Abusive relationships - Page 2

Dear Friends,

Please stick to the social issue. The question is not how their relationship has changes and whether it will be like before or not.

It is , what can we do to face such circumstances???? What can a person do, in an abusive relationship and what is abusive relationship??? it is very important for us to know these things as youth and to deal with these issues to secure our future.

luv
ridhi

i think yes he was definitely man-handling her, but i dont think he meant for it to be abusive and she was trying to slap him. it seemed almost like by holding her closer, she might have a change of heart. it didnt really happen and instead made matters worse. i think armaan himself doesnt know what to do anymore to keep her happy and its his way of letting out his fruastration. he has become a bit obsessive with her which is why im glad he said that he doesnt want their relationship anymore either!

Its sad but true that I've seen an abusive relationship first hand, and trust
me this is anything but an abusive relationship. Yes it is true that in these
relationships include force and take many different forms. In emotional,
the person is being mentally tortured through things like insults and
degradation. In physical, it can take so many forms. Choking, beating,
pushing... the list goes on. I know how to say this in Hindi, not in English:
aise rishton mein ek insan doosre insan ko neecha dikhane ki koshish
karta hai, aur usse dabakar rakhne ki koshish karta hai. Yes, it is true that
armaan and ridhima have had their nok-jhok, but has armaan ever
wanted to hurt her? Has he ever tried to control her? Has he ever tried to
make her feel weak or insecure about herself? Has he ever tried to make
her lose who she is or what is her identity? No he hasn't. Whatever
happened today was pure gussa and nothing else. This isn't even close
to an abusive relationship. This is all their frustration coming out of them.
Most guys like to take out their anger in a little aggressive way, and well
this guy was a boxing champion. He wasn't going to hurt her. The poor
guy was irritated and just snapped. Abusive men are disgusting and will
go to any limit, and please don't call my armaan that. He is so sweet aise
ladke kahin nahin milte.
U r right about this being an important social issue. As I've said, I've seen
what such a relationship can do to a person. Honestly, it destroys them.
Who they were, what they ever wanted to become is gone because they
got stuck with the wrong person who does things to them that they never
deserved. And in our Indian mentality, with divorce being such a social
tabboo, well getting out of the relationship can be harder than it seems.
For the sake of social pressure and family pressure, women stay in these
relationships. That's why its important to try to get out of these
relationships as soon as possible. I'm not saying that if a guy yells at u or
gets a little jealous that means he's gonna abuse u. But when things get
out of reach, then women should forget about samaj and think about their
life, their safety and their dignity.

Wow I never thought we'd b discussing such a heavy topic on DMG of all
places. Let's lighten up a little yaar come on!

Ridhi-excellent topic. I had created a topic similar to this but it was closed and it made me upset because this is something that should be discussed now that the creatives have taken this show in this direction.

First off, let me say that all three types of abuse have been used-physical, verbal and mental/emotional. Also, I want to say that they have been used by both parties-not just one. People say that I am pro-Riddhima, but that is not the case. I am pro-ArmiRidz so what I am about to say on this topic completely balanced.

Verbally abusing is more Riddhima's department. Both A/R have used several heart piercing words, but Ridz takes the cake. Junglee and Aiyree gaiyree are pretty harsh. Vocabulary apart, the way they speak to one another is quite disturbing. Again, Riddhima seems to never listen to others and just goes about doing her own thing.

Mental/emotional is something that we've already seen. I mean, in this situation I think the people who have been abused mentally/emotionally are all of us DMGians.

Finally physical. Again, both of them. Riddhima only once...Armaan many times. Armaan is thinking only with his heart and not his head. For example, hes much stronger than she is and if something ever happened to her, like if because of him she lost a limb, how would that make him feel? It would ruin her life. Hes lost all sense of right and wrong in his obsession for Riddhima.

Its really late and Im kinda tired so I think that this will be all. I've pretty much said my piece on this issue. Please let me know how you feel about what I said.

armaan was being quite aggressive towards riddhima
i am really very sad the way things are goin in Dil Mil Gaye.

I miss the romantic Armaan and Riddhima but this track is vvvvvery realistic

Armaan is showing classic signs of an abuser. Violence, threatening to harm himself, controlling her like today, being possessive, and earlier being jealous of Rahul and not letting Riddhima spend time with him are all what constitute an abusive relationship. He is exhibiting obsessive traits, that of a stalker. He simply cant take no for an answer. Whether it is a no to a kiss or to end the relationship. If the girl does not want the relationship, he should stay away from her. If he loves her, he will respect her wish to stay away from her. He wants her at all cost. Like she was something to be owned, possessed. Readers, please make yourself aware of abusive relationships to protect yourself or your loved ones.

I am glad that Riddhima has decided to end the relationship. I hope the DMG writers use this opportunity to create awareness about abusive relationships. I hope they show that Riddhima has the strength to walk away from such a relationship and move on in life and emerge from this stronger than before. Young girls should be inspired to be strong and not take abuse from anybody.

Abusive relationships wear away the victim's confidence and can cause long term emotional and mental problems such as depression.

For all those who think that Armaan is "such a nice and romantic guy", remember that even in an abusive relationship, there are moments of romance between the couple. A healthy relationship is one where the couple respect each other at ALL times, even when they are angry with each other.

I disagree. Armaan has always said he trusts ridz and had no problem when she went to Lonavala with Rahoooolll. He is possesive and his problem with Rahool was he knew Rahool was messing with him because of the old college story.

He adored her, worshipped her, cared deeply for her and when the patiala incident hapenned, she became sharp tongued and nasty to him. She hurt him verbally which let him to slam the wall. That action I don't agree with. But u can see his frustruation of trying to get her to understand and her being adamant on her narrow mindedness.

No guy is going to stand by and get slapped again and again. He held her hand to stop her from slamming his face again. But at no time did he try to really hurt her, instead he came closer slowly to let her realize that she did care....

While I totally agree people need to understand the nature of an abusive relationship and when to get out, I don't think that this is the case here.

At this point its more a love - hate relationship. Love more than life and hate how she runs him down at every opportunity. It will be so till they come to a consensus of do they both hate each other enogh to seperate and get on with life.

i dont really know about relation ships because im only 13..😳...
but i would say that i would back off like ridz did..because that person needs a little time to cool down..and think everything over..soo yehh i would back off like ridz..😳

1. It was Armaan who messed with Rahul in college and not the other way.

2. Riddhima did not verbally abusive. She said he did not know the difference between what is right and what is wrong. And that is true. Even though he was trying to help Muskaan, what he did basically was decieved Muskaan's family into believing that he was her boyfriend. That is NOT right. Muskaan's problems were hers to deal with. You should know how far you should go to help someone. When Riddhima pointed that out to him he got frustrated about how he has changed for her. You should change yourself only if you think it makes you a better person, not because of anybody. If you change for someone else, it will always cause resentment later on. If you change for yourself, you will never regret it. Everybody has to change themselves. That is part of growing up and maturing. You cannot make a big deal about it. And you simply cannot blame anybody for it, learn to be responsible for your actions. She was also right in pointing out that if he felt so bad about having to change for her, he shouldn't see her. She gave hime the choice. That is how mature relationships work. You decide what works for you without forcing anybody, otherwise leave.

3. In Kasauli, Riddhima saw a new side to Armaan, a violent side. This was something she hadnt seen before and therefore hadnt bargained for it when she got into the relationship. So she has all the reason to be confused about the relationship. It takes time to process the new information. I dont think many girls would like to be with a violent person. I would have reacted the same way. As for going there to bring him back, again she was doing her duty as a friend. A relationship is friendship first before anything.

After coming back Armaan has been too overbearing and annoying. And I think Riddhima has handled the situation well. I hope for her safety (and I am using this as an example for other people in abusive relationships) she stays away from the abuser. Life is very long and she has all the time to find a better and a more caring person for herself.