-Chapter 15-
"Bas itni si hain chahat kii tujhe khusiyon see sawar doon
Kya itna bhi haq nahin hain iss dil kaa?"
Antara's POV...
"Rhea come on girl... come out now... it's been more than one hour you are inside!!" I said loudly banging on the bathroom door. I didn't have my shower yet and I was getting late in the 2nd day of office!! How cool!! "Di wait!! My potty bag is not cleared yet!!" Rhea's voice floated from inside along with her giggle. God!! she started that again!! even when she came to Kashmir, she used to spent almost two hours in bathroom and every day we ended up having our usual fight over bathroom. I got tired banging on the door and my voice chocked shouting out of my breath. Still she was seating on the commode seat like she was doing penance. At first I used to trick her to come out taking SRK's movie name but even the trick didn't work later. So I didn't have other things to do rather than banging on the door again and again and shouting so that your highness showed some mercy and came out fast. "REHA!! Just tell me something. How much do you store in your potty bag everyday that you have to spend two hours in latrine?!! Even the poor commode must be tired of getting your loads!!" I said making a face. "Di relax!!!" I heard her chilled out voice from inside, "You know some great man told that there are only two places where you can find ultimate peace. No one in temple, where god resides and no 2, in latrine!! So every people should spend at least two hours in either one of these places. Now see, we don't visit temple everyday but at least thus I can cope up with great man's advice!!" she told like saint. Yeah, no one could defeat her in talks!! "And I think this great man is none other than but Govind Kashyap AKA mammu. Right?!!" I asked from outside. "Bravo di!!.. but sorry... u didn't earned 7 crore for this answer. Cause this is not kaun banega crorepati!!" she told from inside. "Rhea!! My granny!!... I don't want 7 crore.. I just want to have my precious shower!! Please!! May I have this little thing?!" I asked almost banging my head on the bathroom door. "Ahh!! Ok di... Just for you, I will come out 10 mins earlier today!!" rhea said. "What?!! No way rhea I am getting late!! I need to take shower right now!!" I said patting loudly on the door. "Now?!! No way!! it's just one hour!! How can I disrespect great man's advice?" rhea said from inside. "Rhea please! Just spare me..."I almost felt like crying looking towards the wall clock. "ok ok... Chilax my di!!... I am coming out after 15 mins... But only for today... you know naa I am too kind.. I can't see someone in problem!!" her mocking voice came from inside. "Yeah yeah!!... Your elder sister is almost begging you for 45 mins to open the door of bathroom and you are whistling inside. that shows how kind you are!!" I said with a slight angry tone. I heard her giggles from inside. "Uff!! Mammu and her daughter... just the same.." I aid huffing and decided to arrange my stuffs in bag to spend the time. As I started to put the files and other necessary things in my bag I heard a loud bang on the door of my room's side balcony which left me startled. I quickly snapped back to the close door. Actually there were two balconies in me and rhea's room. One, which was faced to the front and streets of the basti and another, was facing at north side. Till I came I never visited that side balcony of the room. I just came at the front balcony every time when needed. Also it was only two days since I came there. The sound made me confused and curious and my feet automatically moved towards the door of that balcony. I didn't know why as I touched the door, my heart thudded all of a sudden. Fear?!! Excitement??!! I didn't know what that feeling was but somehow I felt like there was something like a big surprise was waiting for me on the other side of thing. I didn't know why that kind of weird thought came in my mind. But I felt a sudden rush of excitement through my nerves as I opened the door. The first thing I noticed that that side balcony of our room was straightly facing the huge veranda of naik sadan. I stood numb for a while. I didn't knew that the demon's den was so close to my territory, just some mere miters distance!! The white railings of Naik sadan's balcony seemed like laughing teeth who were mocking towards me. I looked down and took a huge breath to compose myself when the thing got into my notice. My eyes pooped out from my eyes. Just some hours ago, they were at the doorstep and at that moment they were again at the floor of balcony. My pairs of repaired shoes!! I stood there motionlessly for a while catching the two wooden frames of the door keeping my wide eyes to them. How the heck those thing reached there?!! I moved my eyes here and there but no one was around. So I moved forward and came out at the balcony. As I lifted the pairs of sandals from the floor I looked forward and the huge balcony of naik sadan came into my view. I never observed the place thoroughly. It was just some miters away from our little porch. I could see the veranda clearly from that distance. There was a little cot on which some massacred bedcovers and pillow along with some men's attire. I saw a mirror hanging on the wall which was directly faced towards our room. Odd!! I moved my eyesight to other side and saw a punching bag hanging from the above. Just some steps away there was someone who was doing pushups wearing a grey vest and black tracks. The sweats were caressing over his perfectly build feature and shabby hairs. His adam's apple was flaring due to frequent heavy breaths. His dark curious eyes were directly pointed towards my side but when my eyes met him, he quickly looked away hiding his gaze as if like a thief who was caught red handed. It didn't take a single second for m to understand that who the heck threw those pairs of sandals in my balcony. I glanced straight towards him trying to read what was going in his mind. Raghu just kept moving his horizontally placed feature up and down in a rhythmic pace. his white vest was plastered to his heavily sweated masculine chest revealing his abs. With his rhythmic pushups, his biceps were flaring as well as the visible veins stretched through forearms and biceps. Although his hard face was kept forward and he was trying to keep his firm expression, his eyes were glancing towards mine.
My whole feature stiffened from top to bottom as my cold eyes saw his every movement. Just look at that guy. Even after snatching my each and everything he was not satisfied. He was already busy in making my life a living hell, coming in front of my eyes whenever he just got any stupid chance or excuses, irritating me, reminding me about his presence near me every time, just what else he had left to do?!!! Couldn't he understand that his each and every presence was making me burn inside, reminding me about the failure of mine not be able to punish my parent's killer, reminding me about that doom's day three months ago, that booming ear deafening sound, that vision blurring light, that huge fire, those black mocking smoke and mostly... LOTS AND LOTS OF FRESH BLOOD WHO'S RUSTY SMELL STILL MADE ME DIZZY!! I felt my eyes getting blurred again. How long I would be able to hide those tears behind my eyes. before they came out my eyes, I shut them tightly as usual trying them to stop with my all force.
"Naam bata apna!!"... "Main tumhe kyun apna naam bataoon?!"...
Our first encounter... still so fresh in my memory, just like the torn pages of some burned photo album which got saved accidentally! So that's why he wanted to know my name so that he could mock me for the lifetime! If he was cruel enough to shatter me like a useless piece of glass then why were you showing your concern?!! Did he really want to smash the remaining shattered pieces and left nothing? My knees lost all its strength and I banged on the floor. My whole feature shook as I lose that. I felt my teardrop going down their way escaping my close eyelids. Someone screamed inside me to stop them. Why I was being so week in front of him?! I vowed to punish them and how would I do that if I became so weak. But at that moment, no logic worked for me, they didn't stop.
"Kyun mere sath aisa kiya?! Kyun?!! Akhir maine kya bigara tha tumhara?! Main too tumhe jaanti tak nahin thi... Fir mere sath hii kyun?!!" someone wanted to scream loudly from my inside.
The sandal fell down from my powerless hand and I pressed my palms over my face trying badly to cover my tears. My palms got drenched with moist drops.
Raghu's POV,
I knew she was looking towards me, I could feel that, her gaze over my. Though I was pretending not to look at her side but still even she was even in 100 miter radius within me, I could feel her presence. I continued to keep her tab through the corner of my eyes. I saw antara's eyes checking minutely on me, his eyes were moving at each and every part of my feature and I felt a tight not on my chest. some faint exciting vibration ran down my veins as I continued with my pushups and my speed increased. My breath was becoming heavier. I didn't know what the cause, my exercise was or I was really feeling some rare kind of blood rush inside me all of a sudden. Why such kind of excitement?!! My eyes were still cornered towards her. Strange, I felt so much disgusted whenever some girls gawked on me in that state. I encountered some of them before and I truly couldn't face there greedy drooling gaze over mine. But for the first time I felt different when antara's deep hazels were observing me thoroughly like that. Moreover I wanted her to look towards me, give me attention. Might be, the feeling of her gaze over mine! It was not like others. She was not looking towards me with some greedy mouthwatering gaze. Her eyes were so firm and cold. For the whole time, I couldn't even see a little bit tenderness in her expression. It somehow gave a feeling of pinching.
"Chal yaar.. chappal too lee liya... sar se bala tali..." Someone said inside me. yes, why should I be bothered if she was feeling angry or wanted to dance around in happiness?!! I just had to give back that sandal to her and that was done. So I didn't have any headache. Damn!! I was feeling so clueless sometimes that why those odd feelings were arising inside me on those days. Specially, whenever antara was near me, all I wanted was her attention. I got mad when she ignored me, when she threw her cold gaze towards me, show irritation for my presence, I just couldn't take her negligence. It made me restless, frustrated like hell.
Why?!! Just if she was not giving attention to me I was feeling insecure. Why I felt like I was losing her?! Losing her?!! What kind of odd thought was that?!! yeah it might be true that I was used to the attention of people on the road. the whole city knew me as Daya Naik's right hand. So where ever we used to visit in the city people used to give us special attention. So might be her ignorance made me insecure sometimes, but was that the true reason? Why should I bother if a single person was not giving attention to me?! She was not any special person. Not special?!! Again someone asked from inside. Was she really like some other people?! Then why her bitter words pinched me inside. Why I felt hollow inside me whenever she moved away leaving me behind?! I always felt that every time, during our first encounter in kashmir while she ran away escaping from my grip, the night in basti before two days when she came in our basti and in the morning whenever she just moved away from mine leaving me behind with so many questions, I felt that hollow inside me.
Sometimes I felt like there were so many words in those big brown hazels which she wanted to say me, but still she was forcing to hut her lips.
"Kahena too mere koo bhi bahut kuch hain... bahut sare sawal hain... sirf sawal nahin.. aur bhi bahut kuch.. jiskaa naa too koi matalb hain naa koi koi wajah... firbhi s**a andar khalbali machata hain... lekin jab tak woo batein jubaan taak pauche... woo fir se rajdhani kii speed pakar leti hain... mano kii jaise engine humesha garam hain.. bas start kar ne kii deri hain!!"
I was again tangling on my own thoughts that I forgot to keep eye on antara. My meaningless thoughts were again going to cover my mind and before they could again make me mad, I jumped up from the ground and stood up. Twitching my neck at both sides I tried to clean up my mind and stretchered stiffed muscles. I put on my shirt and while putting the buttons I moved my head towards antara's room's balcony and the scene again gave me another shock of the day.
Antata was seating on the floor hiding her face between her palms. Her whole feature was shaking tremendously which I could detect even from the distance.
It took just a few moments for me to rush like a mad and stood there clutching the railings of my balcony and leaning over them. Observing her throughout I tried to understand that what was that mad girl up to again? Why was she shaking like that?!! Was she feeling cold?! I scratched my head in confusion and again cursed myself for such stupid conclusion. How could someone feel cold at the middle of august?!! I had literally gone mad. "Par yee mooh kyun chupa rahi hain?! mere see Sharma rahi hain kya?!!..." the useless thoughts blabber in my mind, "Abey yaar... yee larki aur sharam?!!... woo bhi mere se??!!possible hii nahin hain... kuch aur soch..." I observed het silently for a moment. "Naraz hoo gayi kya fir se?!!" I kept thinking putting my fingers on my chin, "Abhi bhi chappal pasand nahin ayya kya?!!... Yaar, ek dam too nayi nabeli dulhan kii tarah chamka diya uske chappal koo... subha bhi chiku see kuch ajib baton se bahelaa fusla kar kalti kar diya... aur aab yee sab... ab kya karein yaar... issey chappal pasand kyun naii atta?!" I thought deeply. At that moment she removed her palms from her face leaving me in shock.
Antara's eyes were pointed towards the ground. Her face was again just like the night, cold, and colorless, just like an ice. The only difference was that there was something gleaming on that ice, like a part of it was melting. A thin invisible line was flowing from the corner of her eyes and running down her chicks. that's why she was hiding her face. SHE WAS CRYING!!!!
My all thought got jumbled up and someone groaned inside me. my heart trembled under my cage with such an tremendous fear and shook my chest heavily. As my eyes were frozen on her, I felt a lump on my throat. I gulped saliva too hardly as I felt my throat so much dry. It was the first time probably I saw antara crying for the first time. It didn't irritate me or pinched me, it literally hurt me inside. I didn't know the reason why but I felt like someone pushed inside me very badly. I clearly understood that it was nothing about her sandal. It was something deeper than that which was bothering her for all the time. And why did it feel like I was the reason behind all those?! I didn't find answer. She always used to behave like that in front of me. And that's what I wanted to know!! What the heck I did wrong to her?! Why couldn't I remember?! If I really hurt her then why didn't she just tell me?! I wanted to know. I didn't bit her like those goons yesterday, scared her or forced her for anything I used to do with some twisted peoples to get them back on way, damn I didn't even lay my finger on her!! I didn't do any kind of those things with her which could hurt her?!! Or may be... I remembered that yesterday while I encountered her on the road after driving away shetty's goon I was a bit harsh on her.
"bahut zor se pakar liya tha uska hath... Abhi bhi dard hoo raha hain kya?!!... kya ussi wajah se... nahin.. yee too uss sey pahele see hii apun se satki huyi hain!!..." I restlessly ran down my hands through my hairs feeling frustrated. No logic seemed to be proper. While I was jumbled in my own thoughts I heard a voice. "Antara!!..." someone called her and antara's whole feature jerked up. She quickly stood up and looked behind with bewildered eyes. She seemed like a bit afraid and quickly rubbed the traces of tears from her chicks and arranged her dupatta properly. I saw saroj aunty coming out in balcony. "Mummy!.." antara immediately forced a smile on her lips. It showed me that how quick she was to hide her emotions. "Antara tuu yahan kya kar rahi hain?!!" saroj aunty asked her. "Kuch nahin mummy... Rhea kii mission two hours in bathroom chal rahi hain naa.. ussi kee khatam hone kii wait kar rahi hoon.." she said as the twinkle glint in her eyes and her hazels again looked so alive. "uff!! Yee larki bhi naa... tu andar chal main ussey nikalti hoon.." saroj aunty said striking her head with unbelievable eyes. "Arey mummy choriye naa..." antara immediately said. "Tum dono beheno kaa naa.. kya bataoon.. ekdum anokhi cheez hoo donoo... itna jhagarte hoo phir bhi kisi pee musibat ayein too sab se pahele ek dusre ko bachane ke liye humesha ek tang pe khare hoo..." mummy said. "Arey mummy choro naa.. yee khatti mithi too hum dono kii daily doze hain... agar naa mila too lagta hain kii kuch adhura rahe gaya..." as antara said those words both saroj and she bursts into laughter. How bright she looked at that moment. I suddenly felt the lump was gone from my throat. "Arey antara yee kya hain?? yee too tera sandal hain naa..." saroj aunty said as she observed the sandals on the floor. "Haan mumy woo..." again her expression became sheepish. "yahan kya kar rahi hain?!! chal issey andar lee kee chal..." aunty sadi her. "Mummy par..." she suddenly hesitated and her eyeballs moved here and there. "Par kya antara.. arey kuch der baad too niklegi tuu office kee liye.. tab agar yahan para raha too fir se dhoond naa parega.. iss sey acha hain kii abhi lee chal..." aunty said, Antara still stood there motionlessly and I was observing the whole incident from my balcony. My palm feasted hardly on the railings.
"Uthayegi kii nahin uthyegi?!!" some restless voice asked in my mind as I leaned on the railings.
"Kya huya lee issey... kya huya?!!.. thik hain tuu ruk main utha leti hoon!!" saroj aunty immediately bend down to take the sandal and at that moment she reacted. "Nahin mummy... Aap kyun mera sandal legi... rukiye..." she quickly hold her mummy's hand and looked towards the sandal as if she was looking to some alien things. "Ek kaam kar antara.. issey pahen lee.. hath mein legi too hath gandhe hoo jayengey." Aunty said. "Kya?!!!" antara said as if like someone gave her electric shock. "Kya huya?!! chauk kyun gayi?!! Pahen lee.." Aunty said. Antara stood steal for a moment and finally she moved forward and slowly put the sandals on her feet with a bitter face. A victorious smirk occurred at my lips as she finally took them. I felt relieved as well as excited, didn't know why. "Chal... tera nahana hoo jayein too niche aa jana jhat se.." aunty said. "Jii mummy!!" antara said drily and saroj moved inside. she stood there still for a moment and looked down to her feet which was now beautifying the sandals. She looked at them like they were like some shackles, bounded in her feet. She glanced towards my balcony and found me standing there and looking straightly towards her. before, she could throw her angry gaze on me, I looked away and yanked stretching my hands. Scratching my head I kept tab on her through the corner of my eyes. she glanced towards me for a while with her usual hard gaze. But I was habituated with that. Somehow, I was not feeling bitter anymore. Antara slowly removed her gaze from mine and moved inside in slow pace.
Precap:"Arey aaa jaoo tum dono...koi problem nahin hoogi... main bata rahi hoon naa.." the old lady ordered us sweetly and affectionately from the back seat of jeep. "haan antara.. tumlog ajji kee sath chale jaoo... waisey bhi tum aaj thore late ho gaye hoo.. iss waqt auto dhoondne jao ge.. too aur bhi jhanjhat hoo jayegi..." mummy said from side. I was almost in trance of my old jumbled thoughts that I couldn't even react to mummy's offer. "What?!!" I just said in barely audible voice and my eyes immediately snapped towards the driving seat of jeep where he was seating holding the steering wheel. His eyes were fixed at front and I clearly detected the light smirk through the hard faucet of his face.
PS: Don't know whaat kind of thing is coming out in these days. 🤢 I am really utterly confused about this chapter. Just hope u survive.
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
