ArSh/KaSh OS- new OS on pg 48 - Page 11

Shilpa stood infront of the mirror and told herself to breathe. Her hand shook but she forced herself to apply the powder under her eyes and told herself to calm down. She stared at herself in the mirror her eyes stood out in her face reflecting her inner turmoil. She looked at herself critically the bruises had faded long ago, the broken bones had also healed but her soul was far from healed. It had been a year since she had taken the final step and left the hell hole she had lived in.

She closed her eyes and for a second she could feel the same pressure in the air, the hint of violence which was always ready to explode. Any moment her hair was going to be grabbed from behind while her slight frame would be pushed against the wall with enough force to rattle a bone or two if not break it. Shilpa immediately opened her eyes her breath uneven as her eyes roamed the room as if searching for the source of evil.

She couldn't help herself she walked to the windows of the room and checked to see they were locked properly or not. Next she checked the bathroom and underneath the bed, just to make sure and then stood there trembling. Shilpa looked at her reflection again and straightened her shoulders, in a voice that shook with nerves: I'm not going back, never! Not even in memories! Today is the start of my new life! A new beginning and I'm not going to spoil it by thinking about the past.

She took her black clutch which matched the black dress she wore, checking he makeup one last time which was non existent she walked out the door locking it behind her.

Armaan stood in the center of an Art Gallery which was showcasing some new talent. In the art world Armaan was known to be a big name as he had a gallery by the name of "Possibilities." Very few selective designers had the privilege of displaying their work at Possibilities and any showing was incomplete without his presence.

Armaan made his way through the different pieces that were displayed, some of them were interesting but nothing that grabbed at him. He turned around and was started to make his way to the other direction nodding his head in acknowledgement at acquaintances. Suddenly he came face to face with a sculpture which stood in the middle of the room. It was made in bronze and was approximately 5 feet in height, a figure of a woman.

Armaan felt as if the sculpture has grabbed at him, it was not a beautiful piece, in truth it was actually a very disturbing piece. The face was distorted and no clear features were given but the most prevailing feature was the undeniable pain that was reflected in the posture. No sane person wanted such a disturbing piece in their house but the pain appealed to armaan, he walked to the other piece.

The next piece was again a figure which was sitting cross legged, despair was the word which came to the mind looking at it. Armaan looked around and signaled to the gallery manager who came to his side: yes! Armaan it seems you finally found something which interests you!

Armaan gave him a brief smile: I would like to talk to the artist!

Manager: of course! If you come this way with me!(walking ahead) she is very talented and her work is very unique! Shilpa!(he called out to a figure standing in black with her back towards them, at the sound of her name she whirled around)

Shilpa felt her heart thud as the gallery manager introduced her to Armaan Malik, the way he looked at her made her want to run and hide. Armaan looked at the girl standing infront of him and was surprised, he could not imagine the girl creating the sculpture that he was so enthralled by. He walked with her back to her sculpture and waited for her to speak but she stood there with her arms crossed around her waist.

Frowning a little armaan broached the subject: your work is very interesting! What have you named this piece?(they were standing infront of the first piece he had seen) I really like the way you have blurred the edges so that there is no clear definition to the face or the other features.

Shilpa stared at the sculpture and back at armaan and cleared her throat: it's pain!

Armaan: what?

Shilpa staring at the sculpture: its titled pain!(she walked up to the next piece and stood waiting for armaan when he reached her) this is despair!

Armaan looked at shilpa: your art is very disturbing but very effective! What inspires you?

Shilpa who had been staring at the sculpture shuddered and turned her back to the piece, she looked up at armaan: life!(her face looked even paler than before and quickly excused herself)

Armaan watched her leave and turned back towards the pieces, the one about the pain again drew his gaze and as he looked at it he could make out the head was not thrown back in pain but the female figure hair was being pulled and her mouth was open in a scream of pain.

Armaan stood outside the house and waited for the door to be opened, he again rung the bell and waited but no one answered. He looked around for any sign of the girl he had come to meet, he had tried calling but she was not picking up. So he had found her address and here he stood at her doorstep, frustrated he decided to take a look around the back.

He walked back and came across a backyard but what was surprising was the sight that greeted him. In the center of the yard a figure in overalls with protective boots and gloves stood with a flaming torch welding away at the monstrosity that stood in the middle. The face was also hidden behind the protective shield. He called out: hello! Shilpa!!

But with the welder buzzing away his voice got drowned so he waited and watched her work. She continued to work for 15-20 minutes and then stopped, she put the torch down and stepped back from her work. She took off the protective shield from her face and just stared at the piece, armaan stood behind her and then cleared her throat.

Shilpa whirled around startled, her eyes widened as she looked at him: you!

Armaan inclined his head in acknowledgement and stepped forward making shilpa take a step back. Armaan stopped: I was calling you since morning you were not picking up!

Shilpa glanced at her cell lying on the table nearby and grimaced: what can I do for you Mr. Malik? But first how did you get my address.

Armaan smiled: the manger at the gallery was kind enough to give me your telephone number and address. I'm here b'coz we need to talk! (when shilpa gave him a questioning look) I want your work in my gallery!

Shilpa stared at him and managed one word: why?

Armaan smiled: b'coz its good! It grabs at you! And you can't forget it!

Shilpa frowned: but its suppose to be disturbing! Its marketability is questionable.

Armaan laughed: Shilpa! Why don't you let me worry about it? What are you making right now? (looking at the skeleton that was standing in the middle of the yard)

Shilpa shrugged her shoulders and looked down at her feet: I don't know!

Armaan looked at her with her downcast head and wondered but said: well when you know let me know. So I'll see you at Possibilities tomorrow!

Shilpa looked at him startled: why?

Armaan shook his head: coz you are going to start working on your pieces at the studio space I have for you.(when shilpa continued to look at him doubtfully) why don't we try it for some time if doesn't work for you, you can leave but atleast try it.( he could see objections rise in her eyes) and plz let me worry about selling ok. I do know something about art!

Shilpa looked at him thoughtfully: what time tomorrow?

Armaan: come whenever you are ready!

So that was the start of Shilpa at the Possibilities, she managed to haul her stuff to the studio at the Possibilities and got to work. Armaan saw her come setting up her stuff but decided to stay out of her way. When finally he made his way to her he found her working on the monstrosity she had her place, as if her life depended on it. He left then but checked up after an hour and found her still working. It was close to lunch time when she resurfaced she would've stayed to herself but her reverie was interrupted by Armaan.

Armaan: so you finally came up for some air! Come I'll introduce you around!(before she could refuse he had started walking leaving her with no option but to follow him)

Armaam introduced her to other artists who worked at the studios next to her, everyone was curious and wanted to know about her work.

Shilpa just shrugged her shoulders: I sculpt!

Armaan shook his head as he looked at her standing in the middle of the people who had gathered at the grand exhibition being held at Possibilities. Over the months her reticence hadn't really lessened, though there had been a little thaw but nothing noteworthy. To armaan she was an enigma that he wanted to understand but it was apparent that she didn't want any understanding. Still there were moments when he caught her looking at him but before he could really understand she always looked away.

Shilpa felt closeted, there were too many people around, all were congratulating her or complimenting her work. To say she was surprised was an understatement and she knew whom to give credit to. Armaan had done a fantastic job of showcasing her art, even the most darkest of her pieces were somehow displayed in the positive light.

She stood infront of the piece she had been making when armaan had offered her Possibilities. It had finally emerged as a hand rising out of earth. When she had started making it for her it had depicted drowning, that she was lost but somehow armaan had titled it hope. When she had asked him about it he had replied: he/she is not giving up! Look at the hand reaching up! Its unwilling to let go! So I'll say there is still hope!

Later she was dragged to a party by one of the other artist to celebrate the success they had, once there she had wished she had not come. The place was dark and crowded with people, the music was too loud and one had to actually yell to be heard over the noise. She tried to enjoy, she tried to atleast mingle but slowly the noise, the press of bodies started to nake her claustrophobic. She wanted to get out, the dim lights made her feel insecure as she was not sure who was going to come up to her.

Then the worst thing happened, someone pushed her from behind as she started to fall a pair of hands grabbed at her arms from behind making panic stream through her. She screamed but no one could hear her over the loud music she pushed at the hands and ran. She ran through the throng of humanity to make it outside. Once outside she continued running all she knew she had to get away from the grasping hands. She had no idea when the rain had started to fall but still she ran her breath hitched in her throat her eyes blurred with unshed tears.

She had no idea where she was all she knew was that she needed to run away. She stopped for a second and looked around herself lost.

Armaan was about to enter his apartment building when he looked back and was shocked to see shilpa standing there in the rain.

Not sure what was happening he walked to her getting wet in the rain, he looked at her sodden clothes and ashen face. Her arms were wrapped around her tightly as if holding her self up, her face had no color and her lips were trembling.

Armaan: Shilpa! What are you doing here?

Shilpa looked at him with eyes full of dread and couldn't utter a word.

Armaan: you are getting wet! Do you want me to drop you somewhere?(when she stayed quiet armaan cursed under his breath) ok! Comeon! Lets go in! you can tell me what you want to later!

Shilpa looked at him without a word and then started to shiver uncontrollably. Armaan ushered her towards the building and immediately took her up to his apartment. Once there he directed her towards the bathroom and told her to change into some dry clothes as he himself changed in the other room.

Once changed armaan busied himself preparing some coffee in the kitchen when he heard her come out. When he turned the sight she made almost made him smile, he had given her his sweats to wear which was naturally too large for her but what made his smile vanish was the look in her eyes.

Armaan: shilpa! Do you take sugar in your coffee?

Shilpa looked startled at his question: I don't drink coffee!

Armaan taking two cups and walking into the lounge: well today you are going to! Don't worry I've added sugar so that it doesn't come too strong! Come sit!

Shilpa very hesitantly walked to the couch and sat on it, armaan placed the cup infront of her on the table.

Armaan: the rain today is totally unexpected!(looking at shilpa who just sat there) try the coffee!(he himself took a sip)

Shilpa picked up the cup and took a sip, the hot coffee scalded her tongue and the strong flavor almost made her choke. Immediately armaan was at her side as he started to thump her back, the first touch of his hand on her shilpa leapt out of her skin. She crowded back against the corner of the couch as she wrapped her arms around her self. Too shocked for words armaan just sat there and uttered her name: Shilpa! Are you alright?

Shilpa felt her cheeks burn with shame but she forced the words out: I don't like being touched!

Armaan stilled as he realized the import of her words, he really didn't want to know why, coz he already knew. What else could it be? But he sat their quietly waiting for her to continue.

Shilpa finally managed to lift her gaze and looked at him: are you not going to ask why?

Armaan: only if you want to tell me!(in his heart he prayed no, don't tell me, as it is he felt too drawn towards her)

Shilpa looked relieved: its just I had a panic attack! I was with others at a party and the place was too crowded and too loud.(she closed her eyes and shook her head) it was a mistake to go there.

Armaan: so what happened?

Shilpa was playing with the hem of the sweat shirt she was wearing: someone pushed me and thena pair of hands grabbed me from behind and I ran from there!(she finished in a rush, there was silence in the room when shilpa ventured a look at armaan's face) you must think I'm a nut case.

Armaan: no! I don't! I'm thinking you must have a very good reason to feel the way you feel.

Immediately shilpa withdrew: I'm not going to talk about it!

Armaan: fine! But not talking about it is not going to make it go away!

Shilpa: I can't go back! I can't go back! I will not go back there even in memories!

Armaan looked at her with sad eyes: you never left shilpa!(making her jerk in response) you migt've left the hellhole physically but your mind, your soul is still imprisoned there.

Shilpa paled: how do you know?

Armaan shook his head: I don't know anything shilpa! And I won't know till u tell me yourself but I can always guess.

Shilpa face went completely pale: guess? How can you possibly guess? Did you know that I was married! That the man who was suppose to be my protector against the whole wide world is the cause of my every nightmare. Did you guess that it is b'coz of him that everytime I look at a man I'm scared, I'm scared to be alone in a room with a man.

Armaan: I'm sorry!

Shilpa: why are you sorry? You didn't do anything! It wasn't you who on our 6 month anniversary decided to surprise me with a beating which left me unable to walk for a week. It was not you armaan who never let go of an opportunity to make me feel like a cheap wh**e. It wasn't you armaan….(her breath hitched)….he…

Armaan couldn't bear it: sshhh! Its ok! You don't have to say anything!

Shilpa: but I didn't do anything! It wasn't my fault!

Armaan: it wasn't your fault shilpa! I know!

Shilpa: then why? All I wanted was a happy life! A husband who took care of me! Who loved me! With whom I could grow old!

Armaan: he didn't deserve you shilpa!(when she turned her face away, armaan perched closer but still not touching) listen to me! He was a sick son a of a bitch who should be shot like a rabid dog he is! But it is not your fault! I know it doesn't feel like it now but one day you will heal! Don't close yourself to the world outside, all is not dark there.

Shilpa looked at him with eyes which wanted to believe him, she closed her eyes: I'm so tired!(she whispered as she rested her head back on the couch)

Armaan sat still and watched her fall asleep, poor girl was exhausted but even in sleep she was not at peace as she slept with her arms wrapped around her updrawn knees. His heart twisted in pain as he recalled her words and knew he would die before he let anything bad happen to her. Somehow this girl out of all that he knew had managed to slip through his defences.

He leaned in close and whispered in her ear: don't worry! I won't let anyone hurt you!

In the coming months it had become a calling for Armaan to keep shilpa happy. Everyday he use to bring her candyfloss, somedays it was balloons or other it was lollipops. At first she was confused not sure what all of this meant but slowly she started to look forward to the treats. Once he brought her flowers she couldn't help but smile.

Shilpa: Armaan! Thanks!

Armaan: what for?

Shilpa: the flowers! They were just beautiful!

Armaan smiled: your smile is thanks enough!

Shilpa: Armaan! I never thanked you for listening! For being a friend!

Armaan seriously: is that what we are? Friends?

Shilpa nervously: I would like to think so!

Armaan: then you should know that there is no need of thanks between friends! If you ever want to talk you know I'm here!

Shilpa felt the sting of tears but smiled: don't get angry! But thanks!(she ran from there as armaan gave a mock frown)

As she left her laughter rang out making armaan go still as he muttered to himself: friend? What has the world come to? Now I'm designated being a friend only!(he shook his head but with a smile on his lips he started to whistle)

Shilpa read through the letter a second time not sure she understood the meaning of the words she had just read. Armaan found her like that and asked: hey whats up?

Shilpa looked up at him in daze: I'm not sure!

Frowning armaan took the letter from her and quickly read it a grin coming across his face: I'll be damned! This is fantastic news shilpa!

Shilpa: say it! Say it out loud!

Armaan couldn't help but laugh: you've been invited to display your work in New York's top most art gallery! As they have been following your progress they are hugely impressed by you and want to know when you'll be ready for display.

Shilpa couldn't help herself she screamed: Yes! Yes! Yes!

Armaan held out his hand: congratulations shilpa!

Shilpa leaped into armaan's arms, hugging him with all her might: oh god armaan! This is unbelievable!

Armaan stood there frozen to his spot, not sure whether to put his arms around her or not. Though he really wanted to he didn't but whispered back at her: you deserve it! So believe it!

Shilpa recalled where she was and stepped back with her cheeks flushed: there is so much to do! You'll come with me armaan!

Armaan: sure! If you want!

Shilpa beamed at him almost blinding him with brilliance of her smile: we have to get to work!

Armaan as if in a daze: yes!

Everything was set for their departure to New York when armaan had to stay back for a special meeting. Shilpa was nervous as they made their way to the airport and hardly spoke all the way to the airport. She had been relying on Armaan all this time to be with her that is why she had not felt nervous before this. Now that armaan was not going with her all her nerves came back to life.

Armaan: shilpa! Its only a couple of days! I'm going to join you before the exhibition.

Shilpa rubbed her damp palms against her clothes: I know!

Armaan seriously: Shilpa! This is your life and you should start living it! Stop relying on me or anyone! You are a very strong person shilpa! You don't need me or any one else to tell you this!

Shilpa looked at armaan and felt as if the scales had just fallen off her eyes. She looked at him and realized that he was what she had been looking for all her life a friend a partner. Who was there for her and she realized she had found him without even realizing.

Suddenly there was an announcement for boarding, shilpa looked around startled not sure what to do.

Armaan looked at her pale face and clenched his fist: you are going to be just fine shilpa! So give me that gorgeous smile of your before you head towards the plane.

Shilpa's lips curved tremulously: you'll come soon!

Armaan: wild horse's couldn't keep me away!(his voice filled with emotion)

Shilpa nodded her head and looked at the gate where people where walking through to their way to the plane: I guess I should go too!

Armaan tried smiling: yeah!

Shilpa turned around and took a couple of steps towards the gate and then stopped. She turned back and walked back to armaan, looking into his face: I want some thing…

Armaan not understanding her expressions: what is it? Shilpa?

Shilpa looked at her hands and then at his face: could you hold me?

Armaan stood there not really comprehending what she meant, shilpa looked at his face which reflected his confusion. She blushed and then walking straight up to him wrapped her arms around him. Armaan stood stunned not sure what she expected from him till he heard her whisper the words again: hold me armaan!

Armaan very slowly brought his arms around her so as to not scare her but she only burrowed closer holding on to him tighter. In response armaan held on to her firmer burrowing his face in her fragrant hair. They drew apart both looking at one another as armaan pushed back her hair from her face and whispered: Shilpa!

Shilpa looked at him and held his hand in her's: I'll be waiting for you armaan! Come soon!

Armaan: shilpa? (not sure what he was asking)

Shilpa: I've gotta go! I'll be waiting for you armaan!(she turned and walked towards the gate)

It was the opening night but Armaan hadn't come, shilpa fidgeted with her dress and hair her eyes continuously scanning the faces that had come to see her work. She had been avoiding going out waiting for armaan to come to her but he was not here. Knowing she was acting like a coward she squared her shoulder and walked out to meet the world.

Armaan stood in a corner and watched Shilpa talking to people. He had been here at the gallery since the start but had remained hidden as he had wanted to see her from far. He had wanted her to take another step towards the life that was waiting for her. He saw her talking to people, she still hesitated when there was a crowd but overall she looked as if she was blooming. He waited for her to be away from the crowd and then he found her looking at a piece surprisingly alone.

Shilpa stood infront of a piece that she had created from heart and waited for the person she had created. Armaan stood behind her and looked at the piece it showed hands, a male hand holding a female hand. Somehow the sight made his heart thump and he spoke: so what do you call it?

Shilpa closed her eyes as she heard his voice and then opened them: took you long enough to get here!

Armaan smiled: got held up in stuff! So what do you call it?

Shilpa faced him: Us!

Armaan looked at her face and asked: forever?

Shilpa looked in his eyes and saw a lifetime of tomorrow's filled with love n understanding. Her eyes went damp as she realized all her dreams were within her grasp and whispered back: Forever!

Armaan looked into her shimmering eyes and held out his hand, as shilpa placed her hand in his armaan looked into her eyes and promised her: forever!