DARKNESS LOOTERSWelcomes the Aasmanians of this forum to its SEVENTH thread of discussion, and we hope you enjoy your time here. Life is to be lived, not controlled and humanity is won by continuing to play in the face of defeat, precisely what Kalpana has been doing since the day she was born, always playing in the face of defeat, and yet to win, but alas the former part of that quote is something she is yet to experienced, because her life has been controlled by every Tom, Dick and Harry who has come into her life and they claim they are doing it for her benefit but instead if has been to always benefit themselves. Take Raghav for example, he wants Kalpana not because Kalpana will be happy, but because he will be happy and likewise with Kalpana's mother, she wants Kalpana to do things her way so that she can continue to live in LalaLand with her daughter Pakhi, not because she truly wants to see her own flesh and blood succeed. And despite all of this, she continues to fight and play in the face of defeat. 
I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness The above quote is exactly how Kalpana envisaged her one year wait to be like;she was ready to bury her old feelings of being ditched at the altar, and just live life for one year in his thoughts whilst ensuring she brings happiness to her family, that way after one year, when she does go to the man she loves, she will have her family moments in her heart to endeavor forever. Raghav was the person to bring meaning into her life, he showed her that it was ok to love yourself and feel beautiful and he made her feel like his Rani, she was the Rani of his heart and still is, without her his life is incomplete. And being made to feel that special, repaired her damaged soul and she began to smile again, from the heart. The first droplet of the rain on her arm had earlier provided her with an amazing sensation; because she was made to see baarish in a different light, it lit up her inside, every fibre of her being wanting to relive those wonderful moments, she had spent with Raghav before her confession night. She wished for things to be the same as before, for her to have the right to be kissed and touched by him without the need to feel guilty about it. Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them She stood there reminiscing old times and she started to dwell on how beautiful was, a small smile appeared on those trembling lips, and as she slowly turned, he was right there staring at her. She was baffled but it was not long before reality struck her, and having told him earlier that she wanted them to keep their distance, she had to admit, it was still wonderful to see his face, so see him want her. And as he made his way to way, ensuring his gaze never left hers, her heart started to beat faster, but she had not forgotten their earlier conversation. AND he knew, thus why he said we didn't meet each other, it was kudrat who ensured their milan today. He couldn't help but touch her hand because earlier in the day, he had made the mistake of touching another woman's hand, thus it was his way of apologizing to her. That beautiful sensation crept inside of her again, she would be lying if she said she didnt feel the same nor wanted him near her, but peeking from behind was his wife, and she knew she could not cross her boundaries, and thus removed his hand from hers, despite not wanting too. She accepted his offer of a lift, gritting her teeth, knowing how difficult it was going to be to sit in that car with his wife and him. He was in a world of his own, forgetting everyone and everything except his Kalpana, and even opened the door for her, but alas she had more brains than him. He was frustrated at her, because he had given her that place, she was the one he had given all rights too and yet she was not accepting it because she lived in the real world unlike him. He could not stop admiring her from the rear-mirror, those dripping water from her face, made him want to caress her face and wipe them off, but he knew he couldn't and that frustrated him to no end, But in reality the ball is still in his court and if he truly wants her then he knows what he has got to go. 
We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations. Edited by _innocent_ - 11 years ago
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