The story goes on II - FF *Last Part* Pg 60 - Page 4

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zooni.blue thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#31
hey congrats on ur new thread
iam new fan of MJHT
just started reading your fanfic about 3 days ago and wow completed it just now
must say ur a really talented and a gifted writer
looking forward to your posts
keep writing
debby thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#32
@kinnari.. Hi, welcome to IF.. thanks a lot for reading and liking my work.. it means a lot to me..!! 😊

@kamar.. Hey, thanks a ton for taking time out to read it.. am so glad u liked it.. keep reading. 😊


angelwingz04 thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#33
@debby thanxxx friends???
and i will be waiting for friday =]]]
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Posted: 16 years ago
#34
@angelwings
Friends! 😊 I am updating in a while.. hope u like it..!!
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Posted: 16 years ago
#35
Part 58:

Cut to: Inside the theatre
13B is what Samrat has bought tickets for and the movie is yet to start. He is siting beside Gunjan, who has Radz and Adi on her other side. Uday, Vatsala and Benji, Pooja are in the row in front of them. Uday is busy munching popcorn and making considerable noise. Samrat looks at him with a grin.

Samrat: lagta hai chashmish, tumhare bhai ko popcorn kuch zyada hi pasand hai.
Gunjan: (with a smile) actually wo ajkal fitness diet par hai. Kal hi keh rahe the ki popcorn sehat ke liye achi hoti hai.

Uday hears the word popcorn and turns around excitedly.

Uday: Gunjan! Popcorn ki baat kar rahi ho? Do you want some? (snatches the pack from Vatsala) yeh lo specially tumhare liye!
Gunjan: (looking around nervously) nahi Uday bhaiya, mujhe nahi chahiye.
Uday: nahi? Sam tu toh khayega na?
Samrat: (pushing the pack back) mujhe popcorn se allergy hai. Benji ko bahut pasand hai, use khila.

Uday grins broadly and turns back to offer Benji some popcorn. But courtesy Vatsala's enthusiasm about the starting credits - which her waving hands indicate - much of the popcorn sprinkles onto Benji's head. Radz and Adi cant help but giggle.

Radz: bechara Benji! Bin baat ke hi uspe popcorn ki barsaat ho gayi.
Adi: I am sure ab wo bhule bhatke bhi kabhi Uday ke saath movie pe nahi aayega.
Radz: waise jo bhule bhatke tum hamare saath aa gaye, mujhe acha laga. Thank you.
Adi: (with a smile) tumhe kisi ne bataya nahi? Mujhe clichs repeat karna acha nahi lagta. Dosti me no sorry and no thank you, okay?
Radz: (returning the smile) toh ab hum dost hai kya?
Adi: nahi hai kya?
Radz: just kidding Adi.. (looking at the screen) wow, finally credits khatam! Ab let me concentrate.. I LOVE Madhavan!

Cut to: Juhu Beach

The auto comes to a standstill and as Mayank counts money to pay the driver, Nupur finds it difficult to resist the urge to walk closer to the sea.

Nupur: jaldi karo na Mayank, kya baniye ki tarah tabse paise gin rahe ho?
Mayank: ek minute Nupur.. (to the autowala) yeh leejiye bhaiya -
Nupur: haan! Leejeye aur yaha se rafa dafa ho jaayiye. Wo toh acha hua tab mujhe Mayank ne rok liya. Morena me agar aap kisi ko aise faltoo dhoka doge na toh chutti ho jaayegi by God!
Autowala: (stunned) dhokha? (To Mayank) Saab, maine kisko dhokha diya?
Mayank: aap jaayo na bhaiya. (getting hold of Nupur's hand) Chalo heroine, puri sham bargain karne me nahi bitani.. tumhe mujhe notes batane hai.
Nupur: (sighs) haan haan, itna dohrane ki zarurat nahi hai. Chaliye, padhai karte hai!

Cut to: Inside the theatre

Everyone is engrossed in the movie and have varied expressions on their faces. Uday's eyes could almost pop out of their sockets, Benji's are much the same. Pooja seems the calmer of the lot and Vatsals still gives food the priority. Radz and Adi are giggling intermittently, none of them the least scared. A particularly horrific sequence takes Gunjan by surprise and she tighly catches hold of Samrat's hand. As the scene shifts, she realizes she is still holding his hand and he is looking at her silently. She abruptly lets go but doesn't drop her gaze.

Gunjan: sorry, main darr gayi thi.

Samrat nurses the hand she had held with his other hand and wears a pained expression. Gunjan is worried.

Gunjan: (slowly) k-kya hua?
Samrat: tumhare nails chashmish, mere haathon ko talwar ki tarah cheer gaye!

Gunjan is shocked and quickly lifts his hand to inspect the wound. But when she sees her own hand on his, she realizes that her nails are too small to hurt - she had clipped them just a day back! She looks at him sternly, a look he returns with a grin.


Samrat: tumhari taang kheech raha tha Gunjanji, ab toh has do. Dekho toh saamne ek aur bhoot aa gaya hai!
Gunjan: sabse bada bhoot toh mere saath baitha hai. Usse darawna kya hoga?
Samrat: main aur bhoot? Ab tak tumhare pyar me jaan toh di nahi, bhoot kaise banu?
Gunjan: kya??
Samrat: shh! Movie pe concentrate karo chashmish, mujhpe nahi.

She instantly sits straight and focuses on the movie while Samrat cant stop chuckling.


Cut to: Juhu Beach

Mayank and Nupur are sitting side by side on the beach, Nupur holding a notebook in one hand and a pen in the other. Mayank is giving her strained concentration, impressed with the amount of work she has put in.

Nupur: oh haan Mayank, Saxena Sir keh rahe the ki chapter 2 wali theory toh exam me aani sureshot hai. Maine unke points alag se yaha likh diye hai. Agar samajh na aaye toh puch lena.. main bata dungi.
Mayank: thik hai, main dekh lunga.
Nupur: (flipping through some other pages) aur macro economics wale notes toh dekh liye na humne? Kuch doubt ho toh puch lena. (continuing to flip) bas, mere khayal se sab cover ho gaya hai ab..

She looks up from her notes to see him staring at her.

Nupur: kya? Aise kya dekh rahe ho?
Mayank: soch raha hu ke tum baar baar doubt aur problem ki baat kyun kar rahi ho?
Nupur: (hesitantly) nahi.. wo isliye ki koi kami reh gayi ho shayad..

Mayank takes the notes from her hand, rolls them up and hits her on the head lightly.


Mayank: agar in notes se main padh nahi paya Nupur, toh kami mujhme hogi. Itne ache notes main khud hota toh bhi shayad nahi banata.
Nupur blushes and then folds her hands in prayer.
Nupur: thank you bhagwan, Mr Perfect khush huye. Meri mehnat safal hui.

Mayank shakes his head, grinning at her melodrama, when he suddenly sees a couple arguing nearby. Nupur catches him looking elsewhere and turns his face to her forcefully.


Nupur: main yaha itni mushkil se tumhe pure din ka kaam samjha rahi hoon aur tum aur logo ko dekh rahe ho?
Mayank: nahi Nupur, main toh -
Nupur: (shocked) waise tum dekh kise rahe the? Hai kaun waha? Ruko toh zara main -

She stands up to go and inspect but Mayank pulls her back again.

Mayank: tum kabhi meri baat puri kyun nahi sunti? Main un dono ko dekh raha tha.

He turns Nupur's head in the direction of the arguing couple, who now seem to have made up.

Mayank: tumhe yaad hai, jab hum pehli baar yaha saath aaye the tab bhi do jhagadte logo ki sulah karayi thi.
Nupur: haan! Waise sulah toh maine hi karayi thi, tumpar chodte toh aaj bhi lad rahe hote woh.
Mayank: aur tumne meri shirt ko paani se nehla diya tha.
Nupur: beach par paani se hi nehla sakti thi na, mere dhudh ke dhule Mayank!
Mayank: (laughs) tab hum dono kitna jhagadte the na Nupur?
Nupur: (smiles) tab? Ab kya kam jhagadte hai? Par koi baat nahi.. kehte hai jhagdo se pyar badhta hai.
Mayank: oh! Ab main samjha.
Nupur: (raising an eyebrow) kya samjhe?
Mayank: pehle batana chahiye tha na Nupur, jhagda karta hi nahi tumse! Phir pyar toh nahi hota.
Nupur: pyar toh tab bhi hota Mayank, hamare naseeb me hai na, ek dusre ka saath nibhana.
Mayank: tum naseeb ko maanti ho?
Nupur: bilkul! Ab dekho na, yeh naseeb hi toh hai ke main aur Gunjan Morena se Mumbai aaye, yaha tumse mulaqat hui, tumse pyar hua.. tumhari jagah koi aur bhi toh ho sakta tha na?
Mayank: mera toh pata nahi, par tumhari jagah kabhi koi aur nahi ho sakta.
Nupur: (entwining her fingers with his) how sweet Mayu!
Mayank: oh haan, Mayu se yaad aaya. Nupur mujhe lagta hai hume Ma ko hamare baare me bata dena chahiye.
Nupur: (cautiously) unhone kuch pucha kya tumse?
Mayank: nahi.. par I am sure unhe shaq hai..
Nupur recalls her last conversation with his Mum.
Nupur: mujhe bhi aisa hi lagta hai..
Mayank: unse kuch chupana acha bhi nahi lagta aur bahut zyada mushkil bhi hai!
Nupur: (dreamily) Ma se kuch nahi chupta na Mayank.. filmo me dekha hai.. zindagi me is jazbaat ko jeene ka mauka hi nahi mila.. (excitedly) Par haan Gunjan se chupana bhi bahut mushkil hai by God! Acha hai use pehle hi bata diya tha maine!
Mayank holds on to her hand tighter.
Mayank: mauka kaise nahi mila - yaad hai humne decide kiya tha ki Ma hum dono ki hai?
Nupur: arey haan! Waise bhi shaadi ke baad wo mera hi support karengi, dekh lena. Phir hum dono, Gunjan aur Bauji milke tumhari jo khichayi karenge.. mujhe toh sochke hi maza aa gaya! (softly) Tum bhi toh apne Papa ki kami mehsoos karte hoge na? Aunty ne mujhe bataya tha ek baar..
Mayank: (putting on a guarded stern tone) aisa kuch hai jo Ma ne tumhe nahi bataya ho? Unki toh main khabar leta hu ghar jaakar.
Nupur: arey mujhe nahi batayegi toh kise batayegi? Aur Mayank Sharma, tum upar se jitne bhi rough and tough ban lo, andar se bahut naram ho. Mujhe pata hai.
Mayank: aisa hai kya Miss antaryami?
Nupur: aur nahi toh kya? Ab agar Bauji hamare saath nahi hote, toh mujhe sochke bhi darr lagta hai ke humpar kya beet ti. Aur jo tum aunty se itna pyar karte ho, wo dono ka share hai na. Unka aur tumhare Papa ka bhi.
Mayank: (looking towards the sea) Papa ko guzre toh bahut saal beet gaye Nupur. Ab sochta hu toh yakeen bhi nahi hota ke wo kabhi hamare saath the. Pata hai unhe bhi tumhari tarah filmo ka bahut shauk tha.
Nupur: sachi? Agar wo hote toh hum dono ki khub banti, hai na?
Mayank: hmm.. 'agar' woh hote. Mujhe yeh word pasand nahi.
Nupur: Mayank, Bauji hamesha kehte hai ki hamare apne marke bhi humse juda nahi hote. Dil se unse baat karo toh wo sunte hai aur khush bhi hote hai. Tumhare Papa bhi hamari baatein sun rahe honge aur apni hone wali bahu ko dekhke muskura rahe honge.

Mayank slowly smiles his special Nupur smile - the one that reflected all the love he felt for her.


Nupur: smile ke liye shukriya! Ab apki ijazat ho toh hum icecream khaane chale? Mera bahut mann kar raha hai!
Mayank: lekin agar icecream wale ke paas chutte nahi ho, toh tumhe ladne ki liye chodke main ghar chala jaunga. Kal subah tak toh free ho jaogi na?

She raises the notebook to hit him but he manages to have a narrow escape, laughs and goes to the icecream stall.

Cut to: Later that evening - PVR Andheri
The movie is over and everyone is coming out of the theatre, chattering.

Uday: guys! Aaj raat toh main so hi nahi paunga. Soya na toh sapne me wo sabse darawna bhoot hi aayega!
Benji: darawna bhoot? (feigning surprise) Tu bhi tha film me? Maine dhyan nahi diya.
Uday: Benji, bakwaas mat kar.. maine dekha tha tujhe.. ullu jaise aankhen badi badi karke dekh raha tha.
Radz: (cutting in) movie me darne jaisa tha hi kya? Hume toh bahut hasi aa rahi thi! Kyun Adi?
Adi: haan, film dekhkar bhi aur tum logo ki kartoote dekhkar bhi.

He winks at Radz and they both start laughing again, even as Uday and Benji make sullen faces. Samrat tries to cheer them up.

Samrat: chill guys. Radz toh bachpan se hi aisi hai. I am sure pichle janam me bhoot rahi hogi.. tabhi ise bhooto se darr nahi lagta.
Radz: han toh pichle janam me bhi tum mere hi bhai the. Matlab tum bhi bhoot the! Khoon peene wale!
Uday: (clutching Samrat) tujhe toh darr laga na Sam? Bol na!
Samrat: Samrat kisi se nahi darta Uday. Aur waise bhi main kisi ko sambhalne me zara busy tha.
Adi: (winking) kise?
Gunjan: uh.. Samrat.. mujhe lagta hai hume chalna chahiye. Der ho rahi hai.
Samrat: jo hukum mere aaka!

Samrat and Gunjan are the first to leave, his bike speeding away into the dusk. Benji pushes everyone but Radz and Adi into his car.

Benji: you sure tum chali jaogi? Tumhari is (patting the bonnet of her red Santro) khatara par mujhe kuch khaas bharosa nahi hai.
Radz: teri toh - pata hai Adi, do mahine nahi hue nayi gaadi mile aur ise yeh shaitan khatara keh raha hai?
Benji: acha acha.. ab lawyers bulane ki zarurat nahi hai.. main chalta hu.. (looking inside his car where Uday is frantically searching for his cell phone) kayi namuno ko ghar chodna hai. Samrat toh farar ho gaya, maukebaaz kahin ka!

He bids them both goodbye and leaves.

Radz: so Aditya jee, kya apko Radz ki khatara ki savari nahi karni? Ya raat bhar yahi rukne ki irada hai? (looking around) Waise tum aye kaise the?
Adi: arey mat pucho.. bike pe aa raha tha, beech me usne saath chod diya -
Radz: kisne?
Adi: bike ne, meri tubelight!
Radz: (chuckles) oh!
Adi: phir rickshaw leke kisi tarah yaha pahucha aur dekha maharani aayi hi nahi. Par.. acha hi hua nahi aayi..
Radz: kyun? Wapasi ke rickshaw ke paise bach gaye isliye?
Adi: haan woh bhi hai! Par tum sab ke saath bahut maza aaya.. khaas kar hum dono ne jo bhooton ki band bajayi, main darr raha tha wo hume theatre se na nikal de!
Radz: (laughing) maza toh mujhe bhi bahut aaya.. isliye toh tumhe free lift offer kar rahi hu.. consider yourself honoured!
Adi: (bending a little) privileged madam! Aur Pragya se toh phir kabhi mil lunga hai na?
Radz: (to herself) soch rahi thi kitni der bina uska naam liye guzar sakta hai.. guess time is up.
Adi: (waving a hand in front of her eyes) hello? Kaha kho gayi?
Radz: kahin nahi.. ab chale?

As Adi looks a bit lost, she forcefully pushes him into the seat and they drive away.

Cut to: Juhu Beach
The dusk is gradually giving way to night and the stars have begun to appear on the sky overhead. Mayank and Nupur are slowly walking by the beach, close but not touching. Their hands brush against the other's now and then, almost in sync with the crashing waves.

Nupur: Mayank, tumhe sunrise zyada pasand hai ya sunset?
Mayank: (surprised) tumne kise banaya hai?
Nupur: (making a face) main kya bhagwan hu jo yeh sab banane lagi.. batao na please.
Mayank: dono ki apni importance hai..
Nupur: (rolling her eyes) tumse toh aise hi answer ki umeed karni chahiye. Pata hai pehle mujhe sunset se kabhi kabhi niraasha hoti thi. Ke din khatam ho gaya..aur agli subah ka kya bharosa? Tumhe kabhi aisa nahi laga?
Mayank: nahi. Kabhi nahi.
Nupur: (sighs) haan ab tum toh insaan ho hi nahi na.
Mayank: (smiles) dekho Nupur, maine hamesha har din is vishwas ke saath jeeya hai ke mehnat karunga toh khush rahunga. Phir chahe din ho ya raat, kya farak padta hai?
Nupur: (enthusiastically) haan. Waise bhi SRK ne kaha hai, ache logo ke saath acha hi hota hai!
Mayank: (resignedly) SRK ne kaha hai toh pathar ki lakeer hogi.. bharosa kar hi lo. (with a broad grin) Aur Nupur ko tension lene ki koi zarurat nahi, Mayank Sharma ka saath ache acho ko nahi mila aaj tak!
Nupur: milta bhi kaise? Nupur Bhushan ke bhagya me jo likha tha! Niraasha ki wajah toh sach me nahi hai tumhare paas.. kitne lucky ho tum by God!

As Nupur goes on with her exaggerated raving, Mayank slowly gets hold of her hand and places her palm in his. She is taken by surprise.


Mayank: tumse milne ke baad niraasha ki koi gunjayish sach me nahi hai Nupur.. kyunki mujhe pata hai kal subah, parso subah aur aane wali koi bhi subah, tumhe mujhse dur nahi karegi. Hai na?

Nupur blushes a deep red as she senses him looking straight at her. Avoiding his gaze for a while, she cant help but think how much love has changed Mayank. Though he usually wasn't too vocal, but when he was, she could almost physically touch the depths of care he felt for her. She knew how different they were, in the way they thought and behaved, but she couldn't thank her stars enough for bringing him into her life. Her life before meeting him now seemed to be a mere build up to meeting him. He was constantly in her thoughts and her dreams. Even after so many days of togetherness, she tinged each time he touched her or held her hand or even whispered in her ears. Life without Mayank seemed an impossibility, a scenario she told herself would never come.

Mayank lets go of her hand and claps both of his loudly. She snaps out of her thoughts at once.


Mayank: tum Mumbai me hi ho na? Kahi Morena wapas toh nahi chali gayi?
Nupur gives him a light smile and doesnt respond.
Mayank: tumne mere sawaal ka jawab bhi nahi diya..

This time Nupur doesn't avoid his gaze but looks directly into his warm, intense black eyes.


Nupur: tumse dur karne ke liye agar koi subah ho na Mayank, toh main wo pal jeeyungi hi nahi. Ab toh puri umar hum dono ko saath bitani hi padegi, agle janam me re-evaluate karenge ok?
Mayank: (grins) deal!

As they laugh together, another strong wave hits the shore...


~~
This is the first update for the new thread and I am a little apprehensive..
I hope I have lived up to expectations...do let me know if you guys liked it or not.. 😳 😊


Edited by debby - 16 years ago
Anhdara13 thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#36
What a part Debby, what an amazing, breathtaking part. Wow, just the right amount of SaJan and MayUr, with interspearsing of all others I absolutely adored it!
SaJan are still in the initital awkwardness on Gunjan's part, because she still has not come to terms with her feelings for Samrat, and I love the way you have Samrat taking advantage of that by teasing her. And still, despite all this, she is comfortable enough to go home with him on his bike.
And MayUr, by God, what scenes you wrote! Words fail me at expressing how moving and touching they are together. Those two, it seems could weather any storm, and anything together. Nothing will tear them apart.
One question though, how'd you know that I love Mahadevan? Because I do. A lot. I love the budding relationship between Radz and Adi.
All in all, an amazing part. You outdid yourself!
Love,
Radz
pigbelly4myfeet thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#37
Debbyjiii!!! 🤗 Ahhhhhhh the best update ever!!! *big long happy sigh* It was perfect!! It had cuteness, romance, humour everything! You know I've been studying all day and this is such a great treat!! You are so great with words Debby...you always find the right words to touch my heart...no jokes.
Ok so first I wanna say that I too love Madhavan!! 😍 lol. and this movie is it actually out right now....I never know which desi movies are out cuz here the only way I watch hindi movies is when my uncle gets the pirated versions for us cuz there's no theatre that plays indian movies. And he brings like these whole bhandaar of movies at once whatever new movies the dukandaar has he brings all of them!! And I haven't gotten time to sit and actually watch a hindi movie for ages so now I have this whole pile of movies sitting at my house just dying to be watched. So that's my plan after my exams is to just sit and watch all these movies!! ahh im soo excited for that!! lol....
*ahem* sorry I got carried away there....don't worry I'm gonna talk about your update only...haan...toh I love Radz and Adi's characters btw!! They're so real and cute. And awww Uday is so adorable!! lol and Benji's character is done so well by you. And the Sajan part was really cute too when Gunjan got scared.
My fav. line though was when Nupur says "Kyun banaye ki tarah paisse gin rahe ho" 😆😆 Don't know why but I completely cracked up at this!! It seemed like such a Nupur thing to say!! And another fav. was when Mayank says "Agar ice cream walon ke pass chanda na hua toh tum unse ladne lag jaogi......subah tak toh free hojaogi na?" lol This line was so Mayank.
And mannn I loved the whole beach scene waisse. I loved how you contrasted it with the beach scene in the show. That was so cool. About the arguing couples and all. That was a good touch and it was cute to see MN remembering their previous moments together. And the best part (I think I've said this many times already...) was the ending....*happy sigh*. It was actually the perfect ending Debs. I loved how they were talking about the sunset/sunrise and how it lead to their future. That was such a great visual effect Debby. Very well described setting- I was totally picturing a sunset and them talking about their future. And what a great metaphor too....like the sunsets/sunrises their future will also have a new subha and raat everyday together.....ok that came out really weird but I hope you got what I meant. And how Mayu smiles and says "deal"...too cute for words Debbyji....tussi te kamaal kitta!!....I'm sure you're soo bored reading this right now....so I'm gonna stop....it's like raat ke 1:30 here so if I'm sounding really weird please mujhe maaf karde haan Debs?
Aww that was an awesome update Debbyjii!! I completely loved it!! Now I can sleep and dekh happy sapne. Love youuuu!!! 🤗
Edited by cute2stay - 16 years ago
TINAMALHONTRA thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#38

Absolutely FABULOUS PART debby
Highlight was the beach scenes between Mayu......This was a long update wasn't it........
But what an update....And don't worry u haven't let any of us down........U have started the new
thread with a bang........Ok now abt ur update.........A very good selection 13B.....and the way u showed everyone's Darrrrrrrrrr😆.....Leaving Adi and Radz and ofcourse Samrat.........But in the whole update I loved Mayur's part....They were brilliant....The lines u used to describe Nupur's emotions
were truly touching.....And Mayank never is so vocal but Nupur's right whenever he is its touching...
even when they were talking abt his father. One request do remove the awkwerdness from Gunjan's part so that Sajan would be as interesting as Mayur....Do pm me in future too
Update soon
Love
TIna
Edited by TINAMALHONTRA - 16 years ago
jyothi_cool thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#39
wow debby awesome part loved it cont soon
Let-It-Go thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#40
by god debby
it was amazing
loved it..........everythng seemed soo serene and beautifull....
i am still in wonderland.
it was awesum awesum, awesum
loved it
thanx for the pm and do continue PMing me
ur short poetic verse really touched me.,u made me feel special yaar
thanx a tonn...........u made my day more beautifull

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