Part 13
Sid was still adjusting to the bright sunlight when he notices Con near the window.
Con: Enjoyed ur dream?
Sid: if that was a dream then I have lost the definition of a nightmare.
Con: C'mon Nightmares are scarier. They have monsters in them.
Sid: this was scary alright.
(Sid thoughts drift to the time where he ran out the door and left Riddhima in bed.)
Sid: If I had cared enough to look back just once, just once I would have known it was Riddhima and not Priya. If only I glanced back just once.
Con: You know what they say: haste makes waste. But even if u did. The big question is would have done things differently?
Sid: Ofcour…..
(Sid's voice trails off. He thinks about it and is amazed to see that he actually couldn't decide.)
Sid: Would I? would I stay if I had known I was with someone else and not Priya.
Con: Maybe you would but then the chances of you not staying is always bigger.
(Sid looks up at Con)
Con: You always leave things before the final word. You always leave. You never stay for anyone. Its not that you intend to ruin lives, its just that you never care enough to see the coming harm.
(Sid just looked on and it was true. He never intended for anything bad to happen to anyone but at the same time he never cared enough to wish for better things in other people's lives. He knew this but he couldn't accept it.)
Sid: that cant be right. What about Adi and Dheeraj? I care about them. I want good things to happen to them.
Con: That's different. They are close enough to be called a part of you. A man wants good things for himself and the people around himself. A good man would want good things for everyone.
(Sid couldn't argue with that anymore. He knew that he wasn't right and he finally decided to let his fear out.)
Sid: What if I cant fix things this time? What if I cant make things better for Riddhima?
Con: Your true intention is what counts here. Whether you can or cant do something is not up to you, but ur decision to go ahead and do it is definitely up to you.
(Sid drops in his bed. He tries to think of what to do, where to start but couldn't. "What can I possibly do to make things better in her life?" he thinks.)
Con: Okay… an important question do you intend to tell her?
Sid: tell her what?
Con: lets see, for starters maybe about ecstasy and then maybe that you are the father of her child?!
(Sid thinks about it. He knows it's the right thing to do. But then he didn't know how to go about it. He imagines telling her and her reaction. Her eyes filled with hatred and scorn. He imagines her pushing him away in disgust. He realized for some reason he didn't want that. He didn't want her to hate him. "Its selfish and I know but if I cant handle imagining her hate me, how on earth am I supposed to be fine with her literally hating me?" He thought.)
Sid: I cant.
Con (reading his mind): she might not hate you for it.
Sid: You think Con? You seriously think that? That she wont hate me for getting her pregnant and abandoning her?
Con: I don't think its right for you not to hide it from her.
Sid: I know what is right and what is not. I know that very well. The last thing you want to do right now is lecture me about it.
Con: Fine. If shutting up your conscience will solve the problem then so be it.
(He gets up and walks to the window to clear his clogged brain. He sees Riddhima crying in the corner of her backyard. He doesn't think and his feet just start to move. Before he knew it, he jumps the fence of his backyard and enters hers. He was behind her and was now very confused at what he had done. He then notices she was on the phone.)
Riddhima: Mama aap fikar mat karo main nahin aaoongi. Agar ek baar, bas ek baar, phone par baat hojaye toh… haan I know I know par Dad ko kaisey pata chalega… hello…hello… mama..
(And her silent tear turn to sobs. She lets go of her phone and Sid catches it in time. Riddhima looks down when she notices her phone hasn't broken into pieces and gets surprised to see a hand holding it. Sid taps on her shoulder gently.)
Sid (whispering): its just me.
(Riddhima turns and hugs him. She sobs hysterically. Sid just stands still.)
Riddhima: Cant believe this all happening to me. Every time I try to fix things, they just get even more tangled. I know that there is no hope but I just cant stop myself from trying. I know they are never going to be able to forgive me but then I have this hope… this hope that one day they might look back and miss me.
(She pulls back and sees Sid's shirt stained with her tears.)
Riddhima: Now look what I've done! Your shirt's a mess because me. Again all because of me.
(She hadn't stopped crying but seemed more in control now. She was rubbing her tears off like a child with the palm of her hands.)
Riddhima: And you don't even know what I'm blabbering about.
Sid: maybe I do.
Riddhima: huh?
(Sid dug his sneaker into the dirt and focused his eyes on the task of pushing his foot in and out of the dirt, not gathering enough strength to look at her. He seriously wasn't sure of what he was saying or whether he should be telling her or not but he just felt like he needed to say it.)
Sid: I mean what if you arent the one who should be blamed? Maybe there is a lot more to what happened then what you think did. What I mean to say is at times you cant really….. Actually you shouldn't blame yourself entirely for everything, you never know what can go wrong.
Riddhima: Sid…. I understand your concern but I don't think you know anything.
Sid: No… that where you're wrong. I think I know…
Riddhima: How can that be possible?
(He finally looks up at her crimson red eyes. They looked as if she had been crying for long and he didn't want to see her that way. "Eyes fill with scorn and hatred are bad but tearful eyes are far worse, if telling her this would change the way she feels then so be it" and with that thought he takes a deep breath and decides to say tell her the truth. He was unsure whether he wanted to tell her or not initially but now he was pretty sure that he wanted to tell her.)
Sid: well… I have got to tell you something. Its about this one night that changed someone's life and I didn't realize, actually it ruined someone's life.. See the thing is…
(Riddhima's phone starts beeping. She looks at Sid apologetically and answers the phone call.)
Riddhima: Hello.. Yeah its me.. Why? What happened? Mary would you tell me on the phone? Oh.. I will get there.
Sid: huh? What happened?
Riddhima: I need to go to the hospital, its urgent.
(Sid nods. And Riddhima walks past him.)
Riddhima: Oh and Sid?
Sid: yh?
Riddhima: You could use the front door this time.
Sid: yeah right, I cant keeping jumping fences.
(Riddhima smiles. "Finally!" Sid thinks. They walk into the house and Aryan was on the dinning table doing his homework. Riddhima runs her hand through his hair and doesn't notice Sid who was frozen at the door.)
Riddhima: Mom needs to go off to work…. For a little while.
Aryan: Have you been crying?
Riddhima: Onions?
Aryan: Its funny you cut onions more than you cook.
Riddhima: I really don't think you're done with your maths sums… so continue doing what kids your age do.
Aryan: I cant solve it on my own and your going! Can Sid help me?
(Sid doesn't answer because he was frozen at the sight of Aryan. It was different to see him now. Now Sid began relating everything of Aryan to himself. The messy hair, his eyes and his even his weakness in maths. Riddhima was waiting for Sid to answer.)
Riddhima: Will you?
Sid: No… Actually… I have something to do..
Aryan: ahh well that sucks.
(Riddhima pats him in the back and Sid begins to gather energy and moves out of the house with Riddhima. Sid gets home and buries his head on a pillow. "What have I done?!" He shouts out.
Riddhima on the other hand reaches the hospital.)
Riddhima: Yes.. Nurse.. What happened? Whats the emergency?
Mary: I need to talk to you in your cabin.
(The quite healthy nurse took her to her cabin and lloked as if she had robbed a bank.)
Riddhima: What is it? Aryan is home alone…
Mary: This is about Aryan.
Riddhima: what?
Mary: Well.. You know his school had come here for a field trip and they had done a DNA test so the school requested for the samples reports as the kids wanted to see them. I went to Dr. Aditya and asked for them but he refused saying he hadn't received the reports. I knew this wasn't possible and I inquired at the reception where they told me they handed him the reports. I knew Dr. Aditya was hiding the reports but I thought he done something wrong during the testing that's why he was hiding them but I never could guess the real reason
Riddhima: Nurse what has this got to do with Aryan?
Mary: Aryan's DNA matched!
Riddhima: How can that be???
Mary: well I thought I should show it to you before anyone else gets them.
(Riddhima looks at her shocked but she didn't believe her. Nurse Mary leaves the reports on her desk and quickly leaves the room to save her job. Riddhima picks up the reports in annoyance, she was very sure the DNA couldn't match. She reads the name of the patients. "Aryan Gupta and Siddhant Modi". She smiles at Sid's name remembering the fence incident. Her eyes drift to the rest of the report and she sees the positive result. "No, not possible" She refused but she went through it again and again. "What did this mean? Sid is the father for Aryan? But how?" Riddhima thought.)
Riddhima: No.. no.. This cant be… Sid cant.
(Tears were forming at the corners of her eyes.)
Riddhima: how can he do this? Why? After so long I… could… I could trust someone and he turned out to be this?
(She begins to think about Sid and for the first time in all the times she had known him, she thinks of him with a negative perception. She thinks of his Casanova image. She think of how he couldn't remember Kavita. "But why had he been so kind? Why to me?" She then begins to think…. )
Riddhima (thinking): He knew Aryan is his son. He did this DNA test to prove it. He wants my child. I cant let that happen. Aryan is only reason I make it through my day, every morning I wake up to see his face. He is the reason why I haven't jumped off a bridge or shot myself in the head. I cant lose him. I can never lose him. My life cant be compared to what I feel for him. Aryan is my child and oh my God…. Sid… he lives right next to us…
(Riddhima grabs her car keys and drives home. She gets out of her door in a hurry and slips and falls. She hits the ground hard but doesn't care. She doesn't bother shutting the door of her car. Aryan was all that mattered right now. Sid sees this and tries to get there in time to give her a helping hand but she manages to get up and into her house. She calls out for Aryan and hugs him. She locks the door and makes Aryan sit with her in bed. She hugs him tightly and he looks up at her.)
Aryan: mom? Onions again?
Riddhima: Yeah. Big and stinky ones.
(Aryan hugs her back and they just lay in bed. Aryan closes his eye in her arms and Riddhima pulls the covers on him and still hold him with the other hand. She kisses his hair.)
Riddhima: I am never ever going to let anyone take you away from me.
Aryan: And I am never ever going to let anyone take me away from you. I love my mom.
(She smiles through her tears.)
Riddhima: yeah well she loves you too.
(And they fall asleep. Riddhima wakes up when she hears clinging noise. She goes to the window and sees Sid had fallen into the her backyard while trying to get in. He hand fallen on the gardening equipment. Riddhima walks into the backyard with rage. Sid sees her approach.)
Sid: I told you I cant keep jumping fences.
Riddhima: Get out.
(Sid looks up in shock and sees that she was dead serious. He straightens up and there were drops of blood oozing out of his cuts. But Riddhima didn't move forward to help him and Sid finally could see the rage and anger, he feared, in her eyes. He didn't want to consider that she found out.)
Sid: what?
Riddhima: Please get out of my backyard.
Sid: Now your being mean.
Riddhima: And your intruding.
Sid: what? You okay?
Riddhima: Sid, get out.
Sid: Would you tell me what is wrong?
Riddhima: I don't want you around my son. My son. Now get out.
Con: Sid its kind of obvious, she knows.
(Fear etched across Sid's face. Riddhima didn't want to show him her fear that he might take her child away from her.)
Sid: Riddhima, I meant to tell you before hand…
Riddhima: meant to tell me before hand that you want to take my child away from me? I don't care what you are here for but you have leave.
Sid: take your child? Why would I do that?
Riddhima: yes. My child. I wont let you touch him Sid. And I swear if you take a step towards him, I wont will call the cops.
Sid: You think I here to separate you from Aryan? Im here just to apologize! To make things right.
Riddhima: You apologized. I accepted, now leave.
(Riddhima was trembling when she said that and Sid didn't understand her fear. "Is she scared that I might do something to her? To hurt her or worse? Can she think of me as something that low? Cant blame her though" He thought.)
Sid: Then how come I don't feel forgiven.
Riddhima (frustrated and scared): I don't know Sid, I FORGIVE! I FORGIVE! I FORGIVE! Just leave! Leave and never comeback…. I cant live without Aryan.
(Now Sid finally understood her fear.)
Sid: No no.. you're getting it all wrong. I wanna help you not take Aryan away from you. I love Aryan as I love any other kid.
(He was lying, he didn't like kids usually but right he needed to calm her down.)
Sid: I love Aryan but not the fatherly love. I don't love him as a son. He's cute and that's it. I don't want you to confuse me for some obsessed father who wants his child back. I don't want Aryan.
Riddhima: Then why are you here?
Sid: To apologize…
Riddhima: I forgave Sid! Have you been listening to me?
Sid: a lot more attentively than you think and you haven't forgiven me.
Riddhima: Please leave.
Sid: I cant. Because if I leave then you will carry on living like this.
Riddhima: I am happy.
Sid: that's what you think.
Riddhima: That's what I know.
(Tears were beginning to form in the corners of Riddhima's eyes. Although she pretended to believe Sid, she didn't. She still thought that he wanted Aryan back and she knew he was rich so he could hire the best lawyers and snatch her reason to live. Sid saw the tears.)
Sid: no.. please not the tears. Look I will do anything… Just don't cry. Don't do that.
Riddhima: Then leave Sid.
Sid: alright., I will leave just don't cry. Please don't let the tear fall.
(Sid leaves the way he came in and Riddhima headed back in bed with Aryan where she felt safe.)
Riddhima: Please be gone! Please leave Sid.
(Sid went home and sat by the window, he was looking at Riddhima's backyard.)
Sid: I cant leave. Not this time Riddhima. Whether you like it or not I am going to stay. And stay as long as you need me to because whether you accept it or not you need a helping hand and Im not very proud of it but that helping hand ought to be mine.
Love Friendship Dating and Relationships
Udne Ki Aasha
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
254