Khamoshiyan - A Shraman OS

nith125 thumbnail
10th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#1
This is a short OS based on today's precap.[/DIV][DIV]Do read and let me know what you think. All opinions welcome !
Somebody please suggest a title, I haven't been able to come up with one ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was the third time Shravan called Sumo and she hadn't answered. He really wanted her to know Adithya's true intentions. Why wasn't she picking the phone, he wondered.
"Is time pe toh Sumo apne room me hi hogi.Kahin woh mujhe phir se avoid to nahi kar rahi hai" he thought to himself. Shravan's impatience gave away to anger. He messaged her.
"Call me back right now Sumo, bohout important baat karni hai"

He waited to see if the message was read. No, she wasn't even reading it. What was wrong with this girl !
First he did not know why she was avoiding him. Now she wasn't picking his calls or returning his messages.
But this guy Adithya was getting on his nerves. Who was he to dance with his Sumo like that, to apply haldi in front of everybody ? He was beyond irritating. There was something fake about him, his plastered smile, his trying to be nice and happy all the time. He silently cursed him and picked up his car keys. No matter what,Sumo needs to know he thought and drove to Tiwari killa.

It was late in the evening, Delhi traffic had slowed down a bit and he reached Tiwari killa soon.Sumo's room light was on. So she is awake he thought, then why not pick up the phone ? He knocked the door using the secret code. She would come to the door he knew. Once , twice and then thrice. No sign of Sumo. He called her again, no response.
Thats it ! Main tumhe phir kabhi bhi call nahi karoong our baat bhi nahi karoonga, he thought.But one question was eating him from inside, why ? Why was the sudden change ? Did he say anything to hurt her ? Sumo wouldn't run away from him, she would ask him if that was the case. He instinctively walked towards the park near Tiwari killa. Lalaji's words kept echoing in his ears"Yeh to tumhara khel hai puttar, dil se kheloge to tumhe koi bhi hara nahi payega"
The park was open and almost empty. A few couples were seated in the benches, thats when he saw her. There was no doubt, it was Sumo. He could only see her from behind. She was sitting near some steps, in the same place where they met during the Khosla case. She had been really upset that day. May be thats why she was here now.
There was a light behind her.It looked like she was just staring at her own shadow.He walked upto her. His tall shadow fell next to hers. Sumo did not look up. She knew. He sat down beside her and looked at her. There was a small gap between their shadows. She was still looking down.Her eyes were blank, in so much pain that couldn't be expressed. He wanted to hug her and take away all the pain, instead he just looked at her and decided to just hold her hands. Thats when he noticed that there was something in her hands. Her fist was closed, she was holding it so tightly that he could see the strain on her wrist.He moved closer to her, she said nothing and she leaned on his shoulder.
Shravan smiled. He had wanted this. He wanted an assurance that nothing had changed between them. He put his right arm over her shoulder and opened her fist with his left arm. He couldn't recognize it at first, it looked like a small arm band. He held it up in front of the light, it was a friendship band with his name written on it. He remembered how they had writtern their names and tied it on each other's wrist on friendship day in school.
She still had it. He still had it too, buried away among his most precious things.
"Sumo, tum mujhe miss kar rahi thi ?" he asked continuing to hold her hands and squeezed them.
He needed no answer. A small drop fell on his hands and all the pain in Sumo's eyes started coming out, one tear at a time. He held her and let her cry.

He would ask her what was wrong, but later.
He would tell her about Adithya, but later.
He would tell her how angry and worried he had been, but later.
He would tell her how much he had missed her, but later.
He would tell her that he had spoken to his father about them, but later.

Nothing mattered now.His Sumo was by his side. How blind he had been ? How could he even have thought that his Sumo could be someone else's ? Shravan smiled, content, that what was his, was his only. He kissed her hair,softly and felt her smile through the tears.
He didn't have to see it, it was his heart that felt it.

"Kahin Teri khamoshiyan
Jeet na jayeparse
Miljaane de jo dil bane
Ek Duje kevaaste "
Edited by nith125 - 9 years ago

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sapphire3 thumbnail
9th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 9 years ago
#2
It so emotional yet beautiful
Such a lovely interpretation of the precap
Loved it to core❤️
TITLE - FOREVER MINE (just a suggestion 😊 )
Nimik thumbnail
9th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail Networker 2 Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#3
Kuch baatein ankahi si - Just a suggestion 😛
hiral_2010 thumbnail
Explorer Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#4
Short but very very sweeet ❤️
I want this to happen in the show today 😭 it's Long time now..shravan should know about his father..
Confession should be done..m dying to see that 😭
And your os was the perfect one to fill up what I wanted...
Though there was no confession..no I love you was said but the feelings were conveyed ❤️ what was needed is already portrayed by you 👏
It's amazing!

Suggestion : u can name it as unkaha pyaar or unsaid feelings 😊
Edited by hiral_2010 - 9 years ago
bigddfan1 thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail Commentator Level 3 Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#5
wonderful awesome
👏👏
sptrno thumbnail
17th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 9 years ago
#6
awww beautiful & heart-touching dear...


tfs


love,
spandana
WhyAmIHereAgain thumbnail
10th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 9 years ago
#7
OMG...this was so so beautiful...loved it...
loved the last scenes...

he will tell her all that, but later...

Plz wrte more...
nith125 thumbnail
10th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#8
Thank you all for your lovely comments, I love this forum because the way you all support encourages me to write !
And to those who suggested a title, all your suggestions inspired me to name it Khamoshiyan.
A big 🤗 to all of you for all the love !
nith125 thumbnail
10th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#9

Thank you Eternity ! Glad you liked it !
Sunain thumbnail
8th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail Networker 2 Thumbnail
Posted: 8 years ago
#10
Very wel written..emotional hi kardiya..

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