Love Related Issues (MayurFF) Ch15 Pg47 - Page 27

Note** I know I deserve chappals and joothas for updating sooo freaking late! But Promise next one will be sooner!! *fingers crossed* Well I hope you guys enjoy! xoxo

Chapter 13

He caressed her cheek and whispered huskily telling her how much he loved her. He captured her lips again in a sweet, soft kiss, tasting her, loving her mouth. "Mayank...this is forever, right?" she asked in a doubtful tone. She just couldn't get herself to believing that all of this was really happening to her. In this very life... in this moment...she was with him and nothing else mattered. And she never wanted this to change. She never wanted to let go of this feeling; of this inexplicable excitement, happiness that bubbled up inside her every moment she spent with him. She never wanted this to end. Never. Yet, her doubts and her worries clouded the life she was yearning for and instead of having a "Happily ever after" she was without him thereafter.

All alone. Nothing left inside her. Initially it would suffocate her...this feeling. And there was nothing she could do about it. She blamed Mayank for lying to her, of reassuring her with false promises.

I'm never letting you go. These words... these words were said by him one night under the stars. These words... he addressed to her lovingly. But Nupur had finally come to the realization that these words had no meaning. They were of no significance. He lied to her! All those days and nights he spent with her were simply a facade! They were all lies.

And then she had laughed hysterically while tears ran down in streams from her eyes. Because she knew with complete assurity in her heart that he had indeed loved her. Truly, madly, deeply loved her. It was her stupidity that had separated them. Her pointless worries, debates had broken what they had. She had killed the symbol of their love. Their child! She had ruined everything! It was all her fault!

And then one day... one day a little baby boy named Aditya came into her life. He was like a shelter in a tornado. A shelter that protects you, that doesn't allow you to flow away with the effect of the violent winds. With aditya in her life, Nupur started to lessen the blame and guilt she had been previously subjecting herself to. And gradually that blame and guilt ceased to exist. She had come to the conclusion that Mayank had no right to end everything they had just like that! She came to the conclusion that it wasn't really her fault that their baby was no more. That their baby couldn't see the light of the day. It wasn't her fault! It was no body's fault! She wasn't the one who killed her own baby. It was just not meant to happen at that time. And Mayank had no right to make her feel guilty for something she hadn't even done!

And so Nupur was now a woman who had changed. Her feelings, her emotions were only attuned to her little saviour Aditya and her near and dear ones who had taken every step to keep her happy. She had gradually moved on from the past. Her life now only revolved around Aditya, Gunjan, Samrat, Shilpa Aunty... and her silly friend Rohan. She had found a great friend in Rohan. He had stuck by her side when she was in the worst of situations. With baby Aditya in her arms and having no family of her own anymore except for Aditya, it was Rohan who had reminded her to laugh even while facing the hardest of times. It was Rohan who had forced her to see the good in everything. And she was so very grateful to God for sending him in her life. Then she found a friend in a girl from her new workplace in a new city...Gunjan. And it was only a matter of time that they started behaving like long lost sisters. She was finally happy. She had lost one person from her life... but she had gained so many. But deep within her heart she knew... that no one could fill the gap that he had left in her heart. And that part of her heart was going to remain empty. And she was okay with it. She knew she had to live with it. Until she felt that deep twisting pain at his sight.

His eyes looked weary and tired. He looked like he had aged so much. His tired eyes looked from Aditya to her. His eye brows burrowed in confusion. And then he looked behind her as Rohan called out her name. Aditya stuck to the ground still staring at his mother apologetically but she seemed to be busy scrutinizing the bearded uncle who had been talking to him a moment ago.

"Nupur, darling we're all waiting for you inside..what are you doing out here baby?" said Rohan bringing Nupur out of her dream like state. She was shaken up and then she looked into his eyes again and the pain that reflected in those eyes broke her into a million pieces. And then she saw the accusations that he subjected to her without saying a word, communicating everything with just his eyes.

Right when she was about to say something Rohan clicked his fingers in front of her eyes and then she saw him abruptly walk away after glancing at Rohan one last time.

**

I don't care. This is what he kept on repeating in his head as Gunjan's face glowed with utter most happiness and the same expression reflected in Samrat's eyes. I. Do. Not. Care. Once again, he tried to tell himself that. As if trying to make someone else understand that really he didn't care. And sensing that the other non existing person still wasn't convinced by his simple, repeated words, he frowned. His face turned stiff like rock at the realization that just the fact that he was thinking about this meant that he cared. He cared about this more than he would have ever imagined. He cared much much more than he wanted to.

And then he saw her again. With the same little boy in her arms. He noticed that she had changed the kid's clothes. And then he saw the same man right by her side. Standing too close to her. Then he saw that man pull the boy's cheek lightly as he laughed...perhaps at a joke that was told. Nupur was smiling watching them. She was actually happy? How could she possibly be happy? How could she be standing over there, smiling, when that kid was supposed to be ours...not..not... just the thought made him dizzy. And that ... that guy?! It was supposed to be me! It was supposed to be our "family moment". But instead, i was standing right here in the corner like a loser! I had made the biggest mistake by letting her go! And then he turned furious. The kid looked around two or three years old. Well, she didn't waste any time at all, he thought furiously. She didn't waste any time at all. And then he abruptly turned. He couldn't watch her standing there. Things were not supposed to turn out like that! We were supposed to stay together forever! But things had changed now. They were not at all how they were supposed to be. Things were not like he had hoped would be. And it hurt him deep.

**

"Four more shots", he said nodding at the bar tender. He knew somewhere in his heart that one day he would have to come in terms with the reality of the situation. The bitter reality of his life; a life without her. But he hadn't expected that it would be so soon. They had fallen apart. She had moved on. That was how things were now. Clearly she had not wasted any time in moving on. And with this thought, he gulped down the shots one after the other. Letting the vodka go down his throat, hoping it would trace a path to his heart and heal all the wounds. But even alcohol stings where there is a wound. There is no possible exit from the pain. Once you feel it, you'll know it.

It was a night he had spent in pain and misery... although every night had become the same since the time she left.

**

"Everything is happening so fast...its just unbelievable!" sighed Gunjan as Nupur placed a sleepy aditya on the bed. "But you're happy... that's all that matters.." smiled Nupur moving her hands through aditya's hair.

"Okay, I'm off to bed now. I'm so tired! " said Gunjan walking out of Nupur's bedroom. "Okay. Night! Love you, Gunji",she said hugging her. "Love you too Nupur.." she said giving her one final smile and walking out of the room Nupur and Aditya were sharing for the night.

**

Nupur quietly walked out towards the garden, wrapping the shawl around her body to protect her from the cold air outside. It was a foggy December night. The night before the wedding and Nupur had given up even trying to fall asleep. She had finally decided to come out and try and clear her head out a little bit but all the cold did was numb her already frozen senses. She sighed and decided to go back inside and check on aditya when she heard some commotion at the main gate. The guard seemed to be talking to someone very rudely and Nupur couldn't help but wonder what all the yelling was about. She walked closer towards the gate and was shocked to see Mayank grabbing the guard's collar and incoherently mumbling something that Nupur just couldn't understand.

"Yeh kya ho raha hai?" demanded Nupur walking towards the two men. "Nuppp'urrr", said Mayank grabbing her shoulder, "I came to...seee... youuu and this dufus won't let me in..." he completed trying to stand straight. "Madam, mein kab se try kar raha hun inhey samjhaney ka ki kal aye.. per yeh humari baat hi nahi..." the guard was unable to complete his sentence as Nupur interrupted him, "Koi baat nahi", she said to the guard and then looked at Mayank. "What are you doing here Mayank. Its very late." "I just told you I came to see you!" Mayank said with clenched teeth as he was already frustrated with the fiasco with the guard.

Nupur realized that Mayank was very much drunk and so decided to not be so taken aback by his anger. She calmly took Mayank inside.

"Okay... do you want some water?" she asked sitting him on the couch. "No, I'm...I'm fine...sit with me.." he said patting the empty space beside him. Nupur quietly sat and didn't protest when Mayank took her hand in his and pulled her closer. "Didn't you everrr... love..love...meee..nu---pp'ur?" Nupur was dumbstruck for a moment. "Mayank... you need to go home. This is Gunjan's place...I don't want to create a scene here..." she said struggling to get out of his grip. "I asked you a question...nu'pu'r " he said angrily. "Mayank! Please you're gonna wake everybody up. Be quiet!" she whispered angrily, freeing herself. "what? You don't want your new boy toy to wake up do you? What do you like about that guy anyway... is it hotter when you do it with him?" he said biting her neck and then moving towards her exposed cleavage. "What the f*** are you talking about, Mayank?!" she said pushing him away from her chest. "Oh come on! We don't need to keep any secrets, honey. I'll give you an offer... why don't you forget about him tonight so that i can remind you just how great I was in bed" he said roughly exposing her breast to his hungry eyes and sucking on her taut tips... Nupur was aroused by his actions. After all she had been away from him for three years now! But his words cut through her like a thousand knives. What did Mayank think of her? Was she a wh*** to be talked like that to?

"Mayank get off me!" she said pushing him away. "You are disgusting! I cant believe that the only man i ever loved thought so lowly of me!" she said trying to cover herself up but to no avail.

"I'm disgusting?" he asked shaking her shoulders. "If I'm disgusting then what does that make you? You killed my baby... you ruined everything for me... and then you caught some other loser in your sick trap? Isn't THAT a disgusting thing to do?!" he said while his drunk red eyes flooded with tears.

"Mayank! What the hell are you talking about?!"

"You are so Disgusting Nupur...that I feel ashamed to even say that I love you...and the sick loser that I am...I can't even stop... I tried so hard... but I cant ... and you... you don't give a shit about my feelings... my emotions...I mean nothing to you... you started a family and... an'd just left me alone?! How could you Nupur? How could you?!" he said digging his face in her chest and bawling like a little baby. Nupur cried with him and held his face to her chest. He still loved her? And then she got angry! How could he still blame her for everything that happened three years ago? How could he force her to live in that guilt again. It had taken ages for her to free herself from the guilt and she wasn't going to go back. For now she put her arms around him and caressed his hair as his sobs died down and he seemed to be slowly drifting off to sleep.

Tomorrow morning. Tomorrow morning, she was going to wake up and clear things between them. She was going to talk to him when he was sober. Right now, she was just going to take in the warmth and contentment she felt by being in his arms...