The Jainandini Chronicles| NEW UPDATE| PART 9| PG. 45 - Page 17

Jainandini

The plates are set before us and I can practically see him drooling. He takes a breath in and inhales the scent. I can smell the cumin, onions, ginger and garlic; hear the sizzle of the puris which just came out of the piping hot oil. I wait for it to cool down, before I bother touching the steaming food, but Yash? He just pops right in. Like an impatient little one, he touches it, but it's too hot, pulls back, but goes at it again. Rips the puri apart and lets it sit for a second. He must have seen my eyes on him because he looks up and grins.

Yash: I know my face is irresistible and all, but you should start eating too.

I laugh and shake my head. If Uday had said something like that, it would have come off as arrogant, but Yash says everything in a friendly and approachable manner- as if he's always trying to break the ice- or prevent something from freezing over.

Me: I will, I'm just waiting it to cool down a bit.

He frowns at the response, and puts down the piece of puri he had been about to dip into the chole.

Yash: Aww come on Nandini. I can't eat before you do. That's just rude. My mom would kill me. And plus, it's just weird if you watch me eat. Are you sure you aren't a figure crazy girl?

Me: What a gentlemen. And you can eat, I don't mind. I'm just waiting for it to cool down. And I being health conscious is not being figure crazy.

Yash: Lies! The two are the same thing if you're a girl.

Me: That's flat out sexist!

Yash: When you have three older sisters who complain about their weight all the time, it's not. It's just a fact.

Me: Speaking of your sisters…which one do you love more?

Yash: I already answered that! I love them all!

Me: Lies! That's the oldest trick in the book.

Yash: Nandini. Is it just me, or are you mimicking my words?

Me: What? No.

Yash: Lies. You said lies. That's my word.

Me: Oh gosh. I guess you're right. It's pretty catchy now that I think about it.

Yash: Yes it is. So now, are you going to eat your food or not?

I grumble and start ripping apart the puri and we both start eating. The spicy but flavorful chole it my tongue and savor the taste. I hadn't eaten these in forever. It wasn't something royals ate…and the restaurants we went to normally didn't serve them. I enjoy the meal and it takes me a few moments…but I realize what he did. I look up, and he looks up at the same time. He knows I've caught onto him.

Me: You're such a cheater Yash!

He looks innocently at me and pops another piece into his mouth. Chews, keeps me waiting, drinks some water and then, finally replies.

Yash: How so?

Me: Oh, don't you think I don't know. Are you really this good at distracting people?

He grins ear to ear and leans across the table.

Yash: You haven't even seen me try.

I drop the piece that was in my hands and give him a dirty look in return.

Me: Really? I think that's what you're doing again. Trying to shock me into distraction. Nice try. But, I still have a couple questions left: Starting with number 8: which sister do you love most?

Yash: Are you seriously not going to let that one go? Please. It's such an unfair question.

Me: How so?

Yash: Well…they're all different. And I love them all differently. Nina and Mina loved me to pieces when I was a kid; Mia hated me. There are home videos of her giving me the death stare.

I laugh at the joke, but soon realize he isn't kidding

Me: Really?

Yash: Really. She was the baby till I came along, The twins were 5 turning 6 when I was born, and they had never been "only children" so they were used to siblings. But Mia had been the baby, and had been 3 when I was born. She disliked me with a passion; even with that…I love them all so much. I'd do anything for my sisters. Honestly, you may have heard the term "Momma's boy"

I can't help but think of Vijay Bhai in that moment.

Me: Yes, of course: My cousin is one of those, to an extent.

Yash: Well, I'm sort of like that with my sisters. They've always been the ones who have calmed me down, taught me numerous things in life; they've loved me even though most people have given them a hard time.

I wonder what he means by that, so I ask.

Me: A hard time?

Yash: Yeah, I guess it's tough when there's a son after so many girls. People want to make jibes and jokes about "try, trying again, until you succeed". My Parents never cared about the whole son thing, but there are so many other social pressures things people add into the mix all the time.

I feel exactly what he's saying. There is such a burden to have heirs and spares. From what I understand dad is a little bitter about not having a son sometimes: hence why he's so hung up on Uday and Manyata's relationship. Uday will be the son he never had.

Me: Yes, I understand. I guess it's the same here. My dad is the only son…and he only has two daughters, but never has our dadi resented us being girls. In fact, she's groo- taught us to fulfill every role of a son. To a degree, I guess.

Yash: That's good. Son preference is BS: and people are dumb if they think it's an Indian thing- it's all over the world. Heck my Irish Grandmother was freaking out that there wasn't a son in the family till I came along. Anyways to answer your question- in the literal sense- all of them. I literally love all of my sisters. Not in the same way, but I can't put on before the other.

I think back to the picture he had shown me. And He's right, the bond between them must be so strong. How would it be like to grow up with your sibling? Get to know their nuances, and have a best friend? Do I simply dislike Manyata because of her attitude…or simply because I don't know her? Would I have liked her any better if we had grown up together? I look up and give him a reassuring smile, because it seems that he is assessing me once again.

Me: That is a very good answer Yash, now Number nine.

Yash: Oh yeah. I have a couple left to answer before I can start grilling you, correct?

Me: Absolutely. Now… your favorite Bollywood movie?

Yash: Ahh..bollywood? Can I say none? I'm not really a fan. My sisters were, but I think that's mainly because of the songs, cloths and romance. I never really watched them.

Me: Come on, even a halfie has to have a favorite.

Yash: Halfie? Oh god. I haven't gotten that one in a while.

I wonder if he's offended, but I don't think so because he's smiling as usual as he shakes his head.

Yash: No, I'm not offended, especially since you said it in such an endearing way. It's just that when I normally hear it, it's not in such a refined manner if you know what I mean.

Me/b]: Really? Alright, so consider this number 10: The person you hate the most in the world.

I really expected some kid, who had taunted him….or something along the lines of that, considering he had to grow up with a certain amount of stigma, but he surprised me.

[b]Yash: I hate my mom's side of the family. All of them.

Hate is such a strong word…and Yash is such kind person, that it's hard to comprehend him disliking someone so much. But the distain is clearly on his face. The smile goes away, the brightness of his green eyes fades…his jaw tightens and his Adam's apple moves slowly. I don't know why, but my hand automatically reaches for his: to comfort, sooth and support.

His hands are large, calloused, and warm. They completely engulf mine in their warmth. He looks up and his eyes meet mine, and the tension just seeps out of him, and he gives me a tentative smile.

Yash: Enough about them. Tell me a little about yourself.

Me: Nice try, you have to be very specific, and you only get ten questions Yash.

Yash: I'll do fine in 10, promise.

He smiles and signals the kid for the bill, pays it and we start walking towards the car. The sun has almost set and people are milling around enjoying the evening.

Yash: Now, this question is not part of the 10: fair warning.

Me: OK, fine.

Yash: Where to next?

His arms are folded across the roof of his car as I stand beside him, by back leaning against the vehicle.

Where could we go? Normally I'd spend the night in a club, partying, drinking- but I don't want that with him. I don't want people, I don't want noise. I don't want a million flashbulbs and a million eyes. Where can we go?

Me: Where ever you want, I'm not picky.

Yes I am, I'm the pickiest person on the planet…but for some reason, with him it really doesn't matter.

Yash: I guess a drive then, because honestly I don't want to go to a club or lounge right now.

Me: Great minds think alike.

He puts his hand to his eyes and looks around frantically

Yash: what? Where, where is this other mind you're speaking of?

I roll my eyes at his dry humor and get into the car.

Yash: Hey! I saw that.

Me: Well, then you should know why too.

He shrugs and gets into the car.

Yash: Ok! Not my best, I know, but come on. It's difficult coming up with new material all the time you know.

Me: You only bring it on yourself you know.

Yash: says the lady who isn't philosophical at all.

Me: I can be, on occasion.

He starts the car and we go off, there's some soft jazz music playing in the car, and I'm waiting for him to say something and he finally does.

Yash: What do you want most in life?

I turn to look at him, and he's looking straight ahead, just driving. And I'm wondering how on earth can I answer this? There was one point in time, I wanted to be the Heiress, another where I wanted Uday, the other where I wanted Manyata hurt…and now. Now I simply don't know what I want, or where I stand. Do I want love? Yes. But whose? My mom's? My dad's? DS's? Whose? What am I looking for? Happiness? Satisfaction? Victory? Praise? Comfort? I don't know what I want. I don't have a clue. Can I have it all? Do I have to choose?

Me: I don't know. There's too much I want.

Yash: Shoes, belts, dresses and rings don't count babe.

I lift any eyebrow at his attempted humor, I can tell it by the way he's smiling.

Me: Of course they do, and I don't need those. But…I don't know what I want either. Happiness? Love? Comfort? Forgiveness? Peace? That's a loaded question Yash, and I don't really have an answer.

Yash: Its Ok, sometimes we just don't. But whatever it is, you'll know once it happens "this is what I needed in life; my life is complete"

Me: You speak as if you know what you're talking about.

Yash: Me? No. I don't. But my Mom did. She used to say that all the time. That her life wasn't complete until she met dad, she had money, education, the looks, the cloths…but it wasn't enough. And she didn't even go looking for him. Dad came to her. Sometimes things just happen.

My hand is laying right near his…and he won't grasp it. He won't reach for my hand, and do what would be so natural for any male to do in his position. Why? Even when I had held his hand he had eventually let it go.

Yash: Alright, next one. Most recent dream you had.

I had been looking out of the window, and whipped my head back to look at him. I don't want to answer the question…my last dream had been a nightmare. Even thinking about it makes me angry.

Me: It was more of a nightmare, rather than a dream.

He pulls his eyes away from the road and looks at me with concern.

Yash: I'm sorry, you don't have to tell me about it.

Even with his courtesy, I somehow find myself saying bits and pieces of it.

Me: It was odd…as if all the mistakes I had done were coming back to haunt me. It's not a pleasant feeling, and it leaves you a little hallow inside.

My hand is still there, and I can see his right left hand, twitch, as if he wants to move it, but he doesn't. He looks at me, and simply uses his words to sooth.

Yash: sometimes you need to be a little hallow, so something new can come and fill you. Don't worry, it's most likely your brain cleansing itself for a new chapter. Trust me.

And I somehow do. I do trust him. With every fiber of my being I trust this man, and I've only known him for a day.

_______________________

They park outside a little caf, and make their way to small ice-cream shop, Yash with his long strides, and J practically running to keep up with his pace.

J: What's the hurry Yash!

Yash: Ice-cream Nandini! Don't you want some?

J: But we just ate a mountain of food!

He stops suddenly, and J bumps into his back, and bounces back. Turning around he looks at her, mystified.

Yash: There is always room for Ice-cream Nandini. I can't believe you.

He looks literally shocked and J can't help but cause some outrage. She walks up to him- although her nose is stinging a bit- and pokes his hard stomach.

J: I'm wondering why this isn't hanging to the floor: you eat like a horse Yash.

He shakes his head and gestures at himself.

Yash: I'm 6 foot Two Nandini: If I don't eat like a horse, I'll just shrivel up. Not everyone can be 5 foot one and petite you know.

She looked up at him and was about to yell "It's 5 foot 4 in heels!" but didn't. She realized she wasn't in her signature Jimmy Choo heels this time around…and literally there was over a foot between them. Holy Cow.

J: Fair enough, let's go get your ice-cream.

Yash: Not my ice-cream. You're having some too. It won't kill you.

They enter the small parlor and Yash leaves her at a table, while walking up to the counter to place their orders. Comes back and takes a set across from her.

Yash: I thought of the third one! Your favorite flower?

She thinks about the endless flowers she had received in her life. All of the roses- various colors, and the expensive bouquets. And for the life of her she couldn't answer that question either. There had never been a flower that had held her attention for a long period of time. Never flowers she had woken up to every morning with a smile on her face. She recalled the daily rose Uday would drop for Manyata…and she felt a little envy. That overtly romantic flower still held some meaning behind it…a story behind it. But she herself had received so many that she couldn't differentiate between what her favorite one was, and which ones had meaning: they all seemed redundant.

Then she recalled the flower Yash had given to the little girl earlier…it had been white. And large, but from a distance she couldn't recall the species.

J: That flower, the one you gave to the little girl earlier.

He looked at her, almost startled and surprised that she had witnessed that moment. He had brought the flower for her. A white lily. He had picked it up because it had been his mother's favorite flower, and his father had always brought them every weekend for his mother. It had been a cherished memories of his childhood, and till this day his father brought them home to fill the void his mother had left. He had wanted to share that with her. Never had he given someone that flower which symbolized so much in his life. And it meant something, that she could be the one. Even with all of her anger, attitude, mystery. She held something that left him wanting more.

He had walked into the scruffy neighborhood and seen the poverty; but happiness. In his hands he had held the single white lily and the bag of chocolates. He had decided that when he saw her he would say I thought these might sweeten you up a bit but, a child had approached him and asked him if he would share one of his chocolates. He hadn't had the heart to refuse. Then more children had come, excited and anxious, and one by one the gift bag had emptied away. The little girl had not received a chocolate, and he couldn't bear to see her leave empty handed. So he gave her the flower; and the smile she had gifted him with had been worth it. So he had met Nandini with no gift for their date; that had been alright, he would simply bring her something next time- it wasn't as if she knew he had given away her gifts. But she had. And she did. But she hadn't mentioned it.

Yash: Ahh…that one? It was a white lily.

J: Yes, I like that flower the best.

He met her eyes and wondered why she would choose that flower over so many others, but did not venture further as to why. He seemed at a loss for words at that moment- which was a novelty. Their ice-cream arrived, it was a mountain of a chocolate Sunday, and J's eyes almost popped out of her head as she looked at the huge bowel of vanilla ice cream, chocolate syrup, strawberries, whipped cream and sprinkles. She could feel her thighs getting larger…but her stomach craving the sugar. Oh boy.

She was about to grab the spoon to take a bite of the delicious concoction, but Yash pulled the entire think to his side of the table. Her mouth made a surprised O over this occurrence, and he simply smiled innocently.

Yash: Yours is coming!

She looked towards the waiters, and there were a few walking around dropping desserts off, and finally one headed their way. He placed a small bowel in front of her. She looked at the measly item, which did not look as appetizing as what Yash had in front of him.

J: What is this?

The waiter replied: It's low fat frozen yogurt ma'am.

And walked off.

She looked from his plate to hers and felt a little sad, why would he do that?

Yash: Well, I'm just thinking like you would. I mean you're so health-conscious, I don't want to be a bad influence and all that jazz. So, enjoy your healthy dessert, I'll just clog my arteries alone.

She lasted all about two minutes before she picked up a spoon and pushed it into the mountain of ice-cream which he was devouring.

Yash: Hey! Mine!

J: Tsk, tsk Yash. Sharing is caring.

He dug further into the dish and stared down at the bowel.

Yash: That's a lot of caring then.

As they shared the large dish of ice-cream they managed to squeeze in some conversation as well.

Yash:So, what's your last name Miss. Nandini?

She had thought it out before and decided to stick with what was common and fool proof.

J: Singh.

Yash: Hmmm, Nandini Singh, well next question is….who is your role model?

J:Ahh…probably D…my Dadi. She's a remarkable woman.

Yash: Alright, and who do you dislike most in the world.

She thought about that, and wondered whose name to put up on the list. It was difficult…hating took a lot of energy and she didn't know if she could do it all of the time.

J: Ahh..I don't know. It seems like I dislike a lot of people.

He was surprised…this girl he was speaking to was so open, honest and fun. How could she hold so much distain for so many people?

Yash: Alright, moving onto number five. Summer or winter?

She thought about the cold evenings in London…and the warm weather at home. It wasn't a difficult decision.

J: Summer. I don't like cold weather.

Yash: Uh-oh. We're falling apart now Nandini. I love the winter. Give me a foot of snow and I'm on top of the world. You should see it sometime; snow is just the best. Too bad you guys don't get it here.

She had experienced snow, but wasn't particularly a fan; but she couldn't tell her she had lived in England for most of her life, and was well adverse with wintery weather.

J: I guess. But I prefer warmth.

His next 5 questions were nothing too testing; her favorite color, songs, movies….all little things that no one bothered to ask her. Questions she had to think about and wonder. Throughout the conversation she couldn't take her eyes away from his face, it became a comforting patter. He asked, she answered and both constantly pushed their spoons in to the dish and took a bite of the sundae. Soon, there was only a small puddle of melted ice-cream left, and no more questions between them.

________________

Jainandini

I can't remember the last time I ate so much junk in one day. But I'll never forget today. I know for a fact that had it been anyone else, they would not have been able to make me consume the amount of oily, salty and sugary food I had consumed today. But with Yash, I was too enthralled to count calories or sodium intake. It's like being a kid in a way: to have fun, to learn and explore. Nothing seems complicated with him. He makes everything simple. Why can't my life be like this every day? It's almost 10, and he's driving me back to the chawl. Even now, he hasn't bothered taking my hand. Not even once. What does he want from me? Are we supposed to be friends? More than friends? Is he gay? I don't get it. I feel this intimacy with him…doesn't he feel it? And if he does, why is he ignoring it. He doesn't take my hand, or touch me in any manner what so ever. It's odd, because Uday constantly touches Manyata; and it doesn't have to be a strong hold, but a caress of the shoulder, a brushing of hands. But with Yash, its none of that. Why? He's talking about how in high-school he snuck out for an all night concert his mother hadn't wanted him to go to; and how his older sisters dragged him back home. He has the most endearing stories, and I enjoy every minute of them. But part of me is wondering why he won't come near me. What does he see me as?

He pulls up near the outskirts of the chawl, and people are slowly settling in for the night. We both get out. And have this silent moment of looking at each other. What do I do? Hug him? Give him the royal, double cheek air kiss? Wave? I stand there like some love-struck teenager, grasping my cellphone, he looks down and chuckles.

Yash: I'm not even gone yet, and already you're looking forward to seeing me?

I give a nervous chuckle at his words…nervous? Why the hell am I nervous?

Yash:I'll walk you to your door.

He starts to walk towards the chawl buildings but I stop him, by gently holding him back.

Me: No, it's alright. I'll be fine.

He smiles tentatively at me, and shoves his hands into his pockets.

Yash: Good night then Nandini.

He's just saying good night? That's it? That's it!

Me: Ahh…good night.

And that's it…I pretend to walk towards the Chawl...and I find myself turning back, he's leaning against his car, watching me walk away, with a tentative look on his face. I don't know why the hell I bothered, but I turned back, and marched right up to him. He looked obviously startled to see me walking back, but soon put himself together once I started on him, again.

Me: Are you seeing me again?

Yash: Ofco-

Me: I mean, if this was just a onetime thing, let me know. I had a good time, and if you're expecting me to wait around a phone for your call that may or may not come anytime soon, then forget it. I don't wait for anyone, I'm done with that.

He simply ran a hand through his hair and had a "Oh god. Not this again" look on his face. How dare he!

Yash: What the hell Nandini-

I poke my finger into his chest, and don't back down. I need to get this out.

Me: No! You what the hell Yash. I don't get it. You don't bother to come closer, you don't take my hand. You don't even kiss me good night! What! Am I simply not our type! What type of guy takes a girl on a date- and this BETTER have been a date Mister- and doesn't even bother showing that he likes her more than a friend?

He obviously wasn't going to take any more from me and pushed my finger aside, and erected himself to his full height, towering over me.

Yash: Look Nandini, I was just being respectful damn it! You come from a nice Indian family, do you want me to throw myself at you! Sheesh, I have more respect for you than that. And coming from a family that has many daughters in it, I know that something's shouldn't be rushed. That's all.

Me: Oh really? Wow, I'm amazed, have you shown such restraint for other girls in the past?

Yash: No, but-

Me: But wha?! Yash, I'm not going to waste my time with some who's just fooling around. Either tell me if you're interested in me for being me or not. That's it.

He looks at me like I'm an idiot, and I feel like slapping that look off his face.

Yash: Are you nuts? Do you think I'd just take some random girl out for a date for the hell of it? Do you think I'd choose a white lily for anyone? Do you think I take endlessly about myself with anyone? Are you blind Nandini? I'm just being respectful. I like you. A lot. And I don't want to give you the wrong freaking impression: I'm not some westerner out here getting it on with the female population.

Me: Then kiss me you idiot! Do something! What up with this, "Good Night Nandini" BS: a Disney movie has more going on!

Yash: No! You live right here! Your family might walk by! What if someone sees! I know how it works. I come from family where we're overprotective about our females, I'm not going to set us up for you to get in trouble and for me to get my ass kicked by a bear of a brother.

I feel like laughing, why does he make everything funny?

Me: I don't have a brother.

He grins, and leans closer, holds my hands in his, his voice low and mischievous.

Yash: You don't?

Me: I don't.

Yash: Well, then…

I'm ready. I've waited all night to see if there's a spark. I know there is mentally…and I'm attracted to him…I just want to see if he feels the same way. His lips are so close, if I could just reach up and pull him closer. But his hands hold mine. I wait…eyes wide open; I need to remember this moment. It's odd, he won't look away either, his green eyes burn into mine…but he doesn't turn away. I suck in a break ready for him. But he simply kisses my cheek, and turns away.

Yash: Good night Nandini.

Did he just kiss my cheek?

Me: I…you…what?

For once he isn't smiling when he turns to face me, but he gently holds my hand once more.

Yash: Nandini. I respect you. And when I look at you I look at no one else. That being said, you're different. I want something different with you and from you. Wait. Be patient. Today's only the first day of forever.

He touches my cheek and I find myself smiling at this enigma.

He's right. Today is the first day of forever. I had never thought of forever till I had met him, and I'm damned happy I did.