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Originally posted by: jazzerette
The hum of the insincere affection kept at bay, she was happy in her haven. It would rain today she was sure throughout the evening and the rains did not dissappoint her instincts.She held her hands out embracing the joy the rains brought to her. Like every drop that touched her being was dancing in jubilation for her. She splashed the drops on her face and smoothened the wetness away to her hairs. She felt cleansed, happy and free.The stuff you've put in the above para makes me feel it's a part of what ur like. Is my gut telling me the truth?One'she held her hand out.Two'his hand rose on its own to reach out to her.Three'he took an unconscious step ahead.The illuminated street gave him away.Her hands froze in her hair mid-way.She knew who it was. Maan.My hear went thud thud THUD!!! Yay he met her!!She retreated from the window, turned around and ran. Ran out of the house straight to where he stood, standing at a closing distance from him.Time stood still. A moment came alive.Those eyes! He should not look into those eyes; he would never be the same again.He turned his back to her. It was not what he had intended. It was not to happen so. She was not to know."You were not to know.""For how long?"Silence."It was you all along. The man who stood here every night, in the dark, in the rain. You, who found that part of me that I threw out, you who endeavored to bring it back to me, who gave a new lease to my dreams. For the past five days...""Six...six days.""I was simply a pre-destined catalyst, else it takes more to find even the simplest of solutions.""And you came, holding the solution in your hands all along. This scholarship," she tried to broach the subject delicately. "I mean did I even deserve...""Yes, you did. I simply suggested to compartmentalize the scheme. It was the Dean who held the power to approve. It was you, who was already capable of being selected, conforming to the pre-requisites. How could I have done anything otherwise?"Silence."I saw in you a spirit same as mine, someone with whom I felt a deep connect with. Another soul who is in want if an opportunity just the way I was once. And if I had the wherewithal to give it, it made no sense not to."She stepped back till her back found support with the opposite pole. Relaxed. Calm.Silence."Six days?""You did not see me the first day I was accidently held up here. And the very next day we bumped into each other at your college.""I was very conscious. It was so embarrassing.""It was mesmerizing."😍Silence."This must be a very uncomfortable place to stand for hours. It has been raining so heavily these days.""I was fine, thank you."A chuckle escaped unaware from her lips. He swung his face back at the sound. His eyes looked upon with wonder. She shut silent seeing his intent gaze. Deep, penetrating yet comforting."I lied to my grandmother every night. I have never lied before. I have never done this before."Silence."Why did you not seek me out?""How was I to do that? My outer-self would have reeked of desperation within."He turned around to face her. "I don't know if you would understand but...""We sometimes encounter people, perfect strangers, who begin to interest us at first sight. I think I do.""'...and somehow suddenly, all at once, before a even word has been spoken, the intrest becomes a passion."She let out a gasp as his words betrayed the depth of his emotions.He averted his gaze from her form. To have her this close was a threat to loose his senses. So much has been disclosed already. There was a risk, rather a lure, to let it all out.And so it was not a surprise when he found himself giving voice to his thoughts."While many people believe in it, most are shocked at the idea of some one falling for a person they have just met. I would be agreeing with skeptics, hardly believing in that sentiment itself. Except for the fact that it has happened to me.""There were times in my earlier days when I would ponder over if the sceanrio ever arose and saw myself rebelling against the very idea. But when I did come to face the same, the idea of rebelling did not seem so appealing. It never even struck as an option."With a thudding heart she she tried to process all that she had just heard. "There is a physical distance too vast between us. And I am yet not ready to part away with my heart from myself." Her voice quivered as she spoke. The man just bared his soul to her and she felt as if she has let him down. "How can I even imagine that we are to form a bond, when I don't even see us as equals? You have been a saviour who rescued me from being just another nameless face in the crowd.""Don't!" he let out with an anguish, as he came forward and grabbed her shoulders. "Do not put me on a pedastal. I am not the man that you mistake me for. I am a hard man with an icy core. I give up on humanity easily. I shun people even more quickly.""No. You haven't lost faith on human nature. You haven't decided to be less compassionate to strangers.""It was not a stranger I was trying to help. And the help was never out of compassion. It was selfish because it made me feel good to know that somwhow an act of mine could bring you happiness." He eased his grasp and stepped away.She reached out and kept a unsure hand on his arm. "I've been helped by acts of kindness from strangers. That's why we're here, after all, to help others. But what you have done for me is more than I could ever anticipate. You have given me so much you can't even imagine.""Would it be shocking to admit I do?" he asked back. "I have seen disillusonment up close and personally. Somehow I sensed in you the same disillusionment I had experienced and the same losses. But, more importantly I sensed that we felt the same about many things.""We are not afraid of chaos and are comfortable talking to strangers. But we like knowing where we are heading. It would always be a path of our choosing."She smiled. She let out her hand to catch the rain that fell. Ice cold yet endearing. He was right, they are two kindered souls. She could pour out her every fear, her every worry, her every dream and could stand reassured that they would be cocooned in his understanding. How was it that a stranger came so close to her innermost confines when her loved ones could not?"I would almost have given up on this dream of mine," she began confessing. It was a blessed felling to know that there stood a person who could empathize with her. "Your efforts to revive my dream gave me hope. But it was those words of yours that gave me strength.""I apologize for the liberty I took'.""Please don't. It was a gesture appreciated by my whole heart. To have someone place so much trust in me, even when my family held it back. That someone else had faith in my beliefs when I lacked it. Someone else held trust in me more than I ever did.And the fact that it was a stranger made me believe that it was an omen sent by God.""Writing is my modus operandi to live amongst strangers, in the sense that there's a certain formality which allows me to sidestep the embarrassment of directly expressing to people around me. To avoid justifying my every action to the society. I want to speak. But not in a place where my voice does not enjoy complete freedom. It's my way of talking to the world.""Strangers still leave me self-conscious. I have built myself a position where I need not speak to them. And even when I do, I do it on my own terms. Atleast you have it in you to speak to them, no matter the method you choose. It takes courage. You showed me this courage."Silence.When he finally spoke his voice was almost resigned. "I am tired of being a coward, atleast where emotions were concerned, and although I was not looking to form a bond when I first saw you, it had somehow happened. I have come to believe my feelings are real and I wanted to find out."👏As her eyes clouded with hesitancy, he was quick to reassure her doubts. "I do not seek an guarantee from you. I do not seek to tie you down. The real thing will happen if you would be able to see that there is a deeper connection between us. Beyond our different circumstances, opportunities or lack thereof. But for that you need to feel complete from inside.""Your dreams are my solace. And its important for me to see that you fulfill them. You are not ready yet, neither do I have it in me to ask anything of you yet. Your heart has yearned for this moment for long. My heart wishes for you to fulfill it.""I only ask you a small corner where I can be a silent observer to your smile. A shadow that trails wherever life takes you. A shade that you seek when the sun becomes to much to bear. Will you allow me that space? Would you be willing to take a chance with me?"Gosh, that is such a hungry plea...come here Maan i'll giv u a hug!It was then the truth hit her. The answers to the questions that had plagued her mind since past few days. She wasn't afraid to discover her feelings at all, somewhere along the line she knew she had formed a connect with this man, this stranger she had just met. She simply was afraid to face him with that knowledge.She came to acknowledge a few things now that she would not have believed till then. One is that opportunity comes when you least expect it and the second is that you can have a bond with someone you have never met in person; and in some cases that bond is strong enough to overcome even your greatest fears.But was this real, the feelings that she sees mirrored in her own heart? He has asked her to fulfill her dreams, regardless of the distance it may put between them. He has kept her goals ahead of his own wishes.Is he for real? (seriously , is he for real??)
It was true. She needed to live her dream first and foremost. If rightly termed, she had given her heart away to the same. To even explore the posibility of having someone else lay a claim to it, she needed to be living in the space she had carved for herself. Right now her living was indebted to her parents and not her own for decide for.He gave her support, silent yet firm, without her having to ask for it. Will he wait patiently in the name of the feelings he has spoken of? Will he wait till she feels she is ready to face the world on her own? Till she has realized this dream that she saw alone, nourished alone, desired to live alone? She looked at him. Her eyes tried to find a solution in his eyes.He tentatively took her hand in his. His eyes sincere, his face held a warm smile. "I will be there. Always around, but at a distance. I will be there. Patience in my heart, persistence in my spirit. I will be there. Just a dream or two behind."****************************************************************
Jazz loved the way his feelings poured out in a torrents. It was so beautiful. I felt like he doesn't even know the words come out in tha manner , but they came out because it was time, because he had to and cuz he couldn't hold them in anymore.
I loved Geet's character - she knows who she is - who she can be, where her duties lie. I loved that
And Loved the kindred bit. And the bit where she knows she needs to come into her own and then get into beginnig her relationship. I so, relate to it.
Jazz--do write more. it's a pleasure reading it!
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