I walked into Elevate 3 nights later hoping to get Anjali off my mind.
Yuvi- Well if it isn't the newbie. (smiles) We thought you died. (punches Atul on the arm playfully)
Rahul- Hey! Where have you been? I thought we'd be seeing more of you. Not less. Did we say or do something?
I shrugged off their good-natured teasing. I was lonely. I missed Anjali, but she hadn't called since the night of our date, and I wasn't sure she ever would again.
Atul- I've been checking out my surroundings. So… who wants to dance? Jen?
Jenifer- You know it! (winks)
Rahul- You know, I'm glad you came down today because we're all planning to drive out to Badkhal Lake for boating next Sunday. Wanna come?
Atul- I don't know…
Rahul- Come on dude. We do this all the time. It's fun!
Oh what the hell? It wasn't like I had anything better to do anyway.
Atul- (smiles) Why not? Count me in.
Rahul- Cool!
Yuvi- (nudges Atul) Hey… who's the babe in the doorway staring at you?
I turned around and saw Anjali. She looked scared. Instantly, I lunged towards the door, pushing through the crowds of people dancing, and caught her in my arms.
Atul- You're here! I don't believe it!
Anjali- I… I missed you. And I've thought a lot about the things you said.
By that time, the rest of the group had crowded around us.
Borna- Are you Anjali Gupta? Oh my god! We were in 4th grade together! I wanted you to come outside at recess and play with me, but you never could. I used to go home and cry because I felt so sad about you not being able to ever come out in the sun. (eyes fill with tears)
Anjali- (touches her shoulder) I remember you. You were nice to me, and I used to watch you and the other girls play through the window. (smiles) Thank you. (turns to Sid and gives him a contemptuous glare) I'm Ghost Girl.
Sid- (blushes from embarrassment) Sorry about that.
Atul- (proudly) Guys… this is my girlfriend.
Rahul- You dog. No wonder you've been busy nights. (grins at Anjali) You dance?
Anjali- (looks at Atul knowingly and smiles) No, but I know how to watch.
I looped my arm tightly around her waist. I wasn't about to let go of her again.
I was soaring on adrenaline rush when I coasted in the driveway at 3 a.m. Things couldn't have gone better for me and Anjali that night. The people she'd shunned for so long had been fascinated and captivated by her. After sitting around and chatting, occasionally dancing, we'd headed down to Rahul's apartment, where we'd watched a movie.
When I finally took Anjali home, I could've sworn I'd never seen her happier.
Anjali- I'm glad I came tonight.
Atul- Just the first of many nights.
She gave me a longing look that I was still puzzled over, but she slid out of the car and darted inside her house before I could ask her about it. Now, back at home, I could only recall what it had felt like to be a couple, to have Anjali to wrap my arms around and snuggle against.
I quietly opened the door, slipped inside, and locked it behind me. Creeping towards my bedroom, I suddenly felt blinded as the room blazed with light. My dad sat in a chair, facing the door, looking quite displeased.
Omi- (low, firm voice) What's going on Atul?
I froze, then slowly turned to face the wrath of my dad. Busted.
Atul- Dad, it's not what you think.
Omi- Really? (stands and advances towards him) And you'd know what I'm thinking, how?
Atul- You're not thinking what I think you're thinking are you?
Omi- I don't know Son. I'm thinking that you have a lot of explaining to do regarding your whereabouts that I'm sure aren't limited to the surrounding area of our town anymore.
Atul- I um… I've been seeing someone… a girl.
Omi- Well doesn't that comfort me. Did I miss the part where you told me why it was necessary to see her after normal people hours?
Atul- She's not like other girls, Dad.
Omi- (concerned look) You're not… she's not…
Atul- (gasps, embarrassed) We're not doing anything wrong, Dad, if that's what you're asking me.
Omi- (takes a sigh of relief) Oh thank God!
Atul- Look, Dad, I'm sorry for worrying you. Um… can we sit down?
Omi- Are you going to justify your actions?
Atul- Every single one. Please sit. (struggles to gather his thoughts) Remember when I asked you about XP?
Omi- Yeah, and you told me that there was a girl… (stops abruptly) That's the girl you're seeing? Why didn't you tell me?
Atul-It took me a while to get her to date me. I sort of had to wear her down. She kept thinking my efforts were just a way of humiliating the "Ghost Girl."
Omi- (shook his head and rubbed his temples) Son, you should've just told me straight out. I would've understood, you know that.
Atul- Maybe, but it just seemed easier to keep it to myself. I didn't want anyone to know, just in case… you know… she rejected me. She was scared, Dad. Kids made fun of her when she was younger. I can talk to her about anything and everything. Even… Mom. (he squirms) You're probably thinking I just feel sorry for her, but that's not true. I like her a lot, Dad.
Omi- (pulls him close) I know Son. You would never get so close to someone just because you felt sorry for them. I know you better than that. I've raised you. I can understand how much you must like and trust her if you can talk to her about… Chitra. (lost look)
Atul- (studies his dad's expression) Dad?
Omi- (hugs Atul) I'm so proud of you, Son. Chitra would've been extremely proud. (pulls back and kisses his forehead, smiling) I want to meet her. Let's have dinner. Just the three of us.
Atul- (smiles) I'll ask her. Anjali's special, Dad. She doesn't deserve to have XP.
Omi- Just like you didn't deserve to lose your mom. Believe me, I know, Kiddo. Life isn't fair. No one deserves to have XP. (holds Atul close)
The night Anjali came to dinner, I worked feverishly to make the house safe for her. The summer sun didn't set until after 9:00 p.m., and I didn't want her to risk exposure to damaging light. I hung sheets across windows, turned off lamps, and lit candles. Dad set the table with our finest dishes and placed candles in silver holders. Anjali drove her own car over because the windows were specially tinted. By the time she arrived, the savory smells of roast chicken and potatoes filled the house.
Omi- So Anjali, Atul tells me you're taking courses at Delhi University. Do you have a major field of study in mind? (smiles as the three of them ate)
Anjali- Night work. (smiles, causing both father and son to smile as well) Maybe computer programming. I can work from home that way.
Listening to them gave me a massive case of nerves, but as the evening progressed, I saw that Anjali and Dad were getting on well, so I relaxed. Dad even surprised me saying that he'd clean up and we could go and have fun.
Anjali- Thank you for having me Uncle. (smiles)
Omi- Not at all. (smiles) Thank you for joining us. (hugs her) You're welcome here any time.
Anjali- (smiles deeply) Good night.
Omi- Take care beta. Good night.
Once we got outside, Anjali turned to me with a sweet smile.
Anjali- You're dad is so sweet!
Atul- I guess.
Anjali- I told my parents about you, and they want to meet you.
Atul- (getting nervous all over again) Alright. How about when I pick you up for our trip to Badkhal Lake?
Anjali- (smiles) Is this something I should've known about?
Atul- Not in particular. (hopeful look) So… will you come?
Anjali- (laughs) I don't know. It's so last minute. I'll have to check my schedule. (both laugh)
On the day of the trip, we decided that Rahul and the gang would go early to swim and do whatever else they had to do, and Anjali and I would join them after the sun went down. I arrived at her house to face her parents. Her dad was a big cricket fan, so we had plenty to talk about, but despite the ease of the visit, I saw their apprehension when it was time to leave. I wanted to assure them I'd take good care of Anjali but I don't think that would've done much.
Anjali- (sighs as they drove away) First-date jitters. I don't think they ever expected me to have a boyfriend from the daylight world.
Atul- (smiles) Well they'll just have to get used to me hanging around, because I plan to make a habit of it.
I reached over and took her hand, holding it for the rest of the long drive to the Lake. Just as twilight descended, we found our friends sitting around a small campfire.
Rahul- Romeo and Juliet sighting! (laughs and hi-fives Yuvi) Just in time you guys. Let the feast begin!
I watched Anjali, shy at first, slowly warming up to the others as they were to her. I wanted to protect her, put my arms around her, ward off any hurt that might come her way, and I would've challenged anyone who was willing to mess with her.
The night turned chilly, and Rahul rebuilt the fire. Soon couples began to pair off and wander farther down the beach. Those who didn't sat around telling ghost stories.
Atul- Come on. (takes Anjali's hand and leads her to a spot away from the others)
I spread our blanket and stretched out beside her. Together, we studied the stars. She pointed out the constellations, named them, and made me wonder why I'd never spent the time to learn about the night sky. I vowed I would learn all I could because night was her home in the universe. I wanted to be where she was, live wherever she did.
Atul- Are you having a good time? (rises up on his elbows and gazes down at her moonlit face)
Anjali- I'm having an amazing time! I never thought I'd be here, with them, doing this.
Atul- You mean enjoying the lake?
Anjali- No… belonging.
Atul- I told you you'd fit in perfectly. (smiles)
Anjali- I know. I'm sorry I didn't listen.
Atul- I'm sorry I tried pushing you into it.
Anjali- Hey… (moves closer to him) You didn't push me into it. It was my decision to come. I couldn't stay away.
Atul- From a normal life?
Anjali- From you.
My heart banged hard in my chest. The scent of her hair made me light-headed.
Atul- This is just the first of a hundred things I want to do with you.
Anjali- Beginning with?
Atul- (staring into her eyes) Beginning with this.
I leaned down and touched my lips to hers. She welcomed the kiss and allowed it to deepen. Suddenly it was as if a thousand fireworks had gone off in my head. Colors exploded and ricocheted in my mind. My body felt like it was on fire. She was moonlight and starlight to me… a night vision I wanted to hold on to forever. Something Mom would have called a Chandani Raat. She was a series of chandani raatein.
Atul- (whispers in her ear) I love you…
Anjali- (slides her arms around his neck and whispers) I love you…
Two days later, I was still flying high from the night on the lake with Anjali. So this was what love felt like… a rocket ride. My heart was so full of joy that I thought it would spill out of me or seep through my pores. I was humming as I prepared to go explore my town, when the phone rang. I picked it up and heard a woman's teary voice.
Woman- (sniffling) Is this Atul?
Atul- It is.
There was a long pause… or so it seemed.
Woman- This is Smriti Gupta. Anjali's mom. I got your number from her cell phone.
I felt my stomach tighten. Why would Smriti Aunty be calling me? Unless…
Atul- (panicky but firm voice) What's wrong? Is it Anjali?
Smriti- She's in the hospital. It seems she went out to Mehrauli late last night. She must've fallen asleep at the pavilion.
Atul- (feeling sick) What happened?
Maybe she fell into the Hauz Shamsi. Maybe she slipped while walking down the main staircase. She, herself, said the stairs were unsafe.
Smriti- She was alright… for a while. And then… (having trouble controlling her voice)
Atul- And then what?
Smriti- The sun came up…
Anjali had been found unconscious, lying on the ground of the pavilion with her arm dangling in the water of the Hauz Shamsi in the hot summer afternoon. Three men passing by the area had found her and immediately called for an ambulance. In the ambulance, the emergency medical team had pumped her dehydrated body full of fluids and rushed her to the closest hospital… Sanjeevani. She lay in the intensive care area of the burn unit with third degree burns over 80% of her body.
I drove like a madman through rush hour traffic to get there. Her parents were pacing the waiting room, distraught but subdued. Smriti Aunty surprised me by hugging me, holding on for dear life.
Smriti- She wants to see you.
Atul- Is she…? Will she…? (unable to say the words)
Smriti- Her doctors have no hope. She had no defense against the sun.
Refusing to believe what I'd just been told, I followed her parents to the bed that held Anjali's weak body. I couldn't even recognize her. She was swathed in wet compresses and lying on an air mattress that lifted her burned body off the surface of the bed. Thick pads covered her eyes… She was blind.
Atul- (bends down and smells the sharp aroma of medication and whispers in her ear) Hi baby.
Anjali- Atul?
Atul- I'm here.
I wanted to touch her, but I knew I couldn't.
Anjali- They've given me morphine. I feel like I'm floating. It doesn't hurt anymore.
Emotion clogged my throat. Is this how Mom felt when she was given morphine after her accident?
Atul- Why'd you go out there without me? You know I would've gone with you.
Anjali- I got an e-mail. Riddhima died. I only went out there because I wanted some time to think. It hurt so bad... my best friend...
Her voice dropped to a whisper as the pain of her loss overcame her. I knew that morphine couldn't touch that kind of pain.
Atul- You were so close to my house, baby. If you'd just come to me…
Anjali- I cried myself to sleep. When I woke up… I was scared, Atul.
I couldn't speak, imagining her agony as the sun crawled over the horizon and began to sear her skin. She'd been helpless.
Anjali- Will you stay with me?
Atul- (voice choking up) Where else can I go?
Dad walked in minutes later. In all the rush, I'd completely forgotten that my dad was the head of this hospital. I don't know why, but a ray of hope washed over me.
Atul- Dad?
Omi- (checking up on Anjali) Hey Son. (to Anjali in a soothing voice) How are you feeling sweetheart?
Anjali- I can't feel a thing Uncle. (smiles despite herself)
Omi- (winces, but laughs anyway) Good one.
Atul- (gritting his teeth) It's not funny.
Anjali- Hey… lighten up. So serious…
Omi- Atul's always been like that. Literature students. (smiles and then nods supportively at Atul) Okay Anjali. I'll be back to check up on you in a bit.
Anjali- Okay. Thank you Uncle.
Omi- (turns to Atul) Son, come outside.
Atul- I'm fine.
Omi- I need to speak with you for a moment.
Atul- (takes a deep breath then leans close to Anjali) I'll be right back, okay?
Anjali- (smiles) Okay.
I wasn't sure what it was Dad wanted to talk to me about, but I knew for a fact that if there was something I wanted more than anything in the world right now, only my dad could play a big role in giving it to me.
Omi- (puts his hand on Atul's shoulder) You okay Atul?
Atul- Dad… you HAVE to fix her! You're… you're the best doctor I know. You're one of the best doctors in the country. You've handled some of the most difficult and impossible cases ever. TELL me you can make her better Dad! (crying and begging, growing weaker) Please!
Omi- (pulls his son into a tight hug with tears in his own eyes) Shhh… Listen to me very carefully, Son. Do you remember what I told you about XP patients? They die at a very young age. Anjali is lucky that she lived past her 18th birthday. Atul, you've given her so much. Look at her. She's not upset. She has nothing to be upset about. She had you in her life. We're trying, Son. We're trying really hard… but we're beginning to lose all hope. She's gone completely blind. 80% of her body has deep, third degree burns. You and I can't even begin to understand how much pain she must've gone through. All I can say is, keep her happy. Be with her. She needs you more than anyone.
Atul- (crying with an angry expression) So that's it? You can't do anything for her? You can't save her?
Omi- Son…
Atul- Thanks, Dad. (storms back into the room wiping his tears away)
At that moment, I felt so much hate towards this place, this profession, and my dad. I know it wasn't in his hands, but I couldn't even think straight at the time. All that I could think of was that Anjali would no longer be with me soon. Too soon.
I walked into the cafeteria hours later after making sure that Anjali had fallen asleep. There I sat, trying to recollect my thoughts, forgetting all about the cup of untouched coffee that had by then grown cold. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked up to find my dad towering over me with a somber expression… it was way past his shift time. He should've been home hours ago. His eyes were red-brimmed from exhaustion, and I could see the pain in his eyes. The pain I knew too well to be the pain of how it had been for him that night when he'd sat next to Mom's dying body, holding her hand, and crying.
Omi- The pressure of waiting can be crushing, Son. You should take frequent breaks. Maybe go home and rest?
Atul- Real men don't leave, Dad. No matter how bad it is. I learned it from you. (smiles)
He started to cry and then he hugged me, but just as quickly pulled away.
Omi- You've never ceased to make me proud of having you as a son. (kisses his forehead) I'll be in my office if you need anything. (starts to get up)
Atul- Shouldn't you be at home Dad?
Omi- No, Son. I've taken charge of Anjali's case and I'm not going anywhere until I've done everything in my hands to keep her alive.
Atul- (hugs him tight) I'm sorry.
Omi- It's okay, Son. (strokes his head)
Atul- I love you Dad.
Omi- I love you too, Kiddo.
I watched him walk away, seeing his life's pattern for the first time. I was now the watcher, not the victim. Regardless, I wanted neither role.
Rahul came, and so did the others. They saw Anjali, one by one, to say goodbye.
Anjali- I had no idea they cared about me.
Atul- I told you they did.
Anjali- They never would have if it wasn't for you. (smiles) Do you know what you are for me?
Atul- What?
Anjali- My last wish.
Atul- Really? And how is that?
Anjali- The night before I met you, I asked God for a miracle. It was my last wish before… (stops short) After I got you, I never felt the need to ask for anything again. You're my everything. (smiles peacefully) I have one last wish now… Don't burn my body after I'm gone. The sun has burned me enough. I want to be buried. Forever under the sun without the fear of being harmed.
For the first time that day, I reached out and touched her. I stroked her hair and grabbed her hand… the only body part that hadn't been burnt because it had been dangling in the water. I gently kissed her hand, and I knew that even though she had been given a heavy dosage of morphine, she could still feel the kiss lingering on her hand. And even as she lay unrecognizable on the bed, she was still the most breathtakingly beautiful girl I'd ever seen. As if reading my thoughts, she gave me that heart-stopping smile that almost made my insides melt.
Atul- I love you Anjali…
The night she died, I was beside her bed. Across the room, moonlight trickled through slats in the blinds. I watched the light shift as I saw a shadow pass, and heard her take a breath, then… silence. I tangled my fingers into her hair, gently kissed her forehead, and walked out of the room, leaving her parents to mourn without me.
The drive home was quick because there was no traffic, and I followed the highway under the light of a full August moon. As I passed her house, I slowed stopping just long enough to stare out the car window at the brightly lit balcony far above the bluff.
Strangely enough, I saw something move. In the pale bisque-colored light, there were two figures, an old woman in a long dress and a girl with long hair. They hovered at the rail like pale white smoke, forms without substance, gazing up at the sky… soon joined by a third figure. The girl with long hair reached out to the third woman as she accepted her hand and embraced her. Anjali and… Mom… I rubbed my eyes and looked again. The apparitions were gone. I was alone in the moonlight… but I knew that Anjali was right. Mom left me so she could watch over my every moment, and she had accepted Anjali as her own… because she was mine.
I walked up the hill of the cemetery in the heat of the sun, a book clutched under my arm. Anjali's parents had given it to me after her funeral. They'd supposed it was mine, probably because once I'd written my name and number in it. I was glad to have it though, because it belonged to Anjali, the only girl I'd ever loved.
I'd gone to college, going through the motions of adjusting to a life without her. My friends had been very kind to me, understanding, but I knew it would be a very long time before I was ready to merge into the mainstream of college life.
Today, 10 years later, at the crest of the hill, I searched the grave markers and found Anjali's in the brightest, sunniest spot on the hill. Despite my sadness, I'm smiling, knowing that her parents had chosen this spot on purpose. Now Anjali rested in the rays of the sun for all time. No need to hide in the night ever again.
I sit cross-legged on the green grass. Soon, it would be winter and I looked forward to the cold weather because it would match the way my heart felt without her. I open the book to my favorite poem… a poem that I know was her favorite as well. She had the corner turned and our names were neatly written beneath the passage. I begin to read to her and almost get to the end before tears blurred the words and made them unreadable. I shut the book. No matter… I knew it by heart. I touch the hot, bronze metal of her grave marker, tracing the raised letters with my fingers and finish the poem for her from memory.
"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death."
That was it guys. I really hope you liked this piece. It's extremely close to my heart. I did know someone with this disorder. The youngest sister of one of my good friends died at the age of 12 from XP. She lived in a forest preserve area and at night, she liked to roam around in the area. One night, she fell asleep propped up against a tree, and that was it. We lost her. I think I dedicated this to the right person. I know Jen-Jen mentioned having a good friend with a mild case of this. Maybe this is from both of our personal experiences Jen. Love you dher saara!
-KomzEdited by AshiYuvi4life - 15 years ago
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
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