The Apollonian and Dionysian: (AR) - Complete - Page 29

Originally posted by: Riddss

heyyy dear,
awesome part
thanks for PM.
continue soon
love
Riddss

Originally posted by: maanu

next comment here...........

heyya...

when i read abt the same town mystry ... for a sec i thought that padma and armaans dad must have been in a relationship...

but as soon as i thought that it clicked me that then armaan and ridzi wud become half brother sister..

so it was ruled out...

the part was simply outstandying..

the way u have dealt with ridzis character is amazing... the maturity u have brought into her is simply fantastic...

i guess u have made all characters strong enough to tackle cyclones...

loved the part... bu hated the cliffhanger...

so update really soon..

bye

Chapter 14: Destiny's children

"It's a simple coincidence Armaan." Padma tried to reason with him.

"There have been too many incidents in past few months were coincidences seemed like bad cosmic joke. The odds are too much and the stake is too high." Armaan replied.

"Okay, what do you want to know to clear this confusion?"

"Do have any medical case file or something as a reminder from his hospital visits? I have asked one of my father's colleagues to fax me any information the hospital has. It happened so long ago and the data storage used to be manual before so I don't know by when I can get information from him." Armaan replied helplessly.

"I did save some old documents just in case. Give me few minutes and I will see what I can find, okay?" Padma replied and excused herself leaving a stressed Armaan behind. He hadn't given much thought when Riddhima casually mentioned the name of the town she once lived in. But after few hours it had struck him how her biological father had died. He had died during a surgery which had gone wrong. The two years age gap between them also matched. When her father she was ten and when his father committed the mistake he was twelve so the time-lines matched too. That was the reason why he was being paranoid. If his assumption turned out to be true he would now be in a position which Atul ruled couple of months back. In this case the outcome was too drastic and it had set a chain of events in motion which had changed life of three families permanently. When Atul had confessed to Riddhima, he remembered her saying "Sins of father..." It however was something else in his mind - Sins of father shall be visited upon the son a thousand times. He was quoting bible which he had heard in passing and was always aware that he belonged to that category of sons who carried the burden of sins of their father's. But it came as a huge blow to find out that it was Riddhima who would be the middle of all the things. His father was responsible for changing life of a mother and her daughter. If that one event hadn't taken place then perhaps they wouldn't be here in the first place. Before he could delve into more scenarios of "What ifs", he shook his head and tried to untangle the knots which now gave him a massive headache.

After thirty minutes Padma came out with a file and handed it over to Armaan.

"I hope this helps", she said plainly and waited for him to read through the file. Armaan looked through the file twice to find the same thing written everywhere. The signature of anesthesiologist was indeed his father's. He had seen it many times in his report card and leave letters and it was imprinted in his memory permanently. The date of surgery coincided in the same week as his father's suicide. There was no doubt left. It was Riddhima's father who was his father's victim of negligence.

"What did they say about his death?" Armaan asked Padma.

"At first we were told that something went wrong during surgery. After couple of days, we heard that the anesthesiologist was fired from work because of negligence during the surgery. That was the reason hospital gave us. But it didn't matter to us because what was done was done. So we didn't sue the hospital or the doctor for malpractice or anything to get financial benefits though many of my friends and relatives urged me to do so. I didn't see a point." Padma replied.

"I am sorry", Armaan said hoarsely.

"Is it really your father Armaan?" Padma asked softly. She truly felt sorry for the man in front of her. When a man commits a negligent mistake people around him get dragged into the mess by mere association. It was collective Karma, Shashank once said. The effect of good and bad deed is not only effects the person who does the act but also people close to him; his family and close friends. What Armaan's father did had made Padma and Riddhima as immediate victims but in the end Armaan was also a victim of the act. Being related by blood and as a child of the man who did commit the mistake had an additional load of saddle to carry and the guilt. Being left alone in the family to deal with the entire mess had aged him sooner than most boys of his age. She felt sorry for the lost innocence and the grief stricken man who now sat in front of her who felt as guilty as his father would have probably did or may be even more. The question was how to break the news to Riddhima.

"Yes. It is my father. Even though my intuition said otherwise I wanted to believe that the whole thing was one big paranoid misunderstanding. I honestly don't know what to say." Armaan replied not looking at Padma.

"I knew that one day I would be in front of the family who was ruined because of my father. And for that day I had prepared hundred speeches and thought of million ways of apologizing. But now that it has really happened I don't know what to tell you. Somehow every grand speech seems insufficient and any grand action seems insulting to the memory of your late husband", Armaan continued. He suddenly felt aged by a decade and all the guilt he carried over the years hit him in that moment. He couldn't meet eyes with Padma as he could not see the accusatory eyes which blamed his family for their predicament.

"I am sorry, I cannot even apologize by looking into your eyes. I will take your leave now", Armaan hastily tried to make an exit but was stopped by Padma. She raised his head to level his eyes with hers and spoke.

"First of all Armaan, this has nothing to do with you. It is not your fault. And secondly, by knowing this nothing has changed between us. For me you are still the same Armaan who came into our lives as an onset of a pleasant dream. The truth about your father is something unfortunate and I accept it. But I will not allow that truth to change our reality. I hope you will always remember this." Padma replied in a firm tone. Armaan choked on a sob and he laid his head on Padma's shoulder completely weighed down by years of guilt and dissatisfaction.

"You truly are a wonderful woman. Please allow me to tell his to Riddhima myself." Armaan said once he recovered.

"Don't spend too much time harboring guilt stricken thoughts Armaan. It isn't healthy for you and it definitely will not be missed by Riddhima. By not acting fast enough you might mislead her of your intentions and affections." Padma warned. She wasn't only looking out for her daughter but also for Armaan whom she had come to see as a son. It wasn't fair for either Riddhima or Armaan if Armaan were to take drastic measures to fix an issue which was buried long ago. After Armaan left Padma made a call to Shashank to explain the situation. He hoped that the younger man came out of his self imposed misery soon so that Armaan can finally have the closure.

Though Armaan's therapy had progressed exponentially well Shubhankar was well aware that it will never achieve a closure unless Armaan spoke to the family affected by his father. But it came as shock to him after Armaan told him that it was Riddhima's father who was the victim. If the family were to be stranger then dealing with them would have been radically different. But in Armaan's case one wrong move might change the lives of people all over again.

"For past two weeks I have been trying to broach this subject with Riddhima Shubhankar. But every time I try to talk to her about her past something stops me from continuing further. She has this haunted look of loneliness which is a residue of her earlier childhood and my throat gets struck at that moment. I am not able to tell her the truth." Armaan spoke in a defeated tone.

"Have you spoken to Padma about this? I think she is the one who deserves the answer the most compared to Riddhima. Think about it. Riddhima was a child who was deprived of her father. But the role was soon filled by Shashank who practically bags Father of the year award every year. But Padma spent a considerable amount of time with that man. She would be the one most affected by his death and the one whose life changed drastically", Shubhankar reasoned. Armaan wasn't in a therapy session but was talking to Shubhankar as someone who would see the whole situation from a rational perspective and didn't have a personal attachment to the subjects involved.

"I spoke to her first. She didn't care about the fact that I am my father's son. For her it's simply a truth which is associated with her past. In the present it doesn't affect her or her acceptance of my role in her daughter's life." Armaan responded. He was still reeling in mild happiness when Padma has said those words to him. Once back home it was those words which had held him from going to the deep pits of despair and gave him a ray of hope.

"Padma is a great woman. She spoke well. You are not a bad guy Armaan and she is right. You are not your father's son." Shubhankar showed momentary emotion to the young man in front of him.

"That she is", Armaan nodded in acknowledgment.

"Your behavior is showing that you are weighed down by thoughts Armaan. Hasn't Riddhima noticed yet?"

"She has, of course. She is getting too good at observing others and deducing accurate conclusions by analyzing the delta of change. She hasn't questioned me directly though. She knows that I will tell her in due time but I think this time around she is losing her patience with me."

"Armaan its time you stop owning up the guilt which isn't yours and come clean. The more you procrastinate the more it will hurt her. I do not have to explain to you the adverse effect it may have on her therapy right? "

"I understand very well. I will speak to her soon." Armaan replied.

"Hello stranger." Armaan heard a voice calling out softly and looked up from the report he was reading. Riddhima stood at the doorway hands folded in front of her with a small smile. He couldn't help but smile back at her.

"We went to dinner four hours ago Riddhima. Isn't it bit harsh to call the person with who you share at least one meal every day a stranger?" Armaan replied closing the report after bookmarking the place he had stopped reading at.

"Care for a walk? It's a slow night." Riddhima invited and didn't respond or acknowledge his previous answer. He wondered of she wanted to talk to him about something specific and a pit settled in his stomach thinking about the topic she might choose.

"Okay", Armaan accepted the offer without any further questions. The walk was silent for few minutes as it was the case most of the times. Both collected their thoughts and allowed their persona to relax to what they truly were and then they spoke as two friends would and not as two doctors who were on a break. They avoided talking about work, hospital, cases or anything related to their field but spoke about random things like books, movies, food, friends, funny college incidents et al.

"Out with it Armaan", Riddhima said as they arrived near the vending machine. Armaan sighed and handed her a can of cola and motioned towards the deserted corridor. She saw his slumped shoulders and wondered what he was thinking for past few weeks which had made him look hollow and tired. Bags under his eyes gave away his sleeplessness and his usually reserved attitude had gone a notch higher and he had become quieter than he normally was. Their conversations had filled with patches of silences and unanswered questions. He looked more tired from near and sighed deeply as he sat down on the discarded cot which protested against their combined weight. She knew he was collecting thoughts before he could actually tell her what was bothering him so she allowed him additional moments of silence and sipped her cola in that silence.

"Do you remember you once said that my father's name seemed familiar to you?" Armaan asked her. She knitted her eyebrows and remembered the earlier conversation that had had about his family. When he had told her his father's name, she had mentioned that it was familiar but had later ruled out stating that it was a pretty common name. She nodded yes after a moment.

"You remember it because it was the name you heard frequently for a while when your father. It was the name of the man, the anesthesiologist whose negligence cost a life of a man. And that man was your biological father", Armaan said and hung his head. There was no sound in that corridor except for the creaking noise of the cot and a dull hum of the lights. Footsteps echoed in distance and the world where the two of them were was hung in suspension and was waiting for Riddhima's answer.

She looked at the broken man sitting next to her who had taken this issue too close to his heart and was spoiling his health and was also paving path of ruining his relationship with her. She ran her hands in his hair which made him look up and a lump formed in her throat when she saw tears in his eyes. She smiled.

"I already know this Armaan." She softly muttered and continued her ministrations with his hair. His expression was one of shock.

"How long have you known this Riddhima?"

"I felt the name familiar when you told me that day Armaan. I went home and checked the medical reports. It was indeed the same name. To rule out coincidence, I once asked Rahul casually where you were from and you had already told me when your father died. So I just had to add it all up to conclude that it was your father." Riddhima replied. He observed her for minutes. He didn't find any traces of anger or despair towards the news. He was surprised that she never brought the subject as it had been few months since they last had this conversation.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked her.

"I didn't see a need to. I knew that the possibilities of finding out the truth was high and once we got to know each other more, you would deduce it one day. It was a truth which didn't help anyone at that moment or even now for that matter. But I was wrong about that for which I apologize." Riddhima replied and wrenched her hands. He looked at her in bewilderment. He was actually the guilty one but she was the one apologizing. When did their role get reversed?

"Why do you have to apologize?"

"Armaan when I found out who your father was I didn't think it was that much of a big deal. I mean yes because of my father death everything changed for me. But my life after that wasn't exactly one of misery. I do have a life which most people envy of Armaan and I am very happy with the family I have been blessed with. When I decided to ignore the fact, I was only thinking of my mother and I. Have I told you Armaan that my mom and I never speak of our old life? I fully do not understand the relationship she had with my father because whenever I tried speaking about it, it made her uneasy to talk about the past. After few tries I completely stopped asking about my biological father and I personally never investigated any further. Due to this I didn't want to rake up old wounds and make her relive the experience by telling her about your father. At that time I found it more cumbersome to deal with aftermath of the truth rather than facing it. And as for me, it didn't make much of a difference. It stung a bit, of course. I am not that heartless. But after spending most of my life as Riddhima Gupta, my old life seemed like a distant memory. Sometimes that life feels like a story I have read rather than living it out in reality. So I ignored the fact." Riddhima replied and took a deep breath. She sipped her cola and took Armaan's hands in hers after settling down the can next to her. Armaan was still looking at her with a grim expression and she knew that she had to choose her next words very carefully because next words from her would decide the complete course of their relationship. She wondered why she ended up being in this predicament more often than anyone else. He gently urged her to continue by squeezing her hands.

"I was completely selfish by thinking about the consequences of the truth on my mother and I. I never once thought about how you would feel after knowing it. I was under the impression that I was protecting you from the guilt you would naturally feel if I told you about it. You were healing and we both were happy with the way things were progressing between us and I didn't want that happiness to have a gloomy edge to it. So I didn't tell you." Riddhima finished. Her hair fell across her face drawing a curtain which hid her from the world. She was disappointed in her own action and she sincerely felt to have wronged Armaan. When Armaan withdrew his hands from hers, she felt a thin veil of tears cover her eyes at his action and her conscience mocked her for her selfish attitude. Armaan put his hand over her shoulders and drew her near. She looked at him in surprise, bringing her face out of the curtain and the whole world to see.

"You are not selfish Riddhima. You were only trying to protect the ones you love, is it not?" She nodded her head.

"But Armaan, I forgot something much more fundamental than that. You were under therapy for the things that you underwent during your childhood. Your father's incident played a critical role in the trauma of your childhood and I know that you carried your father's guilt with you. The only way you would get a closure of maximum magnitude was when would face the victim's family and see for yourself how they are faring after the death of the man. Be it good or bad, you would realize the extent of damage your father would have done to the family, correct? Once you know about the family you could have started healing by seeking their forgiveness or helping them out or by finding some other solution. But I robbed you of that opportunity Armaan. For that I am truly sorry", Riddhima replied looking straight into his eyes. He simply nodded and stroked her side. She sighed deeply and rested her head on his shoulders. Both were lost in thoughts for minutes. Armaan looked more relaxed than before and Riddhima looked stressed.

"What next Armaan?" Riddhima asked sullenly.

"Next, we get back to work and go for a big breakfast and tell your mom everything. Well, I have already spoken to her but I guess we should let your father and Anjali know about it too. Secrets are not healthy for any relationship, is it not?" Riddhima smiled brilliantly at that.

"I think you guys should quit being doctor and write thrillers. Seriously, first it was Atul and now Armaan. Let's all of us take a day off and trade stories. Who knows who else is connected in weird manner", Nikki scratched her head and considered her own statement seriously.

After their talk Armaan and Riddhima had talked about with her family and then with extended family. Once Nikki heard the news she said she needed drink to digest these kinds of news as it felt that she was living in a thriller movie all the time. Atul had sniggered and everyone had kind of agreed to her statement. So the group found themselves welcoming yet another change and divulging of truth with open arms and few stiff drinks.

"I don't think it's a bad idea Nikki. Care to write our stories? You might make money!" Armaan replied.

"I reiterate. Your story is boring as there are no romantic mush-mush scenes or steamy ones. Who wants to read about depressing childhood and complicated characters?" Nikki responded.

"She does have a point", Anjali added as an afterthought.

"Why are you encouraging her?" Armaan asked. Anjali only smirked. Armaan had become the common target for teasing and Anjali and Nikki became pretty much merciless when it came to teasing him and to his annoyance, Riddhima provided the two with enough ammunition to annoy him even more.

As the evening progressed into the night, Nikki proposed a toast marking an end to lots of angst and complications.

"To rotten childhood, buried memories, lengthy therapies, best friends, old relationships and new love; may each and every one of us retain the friendship, happiness and love we are feeling this moment for the rest of our lives."

They clink their glasses and drink to that.

The End.

Author's Notes: This is the end of the series. The next chapter which I am planning to post tomorrow is not exactly a chapter for the storyline but a closing comment for the series.

But I would like to know if the readers are interested to read a proper epilogue. As in a chapter which happens five years later just to get a glimpse of their future. Please drop in a comment about it so that I can write and post it tomorrow. Else, I will go with my original plan of writing a closing comment about the title, storyline and the characters.

Also if there are any questions about the series, characterization or loopholes that you might have, please do ask. I will be happy to respond to your queries.

Thank you very much for all the support and encouragement.

Ling.