Part XXII
Armaan and Atul were sitting and chatting in the council room when Anjali walked in. They had their first class only around 10 o'clock, so Atul and Armaan had decided to come in early to discuss their corporate submissions. Atul smiled as he saw Anjlai- she had obviously taken extra care over her appearance this morning and she was looking very fetching.
"Hi Anjali, you are looking good this morning! What's the occasion?" Atul teased her and she came in and gave him a hug.
"Good morning Atul…..nothing really….just that I need all the courage that I can gather…thought this would help….." Anjali remarked as she turned to look at Armaan, "Hi Armaan…"
"Hi beautiful!" Armaan got up and gave her a hug, "Atul is right, you are looking really good! And what is this about; you are a tough girl, why do you need courage?"
"Thanks Armaan, that's sweet of you…I am good…sometimes one needs all the help one can get" Anjali's spirits soared at Armaan's words; so he was not mad at her. For a moment she was tempted to forget about apologising to Ridhima. They seem to have forgotten her outburst. If Armaan and Atul were fine with her, did she really need to? It would save her the embarrassment of talking to Ridhima; then she admonished herself. This was not about Armaan or Atul or even Ridhima. This was about herself and what she did not want to become
"Anjali…"Armaan held her back as Anjali started to leave, "I need to talk to you…do you have the time now?"
Atul smiled as he heard Armaan, he knew his faith in his buddy was not misplaced. He started to get up when Anjali stopped him, "Its ok Atul, you don't have to go". Atul shook his head; she obviously thought that Armaan was referring to the incident involving Ridhima, but he was pretty sure that Armaan would bring up Atul's conversation with him and he wanted to save them both the embarrassment of discussing this in front of him. There were some things that best remained said privately, no matter how close friends were.
As Atul started to walk out of the council room, he was surprised by a loud hi! He looked around to find Ridhima and Muskaan sauntering towards him. "Hi Muskaan, hi Ridhima…how are you guys?" he was surprised to see Ridhima so cheerful. Really the girl was amazing, no wonder she endeared herself to everyone, you can't help but want to be around someone with a sunny disposition who was like a breath of fresh air. Before he could say anything, Anjali surprised him by stepping out and calling for all three of them to come in. He could see the brief flicker of surprise on Ridhima's face, saw Muskaan give her hand a squeeze followed by an imperceptible tilt of her head as she urged Ridhima to go in.
Armaan noticed the look of discomfort on Ridhima's face as she walked in and he instinctively started to get up when Anjali spoke up "Hi guys, how are you? I am glad to see you here Ridhima, I needed to talk to you…."
"Really, you mean there is still something that you have to say to her after yesterday?" Muskaan reacted before Ridhima could say anything.
"Muskaan……" Ridhima admonished her as Muskaan stood defiant, her hands on her hips, looking at Anjali disdainfully.
"It's ok Ridhima, if I was in her place, I would react the same way…guys, no one has to leave, whatever has to be said can be said in everyone's presence"Anjali said quietly as Armaan an Atul started to get up. "I am sorry for what happened yesterday Ridhima, I had no intentions of belittling what you said…I may not agree with what you said, but I should have been a little more circumspect in my response. My apologies for the distress my words may have caused you" she completed looking at the floor.
Ridhima was surprised. She had not expected an apology from Anjali; here she had been planning to catch hold of Anjali and ask her for the reason for her outburst. This was a courageous and nice gesture which she felt compelled to reciprocate; but that still did not answer the question why. She still wanted an answer to that "why", but now was not the time nor place.
"Thanks Anjali, that was really very sweet of you…don't worry, no offence taken….it was not a big deal…you can always have dissents amongst friends, can't you? Its over and done with, lets just leave it behind us…" Ridhima held out her hand, and the two shook hands while Muskaan looked on sceptically.
Armaan got up and gave Anjali a hug, "that was a wonderful gesture my girl…and since we are on apologies, heartfelt ones for last evening at the lecture…I am sorry I behaved like a - " while Muskaan and Ridhima looked on quizzically.
"Armaan, please don't apologise…we all do silly things that we regret later…the important thing is that we are friends…" Anjali stopped him
"…and will always remain….You are one of my closest buddies Anjali and nothing can change that…and since we are on the subject of apologies, I owe you another one….maybe we can catch a coffee and talk about it later" Armaan smiled at her as Atul nodded his head approvingly.
"Sure…" Anjali smiled as she came and slid her arm through his, "now or later?"
"The earlier the better…fancy a cup now before the lecture? Common room?"
"We'll see you guys later…" Ridhima said as she pulled Muskaan with her on her way out, "we have a class to attend…" While she thought it had been very sweet of Anjali to apologise to her especially since it must have taken a lot of courage to apologise in front of everyone, she felt envious of the obvious camaraderie between Armaan and Anjali. What the hell are you thinking, Ridhima? They have been close friends for over a year, why should they not have a close bond. And clearly Armaan admired her for having the courage to apologise in front of everyone, well he should, it was a courageous thing to do, it was just that – well, Anjali was practically wrapped around him. Be fair Ridhima, she just has her arms linked through his, doesn't Rahul ever hug you or hold your hand?
"Hello? Where are you?" Ridhima was brought back to the present with Muskaan waving her hands in front of her face. "I have been calling out to you, where have you been? Come on in, the Prof's walked in" completed Muskaan as she dragged a still lost Ridhima into the class.
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Rahul was delighted when Muskaan, instead of Ridhima came and slid into the seat next to him. "Where were you guys?" he whispered
"In the council room, chatting with Armaan, Anjlai and Atul…" Muskan leaned excitedly towards him, "Guess what? The witch apologised to Ridhima, in front of everyone, well almost everyone…only….lemme see…..hmm.. only Ankit and you were not there…"
Rahul shook his head exasperatedly at Muskaan; nothing would ever change her! He chuckled thinking of Anjali's reaction if she knew that she was being referred to as a witch! But she was really adorable, completely without guile or any ill intent…and he loved her fierce sense of loyalty to her friends…he smiled when he remembered her fuming and trying to wear down the carpet of the common room in her anger with Anjali…and then her insistence on not letting Ridhima be alone last night…Rahul had been about to offer to drop Ridhima home and spend some time with her, but Ridhima had motioned him to step back and had insisted that Muskaan make good her threat and come home with her…while he knew that some things were best discussed between girlfriends, there was nothing that Ridhima did not share with him; more importantly, he was equally sure that Ridhima had an alternative reason for her insistence and he had a pretty good idea what it was all about…he wondered what had been Muskaan's reaction….
Lost in his thoughts he turned to look at Muskaan and was surprised to find her looking at him. Embarrassed at being caught staring, she quickly looked away while Rahul smiled affectionately, till a voice broke into his reverie
"What is so funny Mr Rahul Garewal? I am sure the entire class would like to share the joke?"
"Huh?" Rahul gulped as he swung back to look at the Professor who was looking at him rather belligerently. What was it that Mark Twain had said "When a teacher calls a boy by his entire name, it means trouble".
"I am sorry sir, I was thinking about what you were talking about?"
"Really….I would love to know what you thought about what we were talking about."
"Theory of communication and different types of listening modes" Muskaan whispered, pulling at his jeans under the table, looking straight ahead at the professor.
"er..sir, about the theory of communication and different types of listening modes" Rahul repeated, praying that he would not be asked to elaborate.
"Alright Mr Garewal, I shall let you off the hook this time, the next time, you shall not be so lucky" Rahul exhaled slowly as the Professor turned back to the board. As he sat down, to his surprise, Muskaan squeezed his hand and when he turned to whisper thanks, threw him completely off balance by winking at him. Really, he grinned, the girl would get him into a lot of trouble! He tapped her on the shoulder, and then looking straight ahead whispered a thanks.
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Armaan carried two cups of coffee from the dispenser and sat down with Anjali on the sofas. He was not sure how he was supposed to broach the topic, but he needed to clarify things with Anjali.
"So Armaan, what was it that you wanted to talk to me about? If it was my outburst yesterday - "
"No, not that…I mean….. I think its related but I am not sure….look Anjali, like I said I owed you an apology for not talking to you yesterday but I thought your outburst was unwarranted and it surprised me…this was not the Anjali that I knew….but you don't just ignore friends….if you think they are in the wrong you should have the courage to tell them so…instead of which I chose to get irritated and keep quiet….." he put his coffee cup on the table, leaned across and held her free hand, "then it struck me that….maybe ..this sounds terribly pompous of me and I know its silly…but I thought…no I was wondering…whether…." He exhaled loudly, " whether…you were…whether you were envious of Ridhima?"
"Envious?" Anjali put her cup down, as she sat up straight. Had Armaan figured what she felt for him? If so, then this was reckoning time, she would tell him today how she felt. If she did not do so today, she would never gather the courage to do so ever again.
"Look, I did say I sounded pompous and stupid…but I just thought that..oh God, this is so difficult…." He paused for a while running his free hand through his hair, and, then smiling ruefully he s, " I never thought when the time came for sensible words, I would be completely bereft of them… what I wanted to say Anjali was that I know we used to spend a lot of time together…in fact most of my free time was spent with the three of you and you and I did a lot of things together…but that has not been happening much this semester…I have been busy with work…" and as Anjali raised an eyebrow at his words, " and because I have been spending a lot of time with the first year guys especially Ridhima…..and because of that we have not spent as much time with each other as we used to..I was wondering if you were envious of Ridhima on that account, which found expression in your outburst the other day."
Anjali slumped back as she heard what Armaan had to say…this was not quite what she had been prepared to hear but it was close enough, "Yes Armaan, I have been jealous…..I suddenly found that my best friend no longer had time for me because he was preoccupied with another woman" she emphasised the words another woman, hoping he would understand her anguish. She wanted to say more, tell him that her anguish was that he was drifting away from her, that she was slowly but surely loosing him, and that she would fight to keep him, but the words would not come.
Armaan was surprised at her choice of words and the intonation behind them. The emphasis on "another woman" was not lost on him.
"I am sorry Anjali, it was not an intended slight. Its just that she and I share a great passion for books and literature and we get along extremely well…sometimes you develop a bond with someone instantaneously without consciously seeking to do so….but I did not realise that I was ignoring my other friends…I promise I will try and rectify it….." he squeezed her hand as she smiled tremulously at him.
Pausing for a minute, he debated whether to ask her about what Atul had said. For a moment he faltered, it was not a subject he really wanted to talk about, but what if Atul was actually right? Anjali was a dear friend, and, if she harboured any such misconceptions, then he owed it to their friendship to clear them. No, he was being a coward, he needed to talk to her about it.
"Anjali, there was one other thing I wanted to talk to you about…something that we should have talked about many months ago…but I plead guilty to ignoring it because it was convenient for me to do so…." Anjali looked at him surprised wondering what he was talking about. "These rumours about you and me….about us going around…I should have nipped them in the bud when they first started….I am sorry if they have in any way hurt you….it was never my intention to do so….you are a close friend and I thought it suited you as well to let the rumours be…kept the unwarranted attention at bay, didn't they? " he smiled at her as she nodded in affirmation. "I just wanted to let you know that you are a very dear friend and there is no way I would ever willingly hurt you, so if I have inadvertently - "
Anjali looked at him with a heavy heart. Did that mean that he felt nothing for her? No that could not be…..didn't he say that she was a very dear friend? Wasn't friendship the basis of an enduring relationship? Hadn't he only said that there could be no love where there was no friendship? That once the passion was spent, it was friendship that sustained love? Was she not one of his best friends?
Armaan was interrupted by the arrival of a whole bunch of first year students into the common room. He cursed under his breath, letting go of Anjali's hand. The last thing he needed was to add fuel to the rumours! They needed privacy to complete this conversation and Anjali's silence at his remarks had unnerved him. But more than earlier, he now needed to find out how she felt.
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Ridhima trailed behind the rest of the class coming out of the Computer Lab, lost in her own thoughts when she felt someone tap her on the shoulder, She looked up to find Armaan smiling at her. She smiled back perfunctorily, her mind still occupied by the exchange between Armaan and Anjali. It was not as if there was much to it, but the implied closeness behind it, bothered her. Hadn't Armaan told her that Anjali was one of his closest friends? Was that the reason that Anjali had snapped at her? Because she felt Ridhima was intruding on her space? If that was the case, how would she react if she knew she was going out with Armaan tonight? More importantly, was what Anjali thought so important that she would give up an evening that she had been looking forward to with great anticipation?
The problem was that she did not want to be the reason behind someone's unhappiness or was she over-reacting? Could she really come between two friends? It was not as if she, Ridhima, was Armaan's girlfriend or something that Anjali should feel threatened, but why did she have this nagging feeling that Anjali's occasional outbursts were related to Ridhima's friendship with Armaan? Or were Anjali's fears really unfounded because the truth was that she (Ridhima) did find Armaan very attractive, was that not one of the reasons for having said yes for going out with him tonight? Her instincts could not be that wrong, could they? Forget it, maybe she should not go. Now was her opportunity, she would say no to him…but she did so want to go…
"Hey…where is my sea urchin lost?" Armaan teasingly asked her, "I hope you remember you are taking me around Bandra tonight?"
"Armaan I am not sure that I can make it tonight." Ridhima finally made up her mind.
"Why?" Armaan looked extremly surprised, "What happened? All well at home?"
"No, everything is fine..its just that…erm…..I had forgotten, I had committed to do something else…" Ridhima looked down not having the courage to look him in the eyes for fear that he would see through her lies.
"You know you are terrible liar" Armaan said softly, slowly lifting her chin with one finger, " if you don't want to go, I understand, there is no compulsion…its just that I much rather you not insult my intelligence."
Then as she continued to remain silent, "What happened sweetheart? Someone said something to you? Something upset you? Please tell me…not because I want to force you to go with me…I just don't like seeing you lost like this…."
"Armaan, I…..…." Ridhima tried explaining but the words would not come. What should I tell him? That I don't want to step on someone else's feet? Armaan waited for her to say something, but she continued to remain silent.
"Its fine Ridhima, there is no compulsion…I'll see you around later…" Armaan said a little coldly and turned back, with a sense of disappointment that hung heavy around him. He had really been looking forward to this evening out with her but she obviously did not care enough to even go out with him, she had to resort to silly transparent excuses to fob him off…and that thought hurt.
"Armaan, please try…." Ridhima watched him walk away miserably. She knew she had upset him and if he did not ever want to talk to her again, she would understand. He had not even turned back or stopped to hear what she had to say, but could she really blame him. But how was she to explain her feelings to him right now? She did not want Anjali to feel threatened by her, but she obviously did…if so, she did not want to be the cause of Anjali getting hurt….was she imagining things and there was nothing to Anjali's outbursts other than a little impatience with Ridhima's romatic notions? Was she over thinking as usual? Armaan had categorically told her that Anjali was not his girlfriend, so would he really understand her guilt and confusion, even if she explained it to him? She could not even talk to Rahul, he would just tick her off telling he that she was a fool….and Muskaan would probably go throttle Anjali instead….Oh God, what was she to so?
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Atul walked into the council room looking for Anjali. They had an hour's break between two lectures and he decided that he would either talk to her now or ask her out to dinner and discuss things with her over dinner. It was not a pleasant task, he had no clue how he would handle it but he had to at least give her an indication that Armaan's affections were otherwise engaged.
To his surprise, only Ankit was there, clearly lost in thoughts that preoccupied him enough to not even register Atul's presence.
"Hey dude! I am here too!" Atul waving in his face finally registered and Ankit looked dup with a sheepish grin.
"Sorry Atul, was lost somewhere…"
"If you had not told me, I would not have guessed" Atul responded a tad sarcastically, "so what were you think of?"
"Nothing…" seeing Atul's raised eyebrows, Ankit smiled ruefully, "…just wondering how sometimes people have a profound effect on your life and you do not even realise….they creep into your lives without your conscious realisation and by the time you realise it, you are too far gone to do anything about that…. Atul gaped at Ankit while Ankit continued to wax eloquent "it's so easy, isn't it for someone to become a part of your life but so difficult for you to separate them from it…what? Why are you looking at me like this?"
"I am wondering whether I got off the wrong side of the bed today or you did" Atul responded, still agape, "dude, watch it, I am beginning to believe that you are a closet romantic!"
"Rubbish!" Ankit brushed off Atul's comment, a little embarrassed at being caught musing, "I need to go for the lecture….we are getting late…"
Atul smiled as Ankit hurried out of the council room. This was a very interesting development that needed some further investigation! This was one woman he needed to meet, someone who had brought out the romantic in Ankit must really be someone special!
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Armaan looked from his books as the warning bell went off in the library, it was time for the library to close and for him to head home. He better grab a bite on his way home, having told his maid not to cook cos he would be eating out. The feeling of heaviness had stayed with him through the afternoon, what he could not understand was what had prompted her sudden change of heart. But darn her, enough was enough, if she was going to act silly, then he would not give a damm. Maybe he had imagined the bond between them, maybe they were just two people with common interests…anyways it was not worth all that introspection, he better head home.
Lost in his own thoughts, he walked to the car with his bag slung over his shoulders listening to his i-pod when his eyes fell on someone leaning against his car. As he came closer, he stopped short in his tracks, for leaning against his car, shuffling from one foot to another was Ridhima.
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Muskaan lay in bed going over the events of the last two days and Ridhima's conversation with her. She had ordered a pizza for dinner, as she had forgotten to tell the maid to cook and been too pre-occupied to rustle up something for herself. She knew Rahul was not indifferent to her, a woman knows these things, she can sense it, and Ridhima's conversation with her only confirmed that. Ridhima would not have bothered to bring up the subject if that was not the case and who would know Rahul and his feelings better than Ridhima. And it was not that she did not find herself getting attracted to Rahul. Ridhima was probably right, one could not live one's life seeking certainties…what had Ridhima once said to her, that the only constant in life was change…..and even if one could strive to fix all the variables, it would take one twist to turn life topsy turvey, so what was she looking for?
She blushed as she remembered Rahul having caught her staring at him. She had decided to go sit with him, instead of Ridhima, and had been rewarded by the pleasantly surprised look on his face. Ridhima, of course, had been too preoccupied to even register the fact. She made a mental note to find out what was bothering her now. The witch had apologised, and, Muskaan had to grudgingly admire Anjali's courage in apologising in public. She had thought of asking Rahul if he knew what was bothering Ridhima but running from one class to another, she had clean forgotten.
Who would know Ridhima better than Rahul? She smiled as she remembered Ridhima's stupefied expression when she came to know that Muskaan had thought that Ridhima may harbour feelings for Rahul. Ridhima was such a sweetheart which is why Muskaan felt a little guilty about some of the thoughts going through her head. Muskaan, being an only child, was used to being the centre of undivided attention and affection from her family. Effervescent and outgoing, she endeared herself to all and sundry…she had never had to share that affection with anyone….If Rahul did feel anything about her and they did get together, she wondered, would she grudge Rahul and Ridhima their close bond and friendship?
Of course, she knew that they were not romantically inclined, but jealousy reared its head unannounced and was usually not subject to reason. She was not sure whether she would be jealous if her man was close to another woman even if it was a close friend of hers, and, she cared too much for Ridhima to ever endanger her friendship with Ridhima…but wait, was she really that shallow that she could grudge Rahul and Ridhima a bond that had bound them together for years? She did not think so, but she was scared to run the risk of sacrificing two wonderful relationships at the altar of inexplicable and possible jealousy. She needed to sort this out in her head, and make her peace with her fears before she could allow her emotions free reign as far as Rahul was concerned, cos though she did not verbalise it, she was immensely drawn to Rahul in more ways than one…..
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Armaan walked up to his car, ignoring Ridhima, who had straightened up as he approached, and opened the door to fling his bag inside. He was in half a mind to just get in and drive off, when better sense prevailed, and he turned to ask her very politely , "Hi! What are you doing here? Any problem? Anything I can help with?"
Ridhima had not really been expecting a warm welcome but the detached way in which he spoke to her upset her. But what else had she expected? "Armaan, I…." she looked at Armaan looking at her patiently, waiting for her to complete her sentence, "I just wanted to say I am sorry…I did not mean to upset you…it - "
"You did not, so don't worry. Everyone is entitled to change their mind. Anything else?" he responded coolly.
"Please don't be angry with me." Instinctively she moved closer and put her hand on his arm, "I did want to go…its just that I am so confused and I acted silly…am really sorry…."
"Its ok Ridhma…"Armaan's expression softened at her pleading look, "it really is, and now I think you should get back home..its getting late…."
"But I am hungry ….and tired…I met Atul when he was leaving and he told me that you were in the library. I have been standing here since 7 o'clock waiting for you in case you left without my saying sorry…there isn't even a stupid chair to sit on….I haven't had a bite to eat since lunch…how can we go home without having dinner first? I'll die of hunger…" Armaan couldn't help but smile at her petulance.
"Us? Dinner? Go home? We? You do mean you and me, right? You do know that once you sit in the car, you can't jump off in case you change your mind once again?"Arman asked her a little sarcastically.
"Stop it Armaan, I said I am sorry…don't be sarcastic now…..please, please can we go have dinner somewhere…I am ravenous…and I do need to sit, my legs are about to give way!" she complained, her natural self reasserting itself as she sensed Armaan beginning to soften, " please?"
"Fine, fine…haven't yet met a woman so obsessed with her stomach! Stop blathering and get into the car…you are the Bandra expert, so tell me where do you want to grab a bite?" Armaan finally smiled, as he felt his spirits lift, really this woman was impossible, "….and please be forewarned, since you wasted precious time throwing silly tantrums, I am not letting you go home till that Bandra tour is truly over and done with…..so be ready for a long night about town my girl!"
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Finally, part XXII..am extremely, extremely sorry for the inordinate delay, but beleive me it was not out of choice...have been rushed off my feet at work...it happens when you have a deal on the table, and this one was a big one, so could not afford to mess up...and when you get back after hours of going through documents that seem to make no sense to anyone except the lawyers, I come away convinced that I should have been one....only lawyers can obfuscate and say the same things in English that was certainy not taught in my public school! 😆
I know this was suppossed to have been the AR date, and despite all my fears about writing about it, I honetly had all intentions of doing so but since night only comes after day, so had to deal with all the appointments that Anjali had to keep 😉 and some others! I never realised how long the part had becme without them even going out! Since I had said I would post last night or this morning, went ahead and posted whatever I had written rather than break my promise again.
I hope you guys like the part. please do read and leave me your comments! Much as I know I will not do justice to aromantic part, the date shall happen in the next part, and that a promise!
Love
Sam
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