August 27, 2015 - The Angst
Oh My GOD!!!!!! That was the BEST Episode EVER!!! Let me just take a moment, catch my breath and gather my thoughts.
Everything today was beyond perfection and exceeded all my expectations. Every little detail in acting, expressions, dialogues, direction was flawless. I had to watch again - in fact this is one episode I can watch many times without getting bored. That is how much of an impact it had on me - it was just so beautiful to watch.
In my opinion, Arjun and Radhika stole the show today so my thoughts are to do with them only. If you are looking for Neil-Sam insights, sorry - none from me tonight!
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Nandini & Radhika
I love Nandini and I'll miss her terribly. She was the best antagonist (cupid in closet) on this show. We have never given her enough acknowledgment for all she did. I actually saw a human side to her today. Underneath that entire cruel psychotic exterior was just a very lonely woman who couldn't deal with heartbreak. In a lot of ways, she reminded me of Sam!
To her credit, she was very good at reading people and their emotions. Nandini might have won the revenge battle, but she lost her brother - and that is her biggest defeat. It was a bit of karmic justice - Everyone got what they deserved in a way. May I add that Shilpa played this character with the right amount of sugar and spice!
When she showed Radhika the true mirror of her feelings, our heroine just couldn't do or say anything. She knew in her heart what Nandini had mentioned was the truth. And the last words "Mere bhai ka khayal rakhna" - I just loved that line! Even Nandu knows, Arjun can only be happy with Radhika and that she is the only one capable of loving him unconditionally, selflessly - the way he deserves to be loved. What a rocking way to exit from their lives! Well done Nandu!
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Arjun & Radhika
There was so much emotional depth in their scenes today that I had to remind myself this is not real, and it's just a show. Kudos to Aham and Monica - they were both brilliant today! Aham in particular aced all his scenes.
Radhika, oh what a true gem you are. What a selfless, strong heroine! Sacrificing your one true love for the sake of your friendship - a big heart she has. Yet she couldn't just leave knowing how her love, Arjun, is in complete despair. So Radhika supported him ever so gently, as she would have liked to her entire life, even if it was for one night only. You know I realized something today - Radhika didn't tarnish Arjun's image to Sam or anyone else. Heck she didn't even do that to Nandini. She just revealed the truth to only one person it mattered the most. In essence she just resolved the issue, and decided to take leave. She only sees the good in people - particularly when she knows Arjun was not really at fault in this situation. And this quality of her sets Radhika apart from everyone else - a reason why our hero can't help but be completely enamored by her.
That first scene with Arjun, completely lost and broken, sitting by the window spoke volumes. If we think about it, in this game of revenge, the greatest loss was for him. His only sister, all his memories of familial love and happiness, were tainted now. Arjun was living his biggest fear today. I saw a helpless 8 year old boy with no family or friends who is just so afraid of the dark and being alone, yet that is exactly what life has given him time & again. The words he uttered with those pleading eyes, "Aaj mere andhere ko tumhari roshni ki zaroorat hai Radhika. Aaj mujhe sab chor ke chale gaye; Tum bhi mujhe chor ke chali jayo gi". He is living those moments all over again - his darkest memories that he kept at bay all haunting him in this moment. You finally understand why he thinks the worst of himself and unworthy of anything good; why he has turned his back on faith; why he doesn't think God can hear his pleas.
This was just such a telling moment, and I cried with Arjun. He has this notion of being such a horrible person that he truly believes if anything good comes his way, it can never be everlasting. Hence he uttered those words to Radhika "mujhe chhou ker apne aap ko ganda mat karo". He didn't want her touching him for support, because he doesn't want his misery to taint her life. Think back to the hospital scene when he tells her "Panauti to main hoon, jahan jata hoon, roshni cheen leta hoon." Despite Radhika telling him he isn't alone, she saw the fear in his eyes, fear of never finding any peace. And all she could do in that moment was cry for the broken Arjun she was in love with and could never be with to guide or comfort him.
Arjun was so completely broken that while he wanted Radhika to be his guiding light, he couldn't hold on to her for his selfish reasons. He was constantly fighting an inner battle of desperately wanting her to stay with him yet also not wanting to hold her back as she deserves everything good in life. We saw the weight of those words "yahan se door chali jao jahan mera saya bhi tum tak na pahunche", "please mujhe chor ke mat jao". And even in all this, he didn't like tears streaming down her face. Cupped her cheeks, wiped those tears ever so gently and asked the loaded question: "If these tears are for what could have been"... and her apt reply "for something that can never be". They are so in sync with each other emotionally and intellectually. And then Arjun just spoke his darkest thoughts in her words only "kisi ka pyar paane ki na to meri himmat hai aur na hi haisyat". The irony in this statement was while he meant these words for himself, Radhika took it in the sense she had said it originally, and that's why she held back - it was another thing that made her sure leaving him was the right decision.
She was also confused in figuring out the right thing to do. On one hand, Radhika just wants to hold him and make his pain go away, while on the other she respects Arjun so much that she feels she should abide him when he asks her to leave. It was such a touching scene when he grabbed her arm and begged for her to stay asking if he was not even worth her pity or mercy. Of course, it's not pity he deserves but all the happiness and love in life, as Radhika pointed out while she lovingly cupped his face. I loved this moment, where her one tender touch gave him the strength ("himmat") to tell her how completely shattered he was, and to ask her if she could give him that space in her heart, if she could mend his broken self and if she could be the key to his happiness! It was his undoing. While Radhika's eyes kept saying yes, she had to the right thing, and thus replied "mujhe jaana hoga Sir". Notice how he didn't let go of her hand completely, and when she gets up, out of desperation Arjun just hugs her so wholly like a lost child holding on to her for his dear life. And in that moment Radhika's patience breaks and she gives in to her love as Arjun repetitively tells her he needs her and to not let him go, at least not tonight.
For me this was the best part, where she took care of him like a true lover, and a true wife. She gave in to all those feelings inside her wanting to be Arjun's wife in every sense just for his support. The way Radhika cupped his cheeks kissing him on the forehead, taking his hand in hers, and guiding him to the room - no words spoken, none required in that moment. Such a powerful gesture - it showed pure love and affection. She was his pillar of strength and he followed her with unconditional trust. Seriously, I love this couple to bits - they can easily reverse their roles based on each other's needs as they did today. They are so in sync with each other.
I loved the way Arjun laid his head on her chest, completely surrendering himself to Radhika in her embrace. And she remained the cherish-er softly putting him to sleep, gently caressing his hair, just as he has done in the past. That is how they slept - on one side of the bed, in each other's embrace, arms intertwined, and heads aligned in the heart position. There was no wall of cushions anymore - no need for one - they were husband and wife in the truest sense. It felt so real. Epic Romance!
A moment of significance for me was when Radhika didn't let Nandini touch her mangalsutr or sindoor. In fact as she was ready to leave his life, she still had that on her. For her, signing the divorce papers mean setting Arjun free, but in no way is she setting herself free. This marriage is sacred to her and she has accepted him to be the only one for her; even if that means not being with him in this life. Sigh...
The pre-caps were just as awesome as this episode. I loved how Arjun's eyes were involuntarily looking for Radhika, and hands searching the bed to make sure she was there. Tomorrow, reality will come crashing on to him as she leaves him a note along with the signed divorce papers. I loved the panic in his voice as he screamed her name throughout the house looking for her. He looked taken aback when he saw it was Sam at the door.
I hope Arjun doesn't give Sam the time or chance to say / do anything. He should just leave her standing at the door without hearing anything she has to say - because to me, he has too much to lose and cannot afford to put further distance between him and Radhika.
In a way I am glad Radhika left him, because technically Arjun has never asked her to stay for the real reason, which is that he loves her and can't live without her. He only asked her because he needed her. And there is a difference - when he told her he needed her, he was that young boy afraid of being alone so she stayed with him until darkness ceased. Now Arjun, the man, has to make Radhika stay by confessing his real feelings for her.
Alright, until tomorrow! Good Night đ
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