I have cried too much for him, he doesn't even deserve these tears of mine. I know there has been some misunderstanding somewhere, but he could have cleared it out. So, I have decided that he is not worth me; he is not worth my tears. And besides, I have something to look forward to… my surprise. :) I really can't wait to see the surprise. I don't know why but my heart still wants to know what went wrong, but my brain says, "No, you don't need to know anything because that idiot didn't ask you anything. So, you can let him be!" I am trying to over-power my brain over my heart, but it's a bit hard. I can see him staring at my face from the corner of my eye.
Muskaan has gotten off the bus kyunki uska ghar aa gaya tha. I am waiting for my bus-stop to come. I am literally going to jump off the bus and run home. I continue listening to music. As I turn around to see if there is a seat at the back of the bus, our eyes meet for a second. But this time, before he could look away or give me a nasty look, I gave him the most disgusting and nasty look ever and looked away. I saw his face from the corner of my eye and my heart ached to see him hurt. "Why is he hurt?" but then suddenly my brain started to chant, "He doesn't deserve you, your care, you love, your worry. Let him be in pain. He has given you a lot of pain." I listened to my brain. The question from my heart started to fade away. My bus stop came and… no… I didn't run as that would be embarrassing. My heart begged me to look inside the bus once, just to look at his face one more time, but my brain overpowered and I just silently walked home, a little pain in my heart starting again. My brain gave up and I listened to my heart. I looked inside the bus but he wasn't there where he was sitting. Disappointment settled in, my heart ached again. Suddenly, I remembered today's incident again and I realized he isn't worth me. I started to walk home feeling excited again. Surprise kya hoga, ye soch - soch ke main pagal ho rahi thi. So, there I was, standing at the door, waiting for someone to open the door. Aisa lag raha tha jaise ki mom dad on purpose door kholne mein der kar rahe the. I heard the door unlock and the person who opened the door wasn't mom or dad. It was…
"Anjali Di!!! Oh My God! What a Surprise!" I yelled. I couldn't believe it. Is this a dream? Time for a reality check! I threw my arms around her and bear hugged her. "Yes! You are really here!"
"Ridzy… get off me. Look at your clothes… kitne gande ho rahe hai. Go get changed… nahi to meri dress kharab karegi." Di said. Huh?!? She just said that? Ok…maybe she is kidding, but ek Happy Birthday to bol sakti thi na? She didn't seem to be that excited either.
"Ummm… ok." That's all that I could manage to say.
"Oh, by the Happy Birthday Honey!" Her voice suddenly turned into a sickly sweet tone. She dragged me inside the house and handed me a box. "This is your gift from me. Khol ke dekh!" I opened the gift, not so excited. It was a dress. What the hell?!? I don't even wear dresses. Does she not even remember that much?
"Di… I don't wear dresses. It is pretty-" she stopped me mid-sentence and continues speaking in her sickly sweet tone.
"Oh I am so sorry honey. I totally forgot that you don't wear dresses. I loved this dress so much, I thought I'd buy this for you. Ab iss dress ka kya hoga?" I knew where this was going. She was going to keep the dress for herself.
"Beta, tumhe ye dress itni achchi lagti hai to tu apne liye rakh le." Dad said.
"Oh ya… that's a good idea. Thanks." I was pissed off… to-the-max. Birthday mera aur presents usse. URGH! I didn't get anything else except for my sister. She is not the same Anjali Gupta that left for India a few years ago to become a doctor. She has turned into – please forgive me for saying this, but I just can't help but say it – one of those selfish bitches and I hate that. I stomped upstairs to show my anger but that went unnoticed by mom and dad. They are way too happy to have their elder daughter home. I opened the door of my room and –
"Mom! Mera room kisne saaf kiya?" I yelled.
Everyone came upstairs. "Maine kiya Ridz. Your room was so tacky and… urgh… disgusting." That was it. Mere pressure cooker ki seeti phatt gayi… and I yelled.
"How dare you call my room disgusting? No one… you understand… no one cleans my room. No one touches my room." I looked at mom and talked to her in a normal tone. "Mom, aapne nahi bataya inhe?"
"Mom ne bataya tha honey, but it's not hygienic-"
"Hygiene my ass. You keep your values to yourself. Let me be the way I am. Stop interfering in my life. Listen Miss Anjali Gupta, just remember one thing… and that is that no one insults my room, no one cleans my room and no one does anything to it without my permission because this room is my life. It is special. I guess tum nahi samjhogi. So just stay away. Get it?"
"Riddhima, apni behen se aise baat karte hai?" Dad said.
"Haan… aise hi karte hai. Because she is not my Anjali di. She is a stranger named Anjali Gupta for me." I snapped back. I went inside my room and slammed the door in their face. Suddenly, I felt like I was stabbed in the heart. What my eyes saw killed me inside. It was the photo of our gang, then the photos of me and Armaan. A lone tear escaped my eye, but I quickly wiped it away. These photos created fresh wounds inside my heart. The writings on the wall made my heart bleed. But none of this was going to go. All this was going to stay here because they are going to make me strong. I suddenly felt drained out, sick of life. I decided to take a shower. I didn't cry, instead I made up my mind. I was going to fight, I was going to face everything life threw at me bravely. I was going to treat people the way they me. I was going to live life the way I wanted to. I… Riddhima Gupta.... will turn into a total bitch… because this one birthday… this one day – it has made me one.
"Love me, hate me, I don't give a shit!" I said. I cranked up the music to deafening noises. I didn't pick up the phone, because it was mom trying to call me. I picked up the phone when I saw Muskaan's number flash on the screen.
"Riddhima, kaha hai tu? Itna loud music!" Muskaan said.
I turned the music down. "Apne kamre mein hoon. I am just listening to loud music. :P"
"Oh ok. So what was your surprise?"
"Meri di. Wo waapas aa gayi hai. But she isn't the same yaar. She has changed. She has become one of those snobby selfish people. So… I am not at all happy. Ek kaam kar… tu online aa ja. I will talk to you there. Ok?"
"Umm… ok." Muskaan sounded worried. Iski ye ek bohot badi problem hai. Bohot jaldi tension leti hai har baat ki. So; I hung up, cranked the music up again and went online again. I explained everything to Muskaan.
Muski ^^ : Oye… main tere ghar aa rahi hun… abhi… ok?
Riddhima =D :Yups... ok. No problem. :) one thing. Jab tu mere kamre ke bahar pohce, to gimme a misd call. I wont be able to hear a knock aur main kisi se milna bhi nahi chahti. Oh... one more thing. Can you get me a burger and some fries on your way here? Mujhe bhook lagi hai. Aur main neeche nahi jaana chahti.
Muski ^^ : LOL. Ok. All ur orders will be obeyed maam :P cya. :D
Muski ^^ has signed out.
20 minutes later, Muskaan gave me a missed call. I opened my bedroom door and let her in and, for her sake, turned the volume of the music down. She kept the food down and hugged me tightly. See, typical Muskaan taking too much tension. :P
"You ok na Riddhima?" Uff Muskaan.
"Riddhima is all cool yaar, tension mat le. I am one happy bitch. :P" I said.
"Oye! Apne aap ko… don't call yourself that."
"Arre… sach bolne mein kya kharabi hai."
"Ridz, tu talli hai kya?"
"Haan, apne sade hue birthday ke nashe se talli. :P"
"Abe yaar… chal… ye sab chod… khana kha le."
"Oh yeah… burger... yum!" And I hogged on the food. While I was eating, Muskaan said something which shocked me.
"Riddhima, I think you should talk things out with your family. Jaake unse baat to kar ke dekh. Maybe there is some misunderstanding."
Ok, maybe it wasn't that shocking. She was just trying to patch things up between me and my family. I was staring at Muskaan with my mouth open, the burger inside about to fall out. I snapped my mouth shut, finished my burger and then opened it again to speak.
"Tu pagal hai kya? Mujh jaisi arrogant insaan se bol rahi hai, baat karne ko. No way!" What she said afterwards pissed me off even more.
"Arre, I know. I was kidding. You be arrogant and beep. :P"
Ab mujhe ghussa kyun aaya? Wo isliye kyunki:
"Muskaan… dekh, aise stupid mazaak ke liye mere khaane ka time waste mat kar. Samjhi na. :P" After finishing my food, I decided to talk to her about Armaan, so that she would talk about Rahul.
"Muskaan, main Armaan ke baare mein soch rahi thi."
She looked at me worriedly and said, "What about him?"
"Dekh… usne mujhe bhala bura kaha… right?"
"Hmm…"
"But… aaj uske face pe sadness dekh ke… I was… I felt really hurt. I don't know why. Aren't I meant to hate him? Kya mujhe usse nafrat nahi karni chahiye? Poore school ke saamne insult karne ke liye. But I don't know. Kya tujhe bhi aisa hi hota hai? I mean… aaj Rahul ke face pe bhi sadness dikh rahi thi. Did you feel hurt as well?"
"No, ab wo sad ho, khush ho, mujhe usse koi farak nahi padta."
I knew she was lying, because she wasn't looking in my eyes when she said that. Wo to meri taraf dekh bhi nahi rahi thi. "Kyun jhoot bol rahi hai?" She looked at me, her face indicating that she was going to argue. But before she could start, I continued. "Seriously, you think you can lie to me? Main bhi kitni kharab dost hoon. Kabse apni hi problems ke baare mein bolti ja rahi hoon, lekin ek bhi baar tujhse nahi poocha, Nikki se nahi poocha, ki are you guys ok. Muski, tu kab se apne dard ko apne andar daba ke baithi hui hai… and look at me… I don't even give you a chance to speak about it. See… I told you na, ki I am a total -"
"Oye chup kar. Look, I am hurting inside and you know what? I don't mind hurting myself just so that no pain comes to you. Ok?"
"Ya, but I don't like that. See, now I am in no pain. But you are and I hate to know that ye sab meri wajah se…" I stopped speaking, tears came back. 'Why are these tears coming back?' I thought. 'This is not meant to happen. Come on Ridz, you have to be strong. Not you for you, but for your friends.'
"Ridz, stop acting strong yaar. Stop acting like you are not in any pain. Please yaar, kisko dikhane ke liye kar rahi hai tu ye sab? Mujhe? Taaki mai tujhse apna dard baatu? So that I talk everything that has happened? Stupid, agar main tujhse baat nahi karungi to kisse karungi? Huh? Bata na? I don't even have a brother or sister to talk to. You are my only sister now. Wo Nikki bhi chod ke chali gayi. Ab bachi to tu hi na. And trust me I am fine."
"No you are not. You are lying!" I argued like a kid.
Muskaan let out a small sigh. "Why do you know me so well? How do you know ki I am not fine? Itna saaf - saaf likha hai kya mere face pe ki 'OMG, I am not okay!'" Muskaan said, finally giving up.
I let out a little laugh. "Haan, tere face pe big fat letter mein likha hai 'I am hurting! But I don't want anyone to know.' But it is written in a language that only I understand, no one else. Samjhi?"
Muskaan nodded. I thought I saw tears in her eyes, but before I could confirm that, she hugged me and cried. After 2-3 minutes, she started to speak and I finally felt relieved that she was pouring her heart out to someone. "I miss everything Ridz. I miss our gang. I miss Rahul. I miss everything about him. I miss how wo mujhse roz ladta tha. I miss how wo mujhe roz stupid naamo se bulata tha." She seemed to have gone back in time, as if remembering each and every moment of her's with Rahul. I didn't want to disturb her, she looked too happy living in the past. I didn't want to ruin these few minutes before the movie finished and reality hit her. "I miss how wo mujhse dance choreographer banne ke liye encourage karta tha. I miss how he used to steal my wallet almost everyday just to remind me of our first meeting. I miss how he would randomly hold me by my waist and dance with me when we all would be listening to music. I miss how wo roz mere baal kheechta tha, just to annoy me. I miss his pranks, his random hugs that I used to find so annoying. You know Ridz, I miss our gang so much. Humari pagalpanti, humari stupidity. I still remember how we all embarrassed ourselves at the mall by our stupidity. But now… everything has changed. Our gang is shattered in a million piece because of some misunderstanding. And Rahul, wo ab mujhe dekhega bhi nahi, let alone baat karega. But you know what?" She looked at me, not a tear in her eye. "I guess… I guess I am going to move on. I mean just because of Rahul I won't stop liking other guys. After all, mujhe aage jaake shaadi karni hai. Aur Rahul ke bachche ko apne dil mein dil mein leke baith gayi na, to - to ho gayi meri shaadi. :P"
We laughed whole heartedly. Maybe we were still in pain, but one thing was sure and that was that the boys wouldn't get to know about it. We were going to act happy in front of them, because we were happy. We had each other for support.
"Chal, ab main chalti hoon. Nahi to I will get late. And you sleep properly tonight." Muskaan said.
"Kyun?"
"Kal job ka interview hai apan dono ka, remember?"
"Oh ya, I do :D. Chal, see ya tomorrow." I hugged her and she went home.
I plugged my earphones in and turned my iPod on. I lied down on my bed, suddenly feeling tired again. The events of the whole day replayed in front of my eyes and I didn't realsie when I fell asleep.
O~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~O
Hey guys, the next part is up. 😃 Thanks for all the comments. Really do appreciate them. Thanks a ton! I hope you all like this part as well. 😊
Love you all
🤗
Edited by jm2506 - 14 years ago
Cricket
Ye Hai Mohabbatein
23