SS || Qayamat Ho Gayi (part five, page twelve) - Page 7

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Anhdara13 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#61

Originally posted by: tvlover92

😲😲😲


I cannot believe I nearly missed out on reading one more awesome ff on ManVeer! I keep a hawk-eye out for them all the time, you see. I know. Jobless. 😆

Enjoyed Part Two to bits! I loved how Uday turned the fight into a shopping spree - reading Jay's expression is so worth envisioning. 😆

Aww, Unnati-Manyata's bonding here nearly dismisses my annoyance for the current TV Unnati. Nearly. 😆 But it was adorable nonetheless.

Awh! I cannot wait for Uday's actual reaction - hopefully the update will be uploaded soon? 😃

Majnu... Can you please make him non existent. Tired of seeing him on TV, tired of reading about him on FF, too. :| Unless you pair him up with Chikki 😆 Trust me you will make me amused and some forum members very, very happy. 😆

I liked the first post - Hope to be in the PM list! 😊

TC.


aww wow, that is so sweet! I keep an eye out for the ffs too! I silently stalk though, never leave a comment. shh, don't tell anyone. haha.

aww, wow thank you! I could see him being so manipulative, but not necessarily cruelly. And I adore fic!Unnati. People write her so well, so I'm going with how I'd like her to be on the show. This Unnati is going to be awesome. But hopefully not so out of character. 😆

Ahh, I actually love Uday's reaction to her later. But you'll have to wait for a bit. I only just posted this!

Aww, I was tempted to, but he'll be necessary to move the story forward so for now, he stays. Except don't worry, he's not so prominent!

Thanks, and definitely, you've been added!
Anhdara13 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#62

Originally posted by: atop

So sorry Radz for popping up this late, just got carried away with the week and couldn't gather much time to read until I saw your PM today.

Voila, what a treat yaar, loved both the parts obviously, no second thoughts about it. Well, it is a treat to read Uday's chracterization perfected to the T and it sure was a chuckling moment to have J behave in a way un-royal that too in front of everyone while Uday just effortlessly makes Manyata go shopping and that too buy the dress he liked.

I have always admired the friendship of Unnati and Manyata, very simple and great.

Well, one line which I liked the most was "She held herself with an assurance of her own worth, even without admitting to her royal blood", that was one sure bow worthy line amongst others.

You surely know how to keep me hooked into this and beg you for more, well it's a sunday today, so can I expect one more??? *puppy face*

The pace is great, more more more..


Luv Atop


Atop! Aww, it's no problem, I understand the feeling. And the length of this comment (and quality!) makes up for it. :D

Really? I was so worried I'd be out of character for him. He's hard to pin down when you don't watch the show religiously. Lol. And Manyata as well! Unnati I had more leeway with, so I wasn't so worried there. And Uday's manipulative nature is something I adore, but I didn't want it to be malicious. It's a game for him at the moment, making her do things. He cares for her in his own way, but he doesn't know how to express it.

And really? I like that line too! 😆 It's something that has always struck me, even in the show. She's so strong and sure of herself (or was in the beginning) and acted like a princess even when she didn't know she was one.

Haha, not yet though! I only just updated! Maybe later this week. :D thanks again sweetie!
-Zunaira- thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#63
First of all, Sorry for commenting so late ... Hectic schedule 😔

Great continuation. But I have to say I just loved how UV phoned her to tell her to buy that dress! That was sooo sweet and adorable! 😍 First he makes her agree to get a makeover, and then makes her buy the dress too! He sure knows what is best for her! They may be physically apart but he is still with her everywhere she goes - now that really is what you call a perfect partner! ❤️ 😍 Manyata you really have no idea how lucky u are! 😳

Usually I don't appreciate the presence of Majnu ... but here he is so vulnerable and disappointed! Just how he should be 😈 Sorry but my patience is starting to wear out regarding him.

Anhdara13 thumbnail
17th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 13 years ago
#64

Originally posted by: -SweetDreams-

First of all, Sorry for commenting so late ... Hectic schedule 😔

Great continuation. But I have to say I just loved how UV phoned her to tell her to buy that dress! That was sooo sweet and adorable! 😍 First he makes her agree to get a makeover, and then makes her buy the dress too! He sure knows what is best for her! They may be physically apart but he is still with her everywhere she goes - now that really is what you call a perfect partner! ❤️ 😍 Manyata you really have no idea how lucky u are! 😳

Usually I don't appreciate the presence of Majnu ... but here he is so vulnerable and disappointed! Just how he should be 😈 Sorry but my patience is starting to wear out regarding him.


Aww, it's completely no problem! I understand. I am so glad you took time to leave me such a long comment!

Thank you! That was also my favourite part. I read it in another fanfiction some time back and had to incorporate it in! And Manyata really doesn't, but she will soon!

Haha, I don't know if I'm making him to be the villain yet, or not, but I think whichever I do, you won't mind him so much because he'll be the catalyst bringing ManVeer together! Thanks so much for the comment!
Anhdara13 thumbnail
17th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 13 years ago
#65
Sorry for updating so late! I've been busy, plus I haven't been able to get part six written well. Sigh. So part five will only be up sometime next week after I've written at least part ssix and seven.

part four

------

"We have to go in this shop!" Unnati grabbed Manyata's hand and tugged her

"Unnati, mujhe bhook lag rahi hai," she whined. "Aur mujhe thakavat aa rahi hai, hum kuch kha ke wapas kyun nahi aate?"

"Nahin, Manyata," Unnati grinned at her friend. "Yeh humari sabse favourite boutique hai. This will be the last for today, I promise."

"For today?" Manyata repeated. "Unnati," her eyes widened. "I cannot shop like this everyday."

Unnati squeezed her hand in reassurance. "Manyata, aap ab ek Rajkumari hai. You will have to dress like a princess, completely. I know you don't really like it, but it's a fact of life that cannot be changed. We'll take it slow, okay?"

Sighing, Manyata nodded. She had been resisting the change, but she knew in the end, it would make things harder on her. And maybe if she behaved, and did as she was asked, she would be allowed to visit her friends, and keep them.

"Aur," Unnati turned around again to face the older girl. "No more of your usual outfits. We have to prove Jay wrong."

Manyata would have protested if not for Unnati's last statement. Instead, she smirked at her friend, receiving one in return. She let Unnati pull her into the boutique and stood quietly as the younger princess asked for some outfits to be shown.

As the attendants showed the two outfit after outfit, Unnati pulled out her phone to let her Dada know that they would eat out before making their way back to the Rajgarh palace. She got a quick reply, her Dada telling her to inform him when they left and when they reached the palace.

Less than a minute later, she received another message from her Dada.

'Make sure she buys something in purple. It'll suit her.'

Raising her eyebrows at the text, Unnati smiled slightly. Her brother was so smitten. She had never seen him act like this before. Maybe it was because it was Manyata. It would always be different with Manyata for Dada. As if thinking about her conjured her, Manyata appeared at Unnati's side.

"Unnati, kya kar rahi ho? Meri madad toh kar please?" She scrunched up her nose. "Mujhe toh kuch pata hi nahi."

Unnati guided her friend back to the attendants and asked to be shown the clothes again. She held up a few against her friend and put them aside.

"Could we see something in purple?" she asked, before adding on, "Dark purple, something that will compliment her skin tone."

The attendant bobbed her head and hurried off, gesturing for the others to follow her.

Manyata turned to Unnati. "Purple? Purple kyun?"

Unnati smiled. "It'll suit you," she quoted her Dada, not that Manyata knew that. She simply followed the other girl's lead. They sifted through the clothes the attendants brought back carefully until Manyata pulled out a deep purple anarkali suit, longer than the ones she had picked up earlier. Holding it up to herself, she noticed that it hit just above her ankles, and it was stunning. The sleeves were long and made of net, the neck was square, and the work, it was not overpowering. It screamed elegance and royalty. Manyata's eyes were wide, even as she wandered away from Unnati and the attendants towards a mirror. It was obvious that she had fallen in love with the outfit, but equally obvious that she was debating with herself on whether she could get it.

"Ma'am, would you like to try that on?" one of the attendants asked.

Manyata whirled around, stunned, having been lost in a world of her own. Her cheeks were slightly flushed, and she looked a little shocked at herself. Unnati wondered what she had been thinking. "Ji?" she stuttered. "Who – I –" She took a deep breath and started again. "Thank you, but no."

"Why not Manyata?" Unnati was stunned. The outfit was gorgeous, and Manyata obviously really liked it.

The look in Manyata's eyes was a little sad. "Because I'm Moniya, not Manyata. Aur Moniya yeh kapde nahin pehn sakti."

Unnati rested a hand on Manyata's arm. "Aap Moniya hai, yeh hum maan sakte hain. Par aap Manyata bhi hai. Aur yeh baat koi nahin tehl sakta."

Manyata looked down at the outfit in her hands, brushing one thumb against the net work that adorned it. They stood there in silence for what seemed like eons but was in actual fact just a few minutes before Manyata finally acquiesced and slipped quietly into the changing room.

If Unnati had thought the dress had made Manyata look like a princess, then the anarkali made her look like a queen. 'Dada ki Maharani,' she thought to herself. She nodded to the attendants and asked them to pack the outfit, even as Manyata declined it to another attendant. She would present this as a gift to her friend on another day, she decided. Manyata's reluctance was fear, plain and simple. Fear of what, Unnati was not sure, but she would give in to the older princess for today.

Manyata instead picked out a simpler anarkali, in a different shade of purple, and much less regal for herself. It was pretty, and it flattered Manyata. After paying for it, they left to get something to eat.

Lunch was a quieter affair than Unnati expected. Something was troubling Manyata, and had been since she had tried on that first purple anarkali. She wanted to ask, to help Manyata in any way she could, but they were only just becoming friends. Instead, she managed to make Manyata laugh by telling her stories of her childhood, stories whereby Jay always managed to end up embarrassed.

They reached back to the palace easily enough, and although it was evident that Manyata was still bothered by whatever was on her mind, she was pleasant and chatty. Jay was still out, a fact that Manyata relished in and joked about, leading to the two having to stop on the middle of the stairway because they were laughing so hard. Komal came to greet the two, and waited at the top of the stairs as the two tried to contain their chuckles. Her heart warmed at the sound of her oldest daughter's laughter. It had been so many years since she had heard it so freely given, and she prayed silently that it would be present all the time now that she was home.

------

Do let me know what you think!
adventure_gurl thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#66
loved it hope they meet again soon!
bl.drama.lover thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#67
thnks 4 the PM!!!😉
loved it loved it nicely done gal!!!😳👏👏⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
plzz do u write more cause i would love to read more ok yaar...😎
dumas thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#68
awesome update she is afraid of losing the identity she grew up with she see who she was suppose to be and she is afraid love the bonding between unnati and manyatha is so sisterly loved it thanks for the pm and an awesome update
salekh1 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#69
That was so cute
Loved Unnati and Manyata's bonding!!
Awesome job
Thank you for the PM
Please continue soon😃
desi chic thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#70
Hey Radz!

Just so you know, I've been silently creeping into this thread - relishing your writing, and then disappearing. I must say, some things just never get old. Rather, they beautify with time. I'm loving it, 👏 I haven't read the last update, but I would like to say thanks for indulging us!

I'll be back with more comments. Sorry, I've been slow and lazy with commenting lately, but I will get there, pakka😉

Cheers,
dc

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