Chapter 7 - With you
Riddhima's eyes opened as the sun seeped through the window, directly onto her face. She closed them again, and turned to the side where she felt something soft and silky tickle her cheeks. Opening her eyes again, she realized she wasn't in her bed! Wait then where the hell..? The events of the previous night came flooding back to her, and sure enough, she was on the sofa. She got up to see Armaan on the floor, his head close to where hers had been. Weren't they both sitting on the sofa together? A slow smile crept up on her face as she thought of what he had done. Her heart yelled at her to get close to him. Very hesitantly, she stretched and let her fingers sift through his beautiful hair that had tickled her moments ago. He shuffled slightly due to the hardness of the ground and immediately, she withdrew her hand. But he did not wake up. Getting up, she checked Sara's pulse rate and in the 3 hours she had slept for, it remained the same. Her family was still sleeping around her. Carefully, she left the room and went to freshen up. She was grateful for the extra pair of clothes she had left in the changing room for emergencies. Soon, she stepped inside the ICU in a red chooridar to see everyone still sleeping.
Sara looked so frail, as though the slightest touch would break her apart. There was nothing much Riddhima could do now so she just stood there, next to Rahul, and continued gazing at Sara. The machine was still beeping, but because of the hustle and bustle outside, the sound seemed drowned. Sara moved her head to the right, and coughed slightly in her sleep. She had been such a wonderful friend. The teenagers Riddhima knew right now were all stroppy and big headed. Obviously, being a teenager herself once upon a time, she knew exactly what it felt like when 'no one understood' you. But she had always put her parents first before everything. And Sara just surpassed everything. She had managed to be her growing brother's best friend, her dad's ideal daughter, and her mother's first confidante. If she was loved and needed so much, why was He taking her away from them? Despite everything, Sara still had the perfect attitude around her. She smiled at every obstacle, laughed when she fell, and picked herself up to continue living. Yet here she was, so helpless. Riddhima's heart went out to her, seeing her in this condition. Suddenly, she felt a figure stand beside her and when she looked, sure enough, it was Armaan.
"Kab uthe?" she asked in a whisper so as to not disturb the others.
"Bas abhi.." he replied. He was so close to her and she had this sudden urge to hug him. But..what would he think? That she was taking her chances? Her green eyes met his, and they had the same assurance they did a few hours ago. He would always be with her.
"I'll be back." He whispered and left from there. The awkwardness, but the familiarity between them was so..weird, she thought to herself. They had never been like that. They either had zero awkwardness between them, or had all of it together since he came back. Now, it was like 50-50 and she was not familiar with it at all. But this was not the time to worry about that. Her attention went back to Sara, then at the clock. It was around 7:30, and the sun was already out.
"Riddhima, you must be hungry, let's go to the canteen." Armaan whispered as soon as he came back. She shook her head. She did not want to leave Sara's side.
"Riddhima, zidd matt karo. You need something inside you."
"I'm fine Armaan. Anyways, Sara needs a doctor with her, incase anything happens." Armaan sighed. Riddhima wouldn't budge! He smiled lightly.. of course, his basket was way too stubborn! Fine. He stepped out to go to the canteen himself, thinking of bringing some food back with him, when he nearly bumped into Dr Shashank.
"Careful, Dr Armaan." Shashank told him.
"Sorry sir. Uhhh..Good morning Sir." Armaan greeted him.
"Good morning. Riddhima andar hai kya?"
Armaan nodded in reply.
"Good, kyunki Padma ne uske liye naashta bheja hai. So if you excuse me."
"Uhhmm..sir, I could take it.. for her I mean." Armaan intervened and Shashank frowned slightly, making Armaan gulp in fear. Those brows should never crease! Armaan thought to himself. They looked fatal!
"Can't I meet my daughter, Doctor Armaan?"
"Of course you can..I'm sorry..sir..I just thought..you know to save you..trouble.."
"It's not trouble Dr Armaan. Now please excuse me." Shashank said in a stern voice and Armaan immediately stepped aside. This man may eventually kill him one day! Either through a heart attack, or those deadly eyes of his! Instead of going to the canteen, Armaan went back and stood at the door watching Riddhima hugging her dad. Shashank stroked his daughter's hair, whispering encouraging words to her. He smiled at the scene in front of him. Riddhima was loved by everyone so much. Then why was he so special to her?
Shashank left and Armaan came up to Riddhima.
"You're back already?" she asked surprised.
"I never went.."
"Doctor, abh kaisi hai Sara?" Rahul asked interrupting them. They hadn't realized when he had woken up.
"Voh..uhmm.." Riddhima found it hard to reply.
"Heyy Buddy, you want some breakfast?" Armaan asked suddenly.
"Don't try to change the topic. Just tell me, Sara kaisi hai."
"Rahul..she's uhmmm.. voh.."
"She's not improved has she?" Rahul asked, tears threatening their entrance. At the sound of voices, his parents woke up as well, questioning Riddhima and Armaan about Sara.
"I'm really sorry.." Riddhima replied, feeling her heart drop down by a mile. It's the best we can do.
"Heyy, aap sab kyun meri best friend ko rula rahe ho?" a weak voice whispered, and everyone's head snapped to look at Sara.
"Sara, how are you feeling? Tumhe kuch chahiye?..." They all said at once, while Riddhima remained silent and looked at the machine. She looked up at Armaan as she felt a lump fill her throat and he shook his head, indicating her to be strong.
"Time kya hai?" Sara asked, weakly. The tubes and needles on her body were making her feel worse by the moment.
"It's 8 o'clock. Time for your breakfast!" Armaan replied, in a cheerful way, and called a nurse to send in some food. Soon, the nurse came in and Armaan asked her to inform Dr Keerti about their whereabouts.
"Sara beta, yeh lo. Phir jald se jald theek hona hai.." her mother fussed, wiping her tears.
"Mummy, jhoot kyun bolti ho? Waise aapne khaya?"
"Who hum baad mein kha lenge.."
"Aap sab nahin khaoge toh mera mann kaise karega khaane ko?"
"Aunty, Sara is right. Kya main aap logon ke liye kuch bhi canteen se lasakta hoon? Varna usne zidd bhi Riddhima se seekhi hai." Armaan tried lightening the atmosphere, and managed to bring a smile on Sara's face, which then lightened the hearts of the others around.
"Waise canteen ka khaana ganda hota hai. So, aap yeh aloo ke parathe kha leejiye." Riddhima smiled and offered her own breakfast to them. The family was touched by the concern shown and gladly accepted the proper food Riddhima provided them with. Sara also smiled and took a few spoons of the nutritional soup sent for her. But immediately, she coughed and vomited it all out in a basin next to her. Seeing her like this brought more tears to everyone's eyes and Riddhima immediately turned to hide herself in Armaan's chest again.
Sara looked around sadly at everyone's forlorn face.
"Dr Armaan, aapne voh kaam kiya?" she asked while Armaan nodded. Her eyes shone suddenly. "Rahul, mere bedside drawer main ek envelope hai. Yeh tum kal, ya Dr Armaan ke kehne par khol lena please."
"Kal kyun? Abh kyun nahin." Rahul asked in a teary voice.
"Aaj toh badi behen ka kehna maan sawal pooche baigar." Rahul nodded, and held her fragile hand, squeezing it. He looked up at Armaan, who was still hugging Riddhima, with questioning eyes. Armaan assured him to do exactly what he had agreed to.
"Envelope ke saath tumhaara birthday gift bhi hai." The talking was taking up a lot of Sara's energy, and Armaan reprimanded her.
"Abh bohot boldiya. Baaki main usse kehdunga. Humesha chappar chappar karti rehti ho. Issilye toh Riddhima ro rahi hai!" he joked and Sara smiled. Riddhima hugged Armaan tighter. She wouldn't mind listening to Sara's blabber for the rest of her life, as long as Sara lived! Rahul went over to where his parents were, hugged them both. Everyone was on the verge of breaking down.
"Sara, how are you feeling?" Dr Shubankar smiled as he entered the room.
"I could do a million exercises. If these tubes and needles didn't make me feel so useless." She answered.
"Enough Sara, Abh se bolna band karo. Taking up unnecessary energy!" Riddhima scolded her as she came out of Armaan embrace.
"Sorry.." Sara smiled. Everyone just watched her and within moments, her eyes closed and the sound of her steady breathing was heard. The machine continued beeping.
"Riddhima tum kuch khaogi?"
"No Armaan I'm fine."
"Dekho, Dr Shubankar is here, you don't need to worry. Have something to eat!"
"No Armaan..seriously.." she tried to protest but Armaan dragged her out anyway.
"Kha le!" He put a sandwich in front of her. "It'll only take 10 minutes."
She looked across at him, as he bit into his own sandwich. He was so caring! He was so adorable! He was so amazing! And there was a time he was all hers. But now..now she had to share him. As a friend. The mere thought just wiped the smile straight off her face. She started stuffing the food down her throat for the sake of eating. Her appetite had not been with her for ages.
"Hii Ridzy!! Ooopss..sorry," Muskaan finished in a whisper as Ridzy pointed to Sara lying on the bed. "Aaj meri aur Rahul ki court marriage hai."
"Congrats," Riddhima whispered.
"Will you be able to make it?" Rahul whispered. Riddhima shook her head sadly. Sara right now needed her. And she was not going anywhere leaving her alone. The rest of the gang came to see Sara as well while she was sleeping, taking time off their duties. However, no one was as frequent a visitor as Armaan. Riddhima had specially requested to take a day off and just look after Sara.
During lunch break, Armaan came to see Riddhima sitting beside Sara, and talking animatedly with her parents. He entered the room and sat beside her.
"Oh, so you finally came. Main inn sab ke chappar chappar se thak gayyi thi." Sara suddenly whispered, amazing them.
"Issiliye toh main bhaag gayya duty karne ke liye!"
"Armaan!" Riddhima reprimanded him.
"Aap sab ne lunch kiya?" Armaan asked her family, who looked down.
"Voh beta, koi bhi ghar nahin gaya. Hume Sara ke saath baithna hai.." Her father tried to explain, as his brows creased.
For a man who had only a few white hair on his head, his daughter's condition seemed to have aged him more. Their family was in the working class group, and Armaan could tell that Sara's mother also worked to increase their family's income. Her Sari suggested a well dressed and presented lady showing simplicity and a dedicated attitude to everything that mattered. Despite that, both looked shattered and drained from the events occurring in their lives. Rahul, on the other hand, rarely talked. According to Sara, he was a complete prankster failing in all his subjects except when it came to flirting. But now, he looked as though the will in him to live freely was gone.
"No problem, main abhi aap keliye khaana ghar se lata hoon."
He left as they all smiled at him. He was such a sweetheart, Riddhima thought to herself. Just not her sweetheart anymore. Sara seemed weaker than ever now. She was under constant drips to get some sugar into her blood stream, as her body refused anything that entered through her mouth. Riddhima saw how Sara was desperate to get out of this situation. Her regular hoarse coughing and teary eyes made Riddhima lose more hope by the minute as the fact stared at her in the face. Sara's condition was not improving. And maybe Sara had been right.
Flashback (2 months back)
"Ridzy, what would you do if you really like a person lekin you can't be with them?" Sara asked tactfully and Riddhima smiled.
"If you're referring to my love story then.. nothing."
"Nahin yaar. Waise, I'm sure Dr Armaan abhi bhi aapko bohot pasand kartein hai."
"Sara, main yahaan meri personal life ki baat karne nahin aayi hoon. Waise bhi, it's already dead." Riddhima reprimanded her.
"Har baat mein kuch toh personal hota hai. Anyways, jab main school mein thi, a few months back, I had a best friend."
Riddhima remained silent and let her continue.
"Before we shifted to Mumbai for my treatment, we were in Pune. I had a best friend there. Many people told me, that a girl and guy can't be best friends."
"What rubbish, of course they can!" Riddhima replied, thinking of Rohit.
"That's what I said. But it turned out that after a while, he liked me." Riddhima smiled, but refrained herself from teasing Sara. After all, she had been through something similar.
"So, when I found out, main bohot gussa huwi. Because only my family knew about my condition. So I told him outright that I didn't like him and never would. And at this age, all guys are jerks anyway. I did the right thing, right?" Sara looked up for advice. Riddhima sighed, remembering her time with Armaan in college.
"Haan, most guys are. But that doesn't mean all of them are. When I was your age, slightly older, mera dost tha, Rohit. He also liked me, lekin main usse uss tareeke se kabhi dekh nahin paayi. I was told to give him a chance, and my feelings would develop into love. Lekin if there were no feelings, no spark in the first place, how would they develop?" Sara nodded. "That was my belief. Did you have anything for your friend?"
"Shayad. I don't know. Maybe I did, but it all seemed pointless anyway. If anything did develop, he would be the one hurt at the end." Sara replied thoughtfully.
"And why is that?" The next answer that came from Sara was to the point, blunt and left Riddhima in temporary shock that Sara already knew so much.
"Because I'm going to die anyway right?"
Flashback ends
She came out of her thoughts as she heard the clattering of spoons and dishes. Armaan was back. Wow, Already? Well it had been half an hour since he left, and since then she had been lost in her thoughts.
"Riddhima, and this is for you." He placed a plate of homemade, toasted sandwich before her that he made himself, with a galaxy next to it. She took one look at it and was touched by the amount of care that was in his eyes. However, she shook her head, saying she wasn't hungry. He could see dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep already and how tired she was but forcing herself to stay awake.
"Have a bit." He pursued.
"No Armaan, I'm fine."
"Riddhima.."
"Seriously Armaan!" He squatted down next to her and took hold of her hands, caressing them, after placing the plate aside.
"Not eating won't benefit anyone. Please, have something." His blue eyes found their way into her green ones. "For me?" He whispered. She could see the anxiety in his eyes for her and found herself nodding silently and giving in to his pleas. He smiled and leaned forward to kiss her cheeks once as she closed her eyes at that touch. He gave her her plate then proceeded towards his own.
"So finally, kisiko akal aagayyi?" Sara asked in a whisper. Riddhima looked at her confused. "Dr Armaan ki baat kar rahi hoon."
"Achcha madam. Pehle tu jaldi se theek hoja, phir tujhe dekhta hoon." Armaan replied.
"Anyways, I'm happy for you both." Sara smiled and Riddhima wondered what Sara was talking about. Anyways, now wasn't the time to dwell on it.
They all finished their lunch, and Riddhima continued checking Sara's pulse. It was there, but very weak. The machine was still beeping, indicating it was doing its job. But for how long? Riddhima wondered. She went to wash her face in the bathroom attached.
"Have you said it?" Sara asked Armaan, who shook his head.
"Do it soon."
"Hey, Rahul. Tu kyun itna chup hai?"
"Tum bohot bol rahi ho na, issliye." Rahul replied, a tear falling down, as Sara smiled. She looked at Armaan again. Riddhima came out to hear her telling Armaan,
"I always had faith in you two."
She stood beside Armaan watching Sara, who finally closed her eyes. The intervals of the beeping on the machine grew longer, and Riddhima's heart beat quickened in panic as she looked at Sara's shut eyes and monitored her breathing visually. Armaan checked the machine, as he ordered Sara's family to go out. They obeyed, taking a final look at their daughter. He quickly paged Dr Shubankar, who arrived immediately to see Riddhima and Armaan trying cardiopulmonary resuscitation, to get her heart beating again. Riddhima's own heart was beating at an alarming rate as she looked at Sara's pale face. No, this couldn't be. They had to keep trying! It seemed of no use however, as the machine finally became silent. Shubhankar opened Sara's eyes, and checked for her pulse through the wrist. Riddhima checked her breathing. Nothing. She held the stethoscope to Sara's chest and listened intently. Nothing.
"Sara.." Riddhima whispered her voice breaking, as she tried pumping her heart again. "Armaan help me!" But instead, Armaan silently priced her hands away from Sara and held them in his own. "Armaan, Sara can't..She can't.." Riddhima moved back to Sara's bed to try again, however, Armaan took her in his arms from her back. She refused to believe her own sight. No way. This could not be! There had to be some way out! Anything! And she would keep trying till Sara's heart started beating again.
"We can't give up Armaan! Just one last try.." She nearly screamed at him, still struggling to get out of his hold. Her eyes flew to Shubhankar standing there solemnly and switching off the machine, detaching her from the tubes etc.
"Dr Shubhankar, not so soon, we need to give it another try..please!!"
"Riddhima there's nothing we can do."
"We haven't tried enough! Armaan let me go!" But Armaan turned her around and his grip tightened on her, as one hand was round her waist and the other on her back, pulling her closer to himself. Shubhankar spoke next in a calm and soothing tone.
"Dr Riddhima. Please control yourself. She's no more."
The last sentence rung in her head as she gave up struggling. "She's no more." She looked up at Armaan for the confirmation, and his shining, tear filled eyes made her heart sink down lower, as she realized the truth. He shook his head and she closed her eyes, hiding her face in his neck as she let the dams break. He just pulled her tighter into himself while he felt one tear slide down his own cheek.
Shubhankar looked on at them without saying a word. This was definitely love. But he was in no position to tell anyone anything. How could he? Riddhima needed support right now, and Armaan was here for her. And so what if they loved each other? He loved Keerti didn't he? But did Dr Shashank know? Heck, they were adults. They knew what they were doing. He would not interfere in anything. He looked once more at Sara's lifeless body and, out of instinct, pulled up the cover himself up to her chin. Slowly, he made his way out, to say those dreaded words which he had said so many times in his career, but not gotten used to. Heck that was the worst part about being a Doctor.
Riddhima clutched the back of Armaan's shirt. She refused to open her eyes. Once again, he felt her shudder in his hold, and more tears slide down his neck. He put his hand in her hair, trying to calm her down. The lump in her throat refused to leave, and the flow of water from her eyes refused to subside. They had lost her. The most precious person Riddhima had ever met and gotten to know was lost. Why? She just tightened her grip on Armaan as though he was her solace. Her refuge from all the bad things in the world. He was her sanctuary, where she could cry her soul out, and no one or nothing would be able to touch her. And indeed, with his arms around her, it was nothing short of that. Armaan had not even in his wildest dreams thought that Riddhima and Sara would get this close. And losing someone like that would definitely break her, tear her apart. But she needed someone to keep herself together, then if that was his job, he didn't mind. He would be there forever. Just for her.
Anjali had been supervising Armaan for duty, and he was now half an hour late! What the hell. He had gone to check up on Sara hadn't he? She came to the ICU just in time to hear Shubhankar giving the bad news to Sara's family, outside. This was Riddhima's first case where a patient had not pulled through! Anjali remembered the feeling of that well, and being a tough person, she had handled it. But knowing Riddhima, she might not be able to bear the pain! Especially considering how close Sara was to her! She fled inside the room only to stop at the door to see her baby sister being cared for very carefully, by none other than Armaan! She looked to the side, where Sara's family had just entered the room, and were falling apart at their loss. Despite the situation, Anjali felt her heart lift very slightly. She did not need to worry about Riddhima any more. Someone else was here to take care of her.
Riddhima saw Sara's family sobbing over her body, and her grief heightened as she held on to Armaan. Seeing her break down like this in front of him ripped his heart into tiny pieces. He couldn't see her like that anymore! Gently, he tried pulling her apart so he could talk to her, but she wouldn't let go. So instead he just held her to himself again, shielding her from everything, trying to absorb all her pain into himself.
"Beti, tum bohot ladti thi Rahul ke saath. Aaj kya huwa?" They heard Sara's dad sobbing. This brought Riddhima into the real world. She looked up at Armaan tears pouring out of her eyes. He framed her face as he pulled it close to his own.
"Riddhima, himmat rakho.." she shook her head. "Riddhima you have to face it. It's reality. Yes it's cruel. But you can do this right? Apne aap ko sambhal sakti ho na? They need you. You were her doctor." She looked into his eyes and nodded as he nodded with her.
Armaan wiped away the rare tears that came out of his eyes as he let Riddhima go to Sara's parents.
"Rahul, please come outside with me." Reluctantly, Rahul followed him, staring constantly at his sister's closed eyes. She looked like she was sleeping peacefully. He was so sure that if he threw water on her, like he used to, she would wake up at scream at him! But his mind had registered the fact that this was impossible. So the only water that was present was in the form of tears dripping from his eyes.
"Look Buddy, I probably have no idea what you're going through. But sometimes in life, things happen that are beyond our control."
"If this is the 'be strong', 'be brave' lecture then I suggest you cut it.." Rahul replied rudely.
"Wrong on both accounts. I just told you I have no idea what you're going through. Then how can I advise you how to react? Plus it's not a lecture. I wanted to tell you there's a letter for you in the envelope Sara left behind. Do you want me to bring it?"
"Nahin main jaata hoon."
Pretty soon he came back with a wrapped box, no doubt his best chocolates, and was opening the envelope, wondering why it feeling heavier than paper. Emptying the contents, he found a piece of paper inside it, and a locket. It brought tears to his eyes again.
"I'd much rather have her than this locket.." he whispered as Armaan looked on, wondering why a 12 year old had to face all this. Rahul caressed the Happy Birthday written on the envelope, opened up the letter and read silently.
Rahul,
Oyyy..itna rona band kar! Sehat ke liye accha nahin hota. I should know..!! ;) Heyy, you know when we were young, I always wondered why Mummy and Daddy would prefer you over me. Even though you were the naughty one. You were the one who didn't bring good grades. You were the one who was always in trouble! But they always favoured you. Hmph! I used to wish to be more like you. But either way, I was who I was. And now I look back, I guess it's much better that you were their favourite one. And no regrets at all.
In fact, this is slightly more important. And no I'm not going to talk about concentration in studies and all. Because that is very materialistic and very clich. You'll work when you want to. This is about our family. I know that chances of my survival are minimal. Hence I just want to say one thing. You're responsible enough now. Please look after Mum, Dad and yourself. Don't make them miss me too much. Waise miss toh sab karenge, after all I am one of a kind!
I'm not sure of what else to say. Just that, you were always my baby brother and no matter how much I sometimes hated and fought with you, I've always loved you! I can't believe for once I'm speechless. Oh, by the way, further flirting will just result in a really bad bahu for Mum! So cut that down! I don't need to tell you but do remember my 'I told you so' when years later you get married to Shivani! Yes I know you hate her, but mark my words. Oh, and a French beard is really not THAT sexy as you think it is! So when you start shaving, don't you dare keep it! Plus, try and reduce the amount of gel you use daily, you'll find you have a lot more pocket money left over! As for that crap you've started eating called Manikchand, and forced me to keep a secret from Mummy and Daddy, if you don't stop, I think I'll be expecting to see you up there soon, aur abhi abhi tujhse chutkara milega, please don't bother me so soon! ;)
Plus, I know you probably forgot, I did too, but remember when we used to be home alone, and watch movies on end, then imitate the characters? Those days were probably the best days of my life. But don't make them yours, because you have your whole life to live. Oh, and you used to pester me to make you popcorn, aur agar main manna karti thi toh do din tak mujhse baat nahin karte they! Writing all that down brings tears to my eyes, but I know one thing, we'll both treasure these memories till our last breath, even though we may seemed to have forgotten them.
Itna chirti thi tumhaari constant teasing se, but in the hospital, I realized how much I missed it. Don't forget to look after Mum and Dad. I trust you.
Love you always xxx,
Sara
P.S. The locket is for you since you loved it. And I have a feeling you'll treasure it more than I did!
Rahul gripped the letter in his hand, wishing it never ended. The slight smiles when he neared the end off the letter were wiped off after the last sentence. He could continue reading it on and on! It almost felt as though his sister was beside him! Armaan saw him break down and his first step was to console him. "Rahul.." he put his hand on his shoulder.
"Why did she leave us?" he whispered.
"Rahul look inside." And indeed, Rahul did. He could see how broken his family was on the death of his sister. "You have to look after them. Sara left you with that responsibility. Now either you run away from the truth or you accept it and help your parents get through it all." Rahul was listening intently to every word Armaan was saying. "And Sara would not want you to stop living life would she?" Rahul shook his head and suddenly hugged Armaan.
"Thank you for helping..so much."
"Heyy..maine aisa kuch nahin kiya..Sara was a special person. She will always be close to everyone."
He nodded.
"Your parents need you." Rahul left and went back inside the ICU after thanking Riddhima, who had been standing at the door the whole time, watching the interaction.
Armaan looked at the family from the window. They needed each other for support. He closed his eyes, thanking the Almighty that he had never been through any of this, and if he did, he would get the strength to get through it. Compared to others in this world, his life had been a bed of roses! He felt someone stand next to him and looked to see Riddhima.
"He's a strong person." Armaan said looking back at Rahul. Riddhima nodded.
"Thanks to you." She whispered back.
"I didn't do anything."
She shut her eyes, and wondered how Armaan found his way into everyone's heart. He was the epitome of perfection. Except when he took decisions impulsively, her mind argued back. But so what? Why even did she blame Sasha for trying to get him? She probably would have done the same. Wait, wasn't there a time she was in Sasha's position. She went back more than 5 years ago. Remembering how smitten she was by him, she shook her head and a small smile escaped from her lips. It also made her think of Rohit. She should really get on her facebook account and see what he was up to! When was the last time she had remembered Rohit? When Sara was talking about HER best friend. Did that guy know what happened to her? Did he even care after she rejected him? Did he know she was..no more? Accepting this reality brought more tears to her eyes. Armaan turned to look at her and his hand found hers. Slowly, he led her to the bench outside, and made her sit down as he also sat down beside her. She put her head on his shoulder and her tears subsided. Pretty soon, the presence of each other was comforting enough for both of them as none said a word.
The door opened bringing both out of their thoughts, as Sara's family came out led by Rahul. Riddhima sat up straight, and Rahul's father spoke to them.
"Aap dono ne humaare liye itna kuch kiya. Thank you. Yeh ehsaan hum kabhi nahin bhulenege"
"Ehsaan nahin hai, Uncle. Sara humaari bhi dost thi." Riddhima replied interrupting him.
"Thank you so much.." Rahul added his eyes showing tones of gratitude to Armaan especially. They left, But Sara's mother stayed behind. Her hair was messed up, and the loss of her only daughter had aged her by 20 years.
"Aap dono ka kaise shukriya karoon, mujhe nahin pata. Lekin main Khuda se duwa karungi ki aap dono ki jodi humesha salaamat rakhe." Riddhima turned to Armaan, as those words sunk inside her head. He looked back at her, but before they could correct her, she had left to catch up with her husband.
They had seen the support Armaan provided Riddhima with, and despite seeing no signs of marriage between them, it was likely they were together in some way or another. While Rahul didn't care and didn't bother asking, his parents thought they were probably engaged. But right now was not the time to clear misconceptions. The nurses came and wheeled Sara out, this time covering her whole body, including her face. Before Riddhima saw this, however, Armaan took her away. It was close to 5 and Armaan wondered how time had flown. Shit he hadn't even reported to duty again after lunch! If Keerti found out, he was in for some major trouble. Why didn't Anjali look for him and tell him?
"Armaan mujhe Papa ko milna hai."
"Accha..how are you going home?"
"Voh, I don't want to drive, so I'll give Papa the car keys, and I'll find my way home." Maybe she would walk, she thought to herself. It would clear her mind.
"When you finish wait at the entrance, main aata hoon."
"No Armaan..I'll be fine.."
"I told you! Wait at the entrance!" Armaan's tone had finality in it and Riddhima was too drained to argue back. She nodded obediently.
If he wasn't screwed, he could drop her home. But right now he had to meet Anjali. He saw her in hers and Atul's cabin.
"Hi Anjy. Sorry voh main duty pe.." but she interrupted him with,
"Ridzy kaisi hai?"
"I'm so sorry, voh Sara did not pull through.."
"Armaan mere sawal ka jawaab do." She asked cuttingly.
"She's fine now."
"Good." She suddenly smiled. "I thought she would need someone after I heard about Sara's..uhmmm..you know..after I heard that she couldn't make it.." Anjali faltered in her sentence. "So when I saw you there for her, I just covered up for you. Waise abh kahan hai?"
"Thank you. She wants to go home, and she's given the car keys to Dr Shashank."
"Phir voh ghar kaise jaayegi?" Anjali continued, her brows furrowing. "Armaan, please can you drop her. Kyunki Atul and I have some more work here."
"Lekin duty.."
"Oye, aadhi duty toh bunk kardi! Anyway, duty time is over isn't it? Please drop Riddhima home. And driving in this condition isn't good for her either. I'll go and see her tonight."
Armaan smiled back. He really didn't mind dropping her home. Anyways, it had become a habit he hadn't let go of. Dropping her home after work. He was about to go when Anjali spoke.
"Thanks Armaan. For being there for her and helping her.." but Armaan was sick of all this gratitude he was getting for no reason.
"Anjali, maine koi ehsaan nahin kiya kissi par. I did what I wanted to. I left all those patients in the general ward, who also needed me, just to be with Riddhima because I wanted to! Not because I'm doing an extra favour for someone or I was being kind. I was with her because she needed someone and I couldn't leave her alone at a time like this! I don't know if she needed me, but I didn't do it coz I'm expecting something in return. Seeing her like that just made me forget everything. I mean I love her and will always do!" After his small rant, he looked up at Anjali to see her smiling at him.
"Aagyi na akal track pe?"
Unknowingly, he blushed as he realized what he had just said.
"Voh.. I'm sorry..It's been a long day and.."
"I know. Go drop your 'basket' home!" Still smiling, Anjali got out of the cabin, leaving Armaan blushing to himself.
"Let's go//" Armaan said as he took out the car keys when he met Riddhima at the entrance of the hospital.
"Armaan, tumhe duty resume nahin karni?"
"Madam, It's 5. Duty time's over!"
She smiled to see this old spark back in Armaan. Silently, she went to the underground car park with Armaan right next to her.
"Armaan mujhe ghar nahin jaana." She whispered as they got into the car.
"Toh kahaan jaana hai?"
"I don't know kahin bhi."
He looked at his watch, nodded and drove on. He could ask Sid to cover the first half of his duty till 8 then he would take over for the rest of the night, leaving Sid to go home early. Poor guy, he deserved that. When Riddhima got out, she realized he had brought her to the park. Any place was better than home right now. She waited at the entrance for him while he talked on the phone inside the car. They then casually strolled on the footpath letting the breeze caress their faces and enjoying the serenity that surrounded them.
"Armaan.." he looked at her. "Her family will be alright na?" she asked him slightly hesitantly.
"Of course they will," he assured her. "They've got to move on."
Riddhima pictured Anjali in Sara's place. No way! She cut the image out of her mind. She didn't know if she could be as strong as Rahul had been.
"Shayad.." she muttered and sat on the swing they were close to.
Leaning against the rope, she thought back to the events. Sleep was taking over, but somehow, the thought of going home right now wasn't too appealing. In fact, she wanted to be with Armaan. That Armaan who was always there for her. Her impulsive, bhuddu Armaan whom she loved so much but couldn't claim. Why couldn't she? Did he really love her? She wondered. If he did, why hadn't he said it? She looked across at him, sitting on the grass. If she went over and sat next to him, would it seem too desperate? Her answer was affirmative. So she remained seated on the swing, closing her eyes.
Armaan took a glance at her as he sat down on the grass. He hated seeing her like this; so lost in herself all the time. He wished he could tell her how much he loved her! Just crush her in his arms! But the time had to be right and right now was not the time. True, they were alone however the events that occurred during the day just didn't fit in with his confession. His confession that he still loved her. Immensely! Just the thought brought a smile on his face. He took another glance at her and saw that she had closed her eyes and was resting her head on her hand that was gripping the rope. Getting up, he went closer to her. She looked so peaceful, so cute, so utterly divine! Gently, he blew her fringes that were hanging over her face.
At the touch of his breath on her face, she opened her eyes slowly. She hadn't actually slept off at all. Her greens met with his blues, and she felt like losing herself again. He was so close to her, she noticed! She could lean in very slightly and her lips would be on his! That touch she had craved for since ages! Predictably, she felt his hand slide around her waist pulling her to a standing position. Still staring into his eyes, she felt his hand touch her chin then caress her cheeks. Though his face was inches away from hers, she could see him coming closer and felt herself freeze. Armaan had lost complete control over himself. All he could feel was his heart burning to get closer to her. It was demanding to feel her soft lips again. It was pleading for that touch of hers so much that it was impossible to think of anything else. He wanted to convey his deepest feelings to her. How much he still adored her! Time had stopped for both of them. Looking into his desirable eyes and seeing the passion inflamed in there, made her lose all her senses. His lips were barely a centimeter away from hers, and his ragged, warm breath on them set her heart racing a hundred times faster, making her feel like she was on fire!
"Didi.." a tug at her dupatta and a small voice brought them both to the real world. Armaan immediately let go of her and looked down to see a young boy, with a rounded face and huge brown eyes, occupying the swing that Riddhima was on before. Her face flushed red, having been caught by a kid. Armaan felt his lips tug at the ends after seeing Riddhima's face change colour.
"Didi..will you pleash push me?" the boy asked, unaware of what he had disrupted. Armaan couldn't really blame him. But damn, what if he had come five minutes later? This boy completely ruined their moment! Darn! Riddhima however, smiled down at the young fellow.
"Of course I'll push you. Tumhaara naam kya hai?" she asked, as she moved to the back, ignoring Armaan.
"Aditya Anand." The boy replied, waiting for her to push him.
"Heyy champ. You seem like a big boy. How old are you?" Armaan asked.
"4.." the boy answered back happily as he felt Riddhima pushing him slowly. Small dimples appeared on his cheeks as he smiled, feeling the wind rush through his straight hair.
"You are big!" Armaan replied in an impressed tone.
"Main Big Boy hoon! Papa ka shupalman!" This made both of them smile as they glanced at each other. However the scene 5 minutes ago played in their head and both looked away, utterly embarrassed.
"So Superman. Papa kahaan hai?" Riddhima replied.
"Mumma ke paash."
"Aur Mumma?"
"Piya ke paash."
Riddhima was about to ask who Piya was, when they heard a worried female voice calling.
"Aditya! Adi beta..kahaan ho tum?" A male voice joined in,
"Adi! Papa ke paas nahin aaoge kya?"
Armaan went to find the source of the voice, and soon came back with a woman carrying another baby girl, of no more than 2, and a man beside her.
"Thank God! Adi..maine kahaa na main tumhe le aungi swings pe. Phir khud kyun chala aaya?" The woman sighed as she hugged her son on the swing Riddhima had stopped. Aditya's father was thanking Armaan and Riddhima.
"Sholly.." Aditya looked up with rounded eyes at his parents.
"Thank you so much. Humaari toh jaan nikal gayyi thi!" The woman looked at Riddhima who assured them that it was a pleasure meeting such a sweet kid!
"By the way, I'm Priya Anand."
"And I'm Dev Anand."
"THE Dev Anand?" Armaan replied, with a teasing glint in his eye and voice.
"You caught me!" and they all laughed.
"I'm Armaan.."
"And I'm Riddhima.."
The couple looked like they were in their early 30s and clearly in love. After the introduction, Aditya, who was bored of the swings, saw ice cream and demanded for that.
"Fine..chalo. Lekin iske baad no badmaashi!" His dad sighed. "Hope to see you around. Good day.."
"Same here.." Riddhima and Armaan replied.
They saw Aditya running back up to them and hugged Riddhima first around her legs then Armaan, astonishing them to the core.
"Thank youu.." he said, in such an adorable voice, then ran away to his father.
"He's already fond of you! I'm sure you'd make great parents." Priya advised, smiling, before she caught up with her son and husband. Riddhima stared at her, then at Armaan. That was the second time in one day they were thought of as a couple! Feeling her cheeks burn very slightly, she whispered,
"We should get going." Armaan nodded in reply and smiled to himself. He squint his eyes then looked to the side at Riddhima, whose gaze was still fixed on the floor. He loved her so much!
"Chalo.." he said. Riddhima moved forward as did Armaan and both nearly bumped into each other. She moved back while he indicated for her go then caught up with her after she'd taken a couple of steps ahead. Side by side, with the back of their hands occasionally brushing each others', they both headed off together with the sun setting behind them, indicating an end to an emotionally turbulent day.
"Riddhima..Ridzy..!!" Anjali was calling her, and she came out of her thoughts. She had resumed work the next day, but whenever she passed by Sara's ward, 105, it seemed so..empty..lifeless! Even though she could see nurses clearing everything up ready for a new patient, it still didn't seem right.
"Haan di," she asked, forcing herself to turn away from the room.
"Kahan khoyi huwi hai tu? We're all so worried for you. Dekh, everything will be fine after a while, I promise. I've been through it." Riddhima smiled at Anjali.
"Jee.." she replied half heartedly.
"Let's have a small coffee break in my office." Anjali suggested, and steered her away from there by her shoulders. Riddhima sighed as she looked at the ward one last time, before following where Anjy was leading her.
"So..what's happening?" Anjli asked, sipping some coffee, after pushing some paper work aside. Riddhima frowned slightly as she smiled back.
"You know what's happening..Muskaan and Rahul just got married and they're actually moving in! Do Rahul's parents know??!"
"Obviously. Unke permission bina kaise shaadi karega Rahul? Dalraj Uncle and his loud voice immediately made Rahul's parents agree..!" They both laughed at that. "Lekin aap sab ke exams ke baad, the proper wedding is in Punjab, and we all have to go for that."
"Oh yeah..end of internship exams.." Riddhima sighed. It had completely escaped her mind, and they had a good two and some more months left to study for them. Just when she thought she was done with school sort of stuff. And if they passed this, they would officially be Doctors! Armaan wanted to specialize in cardiology, while Riddhima was looking at Pediatrics. Muskaan and Nikki were all in for Gynecology, while Abhi wanted to specialize as a brain surgeon, and Rahul wanted to be a general practitioner.
Well, so much for those dreams, only if they passed the exams, else they'd have to repeat a whole year of internship. Sid on the other hand, had no exams to take as he had another 6 months of internship to get through.
But recently, Riddhima had had so much on her mind, what with Sara's case and Armaan occupying it 24/7, she had completely forgotten about those exams!! Making a mental note to go start studying for everything soon, she continued sipping her coffee.
"But I wasn't talking about general stuff.." Anjali continued. "I was talking about you and Armaan."
Riddhima groaned inwardly. She herself didn't know what was happening. True, she still loved him and now thought he still loved her as well, but if he did why hadn't he said it yet? Or was he still confused? What the hell was going on his mind?
"So.." Anjali pursued.
"So what..?" she replied uncertainly.
"Don't act smart with me young lady!" And Riddhima was taken aback at how much Anjali sounded their Mum!
"Wow..mujhe lagaa Mumma aayi hai hospital main!!"
Anjali laughed at that, but continued asking Riddhima the same thing, determined to squeeze everything out of her.
"I don't know di..it's complicated. And I could try and sort it out, lekin..I just don't have that energy anymore. Main thak chukki hoon with all these problems, all this confusion. Kabhi lagta hai usne kuch ghalat kiya hi nahin, toh kabhi lagta hai main usse kabhi maaf nahin kar paungi."
"Usne kuch galat kiya?" Anjali asked warily, and Riddhima eyes widened. Wow, what had she let slip?! "Kya kiya usne?"
Should she tell her, or shouldn't she? Riddhima weighed the possible out comes of telling her that Armaan had left her because of Sasha. Anjali would probably go and strangle him.. nahh, too extreme. Well, shout at him. Maybe. Tell him to stay away from Riddhima! Most probably. But now.. did that event that took place months ago, even matter to her that much? No it didn't! She concluded. Then what was the point of telling Anjali?
"Ridzy!!! Usne kya kiya?" Anjali's sharp tone pierced through her thoughts.
"He left. And uhmm'. I didn't believe in long distance relationships ..so I broke it off'" Riddhima mumbled as fast as she could, to get over the lie.
"You broke it off, and you're blaming him?" Anjali bought it.
"Well, he left didn't he? Anyways, mujhe jaana hai." Riddhima's pager rang (sounding like a call from heaven for the first time!) and Dr Keerti was calling her to her cabin. Anjali nodded and let her go. Their coffee break was finished long back, and somehow, the sister talk Anjali planned to have didn't happen. Maybe Riddhima really didn't know about her feelings. Maybe she needed more time to figure stuff out.
"She's grown up. She can take care of herself." Anjali whispered and got back to her work. Why was she so over protective of her baby sister?
Kahaan phas gayyi?! Riddhima thought to herself. Here she was with Sid, who was blabbering on about how some random hot chic was his patient and was taking her chances on him. Apparently every hot female, including nurses, in the hospital, apart from the ones taken, were 'fida' over him and couldn't remove their gazes from him. The nurses had better jobs to do than to eye HIM of all people! She voiced that thought, only to hear,
"Heyy..mere jaisa HOT Doctor hai hi nahin Sanjeevani main."
"Oh there are quite a few. Aur tumse kahin zyaada hot bhi hain sab!"
"Kaun.."
"Papa..Jeeju..Armaa.." she stopped then continued in a casual tone. "Armaan."
"Arre vah Armaan phirse hot lagne lagaa hai?" Sid asked in a teasing voice.
"Sid shut up!"
"hmmm..some feelings being rekindled..?"
"Shut it!" Riddhima said looking around her, hoping he wasn't around. She couldn't stand being embarrassed in front of him.
"Taare vaaste dedenge jaan ve," Riddhima looked at him confused. Why the hell was he singing? "Taare vaaste dil hai kurbaan ve, Love you oh love you jaana, tu hi Armaan ve.." at the 'Armaan' he nudged her making her flush red, as she realized the answer to her question a little too late.
"I'll get Keerti to give you extra duty. Don't test my patience!" And that shut him up.
"Dekh.." he replied suddenly changing the topic as they got to the nurse station. "Voh aakhon se mera balatkaar kar rahi thi! Sab nurses aise hi karte hain."
"Sid, agar SAB" she stressed on it, "nurses aankhon se TERA balatkaar kar rahe hain, toh mujhe lagta hai tumhe sirf ek hi nurse dikhay de rahi hai. Lovely jeee!" Riddhima called, seeing her from the corner of her eye. Sid's face fell, as he saw Lovely running up to them. Riddhima took a pen out, and started updating a report as they got to the nurse station.
"Lovely jee, Sid mujhe abhi keh raha tha, ki tum kitni hot ho. Aur shayad usse tujhse pyaar hogaya hai. AUr agar abhi nahin huwa hai, toh ho jaayega."
"KYA?" Sid was horror struck! He didn't know she would be that evil!
"Sachchi..?" Lovely batted her eyelashes at Sid, while his own eyes widened.
"Voh..uhmmm..main.." Sid couldn't really deny what Riddhima said, as Lovely would probably get hurt. "Bohot..sundar..aur hot..uhmmm..aur.."
"Aur kya jee??" Lovely shifted closer to Sid, who was now sandwiched between Lovely and the desk.
"Sid," Riddhima put her pen away and looked at him. "Sharmane ki koi zaroorat nahin hai. I'm sure you two make a wonderful couple!" Smiling sardonically, she left him dealing with the situation, unaware of someone's gaze on her from the time they got to the nurse station.
"Basket..kabhi nahin badlogi na?" Armaan whispered to himself, smiling. But there was this emptiness in her eyes, which he had seen since he was back. And he was determined to get rid of it. But what could he do?
"Heyy..Riddhima.." she heard Armaan calling her and stopped. Lunch time had just begun and she wasn't in the mood for it. So her plan was to go through some files, and work during lunch, then see if she could head home early.
"Lunch karne jaa rahi ho?" he asked. On any other day, had she been going for lunch, her answer would have been sarcastic. But this time, she just shook her head slightly.
"Actually, mera mood nahin hai, I'll just continue with work."
"Mood nahin hai? OK, chal mere saath."
"Where.."
"Out, for lunch."
"Armaan seriously, I'm not hungry.." but he didn't listen to her as he dragged her out anyway.
So here she was, sitting in the booth of a small restaurant, while Armaan had gone to place an order of plain chips, as she insisted on nothing too much. She remembered how he slightly scolded her as they walked to the restaurant. His caring tone with his sarcastic remarks, it was almost as though her old Armaan was back. It sounded wonderful as well. Her old Armaan. A slight smile flitted across her face.
A gang of guys and girls walked in, the guys eyeing her. Whispering amongst themselves, one of them finally mustered up the courage to walk up to her. His hair was saturated with gel, and for some reason he thought he looked hot in his over sagging, baggy, jeans with so many chains around him, which made Riddhima think of an escaped prisoner. She took out her phone from her jeans pocket, and pretended to be busy.
"Hey beautiful," he tried putting on the husky tone, and she closed her eyes. He looked like he was in his very early 20s, maybe just hit them. Saala akeli ladki dikhi nahin chalu hogaye, was the one thought that circled her mind. Still, she turned and looked at him directly into his eyes, showing she wasn't scared of him in the slightest.
"Can I get you something?" he continued.
"No thanks I'm fine." She replied wondering where the hell Armaan was!
"Come on baby.." The guy faltered in mid sentence as he felt someone's hand on his shoulder. Riddhima looked to see the reason behind the sudden hesitancy in his speech, and was delighted to see Armaan there.
"Dude..voh mere saath hai. Koi problem?" Armaan asked in a tough voice, making the guy shrink in his shoes.
"No no problem at all.. sorry dude.. Just being nice"
"Yeah enough of being nice..go join your friends!" Armaan replied, narrowing his eyes.
He watched the guy stagger back to his friends, who were trying their hardest to hide their laughter. Sure enough as soon the door of the restaurant shut behind the group, Riddhima heard peals of laughter erupt from them. Armaan had seen them coming in, but with his back to the tables, he had no idea what was happening. After placing his order to the very slow waiter at the counter, he turned only find some random guy hitting on HIS basket! Really?! Feeling his blood boil, he made his way there, but was surprised to see that it was probably some harmless flirting, from someone he was probably only a couple of years older than. He glanced at Riddhima, whose eyes were shining with happiness, and couldn't resist but wink at her, giving her one of his mischievous smiles.
"You are so evil.." Riddhima murmured as Armaan sat opposite her.
"Hah..look who's talking! Aaj bechara Sid ko Lovely ki baahon mein phasaa diya. Phir I'm evil? What had he done to deserve this?" Armaan asked casually. Riddhima didn't know what to reply.
"Mujhe irritate kar raha tha.."
"Waise I don't blame him.. tujhe irritate karne mein mazaa hi kuch aur hai.." her mouth dropped open.
"Kya? Issiliye mujhe hamesha pareshaan karte rehte ho. Armaan tum nahin sudroge na?!"
"Yeh umar sudharne ki nahin, bigadne ki hai.." he replied in a filmy way.
"Achcha..since when were you so updated on bollywood."
"That movie is over a year old! And you're calling me updated? Riddhima you're more than 6 months behind everyone.."
"Please, dialogue tumne bola.. so you're behind everyone"
"no..you are.."
"Armaan..you are.."
"Riddhima.. you are.."
"Armaan.."
"Riddhima.."
"Armaan.."
"Riddhima.."
Like that, the next hour was spent in laughter and jokes. Riddhima couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed when lunch was over. She could be with him for ages and just listen to his nonsensical banter without any problem. After seeing that shine back in her eyes, Armaan felt the earth spinning again. Things were shaping up again. Finally, his world was being set right!
*********************
Comments guys!!!! Sorryyy I HAD to kill Sara off..!! 😭 It was planned from before..!! Sara's death was a catalyst to bring AR closer..hope you understand..!! 😊 Obv..when it comes to AR you will..!! 😛
Edited by Sanaa629 - 14 years ago
😆
Members Lounge
CID
317