ETRETR SS: A Royal Affair C47 P122 21ST SEP 2016 CONCLUDE - Page 57

Okay guys sorry for the delay it was quite a challenging one to right this for gayatri fans hang on next chapter is a more of a gayatri and ranaji chapter ..

Chapter 34

The King had heard his queen enter his chamber, he also heard the unsure nature of her steps after she put the pressed shirt into the wardrobe where it belon

He could sense that Subharna was now a little lost per what to do, it was the end of her first day as his wife' so to put it and she had been just as committed, just as impressive to him as Gayatri had been in her political role. Maybe even more so for the king knew that this would play havoc on her older queens heart . With every moment she would be thinking about the past and her present . He was putting her through a trial of kinds but he didn't mean her harm and she would see that at some point he would make her see that.

He asks her if she is okay as he turns the page of his read, one of the kings ways to unwind was to read, his posture comfortable against the bed his eyes looked up a fraction to give Subharna attention.

She smiled despite looking tired, she agreed to being fine with the use of her expression rather than words. She walked to the foot of the bed where a sevika was pressing the kings legs, excused her. Once the the maid had left the queen took her place at the foot of the bed servering the king in a similar fashion.

The king had a good mind to stop his queen but neither did he want it to come across as indifference. The truth of it was that he did not like to see the woman that was by his side for many years at his feet. He shared the same sentiment for his younger wife too but with Subharna it was different the feeling was much more vivid. Maybe it was because he had become accustomed to his younger wife and her care where as he had always seen Subharna as a queen rather than a wife.

A silence had fallen but it was now a good a time to talk as any. As the king watched his queen he continued to see what he had seen for years a lady who had become apt at hiding her pain.

"How are you so loyal to a man who has given you nothing but misfortune?"

He put down his book completely and gave her undivided attention something Subharana wasn't really used to. She was used to confiding with him over matters of state and kingdom but not matters of the heart.

She didn't expect to hear that from him. It was far too overwhelming far too close to him and personal that if she began to thinking about such things she feared that she would loose the composure she had built painstakenly over the years.

She could feel the tone of his voice and she knew him well enough to know when he spoke from his heart not just his mind.

She didn't say anything for she knew not how to feel.

She simply looked at him for a second as he waited for a response but then lowered her eyes. Asking to be excused for she felt fatigue take to her the king could do nothing but permit her to leave.

He knew her response was in aid of years of neglect and he didn't blame her for that. Before leaving his quarters Subharna spoke of being at becon call if he would need anything at any point to which he thanked her and watched her leave.

Should he have expected anything other than that. The king was feeling remose for his own actions but was it too little too late. Maybe indravarden would never really understand what he had put Subharna through.

A sleepless night was a sign of a disturbed mind and Rana Indravarden Singh deo his the thought of his injustice towards his older wife over the years became grew on his mind.

...

When disturbed Gayatri was the only thing that gave the king solace. Her love her innocence, the way she looked upon life with optimisum and hope. Indravadren needed one of Gayatris talks. Her reassuraces. Walking out in the balcony of his room past the material divide. The king was certainly a fortunate man for the sight before him was of the one lady he needed to see the most right now.

Having fallen asleep in a chair out by the window, Gayatri looked the picture of innocence and not to mention beauty. Just seeing her gave him a sense of composure. Gave him something to smile about. After the intial moment had passed indravarden recalled gayatri's trust, her belief in him and the pure intentions in which she had fought for this because she truly believed something good could come out of this and that he could make things better.

With renewed belief in himself from thoughts of his youngest of queens whilst the rest of the raj mehel rested into the night Indravarden sat in his study before Subhranas letters.

Letters which he had pushed a side yet again putting Gayatri before is older wife assuming that Gayatri needed the help but the truth was that Subharna was the one that needed his attention and despite being aware of it the king had again been parital in his choices.

The act of looking at his wifes letters to him made him feel anxious maybe that is why he had not opened many of them till date, certainly not the later ones after his teenage years, guilt was horrible creature. Even now as the king looked at the frail enverlops of the many letters, some opened majority not before him he knew that what they entailed would be things that would only enthersise the true nature of what was Subharas reality was.

A part of him afraid that he would hate himself even more. No doubt there would be feelings, wishes, memories in these but these letters were his only way of relating to what played in her mind, what he put her through and how she felt. Aware of the possiblites the King looked upon them . Each of them were the same, the paper of the enverlope had gone a little a little discoloured, frail over time.

He sperated the ones that were already open from the many that weren't, in the process he came across that one letter that Subharna had written to him about wanting to be excused from learning English, behind that was of course the Englishman the king had encountered not long ago. He put that with those very few opened letters to a side and looked at a whole host of ones that remain sealed until now. What shame it was, she had written to him many many times but he had only time to read one or two of them after which well he must have had other priorites he was not so proud of now.

Looking at the handwriting which he recongised well, a neatly penned blue script in hindi.. each of the letters by first appreance looked similar. All of them on traditional royal stamped paper. Addresed to "Ranaji" or "Rana Sahib" or some of the newer looking ones just "Maharaj" telling of what sort of mood the queen was in when she wrote the letter or possibly the nature of its context. Even till date the way she addressed him was influnced by her feeling, the circumstances and the matter at hand, a sign of a royal upbringing.

This particular letter was addressed to "Ranaji" Indravarden turned over the letter opening it to find the letter within. A folded piece of writing paper this particular letter only read one line once it was unvolded which asked him when he would return, signed and dated "Aapki Subharna." (Yours faithfully Subharna.)

It made him think regretfully about how many of these would be the same for he was away for many years.

The next one he opened however put smile to the kings face, it spoke of Subharanas happiness when she learnt to drive, attended her first ball it still spoke of his absence in some form or other but there was a sense of optimism in Subharnas words.

Some of the letters spoke of more political dilemmas Subharna faced and asked for his opinion on other more family related issues. How she felt about certain members of the royal family, her apprehensions and her fears.

Her letters were her soul form of keeping alive her relationship it seemed whether he respond or not she still wrote to him.

Indravarden noticed how the letters got more and more vague, distant with time. The entersis became rajya karya and other things rather then herself. But even then at the end of each of the letters was still her concern for his well being in a few words.

Indravarden continued to read and with every letter got closer to Subharnas sentiments. He picked up one such letter that displayed his wifes vunerablity more than any other.

"ham ne kisi ko bataya toh nahin magar ham kayi dino se chen ki need nahin soh payey.. ankh lagti hai toh bhi kuch vakt ke baad khul jaati hai. Ek rani ko dar shoba nahin deta ham jante hai magar shyad raat ke us vakt hamare khyal hame pareshan karte aur ham kaap ke jag jate hai..

Us vakt hame gyat hota hai ke ham mehel mein mehfooz toh hai magar fir bhi pata nahin kyun hamare saath aisa hota hai. Akelapan shaayad?

Doctor ne neeed ki davayi di hai shaayad woh azar kar jayey.."

It's not something I have shared with anyone but I have struggled to sleep for many night recently. I fall asleep but then wake up abrubtly, scared, disturbed I know the notion of fear for a queen is frowned upon but maybe in the dark hours of the night I forget that I am well guarded and my mind seems to get the better of me. Maybe its just lonliness? ... The doctor has prescribed medication maybe they will help. )

This particular letter amongst other ones caught Indravardens attention, his strongest of queens would ever be this vunerable that he had never anticipated

In the middle of the night as the rest of the raj mehel rested the king made his way to Rani subharnas quarters. Entering the room discreetly but with as much ownership as he would have entered any other room. The king looks upon his older queen asleep under a faint light in the room. He did not know how releavant that letter was now but he took a seat in the arm chair in far corner of the room.

The way he seated himself per nature spoke of his royal status but at the same time his ease was apparent in the way he had no problem being nothing more than apart of the surroundings for his his resting queen.

He would sit in that particular spot with his letters and If she were to wake up in the middle of the night she wouldn't be alone and that gave him peace of mind.

...

When Subharna opened her eyes the next morning, adjusting to the sunlight in the room she felt usually content with her nights sleep.

It was once the queen completed her morning routine, showered and dressed did she come out into ther room and notice that there seemed to be slight change in the postioning of the furniture in the room. Calling upon the guard who remained dedicated to her security outside the room Subharna questioned him on whether anyone had entered her room asked for this morning. Not that royal members of the family barged into others rooms but even so she felt like maybe someone more had been here.

What the guard had to say certainly surpised Subharna. Ranaji and in her quarters, and remained with her till the early hours of the morning.

As Subharna walked towards the chair he had supposedly occupied throughout the night on the side table beside the armchair she finds evidence of kings presence. Overwhem was too little a word for what Subharna felt at this time.

...

A little later in the Kings quarters, a slightly tired looking Ranaji, flexs his shoulder a little post putting his arms through his blazer.

The only thing that seemed missing from his attire was the ring he was accustomed to wearing. Feeling its absence Indravarden looks around at the dresser but has it drawn to him in a platter. When he raises his eyes he sees Subharna is the one stood before him. An indication that he had left it behind in her room and also that it was likely that she was now aware that he had been there.

Thanking her with his eyes and a nod of the expression Indravarden slips on the ring.

Without sugar coating the matter or bothering to explain how and why he was asking her this now the king was very direct with his words when he asked Subharna whether she still resorted to taking medication to help her sleep.

She looked at him as any would do if they had been asked something of the kind and that so strangely at a time where even she had put to a side the matter.

She had no choice but to answer her reply was, very rarely for she'd learnt to fight off her demons over the years.

He accepted that infact he looked at her with pride but could also see that his sudden actions of attention for her were either being purposefully ignored or were too painful for her to aknowelge it was most likely the latter but he was going to carry out his intentions until he managed to break the walls his older queen had built around herself.

He aptly changed the course of the conversation that would now have dropped to silence.

"I am to attend the races this afteroon, I would very much like for you to accompany me. "

Indravarden could see that he had yet again surpised her with this and she had no means of an excuse she simply agreed to the kings wishes.

...

Next chapter: subject to change

Gayatri looked especially attractive to the king this morning, as the members of his council went on to talk about matters of state the kings attention was very much for his wife. He failed to concentrate throughout and he blamed gayatri for that .. whispering in her ear as discreetly as was possible he made it known that he wished to see her after this was over and Gayatri sensed that his intentions weren't of the decent sort.

Originally posted by: ananya2010

Jags awesome update, loved it.

Ranaji had not read most of Rani Subharna's letters and reading them now he understood the pain she went through.

Continue soon, waiting for the next update.

Originally posted by: kuhelidebbarma

Jags..

Superb update!

Really looking forward to it 😳

Originally posted by: Drashtilove

Lovely update years of subha's pain reflected in her letter ranaji is in guilt he is trying but that making subha little uncomfortable all because of years negleting hmm i still want that english man for subha as that person loves her ranaji respect her but dont love her missed raga but liked that gayatri's invisible control over his mind and heart loved precap awesome