My true love story- Itreallyhpnd (Part 11)

I have reached out to all of you to share this story, not just for my satisfaction but also to share about true love and how it can be. I want you all to know and judge freely so I can see my actions through your eyes.

Some of you have expressed a discomfort because parts of my story are intimate. Without them the story is incomplete and I don't want to hide it. But considering your feelings, I have decided that I'll share my blog with all of you, where all parts of the story are posted. This way I can remove the intimate posts from the forum and those of you who are interested can still visit the blog, follow it and read all the previous parts.

The following is the link to my blog-

itreallyhpnd.wordpress.com

Melody and Melancholy

I emailed Mr. Bond again after the weekend, thanking him for the compliments he had given and asking when we'd talk again. I got one word in reply- Saturday. The week was filled his thoughts and his words. Meeting him had brought a new high. I was thinking things I had never thought of before, feeling like I hadn't felt before. The more our connection was evolving, the more I realized that I was discovering myself, and coming close to who I truly am.

"Within you, I lose myself. Without you, I find myself wanting to be lost again."

Every time we were together, I felt his passion, intense and all consuming. It was so beautiful! He was expressive and passionate in his love. I marveled at the way he made me feel, in body, heart and soul. I know a billion people may be making love right now but I also know that very few of them feel the way I did with him. I can't describe it in words how happy and secure he'd made me feel. It's a feeling I kept in my heart, which kept burning and lighting it up all the time. All I had to do was close my eyes and I could sense him, close to me, touching me and holding me. For a long time, I have found most people to be so insincere in comments, whether it is strangers or even friends. I found his words sincere and honest.

It was a holiday in the middle of the week and Delhi was getting hotter as the month of May progressed. I was restless and anxious to talk to him. Suddenly it dawned on me how apart we were. My days were his nights and there were oceans separating us. Reluctantly I pulled my thoughts away from him and tried to work on my thesis protocol. As unexpected as ever he called just then and as soon as I said Hi, he started singing. Rone na dijiyega toh gaya na jayega, aise toh haal dil ka, sunaya na jayega. His voice was different from the usual happy melody. I sensed a hurt in him that felt heavy on my heart too. Kaise ho aap? I asked. Zinda hun, he replied drily. I knew he didn't like questions so instead of questioning him about his mood, I tried to change the mood. Aapka gana toh bohot achha hai! Par mujhe iss movie ka doosra gana zyada pasand hai- Hum laakh chhupaye pyar magar duniya ko pata chal jayega, lekin chhup chhup ke milne se milne ka maza toh aayega. Then I smiled and hoped that he would smile too. There was silence for few moments and I wondered if his mood had changed at all. Looking at my dog, who had just walked onto the terrace, I smiled and thought of something else. Aapko kutte pasand hain? I asked chirpily, to take his mind off whatever was troubling him. Tum yeh sab faltu ki baatein mat karo samjhi? Don't try to act smart with me, he burst out, angrily. I was taken aback at his reaction and I hesitantly said, I wasn't trying anything. There was obviously something on his mind that he wasn't sharing and somehow I knew probing him would only make him more furious.

He became quiet again and so I asked if I could sing a song for him. I had never sung for him before, but it seemed like a good idea. Maybe this would work. Ok, he said and I sang-

Tel mera hai musky, ganj rahe na khuski, jiske sar pe haath phira dun, chamke kismat uski, sun sun sun, arre babu sun, iss champi mein bare bare gun.

Laakh dukhon ki ek dawa hai kyun na aazmaye... Sar jo tera chakraye, ya dil dooba jaye, aaja pyare paas humare, kaahe ghabraye, kahe ghabraye.

Achha laga, I asked when I finished. He didn't say anything about the song. Acha mujhe jana hai, he said, bye. Saturday ko baat hogi? Hopefully, he said and disconnected. All I could think of for the next few days was- I wish I could have helped him feel better.

More soon. Will write on the weekend.