15/4 : Sid-Riddz-Armaan:The heart bleeds. - Page 2

Originally posted by: Pocahontas

Hiyaa Poco! Wah kya post hai seeda boundary par shot maara! No surprise, I love reading them they complete my DMG segment in the day...=)

Armaan's thoughts :

You are married to Sid.... you are attached to him ... otherwise he wouldn't have been able to hurt you more than me. But he did. I know what this marriage means to you and i have seen with my eyes how committed you are to him....Today , when you ran away from the terrace sobbing, i lifted my feet to run after you but Sid... Sid and his pull towards you stopped me in my tracks. Instinctively, i knew it was right for him to go after you and not me. Sometimes, our soul within knows the right from wrong much better than us.....I stood frozen as he ran after you to console you. My tears are not stopping Riddhima .... but realization is setting in. You are Mrs.Riddhima Modi , and not the basket I came looking for. In a way , am sorry that i came back ... perhaps i spoiled everything - your life , Sid's life and my own life.... I know you were just beginning to move towards Sid and I came back.... stopping your rising heartbeats midway. I don't know how to make you feel better... how to return your new life to you... how to make you and Sid smile. I just don't know, Riddhima.I have never felt more helpless in my life..... never.....I want to make everything alright for you... and I will. I am going to return your new life to you....

Wow, it's as if your psychic, and what's even more amazing is that KSG/Armaan's face expressed the same! I cannot add to this as a comment just know what you have written has clarified so much for me. Awesome...at first I assumed it was only Siddhima that you could acknowledge so immensley yet today with your reasoning of Armaan's thoughts I have been inaccurate with my presumption =)

Sid's thoughts:

You never listen to a single logical thing, Riddhima, do you? You never listen and understand why one is doing what? You never say things that you should and when one tries to say them for you , you behave like a brat....I wanted to to hug you , silence your sobs , wipe your tears when you misunderstood what me and Armaan were trying to do. No, we don't think you are a puppet and we never meant to hurt you. We were just trying to do the right thing, Riddhima.... anything that would make you happy.The problem is that you have never told me where your happiness is...
I am Sid, not even kidding. Why doesn't Riddhima put more heart and soul into her justifications, she doesn't directly answer Sid's questions and then he assumes he knows what her answer is. The next day, she goes to Armaan and tells him she wants him to leave, albeit with a heavy heart, but then why is she soo surprised when Sid sends divorce papers. You value your marriage, you do not want a divorce, so tell Sid that please! Its not Sid and Armaan who are playing "ping pong" with Riddhima, its Riddhima pinging and ponging SidMaan.....eeesh. I love how both couples don't speak about themselves when they are in a room together but speak about the other's involvement. I demonstrate
SidMaan on the roof-talk about Riddhima and how the other deserves her
Armaan Riddhima-either speak about Panchgani or how he left her/ about her marriage with Sid
Sid Riddhima in today's episode-spoke about whether Riddhima still loves Armaan... why doesn't Sid just ask her , Riddhima kya tum MUJHSE pyar karti ho!? It would make life sooo much easier. I'm not on any particular side, but I am definitely getting impatient. Surely the decision is hard, but it doesn't take this long, I'm getting sick of seeing the characters crying and seeing their sadness everyday...
I have a dream, that one day.... Riddhima, Siddhant and Armaan.....will smile....together. I have a dream today....

you have only told me where your obligations and duties are.And life does not and cannot run like that , sweetz. It broke my heart to even think that i could have hurt you enough to make you cry and think of yourself as some puppet- the strange pull towards you brought me after you and I knew no rest until you stopped and listened to me.
I want a Sid/Maan, hopefully I can have whichever one gets fursaat from chasing Riddhima...even though she is wrong in her thinking that they are being selfish, both act with such genuine hurt when she degrades herself like that. They will let her finish what she has to say and go comfort her when she cries but none can correct her cause they lose the will to speak at the sight of her tears it cuts them up that much...=(
I had to speak to you , even if it meant chasing you around corridors or getting spanked by you. I just couldn't leave you like that.... perhaps i love you, Riddhima but i avoid thinking about my feelings for you. The bleeding starts all over again and i hate it. Whenever i ask you to make a choice , you give me two standard answers - Sid , I am married to you. Sid , you are my present. No, Riddhima. That is not done at all. You should be where your happiness is and your happiness is where your heart is.

Yup, failing to give determinative answers= a confused Sid who feels as if he has never progressed from where he started.
I know you feel like whacking me when i keep asking you about your feelings for Armaan - but i want you to face the truth, whatever it is. I want you to be with me because you want to be with me , not because you are Mrs. Riddhima Siddhanth Modi. Today , it moved my heart when you said in a pained tone - "Aise alag karna chaahte ho mujhe khud se.".....No. I don't want to let go of you Riddhima but i have to set your flight to freedom. You don't love me and i have no hopes that you ever will love me. You will not leave me , so i must do something....and I will.
Assuming again...what Sid knows and what he thinks he knows are two different things. The wrong question is asked, hence Riddhima's standard answers.


Riddhima's thoughts:

How am i ever going to explain to Sid and Armaan that when one moves from the past to the present , the person keeps the past in his/her heart as a fond sensitive precious memory and always loves it

Sid's question to Riddhima was far to subjective and this is proof. People define love in different ways...and such questions cannot have maybes. But like you pointed out, to explain what Armaan means to Riddhima is something which Riddhima cannot convey to Sid as he doesn't bear witness to it and it is not in her capacity to express in words. - and the same person opens his/her arms to the present , learns to love it and blindly gives his/her hand to it in the hope that they will walk towards a beautiful future together. Life has not been easy at all - I never thought i'd lose Armaan .... and i had never thought i'd get Sid. What choice is Sid asking me to make when i don't want a choice. Sid , you know how special you are to me and i myself have no answer to the feelings that i have for you. i could fall in love with you any given day. But you are not making things easy for me.
I feel for Armaan yet I still believe, just as Armaan has realised, that his coming back has understandably stopped Riddhima in her tracks. The fault was not Armaan's but since he has come to know that Riddhima is married he acknowledges how his presence has had a detrimental effect on her marriage. Life is not fair but with Sid acting as bridge between the two, it prevents Riddhima from seeking what she could potentially have with Sid. If Sid understood Riddhima for not wanting a choice, he would realise that Riddhima could focus on her relationship with Sid. Again Poco you point out that even if she didn't love him she would learn to love him. This was also evident during the honeymoon mandir scene. You don't know what you have till it's gone...that has been proven for Armaan and if Riddhima fails to convey what she wants to Sid she will be singing the same soon!
Armaan is the most beautiful wound of life whom you healed with hope and affection. Then, how can you not see that you pushing me towards Armaan , pricking me about my feelings for him only makes things more difficult for me?
Haha woops! I am commenting as I go along, so that comment above seems so pointless now, a repition of what you write here..apologies.😳
How can you not see that i need your support and our togetherness right now instead of your questions? How can you not see that Armaan will always be the summer field where i learned to love but you are the spring field where i learned to forget the autumn and pick flowers again? Don't compare yourself with Armaan and don't think about what i feel about him.
Sid cannot understand Riddhima and Armaan's relationship simply because he wasn't there to witness it. Therefore, he asks questions. Even though Armaan wasn't there when Sid came into Riddhima's life he refrains from asking questions because of the difference in their respective relationship statuses. Armaan's presence hasn't tagged/affected his and Riddhima's relationship. However Siddhima's relationship is more "official" and 'formal' which is why Sid feels as if he has come between AR and thus the marriage is becoming an obligation. He will continue to assume so until Riddhima doesn't tell him she willing wants it so that she can stay with him to be with him.

I am transiting between two lives and moving towards you - open your arms to me , don't create hurdles on the road that lead to your heart. Armaan will always be my shining star but it's you who is my guiding light. I need your arms right now , not your pointing fingers and pricky questions. Heal my wounds , don't poke fingers into them. Tell me once again that you are going to hug me and shield me from the biting winter. Armaan , it aches my heart everytime i see you - you know that i will always love you in a soulful way and you will always be in my heart. We will always be connected - we have cried enough over what could have happened and what did not happen but we have learned to live with it as well.I have come a long way Armaan and we can no longer interlock our fingers but you will always be with me - as i walk ahead with Sid, i am keeping you in my heart as the man who taught my heart to beat - the heartbeats that Sid found again from where you left them.
Beautiful.

Today , Siddhanth reminded me of Vanraj from HDDCS and Rohit from KHNH - A man who dared to love a woman whose heart belonged elsewhere and hoped in patience that he will find a way into her heart and he did.

Today , Armaan reminded me of Sameer from HDDCS and Aman from KHNH - A man who had the courage and bravery to let go of the woman he loved with his life and was content that she found a man who would love her as much as he did.

Sadly , Riddhima has a long way to go before she can be compared to Nandini or Naina.
Haha! I actually cracked up at this....she is kinda justified but alas she cannot be Nandini or Naina because they are women who faced the crossroads in their life with determination and integrity, understanding that what they had dreamt of could never be theirs and instead graciously appreciating what they did have and claiming it with opens arms. I am impatient with Riddhima. And no, she cannot have both.

Love and luck to everyone always,❤️

GOD bless everyone 🤗

Lovely post Poco! Lots of love, luck and good wishes! xx

tht was awesome..