Fiza'a OS gallery thread 1 - Page 43

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Auroni.92 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
Kya kahoon samajh nahi aa raha...
Itna gussa araha hain nupur ke family members per...Aisa yaha humare desh mein bhi hota hain...Aise situation per larki ki family chahti hain kaise bhi karke use apni sasural bhej diya jaye...Chahe usko kitni hii takleef mile...
Im sooo lucky ki meri family aisa bilkul nahi hai...Yaha larka aur larki mein koi faraq nahi hai...
Fiza main bohutt khush hoon ki tumne yeh topic choose kiya apni story ke liye...Nupur ka decision ekdam sahi hai...Aab jo bhi hoga uski marzi se hoga...Chahe khushi mile ya gam...Aur jis tarah se tumne aaoaz uthaya as nupur im very proud of u...
And as for mayank im sure kisi na kisi din usse nupur ka samna hoga...And i hope us din nupur ki tarakki dekh kar uska sar sharm se jhul jaiga...Aur usse uski saza to allah hi degi...
Jaldi update karna...🤗
JaeeDevRathore thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
Fiza Di - a tear-jerking update - really ...

The way you brought out the inner thoughts of the woman suffering it all was fabulous - her questions to her family were the questions to the society - what is a woman's identity? Are her feelings nothing, her self-respect zilch ... They need to understand that women are not toys with which whenever you wish, you play and or else dispose her in the dustbin ...

I really liked the way you showed her standing up for herself and you know what - I want Mayank to fall in love with her so that she can give him the taste of his medicine ... I would never want them to be together in the end - that will kill the essence of this story ...

I am a hard-core feminist, which you might have noticed already and so I am loving this story where you are showing the real face of the society and a woman standing up for herself ...

A fantastic job by you ...
Jaee D. Rathore
Edited by -jaee- - 14 years ago
drfizaahmed thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago

Hello guys

Seeing ur coments made me feel really glad …u cant imagine how im feeling …feels like we got a platform to talk….

Here is the second last chapter….as im celebrating Arjuns wise decion

Sum of ur getting it right most r getin wrong …..but last update everything will be cleared

Last update will be on either frday or Saturday…..as I want to read ur comments in detail….it will be more like a discussion…..

Abt the other ff…I'll mayb after I finish ths one…as writing this a cant get in mood of sumthing sweet

Lov all

Fiza

Thnku

Edited by drfizaahmed - 14 years ago
JaeeDevRathore thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
Fiza Di, thank you for this brilliant story 😊

Jaee D. Rathore


Edited by -jaee- - 14 years ago
drfizaahmed thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago

Chapter: 3

She entered a huge campus…true it's a city itself….she went to her desired place n ask for the head of the department….he gave her intro to class n made her understand her responsibility …. She felt better as it was always gud to b here…she always wanted this…..the HD gave her keys of her campus room…wch was in teachers colony …..she went inside n set in balcony

Nupur: a faint smile appeared on her face …..shayd yeahi sahi tha…..jo mein ny hamesha chaha…shayad asay nhi per mila tu…..aj mein apni zindagi apny mutabiq shoro kero gi…apny khuwab poray kero gi…..hamesha se ek azaad huwa mein saaa lyanay chati thi…per asay yeah khabi nhi socha tha…

(maybe this was wht was meant to be happen…I always wanted to be in open air ..to fky with my own wings….but like this I nevr thought…..but today im gonna life the way I want to)

She closed her eys to feel the freedom in air……

Belll

Nupur: ji…appp

Mayank: ap….woh darasal(actually) HD ny kaha tha meray room k keys ap k pass hain shayd ti bs islyan ….mjhy pata nhi thy yeah ap k room hai…mein disturb nhi kerna chata tha….ap yaha

Nupur was looking at his confused nervous face all in surprise…..she smiled

Nupur: ji humaray hi pass hai…..ek min hum ap k daytay hain

Mayank: shukria….

-----

He was smiling whn he return home'\

Smarat: yeah ap kyun muskrat rahah hain

Mayank: woh larki yaha

Samrat: kaun se

Mayank: woh jo humain airport per mili thi…..nice…

Samrat: kya nice….tum us per line marny ka soch rahy hoo

He passed a disgusting look to him

Mayank: khabi tu khabi tu larkiyaoon k baray mein kiis aur tarah se soch liya ker….battmeez(ill mannered) insaan…

------------------

Nupur went down stairs n was walking towards the campus…it was an extrmly hot day though just a normal one for the locals…..

A car stoped near her…..

Mayank: he came out of the car…..agar ap bora na many tu campus tak humaray sath chal sakti hain…

Nupur: ji nhi shukria(thnks)….hum walk kerlay ga

Mayank: dekhny yaha buhat garmi hai….pls ..humain acha lagay ga agar ap k kam asaky tu ….pls…hum per bahrosa(trust) kijain…..

Nupur: she thought for a moment n she agreed as it was getting difficult to walk here

Thik hai….she sat down …shukria

Mayank: my plessure…..mayank..

Nupur: ji

Mayank: humara naam mayank hai….

Nupur: ohh….nupur….

Saamrat: asalamulikum mein samrat….wasy ap yaha student hain

Nupur: jaha tak huamin maaloom hai ….teachers coloney mein students nhi rahty

Myank suprsseed his smile….solid baizaati(insult) hoi….her larki k sath shoor

Mayank: is ki baat k bora na many …yeah ssoch smjhy bhagir baat kerta hai….ab kaun s subject parhti hi…

Nupur: child psychology….bs yahin rook dain humara department agay….is takleef k shukria

Mayank: yeah mera faraz tha…pardes mein hum wattan(country) hi ek doosray k kam aty hain…allah hafiz

Nupur: allah hafiz

She left n his eyes followed her

Mayank: kitni porasaar shahkastiyaat hai( effective personality …silent one)

Samart: kuch zayda hi asar horaha hai…wasy yeah takleeef day ker sorry tu suna tha …shukria???

Mayank: tera kya hoga…matlab mjhy jo takleef hoi nahy yaha taak drop kerny k lyan …us ko uthny k shukria

Samrat: tu asan alfaz( words) mein nhi bool satay….galib ki zaban mein bolna zaroori hai…..( to speak in difficult urdu is it necessary)

Every day they use to meet like tht…n he gets to know a thing abt her…soon he realize she is simple yet strong headed person …ambitious, beautiful yet make people clearly understand what are their limits….n evry day he trys to make her familiar with himself….n she sum how doesn't minds to answere his question ..mayb because she see a loads of respect in his eyses for her

Thy where sharing strange kind of relation….he was curious to know abt her

------------------------------------

Samart: mein yeah nhi kaah(eat) sakta…janab yeah daal kam..aur kuch yuck slimy sa…ajeeb sa kuch hai…

Mayank: mjhy khana bana nhi aat ….tu kya kero

Samrat: shadi keraly ……mjhy kya pata

Mayank: samrat….kuch socho'

Samrat: ek tareeqa hai….samany wali laki se pochty hain k dal kasay banti hai….

Mayank: nhi plz….

Chup mein araha hoon

Bell

Samrat: aslam ulikam …kya ap ko daal bana na ati hai

Nupur: ji…surprise

Samrat : ohhh good…tu pls bana dain

Mayank: smarat….sorry kya ap humain bata sakti hain ….woh banti kasay hai

Samrat: kya faida hai…abhi phn per tu ny anty se recipe pochi …woh tu kuch ajeeb hi bani hai….

Mayank: tu ..phn ki baaat alag hoti hai….aur woh tu ami ki recipe thin a…..inki thori

Samrat: kyun in ki recipe mein daaal ki jaga ..chicken banti hai….nupur ji daal sab ek style se hi banti hain na

Nupur: ji almost…she was surprise n enjoying the fight between bth of them ….thy where themselves arguing n answering forgetting they came to her place for sumthing….she silently went inside her home n bring a bowl

Nupur: yeah lijai …take it

Smarat: aray itni chaldi ban bhi gai

Nupur: aj itifaaqan( coincidently ) hum ny bhi daal hi banai thi..

Samarat:waoo…..

Mayank: ap ny khana kha liya

Nupur': nhi bs ..ja hi rahi thi

Mayank: agr ab ko thik( right) lagay…humain acha lagy ga …agar ap humaray sath kahain gi( have dinner with us)

Nupur: nhi its oki…mein kha lo gi

Smrat: woh humain pata hai ap kha lay gi….per hum nhi khaha pay gay….kyun k yeah humain tany mar mar k kuch nhi khnay dayin ga…kyun hum ny ap k khana choraliya…(steal)

Mayank: pls humain acha lagay ga….he pleaded her with hope n hesitation….every min he was almost dying un knowingly to hear her answer…..

Nupur; thik hai….per humary ghar

Myanak: he smiled wide shukria…..

Samart: humara ghar wsy bhi kis kamabil nhi ( not in in a postion to welcum a guest)

They set on dinning table….n she offered them n dishes

Myank: he took a bit of daal n closed his eyes in anticipation….yeah tu bulkily ghar jasai hai

Nupur: jab ghar ko itna yaad keraty hain tu ghar se aay kyun

Mayank: majbori thi….baba chatay thy k hum family business kerain aur humain parhana( teaching) ach algta hai….yeah business k daoo pecch hum se nhi hoty…..( business clever n wits …can handle them)

Nupur: ohh tu ghar walo se lar ker aay hain

Mayank: nhi …bs baba ko naraz ker k ….ami ghusa hoi..per maa hain naraz nhi hoskati …ap yaha …akleay…itna asaan nhi larki k akley( alone) yaha tak aana…..

Nupur: itna muskil bhi nhi….agar apny wajood ki talash ho tu insaan kahin bhi ja sakta hai…

Myank: sach hai….ach alaga yeah dekh ker k ek larki bhi ambitious hai…..tu wajood tu apny mulki mein bhi tarahsa( find) ja sakta tha…..

She remain silent to find answerer

Mayank: na bataein…her sawal k jawab dayna zaroori nhi hota….wasy dubai dekha ap ny…

Nupur: nhi waqt hi nhi mila….saoch rain hoon weekend per niklo…

Mayank: bulkul…borana na many tu humary sath chaly gi…

Smarta was drinking water that he stoped right there….mayank asking a girl out …im dreaming

Nupur: nhi humain acha nhi lagay ga…maffi chatay hain

Mayank: he smile…hum samjhtay hain…aur maafi manag ker humain sharminda( embrasse) na kerya…

Thy kept talking complelety forgetting tht even samart was there ..he was completely observing bth n smiling mayank was lost in her talks ….he was watching n enjoying each n ever expression of her..though her eyes where lowered in whole conversation ..but mayank was looking into her eeys….he kept asking n talking …even after the finished the dinner….

Samrat: chalein ab….shukria is mahman nawazi ka…( thnks for the hospitality)

Nupur: shukria yaha any ka….

Myank: khana buhat acha tha…..kabhi bhi kisi cheez k lyan humari zarrorat pary tu agr ap humain yaad keray gi tu humain acha lagay ga….

Nupur: yeah kahany k lyan shukria

-----------

Samrat: yeah waha kya horha ha tha…..

Mayank: kya

Samrat: ap ko woh achi lagti hain….

Mayank: pata nhi….shayad…kuch ajeeb se baaat hai in mein…..ek ajeeb se kahsish….ajeeb sa sukoon…taharoo…jasay tufaan k bad ki khamsohi ho…..

(there is sumthing strange in her…..silence , attraction ..calmness…seems like the calmness after hurricane)

Samrat: mayank ahamed khan ko kya mohaabat ho rahi hai……

Mayank: muhababt buhat bara jazaba hai….asa kuch nhi hai…tum jao aur su jao…..

-----------------------------------------

Sanrat: yeah hum sahel per kyun aay hain( beach)

Mayank: manzil ki talash mein( in search of destination)

Samrat: ap k kasay pata k api ki manzil yaha hai

Mayank: un k samadar buhat pasand hai ….tu meray mutabiq(according) woh jab nikli thi tu yahin pohochi hongi

he was shocked stunt….

Samart: mayank ……smiled….so finally ….

Mayank: shut up……nupur….he smiled…..

Samart: unhoony ap k sath ghoom ny se mana kiya tha

Mayank: ji nhi unhony humary sath colony se chalny ko mana kiya tha…..itefaqaan agar rahaein milain tu kya keray koi….( if coincidently we meet tu wht one can do)

He walked towards her……

Hmm …..tu ap humara peccha kertay kertay yaha aagi…..

Nupur: ji….ohh tu yeah baat ap apny liyan kah rahy hain……..

Myank: ab tu ap ko humari company qoobal( accept) kerni paray gi…shayd khuda bhi yeahi chata hoo….aur is baat se tu ap bhi itefaaq(agree) keray gi….k dubai akelay dekhny mein maza nhi ata ……plz…

Nupur: kafi ziddi hain ap….

Mayank: tu ap humain na badlain pls

Nuupur: thik hai…chalein…

He was watching a group of youngsters celebrating

Mayak: Uff Allah yeah kya hai

Nupur : is say birthday celebration kahaty hain

Mayank: yeah koi tareeqa hai…..itna hungama…upper se itna foam…

Nupur: lay yeahi tu maza hai….

Mayank: ap asy manti hain

Nupur: bulkul…ap ki kab hai….ap ki bhi asay mana lay gay

Myank: 6 of septmber 1982

Nupur: umer nhi pochi thi

The roam around the city for whole day…..for the first time in past 5 mths…she really enjoyed herself…she find her inhibitions broken up…mayank was more quite n enjoying the sight….he was feeling a different feeling n strange kind of happiness seeing her freely enjoying herself…she was chating , chuckling on samarts word….he was thanking him inside wht he wished to make her feel …samrat was doing so

She was standing on the trace of the restaurant…..was looking at the city ….glittering in lights…make it look beautiful…

Kitna khubasorat hai….

Hmm..buhat khubsoorat hai……he was looking to city but was praise the reflection in the glass in front of him…..

Mayank: nupur…..ap se ek baat pochy

Nupur: she turned towards him in surprise……ji…bulkul…

Mayank: ap humary baray mein kya sochti hain….

Nupur: ji….she was shocked

Mayank: humara woh matlab nhi tha….bs asy hi..hum ek aam ray jana chaty hain…humaray baray mein( I was just asking generally)

Nupur: oye tu ap kya election mein garay hony ka soch rahain hain

The giggled….

Mayank: asay hi raha kerain…achi lagti hain ap….

Nupur: she faintly smile….rembering last time whn she felt like this ……

Mayank: lo phir ab-ne-insha( a humour writer) se mir dard( a sad poet) mein tabdeel( change) hogi app

Nupur: laughed….ap ko urdu adab se lago hai

Mayank: buhat

Nupur: ap ny wataan( country) kyun chora….

Mayank: hum kuch kerna chatay thy apny ap….aur baba chaty thy k…hum woh keray jo un k hai….pata nhi us sab mein hamain apna wajood khota hoa lag raha tha…..aur app

Nupur: hum apna wajood talesh kerna chatay thy……

Mayank: tu woh tu waha bhi hosakta tha

Nupur: nhi..humari family kafi conservative hai….waha larki ghar se bahr bhi nhi nikalti ….per hum ….baat alag thi

Mayank: ghar walo ny roka nhi

Nupur: woh yeah haq kho chukay hain..

He really want to ask further but watching her smile complete vanished n a rage n distressed on her …he felt like changing her moment…

Mayank: dubai mein pani pori kahana kasa rahy ga…

Nupur: kyaaa…

Mayank: jii…..chalein hum ko khelatay hai….ap bhi kya yaad keray gi mayank ahmed khan se pala para hai…he laughed n she joined

Samrat: per mjhy koi nhi hara sakta…

Nupur: lagi sharat…

Samrat: lag gai………

---------------------------

He was siting on the rocking chair n was enjoying rembering each n evry moment each n evry expression of her…he was recalling from the first collision to todays a little sweet moment …..

Samrat: pyar hoa tu ekar kyun nhi hoa….

Mayannk; ap ko yaqeen hai ….k hum un se

Samrat?: ap ko kya lagata hai…..

Mayank: pata nhi woh kiya sochy gi….

Samrat: batein gay nhi tu ..pata kasay chaly ga….comon mayank….mubahbat k izhartion)( declar mein itni dair nhi keraty….na jany yeah ehassa( feel) waqt( time) dobara( again) dil mein jagay ya nhi…….aur phir woh insann ap ka samany hona hoo..yeah sun ny k lyan…..unhain bata doo…un se jawab nhi mango besahk….thora waqt day do…

-------------------------------

Diya: ksi hai app

Nupur: hum mazay mein…ap batay

Diya: nupur…ap alimony ke amount kyun choor rahin hain

Nupur: diya hum us shakas apny pass kuch nhi rekhna chaty

Diya: un se pasay lay ker kam as kam khyarat( charity) kerdian…un k pass bhi kyun rehain….kis k kam hi ajay gay….un k kam kyun aay

Nupur: pat nhi hamin….

Diya: pls….hum nhi chatay un ko kisi kism k favour milay

Nupur: thik hai…ap humain papers bachj dain hum sign kerdya ga…..aur ap ko authority bana dain gay…tu ap us ko kis zarrorat mand ko day dain,…..

Diya: thik hai..kal tak mil jay ga…..

Nupur: allah hafiz

----------------------

Mayank: nupur hum ap se mila chaty hain

Nupur: hum bhi mayank…..

Mayank: really ….hum intezar kerat gay…..he smiled in surprise…..n one step towards his love

Edited by drfizaahmed - 14 years ago
JaeeDevRathore thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 14 years ago
A very well-written update but this one left me with a sour taste in some places and in some places I feel proud of Nupur ...

Mayank's feelings, his words everything made me feel disgusted ...

Nupur's courage and her thoughts were so well brought out that all the disgust that came due to Mayank, was washed away ... Her independence, her fight for her identity and her courage to stand up for herself was beautiful ...

Fiza Di, a fab story indeed and I am eagerly waiting for the last chapter :)

Jaee D. Rathore
Edited by -jaee- - 14 years ago
Faria. thumbnail
16th Anniversary Thumbnail Stunner Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 14 years ago
edittt

fizuuu-hehehehehe hahahahahahha
accha ullu banaya tune- u r too smart yaar

hehehehe i thought mayank is nups hubby but now i found he is just a random Guy

i loved mayank and sam here- mayank is a true gentle man
loved mayur-sam relation
awww veryyy cute , nice and beautiful update

U r right nups is so strong- feel proud for her
r a Nups koi khelona ka cheez thodi hai----- uski bhi koi wajood hai
i really loved this story fizuuu
its awesome
loved it 2 d core
hope nups and mayur will happily start their life

Edited by -Faria- - 14 years ago
556195 thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
mai third hogayi 😔..mujhe nahi khelna😭
humesha mere saath hi aisa hota hai😒

ok now coming to the update
it was awesome🤗
OMG...samrat to mast item hai😆...mayank kitna sweet hai😍...kitna acha bhi..😳..you know this was the best part...it was so sweet and lovely...loved the slow and stady comfort between them...too good🤗...i was somewhere feeling ki nupur ka ex-husband mayank ka bhai to nahi...cause shilpa aunty mom hain to..ok i know its stupid but just came in my mind😆

nupur was right...she shouldnt take that stupid's money...us paise ko fek dena better hai...i wonder how will mayank react after listening nupur's past...but i know he loves her...this things wont affect his love for her...😳

pls continue soon api...
cant wait for the last part...and confession😍

love
tasfia

Edited by vampire_girl - 14 years ago
JaeeDevRathore thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
edited my comment of page 64👏
Wings-of-Fire thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
its been five months.so you are not going to end them up together?
well, i wont mind that as i dont know if nupur feels for him or not.then again, someday nupur has to move on, and the mayank who left her and the mayank who loves her are two totally different persons. love has made all the difference in the world. so i dont want this mayank to be punished for something his not accountable for.

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