'Qayenaat' a MaYur FF - Completed - Page 66

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-SharNeela- thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago

Originally posted by: maria-soniarti

heyy Neela

Nice update....feel sad for Mayank...accoring to ur story..i dont think Mayank is selfish...Mayank selfish toh tab hota jab nupur ko us ke past ke bare main kuch bhi pata na hota...she knows very well he loves Nupur so much..aur Mayank ne yeah shaadi sirf us ki Maa ke liye ki hai..phir bhi woh nups ko koi takleef nahi dena chahta u show us nups character very caring n understanding thats why some readers thinks that Mayank is selfish...jabke Mayank bhi utna hi caring hai.its very difficult for Mayank to forget his Nupur aur is new nupur ko apni life main accept kare..yeah Shaadi Mayank ke liye sirf samjhota hai...she knows very well....lets see what happened next
waiting for next part



Agree! This is what I think...Mayank is just feeling insecure. He is living a life with another girl who socially..and through her physical presence in his house, in his room, is constantly threatening him and the existence of Nupur in his life and his heart. Through her noble and kind acts, Mayank thinks Nupur is trying to get him to forget his love and make her own place there and hence the bold reaction to her. She surely doesn't deserve such rudeness from him but then again Mayank can't help feeling and/or reacting that way.

But thats not it..the main reason why I asked you to give your comments on this part so that you can say something abt how Mayank is feeling (during convi with Diya). You said he has moved on after getting married...that he is not concerned abt Nupur and how she is doing but I guess through this update you can see that he is concerned but he has made a compromise. He has accepted the facts of his life but he has definitely not moved forward.

So here's my summary Maria, pyaar karnewale mile ya na mile doesn't matter but pyaar ka jazba kabhi badnaam nahi hona chahiye warna logon ko hamesha ranj hogi jab bhi unnka dil kisike liye dhadkega. Next time when I talk to you..abt this topic again it will be the last part of Qayenaat. Hold on to it till then 😊

-Neela

-SharNeela- thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago

Originally posted by: -shabnoor-

res ...in college now free lect !! 😳
*Edited*

di....hum kya kahein ?? kuch bhi samhaj nahi aaraha, sach keh rahe hai hum....aajkal aisa kyun feel karte hai jab bhi qayenaat padhte hai...hume nahi pata....

kehno ko toh bahot hai iss update mein, mayank ka chupa hua dukh aur dard....nupur ka caring n understanding nature.....aur zamane k taur tareke.....

lekin jab bhi, mein yeh padhti hoon....yeh sab automatically erase ho jaata hai, jaise inn alfazon ka kuch gehra aur alag hi matlab ho.....jasie kuch chupa ho......kabhi kabhi lagta hai mayank ko darr lagta hai ki woh jis kisi k bhi life mein jaata hai uski zindagi ko tabha kar deta hai......chahe woh uski nupur ki ho ya khud ki...ya phir uski naaye dost nupur ki....intezar jo kar raha hai woh uska tahe dil se.....lekin uss intezar mein bhi ek darr hai usse khone ka !

kuch ajeeb sa chal raha hai mere dil mein....bayan hi nahi kar parahe hum.....ek uljan mein phass gayee hain aur raste ki talash hi nahi hume....bus uss pal ko jee lana chahte hai, not caring about the consequences of the future.....jee bhar k pyaar kar lena chahte hai....shayad yeh lifetime bhi kam ho humare pyar ki yaadein ko quaid kar ne k liye.....sab k liye yeh pagal paan ki nishaniya hai, humare liye nahi....i'm living every moment of my time yet dying....pyar aur zindagi ke future ki fikar nahi hume....nahi aaj ki....ek ajeeb sa darr hai, kaisa yeh pyaar hai ? kaise yeh jazbaat hai ? jo alfazon mein bhi bayan nahi hote....silence also is not the key....

lagta hai bahot kuch keh diya....kehna chahiye tha ya nahi, nahi jaante....aur shayad yeh update se toh dur tak bhi nahi milte....aapne hi jazbaaton mein khoye hue hai...ek anjaana darr saaye ki tarah mand raha hai....kisko batayein kya karein? maan karta hai apni jaan ko gale laga kar ro de...lekin allah ko toh yeh bhi namanzur hai....sigh

alvida...najane kab mulakat hogi.....mayank k dukh mein khud hi kho jaate hai, kuch khabar hi nahi rehti hume.......

-Fatima




ab kya kahe aap se! This is the worst advice any writer can give a reader...so here it goes..Qayenaat parhna bandh kar do 😉 aap ko ban karna laazim hogaya hai ab 😆 See you in my next FF (which will be a comedy for sure)

-Neela
drfizaahmed thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago

Originally posted by: sharneel



wah...kya baat kahi hai Fiza...mohabbat ka na sahi aetbaar ka hi ho 👏 Thanx a lot for reading and commenting ...aap to ab regular hogayi hai. 😊

-Neela

koi shak hum tu nhi chorny waly is kahni ko....kya kery ap ka taraz-e-baya he kuch asa hai......
ap likhti rahain yun hi..yeahi dua hai
Mahima_13 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
nice update
rocking job
\
-SharNeela- thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago

Originally posted by: MjhtFan_Mahima

nice update

rocking job
\



abbay...late lateeeeffff...pehle LIKE button daba warna target nahi hit hoga. aur itne dino k baad kyun? tu to pehli hua karti thee na...kyaa haalat hogayi hai teri 😔

-Neela
-SharNeela- thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago

~~~~~Part 27: A Night to Remember~~~~~~

Days are now turning into weeks and weeks into months. Mayank and Nupur have become very good friends. The discomfort and insecurity they had between each other has dissipated and has now been replaced by trust and ease. Mayank has really opened himself up to her especially about his relationship with Nupur. There are times when he talks for hours about how madly they were in love with each other…things that they used to do together, places they have been and the promises they made, their hopes and their dreams. Then there are days when Nupur's absence would engulf Mayank in pain and he would confine into his new friend who on the other hand would do anything and everything to listen to him, to give him a shoulder to cry on or just be there for him. But then again, there would be days that would just belong to them only…a day for two friends tied with a knot so strong, a day when they would just relax and chill out, catch a movie or go for a stroll at the park. The complete opposite personalities that they possess make them enjoy their company a lot. Mayank being the usual kharoos, boring and conventional minded young man wondering around with a funny, light hearated young lady…perfect match but just for company as friends as there has never been a moment so far where they shared a typical moment like any husband or wife. Yet their life is no longer a lie or a pretention in front of others especially Shilpa who is ecstatic about how their relationship has developed over the months except in the bedroom. Often when they go out together, sometimes Shilpa joins them as well. All is going well until one afternoon when Mayank comes home from university and calls for Nupur…

M: Nupurr…..Nupuuuurrrrr
S: arre kya hogaya hai tujhe! hamesha ghorey pe sawar hota hai. kyun chilla raha hai
M: maa Nupur kahan hai? usse ek khabar deni hai
S: khabar to main tujhe doongi..(smirk on her face)
M: kya khabar maa? aur tum muskura kyun rahe ho?
S: khabar hi kuch aisi hai!
M: kya hai maa ab bolo bhi
S: Nupur ki tabiyet thik nahi hai (smiles again)
M: kya? kya hua usse? subhe to accha bhala dekh ke gaya tha! doctor ko dikhaya?
S: doctor ko dikhane ki zaroorat nahi hai. mujhe pata hai kya hua hai usse..(giggles)
M: maa Nupur ki tabiyet kharab hai aur tum muskura rahi ho?
S: haan..accha ab tu jaa kamre me. woh intezar kar rahi hogi


Mayank goes to his room and sees Nupur lying in the bed. He goes and sits next to her..

M: kya hogaya hai tumhe? maa ne kaha tabiyet thik nahi hai! phir na jaane kya kya ajeeb baatein kar rahi thee
N: kya baatein kar rahi thee?
M: yehi k doctor ko dikhane ki zaroorat nahi..unhe pata hai etc etc
N: (giggles) maa bhi..
M: maa bhi kya..tum bhi to maa ki tarha hass rahi ho. aakhir kya hua hai koi mujhe batayega bhi!!!!
N: woh subhe achanak mujhe chakkar agaye the..shayed thakan se hogi aur uss waqt maa ne mujhe dekh liya. unhe lag raha hai k ..
M: k….
N: ahem...hum maa bannewale hai
M: (instantly stands up) kya!! aisa khayal unnki dimagh me aaya bhi kaise! maa bhi…
N: oh hello…pati patni hai hum dono…shaadi ko mahino ho chuke..to agar woh aisa sochti hai to ghalat hai kya?
M: tum paghal to nahi hogayi na! bataya kyun nahi tumne k yeh sab jhoot hai
N: (stands up and puts her arms round him) haaye..to sach kar dijiye. aap ke paas poore 9 mahine hai (winks at him)
M: (frees himself) tumhe abhi bhi mazaak sujh raha hai? ab maa ko ek nayee bimari lag jayegi. ek naya natak aur shuru honewala hai. pareshaan hogaya main. situation kaabu me aa hi nahi raha
N: suniye…aap zara zara si baat pe itne pareshaan kyun ho jaate hai? main hoon na (smiles) jiss tarha se shuru se sanbhal ke aayi hoon sab kuch ussi tarha yeh baat bhi manage kar lungi. Don't worry! ab muskura mera shona (teases him)
M: phew…ok! suno..jis kaam k liye bula raha tha tumhe. meri ek friend hai Riya..aaj raat ko usski yahan party hai. waise to main party me nahi jaata per sab ne bohhhat zid ki…poori gang jaa raha hai. agar main nahi jaunga to bura maan lenge.
N: haan..to phir jayye na. humse ijaazat maang rahe hai kya? (smiles)
M: jee nahi…tumhe mere saath jaana hai
N: hum? hum wahan jaake kya karenge? kisiko to jaante nahi hai
M: haan magar tumhare baghair main bore ho jaaunga. mujhe yeh Samrat aur Diya ki tarha party karna nahi aata. to tum mujhe company de na..thik hai na? pleaseeee…ab mana mat karo yaar
N: accha baba thik hai.
M: Excellent! to main nahaa k tayyar ho jaata hoon. tum cupboard se mere liye kuch accha sa nikal ke rakh dena
N: jo hukum sartaaj..
M: (taps her on her head slightly) hammesha mazzak..

Its evening time! Mayank and Nupur have arrived in the party by a taxi. As soon as the taxi stops, Mayank rushes out of it and opens the door for Nupur..

N: haaye…perfect gentleman! kitni khush kismet hogi woh larki jisse aap milenge
M: Excuse me…tum bhool rahi ho k woh khush kismet larki tum ho
N: arre hamare aise kismet kahan…humain abhi tak aap mile kahan!
M: agar aap ki yeh flirting khatam hogayi hai to hum ander chale?
N: (smiles) zaroor…pehle aap!

They enter the club where the party is being held. A typical club scenario…loud western music, DJ on the roll and bunch of youngsters dancing to the beat. There are tables and chairs surrounding the dancing floor and in a corner there is bar. As soon as they enter, Riya sees Mayank and waves at him. She is wearing a short, sleeveless silver colour dress way above her knees and she is looking damn sexy. Soon she comes near to Mayank and hugs him tight.

R: I thought you wouldn't show up!! (kisses him on his cheeks)
M: well..tumne itne baar kaha hai main aakhir mana kaise karta! (smiles looking at Nupur). By the way, this is Nupur and Nupur she is Riya, my friend jissne yeh party host kiya hai aaj
R: Nupur?? ohhhh yes, Sammy bata raha tha. Your "so-called" wife, right?
M: what do you mean?
R: c'mon lets have some fun. (she drags Mayank to the bar)

Nupur finds a quiet corner and takes a seat but she can't help noticing Mayank and Riya at the bar where Riya is insisting Mayank to drink and he is drinking. While at it, Nupur can see how Riya is constantly brushing herself against Mayank's body. After a while, she drags him to the dancing floor where they start dancing holding each other. Mayank is stumbling and Nupur can understand he is drunk and perhaps he is not in the right state of mind to understand what is happening. Riya, on the other hand, is taking full advantage of this situation and getting closer and closer to Mayank. Nupur starts feeling restless…she cannot seem to bear it all anymore and goes to Mayank..

N: bohat ho chuka…ghar chaliye
R: o c'mon dear. abhi to raat shuru hui hain…party to jami hi nahi hai ab tak. abhi kyun ghar jaana
N: Mayank ji…hum keh rahe hai na, ghar chaliye. raat hogayi hai
M: haan haan..chalte hai. Bye Riya…Bye everyoneeeee..


Nupur drags him out of the party, calls a taxi and they leave for home. As they enter, Nupur is extra cautious that Shilpa should not see Mayank in this state. Quietly, she takes him to the bedroom and drops him in the bed, takes his shoes off and as she puts a blanket over him he grabs her hand…

M: tumhe pata hai k tum kitni khubsoorat ho?
N: Mayank ji…abhi aap hosh me nahi hai. chhoriye humain…


But Mayank doesn't let go instead he starts running his fingers through her hair and then her cheeks. Mayank pulls her closer towards himself…so close that Nupur can feel his breath on her neck. Nupur tries to free herself initially but then something comes over her as if she has frozen and has completely lost control over herself. He kisses her on her neck first…then brushes his nose on her shoulders as he runs his fingers on her back. Nupur closes her eyes! She doesn't know what is happening to her…why is she feeling so helpless! But then again at the same time…his touch, his kiss, being so close to him ..did she ever not want this? She lets her feeling sway her into Mayank's arms when suddenly he hugs her tight…and whispers into her ears

M: kahan chali gayi thee tum mujhe chhorke Nupur! ab mujhe chhorke kahi mat jaana..I love you..I love you…

That's when Nupur comes to her senses…she opens her eyes as a tear falls quietly on her cheeks.


-Neela

Edited by sharneel - 15 years ago
Shruti_0505 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
res

mayank ko bilkul bhi samajh nahi aa raha ki nupur usse kitna pyaar karti hain
waise nupur ko bahut ache se portray kiya hain is kahani main
i liked it

mayank ki mom mast hain ekdum mindblowing

waiting for the next update
n thanx for d pm
Edited by mayur_my_jaan - 15 years ago
sweetyprincess thumbnail
Posted: 15 years ago
hie

Ur ff is really AWESOME...

Ur really a great writer...u write soo beautifully...the way u describe the feelings ,emotions is just too good...

N ur shayri's are too nice..which is full of emotions...i really loved it.

Please add me to ur pm list.

-Laiba-
sizzysehrish thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
hey neela

kya kahu yrrr
jo bolu wo kammm ha
a fantabulous update yrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
reaallyyy reaaalllyy mind blowingggg
cant expressss it yyyyyyyyyyyrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
u rr awesuuummmmmmmm

loved the whole updtee
shjoo sweett yrr
mayur bonddd is gr888
but the end one was so heart wrenching na😭😭😭


poor nupur na
cont sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon
cant wait tro read more yrrrrr
plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Edited by sizzlingsehr - 15 years ago
-Samira- thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
mindblowing update neela mayur getting close good really fantastic part hun sorry didn't comment last part 😔 pakka i'll comment up coming part thanks 4 d pm 🤗

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