SS: The Suhaag Raat of Broken Dreams (An apology and a new start p.43)

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Snigdha Gautam

@Serendipity05

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#181

plz update soon!

Read all parts together... amazing piece of writing. loving the new twist.

PM please

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Tia

@tes_v1

Inactive

+ 5

Posted: 9 years ago

#182

Isn't Sunday the update day?

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vaishnavi77

@vaishnavi77

Inactive

Posted: 9 years ago

#183

Loved the part.👍🏼 Zorawar and Gayathri , i wish to see, genuinely doing lot of good work towards the betterment of people and get more accolades than Ranaji😛 and that should truly make him a green-eyed monster for, Zorawar stealing his queen's heart and also the praja's. Maybe Rajmata and rest also getting bowled over by zorawar's charms seems too cool😎

Yaay today is Sunday😊 - update day. If only it is possible for you to not keep us waiting a whole long week albeit every update feels worth it. Update soon.

Small note- When lakshyaraj's truth of being gay comes out officially , maybe when gayu brings up the issue of getting swarna re-married, i want to see gayu explaining how it is natural to be a homosexual and convince it's not lakshya's fault. (maybe whenever u would introduce this track and gayu convincing badi rani ma and ranaji admiring her all the more😊)

Edited by vaishnavi77 - 9 years ago

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Marybarton

@Marybarton

Rocker

+ 8

Posted: 9 years ago

#184

Hello all,

Thank you for your interest and your patience. The next part will be posted in a few hours. I work three jobs, so I do not have a lot of time on weekedays. I also get discouraged when the readership falls and people write one word responses, it just seems like a lot of put in for no response. I will sound harsh, sorry, but 7 parts and many years of FF writing on, it is still frustrating that people do not show courtesy. FF writers are not professional writers, they write to interact with the viewers, it is not a book that needs no reviews. It is more like theater, it expects responses.

This last part was read by a few thousand, but people take pride in being selective silent readers for whom the writing has to be good enough for them the write a response. Sometimes they even write to tell me that my writing was just good enough for them to say something.The writing is interesting enough, otherwise these silent readers would not keep coming back. FFs are about give and take, it is not a one-way show where writers put in hours of work and people enjoy the story and leave.

I used to have a huge readership with Arnav-Khushi stories too and whenever I said this, the silent readers would complain about being busy. Well, you had the time to come read the story, where did you find the time? I work three jobs and write this, I am busy too. Please do not read my story, if you don't think it good enough to merit a good/bad response. I would rather just have my loyal readers who are kind enough to write their thoughts to me. I am grateful for them.

Edited by Marybarton - 9 years ago

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asmaanixx

@asmaanixx

Achiever

+ 5

Posted: 9 years ago

#185

Hey Mary,

I totally understand your inhibition and expectations from the readers. I can't speak on behalf of everyone as I don't know what their reasons for not commenting is.

But I will speak something on my own behalf. I have read your story from Day One and tbh, your story is the only one that I regularly read once it has been updated here on the forum. I won't say that I don't have the time to comment because I do. However, when I do read your updates, I don't have ample amount of time to leave behind a well deserved review.

The thing with me is that I much rather prefer reading completed works rather than on-going material. With completed works, I can give a full assessment of what went good, what was wrong, what could have been improved, a review on the overall plot line, the character development etc. For on-going works, I prefer not to do so because I don't want my ideas to influence the writer in any way nor do I wish to repeat my comments every single time.

I am genuinely interested in knowing where you take these characters but I wouldn't want to comment on it prematurely. It's like reading a book. I can give a full critical review once I have finished reading the whole thing. Making judgments prior without knowing all the facts is not in my nature.

Edited by asmaanixx - 9 years ago

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abba12

@abba12

Stunner

+ 5

Posted: 9 years ago

#186

Hello !!

i know readers response is very low as compared to other forums , where i get 100 likes for update its only 30 here , agree that its discouraging ... even give and take thing is also apt .. coz writer get the idea what readers r liking and what not ..

I request all the readers to post a proper review , so that its encourage to write more , and do hit like ..it dont take more than 2 minutes .. i wonder what we r lacking in ?? why not hitting like and giving proper review ??

and @TM please dont stop writing 😊 as overall response towards stories is low .. discussion posts even have more likes and comments than stories .. i think thats the reason we still have less stories in forum

and one more request , please add date in title .. i missed 2nd last part coz i didnt know its updated 😕

And congrats for winning SS of the week title 😉

Edited by abba12 - 9 years ago

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Marybarton

@Marybarton

Rocker

+ 8

Posted: 9 years ago

#187

Firstly everyone, thank you to my loyal readers who come to share their thoughts with me. I am very open to good and bad reviews. But if I have not heard from you even once in the last 7 parts, please stop reading now. You are too busy and so am I. Sorry if this is harsh, but I am not a writer who writes for writing's sake here, I want responses. This is my way of interacting with people who enjoy the show like me and I would rather this thread to only be an exchange between them and me. You may argue that I will lose readers by taking this stance, but the point of you being silent is precisely that - it is as if you were never here, so I would not know if I was missing anything!

All that said, thank you to the mod for the recognition of SS of the week. I am very thrilled to see a good review.

Part 8:

Ranaji woke up and suddenly felt a quivering remorse set in. What was it, he wondered gloomily. And then it set in like a pointed spear, Zorawar. Zorawar and that insensitive girl. They were probably together right now, reliving childhood memories.

He bolted off the bed and called for his dresser. There was no a moment to lose.

Ranaji caught sight of Solaksna's portrait.

Ranaji: You know I am only doing this for the family honor, Sona. I need to stop that girl from wreaking everything before it is too late. She is on a revenge spree.

Down in the hall...

Raj Mata laughed and said: Zorawar, what stories you have! You two keep talking and I will be right back after seeing that breakfast is ready.

Ranaji came down to see Gayatri (with her back to him) chattering animatedly with Zorawar.

Gayatri: When Plato wrote about the "Philosopher King," he also meant Philosopher Queen! Are you paying attention?

Zora spotted him coming in and watched as Indravardhan straightened haughtily and sat down on the other side of Gayatri.

Gayatri stopped as soon as she felt the dip on her cushion. She slowly looked around and arched an eyebrow at Indravardhan.

Gayatri, irritated: Yes?

Ranaji: I just came down for my morning coffee.

Gayatri: You usually drink it out in the garden.

Indravardhan quickly thought of an excuse: Well, it was chilly out, so will be staying in.

Gayatri was in a take-no-prisoners mood: It is summer.

Indravardhan: Yes...yes, as I said...I was feeling chilly.

Gayatri: We are all having breakfast in the garden later, I guess you will be sitting that one out too.

Indravardhan was mortified.

Gayatri turned back to her special friend: As I was saying, Plato, despite all his other issues...was fair about the...

Indravardhan interrupted: I think a shawl is all I need. Then I can join you all for breakfast.

Gayatri did not look around this time: Do as you please.

Zora: Indravardhan, what do you think?

Indravardhan was about to speak when Gayatri veered the conversation away.

Gayatri: I have an idea! Why don't I show you around the garden before breakfast, Zora? It must be a long time since you have come here.

Zora smiled: Not since I was a teenager. I would love to see the garden and parks.

Gayatri, cheerfully: Great!

Zora: With Ranaji's permission, of course?

Indravardhan nodded, but Gayatri did not wait for his permission. She sashayed away with Zorawar's arm before he could look up.

The bile rose to his throat. What was she doing going out with another man's arm like that? What will the servants say? What will the community say?

In rage, he called for his coffee more loudly than necessary.

In a meeting with mantriji and other politicians...

Ranaji paced the room and looked out the large windows and mantriji struggled to keep his attention.

Mantriji: That concludes that morning's update, Ranaji.

Ranaji was not paying attention. He was up against the window-panes with his hands plastered to the glass.

Mantriji looked warily at his associate.

The associate loudly coughed.

Nothing. Ranaji's hands curled into fists.

Mantriji warned the associate with his eyes. Maybe the news of the morning had displeased him.

Mantriji: We will be leaving now, Ranaji, with your permission.

Ranaji grunted some unclear response.

Indravardhan watched from upstairs as...

Gayatri flitted about the rose garden as Zora followed like her pet puppy.

Her sari caught in a rose bush. Indravardhan started, but it was Zora who had the benefit of untangling her aanchal.

That aanchal. She had wiped his blood with that aanchal just the other day in the library! A sinking feeling of betrayal caught in his throat. How could she let Zorawar touch that aanchal?

He watched further as Gayatri gave him a big smiled and did the cutest head-thing. The kind of thing girls only did for their dearest ones. He knew that head-thing, Sona always did it when Indravardhan was being especially cute. His hands curled into fists of their own accord.

Oblivious to it all, Gayatri and Zorawar went and joined the breakfast table set in the clearing. The family was starting to gather.

A servant came to call Indravardhan, but the king sped past him before he could say that breakfast had been served.

Down at breakfast...

Zorawar sat next to Gayatri at the far end of the table and shared some story that he could hardly hear. Everyone on that end though found it hilarious. Gayatri gave an impish smile.

Indravardhan craned his neck: What are you talking about?

Zora: I was just saying Ranaji, how Gayatri here tried to do antim-sanskar of my cat when we were children, only to have it wake up and run away just as the flames picked up.

Indravardhan's lips thinned in displeasure. He did not know cute stories like that about Gayatri. She never thought to share anything with him and they had been married for months now. She had ample opportunity with the horse riding lessons she was taking from him after breakfast everything morning at least!

Raj Mata: That is the cutest, Indravardhan was very fond of cats too! When he was just a wee little prince, he had this kitten named...

Indravardhan interrupted his mother: That's enough, Raj Mata. I care about all animals.

Gayatri: What was its name?

Indravardhan gritted his teeth, as if he would give her the pleasure.

Indravardhan: Nothing.

Gayatri was adamant: I want to know its name.

Indravardhan: I said, no!

Gayatri made a face and went back to chatting with Zorawar, making the situation worse.

Indravardhan got up: Come Rani, I am taking Hunter out.

Gayatri's face set in. He knew well enough by now that it meant that she will be troublesome again.

Gayatri: You go ahead, I will not be joining you today.

Ranaji: Rani Gayatri Devi, come with me.

Gayatri gritted through her teeth and inclined her head significantly toward Zora: I am bu-sy.

Taking a deep breath, he stormed off.

When he came back from the ride Indravardhan saw that Zora's parents were here from the next town over. They were waiting for Zora to settle on a place. Ranaji decided to help them find a house as quickly as possible.

Zora's mother was talking to Raj Mata, neither woman saw him passing behind them in the hallway.

Raj Mata: She is learning the ways of the palace. It will be a little time before she is comfortable enough to fully represent us.

Zora's mother: She is a dear, sweet girl. My Zorawar was so fond of her, but there was always that unlucky story about the fiance dying that gave me pause. It broke his heart but I had to be strict. He is my only son.

Indravardhan's heart skipped many beats. He was right! His instinct was right.

Raj Mata: Yes, well, she was in our luck, I guess. The pandit said her kundali was fine.

Zora's mother signed: Our loss, I guess. I congratulate you on Gayatri. She will be a credit to the royal family.

Indravardhan quickly went to his suite and called a servant.

Ranaji ordered: Tell Rani Gayatri that I need to speak to her at once!

The servant bowed: If you please, my lord, she said if you were to say that, she wants you to know she is away visiting some new students with Professor Rathore.

Ranaji: Visiting students!? Why does she need to go visit students with him? And she went alone with him?

The servant cowered: No sir, she took her servant too. She said she needed to go as they were female students and Professor Rathore could not directly talk to them in their homes.

Indravardhan squeezed his temples in dread: Amerkoot does not admit female college students.

Servant: She said you would say that, my lord. And she said, she had convinced Professor Rathore to take on 10 students and very soon there will be more. She went to recruit.

Ranaji: I see. Very well then, you may leave.

...

Edited by Marybarton - 9 years ago

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steffi_angel

@steffi_angel

Beginner

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#188

I am just loving the way Ranaji is getting jealous seeing Zora and Gayatri together...Also i loved te way you are portraying Gayatri- a strong willed lady.. Looking forward to more updates..👏😊😊

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no name

@Endgame

Inactive

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#189

Ranaji is too much jealouse n Gaytatri's attitude is not helping him also he is just burning funny that he is convincing himself saying he is doing all this for royal family reputation oh zora also liked her that just make the situation worse for him liked Gayatri's effort toward girls education loved the part thnx 4 update