meri Maa wahi thi. Waha se mujhe pata chala ki no one ever came to take her back. Koi family nahi, koi husband nahi, kuch nahi. Unhone khud bhi kisiko contact nahi kiya. She never mentioned about my father. Haala ki wo bahut bimaar thi, she would hardly talk but phir bhi, unhone naa to ye kaha ki wo kis family se belong karti hai, naa hi ye ki main kis family ka hu. Eventually sab ne wohi guess kiya jo ab tum guess kar rahi ho.

Ashna: Lekin Adil tum...

Adil: Mujhe pata hai tum kya kahogi. Bas ek guess par kahin maine apni puri zindagi to khadi nahi kar di? The answer is no. I did my checks. There indeed was someone from her college, pyar me dhoka diya aur chala gaya. Nothing new and surprising right?

Ashna: Wait. Agar tumne itna pata kiya hai to aage bhi...

Adil: Mujhe aage kuch pata nahi karna hai Ashna. I can't.

Ashna: Adil, dekho main samajhti hu...

Adil: No, you don't and I don't expect you to understand Ashna. Isiliye maine ye sab tumse chhupaya. Lekin ab jab tumhe pata chal hi gaya hai, then ye bhi samajh lo iske aage kuch nahi ho sakta. Aur agar tumhe lagta hai tum khud pata kar logi then am sorry to say but main wo hone nahi dunga. Ye kahani yehi khatam hoti hai Ashna and that's it.

Adil was about to walk away when Ashna's words bound him back.

Ashna: Kahani?! To ye sab sirf ek kahani hai tumhare liye? Chalo achha hai. Tab to tum mujhe ye bata hi sakte ho ke iss kahani me mera kya role hai? I mean what have you planned for me?

Adil: Ashna dekho...

Ashna: No Adil. Just say it. Tumne kuch to socha hoga! Cause clearly you have thought through all of it, kisko kya karna hai kya nahi, tumne soch ke rakha hai. Itne dino me mere liye bhi kuch soch liya hoga na?

Adil: Tum ye kya keh...

Ashna: Please Adil. Agar ye ek kahani hai, agar meri zindagi bas ek kahani hai, then I'd rather have you write it for me. So tell me, what do you want me to do? Should I stop with all my efforts and just sit back? Will that make you happy? Kya main ye pretend karu ki ye sab bas ek bura sapna tha jo hua hi nahi and just enjoy Rashi's wedding? Kya karu main? (and her utter helplessness gives way to the tears in her eyes again) Kya chahte ho tum? Khush rahu? Normal behave karu? Silly arguments karu tumhare sath? Aur uske baad kya? Tumhare baad kya? (she evidently choked on the last words) Sab kuch to batate ho tum Adil. Sab kuch to pata hai tumhe, to ye bhi batao ki main kya karu aur kaise karu? Tell me what should I do after you!!

Adil: (he raised his voice unintentionally) You should move on! Itna bhi nahi samajhti? (and then he continued in almost a whisper) You should move on and have a proper life. That's what you should do.

Ashna: Ab meri taraf dekho and for the sake of the one thing you probably hold most dear in your life, please tell me if you really mean that? Look in my eyes and say it.

For a moment Adil thought it was an easy task. He had blatantly lied to her before. Looking into someone's eyes and lying to their face was nothing new to him. He had been doing it for years now whether it was his Mom, Rashi, Dadi, Shekhar or even with Ashna he had done it. He could do it again, he could lie just one more time and he knew Ashna would give up on him which was his goal all along, or wasn't it? He suddenly trembled in his own thought. It was not like he did not know the consequence, in fact he lived this moment a thousand times in his nightmares where he would finally let go of her and that would be it. But now that the moment presented itself in actuality in front of him, he could not muster enough courage to do it. As her eyes looked at him in almost despair, he could not manage to lie anymore.

Adil attempted to look away, resorting to escapism again but Ashna's hand was faster as it reached his face to direct his gaze back at her.

Ashna: Tumhe ab bhi mujhse bhagne ki zarurat padhti hai?

Her hand dropped on its own as she said the words to him in utter pain and disappointment. She felt like she had achieved nothing during this period of being with him; not even the slightest right of being told the truth when she was so desperately asking for it whereas he had earned the most crucial place of her life. It felt like she had failed.

Adil however held her by the wrist as she was about turn away.

Adil: I want you to mourn me for the rest of your life. I want to kill anyone who even dares to come near you and take you away from my memories. I want you to smile for me, cry for me and do everything that you do just for me. I want you to live for me and carry out your life as if I am living through you. I want you to do all these and lot more but ye sab sunne me hi kitna absurd aur meaningless lagta hai. Mujhe nahi pata main kaise kahu. May be I am not being able to say it properly that ...I want you to...

Ashna: ...be in love with you for the rest of my life?

And there she said it without sounding absurd or insane at all. It seemed so easy for her to say the word where he always felt a strain to even pronounce these four letters. Love' was not an alien feeling to him but he somehow remained aloof from it. It never charmed him the way it did to other people. Love felt more surreal whereas hatred felt closer to reality. In fact, even until now, love felt a bit burdening to him, but this somewhat verbal confession was refreshingly soothing. Instead of how his words would complicate his life, all he could think about was "now she won't leave me". It was extremely selfish; all he wanted was to chain her to him so that she would never leave. But even the self-loathing didn't seem to matter as he watched her smile in between her tears. She seemed to understand how difficult it was for him to just say it and she seemed to appreciate also as she didn't probe him any further. No more questions were asked and no more arguments were made as Ashna leaned in to his embrace. This was the closest to confession she would perhaps ever get.

After the somewhat unusual confession, Adil had been soft towards Ashna. He no longer feigned rudeness nor did he try to be unnecessarily distant or aloof. He however avoided talking about his father, who was very much alive according to Ashna. She in fact believed that Adil perhaps knew about his father's whereabouts already and that's why he was being secretive from the beginning. However, Ashna found it hard to even begin to talk to Adil about this matter. He could easily sense her nervousness and dodge the topic smoothly. Also, Rashi's wedding being at the door, both of them were busy and that would ruin her chances too.

Her constant failures in persuading Adil were taking a toll on her and her inability to talk to anyone else about it was mounting on her as well. That is when she rather stumbled on this truth, which was both life-saving and life-ending for Adil and she realized how wrong she had been when she thought he knew. She was now sure that he did not know and wondered if she could tell him, now or later, or ever!

Soon the wedding day had come. Ashna had been trying to keep the truth from Adil and luckily he did not suspect her, may be because he was too busy with the wedding. However, it was not like Ashna never tried to talk to Adil. The graveness of the situation coupled with the time running out did probe her to try and take a step ahead, but she honestly did not get a chance. And it was during those few days, she realized how hard it was sometimes to be able to the right thing. May be, Adil had always faced this very dilemma to which he used to say that she would not understand.

The wedding ceremony was full of grandeur. Everything was according to the likes of Rashi; there were more than enough people to make sure of it.

Throughout the wedding, Adil was more relaxed than he ever was in his entire life. The moment of Kanyadaan' was enough to take away any pain or suffering he had ever come across in life. He was not sure at first, whether he truly had the right to perform such a significant ritual. It was performed by the parents and he was skeptical. But with one look at Rashi, he knew she would not have it any other way. He felt guilty that Mr. Raichand could not be here today, but the guilt was overpowered by the sheer joy he felt for being able to do this for his sister, who was never less than a daughter to him. He looked at others for their reaction. While his Mom and Rishabh were evidently happy, his Dadi also seemed surprisingly okay. She may not be glad, but she did not protest either. This was more than enough for Adil.

Soon the ceremony was over and Adil felt like he was finally done with his responsibilities. The facts that Rashi was happily married to Shaleen and that Rishabh had finally settled himself in this life and never mentioned about going back and also that both his Mom and Dadi were truly content after a long period of time had brought him an inexplicable peace. This peace was of course enhanced by his confession to Ashna, which he thought he could never do.

It was true that Ashna would always act beyond his expectation and that is what used to worry him in the beginning. But this rebellious attitude of hers was also what he fell for. She was like the breath of fresh air in his otherwise stagnant life. Loving her was absolutely out of his control but being loved back was what he thought as an unattainable feat. Her love for him was truly unexpected. Even when she would blatantly profess her love through various actions and during various occasions, he mostly thought it was too good to be true. But the way she had held on to him even after everything he did, he also started to believe that may be God had not been absolutely cruel and may be, just maybe she truly belonged to him. Now her silent resignation to his somewhat confession that night was more than enough for him to die with that peaceful thought.

It was almost strange how everything seemed to be fine all on a sudden. As he watched the people around him, joyful and content, he suddenly felt a familiar emotion within him. It was similar to what he used to feel when Mr. Raichand was still around. The feeling was light and unburdening; it was almost similar to happiness.

It was nearly dawn when Ashna finally got her chance to talk to Adil alone.

Ashna: Are you okay?

Adil: Haan kyun?

Ashna: Adil mujhe kuch zaruri baat karni thi.

Adil: Kaho, main sunn raha hu.

Ashna felt something strange as he responded to her. There was something missing and it did not take her long to figure out what. The usual anxiety with which he approached everyone and everything was lacking. It was so unlike the Adil Raichand she knew. He was evidently tired but she could not miss the calmness in his eyes.

She almost gasped at her realization. He was prepared...to let go! Not only that, he perhaps thought that she had given up too. And so Ashna realized, this was going to be harder than she thought.

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Part 35 (Last part + Epilogue)

Adil: What happened Ashna? Koi problem hai?

Ashna: Wo...ek zaruri baat hai Adil and I know you won't like talking right now, but I can't wait any longer.

Adil: (sensing the urgency in her words) Kis baare me baat karni hai?

Ashna: Usse pehle tum promise karo kii tum meri puri baat sunoge and interrupt nahi karoge.

Adil: And here I thought we were done with this.

Ashna: Please Adil. Sunn to lo. (and when Ashna realized he was not retaliating, she continued) I think I know who your father is.

It took her immense courage to say those words to him. In the past few days only, she had realized how much this topic ached him and she sincerely did not wish to hurt him in any way. Ashna paused to gauge his reaction but he remained still and seemingly unaffected.

Ashna: Adil mujhe bas ye accidentally mil gaya aur...(she was about to show him something but he stopped her midway)

Adil: I don't want to see. I don't want to know. (Adil stated almost as a matter of fact)

Ashna: Lekin Adil...

Adil: I can't know Ashna!

He had interrupted her words with his mere whisper which contradicted his usual tone of speech in many ways. His words were laced with so much agony that Ashna seemed to feel the pain too. It almost sounded like a cry for help. Ashna wanted to stop right then but she could not afford that. She was bound by time, or in fact the lack of it.

For Adil it was the most dreadful moment of his life. He knew what she was hoping for. He knew everything that was at stake. He knew her fears, her pain, her desperation and also her compulsion for having to do this. He understood it all, her love and her agony both. But did she understand how impossible it was for him to give in? If only it did not threaten his very existence, he would have succumbed to all her pleas. He had hurt her enough for a lifetime and he did not wish to hurt anymore. But what she demanded right now, would kill him anyways! Did she understand that?

Adil finally looked up at Ashna to get an answer to that query. All he could find was immense love and care, but what he really looked for was an understanding and he was not sure if he found that. That is when he wondered if anyone could ever understand what he felt at that moment and why it was so scary for him to even consider what she was implying.

Here Ashna found it hard to bear his gaze. She realized what he was perhaps trying to do. He was seeking help; he was wondering if she understood what he felt like. To be honest, she had only a minor idea of what he might be going through, but she could not exactly tell how it felt. She had not lived the life he had, she had not endured the sufferings he had and so she could not possibly understand his reasons.

However, she could not even empathize with him right now and so she did what she thought she could afford at that point. She closed her eyes to keep herself from deterring and tried to persuade him even though she knew it would hurt him.

Ashna: I wish I could be of more help Adil and trust me I don't want to do this to you. I know it must be really hard for you. Tum pata nahi kab se unse nafrat karte ho aur ab achanak ye sab asaan nahi hai tumhare liye. But I have to do this. In fact, tumhe kuch karne ki zarurat nahi hai. Sab kuch main dekh lungi, main unse mil kar...

Adil: Kya kahogi? Kya kahogi mere baare me?

His voice had a strange icy bitterness to it which was again very alien to the way he normally spoke and his words were more of a mockery of himself.

Ashna: Wahi jo kehna chahiye.

Adil: (smirks) Yehi ki dekhiye mister, aapka ek najayaz aulad hai jisse aap barso pehle marne ke liye chhor chuke the, lekin pata nahi kaise wo abhi tak marra nahi..

Ashna: Adil...Kya bol rahe ho tum?

Adil: Do you want me to be more polite? Chalo wo bhi try karte hai. Kuch aise start karna, dekhiye aapko shayad yaad nahi ya phir aapko pata nahi hoga aapka ek beta hai jo kii bahut jald marr jayega agar aapne madat nahi kii to. So please ek aakhri baar daya kar dijiye...

Ashna: Bas karo na Adil. Mujhe sunte hue jo takleef ho rahi hai usse zyada to tumhe bolte hue ho rahi hogi.

Adil: Takleef ki baat nahi hai Ashna. Tum samajhti kyun nahi? Why don't you try to be reasonable? Agar main maan bhi jau to bhi kuch nahi hoga! Tumhe kya lagta hai, jo insaan ek baar mujhe aur meri Maa ko thukra chuka hai, hamein marne ke liye chhor chuka hai, usse mere jeene ya marrne se koi fark padhta hoga? Wo koi raees insaan tha, jisne meri Maa ko bas use kiya aur zarurat khatam hone pe chhor diya!

Ashna: Please aise mat kaho...you don't even know kii hua kya tha!

Adil: Naa kehne se sach badal nahi jaata Ashna! Aur phir iss me naa janne wali baat hi kitni hai. Bahut obvious si baat hai ye.

Ashna: Tum kab se itne judgmental ho Adil? Tum to hamesha sach janne ki koshish karte ho, sabko samajhte ho. To phir iss baar kyun nahi? Hum sab ke liye isse ek mauka nahi de sakte tum?

Adil: Damn it Ashna tum...

Adil stopped as something fell from Ashna's hand as he moved his hands in frustration. He stared at it as it seemed familiar.

Adil: Ye to tumhare Dad ki diary hai na? (he realized he had seen it before) Tum mujhe isme kya dikhana chah rahi ho?

Ashna: Wo main pichhle dino bahut upset thi aur ye diary bas haath lag gayi aur maine bas ek part padh li jisme Dad ne...unhone shayad tumhara locket dekha tha, jisme tumhari Maa ki tasveer hai?

Adil remembered the instance when he was in fact carrying the locket with him to get its chain fixed and it accidentally fell down. Mr. Sehgal had picked it up for him but he didn't realize there was enough time for him to even open it. He thought he was rather quick to come back for the locket.

Adil: So your Dad recognized my mother?

Ashna: Haan aur unhe ye bhi pata tha ki tumhare father kaun hai. Unhone apni taraf se confirm bhi kiya. He knew them both. Shayad wo dost the. Aur isiliye wo chahte the ki hum dono...

Ashna did not complete the sentence but he understood nonetheless. Mr. Sehgal was so hell bent on getting Ashna married to him because he was somebody's son, somebody he knew as a friend. Suddenly Adil felt incompetent and useless. The one person who he had grown to love naturally and what he considered to be the most beautiful gift of his life had actually nothing to do with him; it was all because of whose blood ran through his veins. It was like a slap on his face which reminded him how pathetic he was to still be in his debt. This life that he was living, every breath that he was taking, every drop of blood that was running through his body, every ounce of his existence was already a painful reminder that he was his son. But now the one person he had finally managed to share his life with, was also with him because of that man.

All on a sudden a lot of things were going on in Adil's mind. But he felt like something was amiss. He looked up at Ashna and saw the clear hesitation written on her face. That's when it struck him.

Adil: Why aren't you telling me? How long have you known Ashna?

Ashna: Maine kaha na, bas do din pehle hi mujhe ye diary mili...

Adil: And you waited these two days? Fine, I get it. Shaadi ka ghar tha, you didn't want to ruin anything. Lekin ab kya problem hai?

Ashna: Main samjhi nahi Adil.

Adil: Tum mujhe sab kuch bata rahi ho, jab ki main janna nahi chahta. Tum mujhe sab kuch janne ke liye force kar rahi ho, lekin abhi tak tumne koi naam nahi liya. Who is it Ashna?

At first, Ashna was taken aback. She could feel his intent gaze on her, but she composed herself nonetheless.

Ashna: That's because you said you don't want to know. And I think that would be better too. You don't need to give him a face or a name! You can just hate him like you always have.

For the first time during the entire conversation Adil felt amused. He could in fact give away a chuckle only if he was not fighting this fierce battle within. The girl standing before him had this endearing innocence inherent in her and she had always fascinated him, no doubt. But today as he witnessed her pure unadulterated concern over how he must be dealing with this, he could not help feeling proud that he had her by his side. But the next moment, it reminded him why exactly he had her in the first place. He thought the stinging feeling in his heart would never subside and he just wanted to get away. But he had just recently decided not to escape her, so he didn't turn his back this time.

Adil: What do you exactly want Ashna?

Ashna: Main bas chahti hu ki tum haan keh do, tumhe aur kuch janne ki zarurat nahi hai. Kya hoga, kaise hoga kuch mat puchho Adil, tum bas treatment ke liye tayyar ho jao please! Aur...

Adil: Aur?

Ashna: Please don't shut me out. I can't stand it when you do that. Maine pehle bhi kaha hai, meri zindagi me aaj jo bhi hai bas tumse hai, main chah ke bhi tumhe khud se alag nahi kar sakti. Aur phir tumhi socho, agar kuch nahi hona hota, to phir ye sab pata hi kyun chalta? Tumne to bahut koshish kii thi na ki sach kabhi samne na aye, lekin...

Adil: It's okay Ashna. Don't be so hard on yourself. Tumhe meri razamandi chahiye na? Okay then, tumhe jo karna hai karo. I'll be okay with it. Lekin abhi ke liye so jao. You must be tired. It was a long hectic day.

Ashna did not expect the calmness that Adil showed and she was stunned to say the least.

Ashna: Lekin Adil...

Adil: Chalo vaada kiya! I won't evade this.

Epilogue

It has been six years to that day. I made my first promise to her and I kept it. She still doesn't know though, that I knew that day. She had already talked to that man about me; she had already gone through tests to determine whether he could be a donor for me. She had come to me at last. She was desperate for a yes because she was absolutely sure about the donor. I know why she did that. She really did not want to torment me until there was absolute surity; she meant those words when she said "I have to do it".

Back then, I felt a lot of things- frustration, helplessness, anger, pain and also betrayal. But that was momentary. The one emotion that dominated everything else was her love. She was one person who hated pretense and she could hardly lie as well, but she did everything beyond her character; just because she loved me. And after what I had done to her, I kind of felt like I owed it to her. That was the one moment in my life when love overpowered the feeling of hatred.

However, the pain in my heart was unbearable. It still is. There are times when I look at myself in the mirror and I wonder if I hate that man or myself. The life given to me was what I had hated the most but that life is also what I practically begged him for. Ashna said he never knew about my mother being pregnant when they broke up, but that is no excuse for the sufferings that my mother went through. He disappointed her trust and love and so did I. It is rather ironic how I had turned into what I actually hated the most-my father. I still don't know his name or face, but I feel him inside me more than I ever did and I hate this feeling.

There were times when I honestly hoped that the treatment would not work and I would just die. That seemed to be the easier way out of the misery. Yes it was coward and selfish but easy. I feared the life ahead where I was sure I would hate my very existence. I thought I was again aiming for a life I had already lived and detested. But I was wrong.

Armaan proved me wrong! The moment he was born and I took him in my arms, I felt alive. I might still hate myself or my father, but that hatred does not define me anymore; love does. Every time Armaan calls me dad', I realize it all the more.

Armaan: Dad, mamma se bachao mujhe!

Ashna: What? How can you say that? Adil dekho na, mujhse kaise behave karta hai ye.

Armaan: Dad, meri ghalti nahi hai iss baar. Mamma mera yakeen hi nahi karti. Aap samjhao na unhe!

Ashna: Adil kya samjhayega mujhe! Main khud bahut samajhdaar hu samjhe!

Adil raised his eyebrows at her remark and almost hid a smirk at the corner of lips. But Ashna did not miss that.

Ashna: Wait. Was that smirk for me? Tumhe main samjahdaar nahi lagti?

Adil remained silent to her question while gesturing Armaan to go and continue his play. He knew Ashna was going to make another deliberate attempt at having a fight with him. She simply enjoyed fighting with him!

Yes I enjoy my fights with Adil. That is the more natural interaction I have with him, I feel he is more of himself when he is arguing with me about something. I love every bit of it because I love him.

The few months of his treatment were no less than a hell for me. Adil had decided to move away from home for a while so that nobody gets to know. There were objections from Mom, Rashi and Rishabh. Even Dadi was not too elated to hear about him moving away. But Adil gave some excuses about setting up a new venture for Sehgal Group and we left. That was perhaps the hardest phase of my life when I had to conceal everything from them, even though they had every right to know. I sometimes wonder if everyone is really clueless about what passed by them last year!

The treatment was not easy for Adil too. I sometimes had this scary feeling that he perhaps would not make it, just because he did not want to. The pain was etched on his face even though he behaved normally and I thought he would give up. I perhaps would have given up if I was in his place and that thought scared me.

However, Adil Raichand he was and he did not give up. I know it still torments him at times; I sometimes find the other side of the bed empty late at night and I find him outside in the lawn or the poolside, staring at nothing in particular. But there is a change in the way he looks now, it seems like he does not seek for answers anymore rather has come to peace with the unanswered queries. I never told him about his father. I never told him that he wanted to try and talk to Adil and that I had prevented him from doing so. I knew Adil could not bear any more than he had and ignorance was the bliss for him.

It has been six years since then. We now have an almost five year old son, Armaan! He now defined the life of Adil. It was magical the way he managed to make Adil smile every time he was with him.

Ashna: It's good to see you smile. Muskurate hue achhe lagte ho!

Adil just had a conversation with Armaan after which Armaan left happily and an automatic smile crept up on his (Adil) lips. Adil turned towards Ashna as she complimented his smile but in return he just nodded in acknowledgement.

Ashna: Arre. Aise kaise jaa rahe ho tum? Tumhe mujhe kuch nahi kehna kya?

Adil: Kis baare me?

Ashna: Yehi ki main kaise achhi lagti hu? Muskurate hue, ya gussa karte hue, sote hue ya jaagte hue, kaise?

Adil: What!

Ashna: Kya hua? Kya main hamesha hi itni achhi lagti hu ki tum decide nahi kar paa rahe?

Ashna now leaned back on the wall while continuing to tease him. But Adil suddenly grew serious and started walking towards her as he answered her.

Adil: Nahi...hamesha nahi. Tum bas meri liye muskurati hui, meri taraf dekhti hui, mujhse baatein karti hui, mere liye pareshan hoti hui, mere liye roti hui, mujhse jhagarti hui achhi lagti ho. Tum bas mere saath achhi lagti ho aur mere hi saath jachti ho.

Adil now stood really close to her and was looking straight into her eyes. There was a raw intensity and honesty in his gaze that forced Ashna to look away. Her heartbeat had already accelerated and she continued in a mere whisper.

Ashna: To iska matlab sab credit tumhara?

Adil: (whispering back) Haan, kyunki tum bhi to meri ho, hai na?

Ashna knew she did not need to answer that question. She just closed her eyes to feel the moment. She knew Adil rarely expressed his feelings in words like this and so she would just try to grasp the moment whenever it presented itself. She loved this reserved and almost shy side of her husband whenever it came to expressing his love for her.

Many things have changed in the past few years. Rashi has two twin daughters- Tamanna and Chahat. They remind me of the younger Rashi, just when I had seen her first. Shekhar was yet to settle down but Rishabh finally got married two years back. Payal Desai was perfect for him in every respect and as far as I know, Rishabh had a tough time in persuading her. It just feels good to see Rishabh and Rashi happy in their lives. Rishabh is also more responsible now. He has the knack for business and is undoubtedly the heir of RGI. I had tried to transfer everything in their names, but both of them refused to comply. Rishabh said it was my punishment to carry out the responsibilities that I had accepted once. I know what he meant by that. He knew!

Shekhar was in fact the first one to know and he knew about my illness almost at the same time as Rashi's wedding.

Adil: I know I don't have to say anything, I know you'll manage everything in my absence!

Shekhar: I can manage only till the time I am sure that you are getting back! So tell me Adil, will you be back?

Adil: Shekhar, what...

Shekhar: Main bas itna batana jaanta hu ki mujhe mera dost wapas chahiye! Maine hamesha tumhara saath diya hai, bina koi sawal kiye! Isliye aaj bhi kuch aisa nahi puchhna chahta jiska jawab dena mushkil ho jaye tumhare liye!

Adil: Kab se? Kab se janta hai?

Shekhar: Hardly a month!

Adil: Kiska pichha kiya? Mera to nahi kiya.

Shekhar: Nahi. You know I won't do that. Ashna ke pichhe gaya tha main, mujhe laga wo bimaar hai ya phir bahut zyada pareshan hai.

Adil: Achha kiya jo kisiko bataya nahi.

Shekhar: I couldn't tell. Just like you two!

That conversation ended just like that. No more words were spoken and I felt somewhat scared. I did not say my good-bye's or thank-you's even when I knew this could be it. But then Shekhar didn't want any of my farewell greetings. He was my only friend and he simply wanted back his.

Rishabh however got to know it from Shekhar soon after I had come back from recovery. Apparently he had grown suspicious at the way Shekhar had hugged me almost crying when I returned. Rishabh was shocked, hurt and furious at the same time. I still remember the look on his face when he came to see me. His eyes were red, hands were curled into a fist and a lone teardrop rolled down his cheek, as he struggled to speak up. He actually looked like his angry younger self and it took me a moment to realize exactly why. He was wearing specs again!

Mom is now absolutely fine. Even after regaining her voice, it took her a while to recover completely from the trauma. But it seems like Armaan is her source of life too, just as mine. It feels somewhat better to see her happy and cheerful around him, something she could not be around her children.

On the other hand, Dadi's health has deteriorated. She is mostly bed-ridden, but Armaan gives her company. It was rather unfathomable for me as to how easily she had accepted him as her great-grandson. But now that I think back, I realize she always was a caring lady and also a loving mother who lost her son at an early stage of his life. She still has not forgiven me completely and I am in a way thankful for that. This allows me to keep hating as well.

Sometimes it feels weird that I almost need to hate in order to continue with my life. I could never let it go. I almost feel stupid because of this but then stupid' is apparently my middle name or so says a list written by Ashna. Few months back, I got hold of a paper whose title was Adil Stupid' Raichand and the so-called middle name was added later with an arrow. I never questioned her about it because some things are better as it is.

Ashna: Hey, kya soch rahe ho? Wait, you don't have to answer me. Mujhe pata hai tum kya kehne wale ho. Yehi na ki kuch khas nahi.

Adil: To ab tumhe sab pata hota hai?

Ashna: About you? Yeah! And it's getting so boring!

Adil: Achha?

Adil raised his eyebrows for a millisecond or so and that's all it took him to increase her heart beat. It was amusing and sometimes annoying for Ashna as to how he managed to evoke these butterfly feelings inside her even when he was sitting almost yards away. Sometimes it would take a single look even in a crowded gathering or a small almost unnoticed smile or even a blink of his eye. He did not even need to wink at her; he could simply drop his eyelids and that would do. He did not even need to try. She tried to excuse herself so that she would not caught, but he called her.

Adil: Arre ab main itna boring hu ki tum aise hi chali jaa rahi ho?

Ashna: Huh? What??

She wondered for a moment what he was talking about but then she saw the look on his face. She called it the-know-it-all look.

Ashna: To tum meri khichayi kar rahe ho? Adil Raichand apni biwi ki khichayi kar raha hai!! Interesting!! (now she comes and sits beside him by the window pane) Chalo nahi gayi main apne boring husband se dur. Ab kya?

Adil: Ab aur kya? Abhi abhi to tumne kaha "Interesting". That means your boring husband just magically became interesting! You should be celebrating! (Ashna seems surprised at his witty remark and continues to look at him amazed) Kya hua? Why are you so surprised?

Ashna: You seem relaxed and happy. It's... (Ashna pauses for a while and chooses her next word carefully) ...rare!

Adil realized the sudden seriousness as Ashna looked away from him in order to compose herself. He gently pulled her closer to himself so that her head would rest on his shoulder.

Adil: Tum yu hi fikr karti ho Ashna. Main pehle bhi keh chuka hu, I'm fine. I'm always fine!

Ashna: Exactly, tum 104 degree bukhaar ke waqt bhi wo hi kehte ho! (the innocent comment earned her a chuckle from him, much to her amusement)

Adil: Tum bhi na, bacchi ho bilkul. No wonder Armaan tumse ladhne lagta hai.

Ashna: (immediately lifts up her head from his shoulder) Ab tum mujhe apne bte se compare karne lage ho! Tum mujhe zara bhi seriously nahi lete na! Armaan aur main ek level pe hu tumhare liye? In terms of seriousness?

Adil: See! Tum kahan se kahan pahuch gayi. Maine kya kaha aur tumne kya samjha!

Ashna: Tum na bahut bure ho! Waise ye tumhari ghalti nahi hai. Kyunki tumne to mujhe pehle hi bataya tha, main hi nahi samjhi na. Kyunki main to nasamajh hu...

Adil looks on as Ashna keeps blabbering. He was amused and touched at how she would always manage to see him in the good light; so much that even when she would call him bad', she would take the blame on herself he next moment. There was a time when this realization would upset him and make him feel guilty for not reciprocating her love in the same manner; but now things have changed for the better.

Adil breaks away from his trance as Ashna shakes him to draw his attention.

Ashna: Batao na, main itni stupid hu kya?

Adil: What? Stupid?

Adil held her gaze as her curious eyes looked into his calm ones. A smile shone in his eyes even though his lips hardly managed to curve. Adil slowly moved closer until he reached near her lips and replied in a whisper.

Adil: No. That would solely be me!

He closed the remaining distance between them as he gently kissed on her lips. Words were never his forte. This was more of his way of reciprocation which Ashna sure did not mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Originally posted by: angelsabreenxz

hey summi first of all welcome back sweetheart😃 em sooo happie finnally u continued the storyyy😳...i just love the concept of dropletxs❤️ after "i love u soo much to lose u" 🤗 u are really an amazing wriiter meri jaan👏

coming back to story it is reallly an awesome update ...dair aaye durust aaye...⭐️...plzzz continue the spark growing for this fiction sweetie

Hey SUmi lovely lovely lovely update and a gr8 surprise that i am so happy to see your pm tht u updated love it totally finally Adil and Aasna is back very lovely and emotional epilogue and i requested to resume your writing and write a new FF please THANK YOU SO MUCH u didn't believe tht i register in IF so tht i will demand you for Pm or update Thank you so much i am so much happy to see my all tym fav ff competed can't express in words and must say u are a amzing writer and conttt soon with new work

Summo yaar I am trying to send you a pm regarding this ff but it is saying k u have exceeded the numbers of pm u r allowed to receive.khair koi nahi I want it to be a little personal per main yahin post ker deti hoon.
I would first of all say that thank you sooo much for finally ending my 1.5 year long wait to know the end of droplets 😆 main tumhein nahi bata sakti summo ke tumne mujhe kitna kuch diya bcoz of droplets u made me smile u made me cry hard itna ke ansoo pillow pe bhi chale jate 😭 but yet again I believed in u ke kuch bhi ho end buhat acha hoga that is what u have done aur isi liye u are surely one of the bestest writers yaara.ufff adil kia kahon I was a lrl crazy girl per life goes on and abh aur bhi aise dramas hain jo mujhe buhat ache lagte hain but still jab bhi main droplets parhthi hoon I remeber my love my crush aur kia kia kahoon uske baare 😳 thank you buhat chota hai tumhare liye per dil se shukeriya shayad tum samaj jao.i mean it yaar I LOVED droplet to the infinity...I wish ke tum koi aur story bhi likho bcoz u can do it buddy bas end it within 1 year 😆 at the end main bas itna kahon gi k I am going to read droplets again bcoz I looovvveee sad story with happy ending hehe till then tum bas yeh sun ke khush raho k duniya k kisi kone main tumhari ek dost hai jo tumhari buhat bari fan hai aur shukar guzaar bhi.Allah tumhein apne aman main rakhe buddy.Allah Hafiz.

Originally posted by: angel0912

Hey SUmi lovely lovely lovely update and a gr8 surprise that i am so happy to see your pm tht u updated love it totally finally Adil and Aasna is back very lovely and emotional epilogue and i requested to resume your writing and write a new FF please THANK YOU SO MUCH u didn't believe tht i register in IF so tht i will demand you for Pm or update Thank you so much i am so much happy to see my all tym fav ff competed can't express in words and must say u are a amzing writer and conttt soon with new work