Suvan Drabble: An Enchanting Agony

alina.b thumbnail
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Posted: 5 years ago
#1

An Enchanting Agony


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His chest rose and fell as his soft lips gently curved up.

Watching him felt unusual. Is this what serenity feels like?

Creases appeared on his forehead as the merciless sun shone onto his face,

carefully crafted by god.

I blocked the light like a bullet. But, it was too late.

Tears rolled down his rugged face as his nightmares returned to haunt him.

Like my own, his heart is also full of wounds.

His face eased as I caressed his disheveled hair.

We were both broken yet complete together.

I despised pain yet with him, even suffering seems beautiful.


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Clarification: This is taking place post-army. Early morning, Suman is watching Shravan sleep peacefully until the sunlight hits his face. She goes to block it to prevent him from waking up. But, the light triggers memories that cause him nightmares. Here, Suman compares the light to the bullet because bullet would give him physical pain whereas light gave him mental pain. She then implies, by saying both of their hearts are wounded that they are both suffering from PTSD (Post-traumatic stress disorder) from their army life. But, Shravan seems to be having a harder time. Together, they are slowly recovering and overcoming their pain.


A/N: Just a random thing I decided to write last night. I almost didn't post it because it's very different from what I usually write. The language is a lot more "flowery". Sorry, if it seems choppy...it is exactly 100 words (You can count it 😉). It was a bit of a challenge as I tend to elaborate a lot when I write but it was different.

Edited by alina.b - 4 years ago


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1177236 thumbnail
Posted: 5 years ago
#2

We were both broken yet complete together.

You have my heart here.❤️

This is beyond beautiful! ❤️

Loved it!

Uday_Shetty thumbnail
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Posted: 5 years ago
#3

It's so beautiful Alina!❤️

Love the way you turn words into emotions!

Keep writing!👍🏼

alina.b thumbnail
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Posted: 5 years ago
#4

Originally posted by: MishtiNew

We were both broken yet complete together.

You have my heart here.❤️

This is beyond beautiful! ❤️

Loved it!


Aww thank you! I'm glad you liked that line! It's a very cliche line 😆 but it's my personal favorite how two people are imperfect yet perfect together


Originally posted by: Pranushka_723

It's so beautiful Alina!smiley27

Love the way you turn words into emotions!

Keep writing!smiley20


Thanks Lavy Miyan!! I changed my writing style and choice of words for this so I was a bit nervous about posting it but I'm happy that you liked it!



Thanks Meena!! ❤️

Bacillusbadius thumbnail
Posted: 5 years ago
#5

Beautiful

especially anology of sun rays with bullet👍🏼

It's like tukdo mein tum the, tukdo mein main bhi

tukde mile toh hum bane (Broken but beautiful title song- Yeh kya hua)

Thanks for writing

alina.b thumbnail
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Posted: 5 years ago
#6

Originally posted by: Bacillusbadius

Beautiful

especially anology of sun rays with bullet👍🏼

It's like tukdo mein tum the, tukdo mein main bhi

tukde mile toh hum bane (Broken but beautiful title song- Yeh kya hua)

Thanks for writing


Aww thank you so much!! I'm glad you liked it! That is such a beautiful song...I've never heard it before. "Broken but beautiful" is a very commonly used concept.

XScarletHeartX thumbnail
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Posted: 5 years ago
#7

Wow, Alina! I am amazed! Such a beautiful writing style! I loved it so much! ❤️ keep up the good work :) 👍🏼

MJ_1009 thumbnail
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Posted: 5 years ago
#8

i like how you made the sunlight like a simile of bullet that inflicts only pain & how they both suffer from PTSD, a common illness in the army soldiers post military duties...we have high cases of PTSD in the US (many of my friends are in the military, particularly the navy or marine forces so i have witnessed their sufferings & some unfortunately committed suicide due to this😔)

thank you for sharing your work...i hope we see this issue being tackled in EDKV2...

Edited by Meena_J - 5 years ago
Bucky thumbnail
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Posted: 5 years ago
#9

How could I have missed this!

Beautiful, beautiful, Alina!


P.S Thanks to Shamoo for bringing it to this lost and ignorant girl's notice!

alina.b thumbnail
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Posted: 5 years ago
#10

Originally posted by: --Shamoo--

Wow, Alina! I am amazed! Such a beautiful writing style! I loved it so much! ❤️ keep up the good work :) 👍🏼


Thank you so much Shamoo ❤️ I'm glad you liked it!


Originally posted by: Meena_J

i like how you made the sunlight like a simile of bullet that inflicts only pain & how they both suffer from PTSD, a common illness in the army soldiers post military duties...we have high cases of PTSD in the US (many of my friends are in the military, particularly the navy or marine forces so i have witnessed their sufferings & some unfortunately committed suicide due to thissmiley6)

thank you for sharing your work...i hope we see this issue being tackled in EDKV2...


Yeah I hope they talk about the negative aspects of being in the army too...my grandpa was in the army and he always say how movies/TV glamorize it so much and don't show a lot of things they have to go through. As for PTSD, I feel like it's very common among US soldiers and it's so sad how some veterans are treated here.


Originally posted by: Bucky

How could I have missed this!smiley44

Beautiful, beautiful, Alina!smiley42

P.S Thanks to Shamoo for bringing it to this lost and ignorant girl's notice!


Aww thanks Bucky!! I was a bit surprised to see this post at the top too 😆

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