Guests - kick them VS pity/curse them? - Page 2

Originally posted by: lighthouse

Most of Indians have this inherent sense of "Athiti Devo Bhavah" or the guest is god. It is true if the guest leaves after a couple of days but sometimes we end up with a guest who has no plans to leave until next x-mas.

I remember when growing up , we used to have guests all the time for weeks or months and it used to be ok with household help and a different lifestyle then here in the USA. Since moving here and being the first member of the family to move here 25+ years ago, we have had guests (some I can't even remember anymore) mostly new immigrants (family members and friends of friends) stay with us until they were stable enough to move out and live on their own. It is very tough on your lifestyle to look after fresh of the boat crowd as their expectations are highly different then what the reality is over here. You have to be the bad guy and hope they learn to clean up their room and bathroom/kitchen after every usage. Of course you have to be polite and entertain and take care of their needs but after a week or so they must learn the ways life for their own good.

Unless someone is using your hospitality over and over just to save hotel expenses when they are in town every now then , it is ok to help out a new immigrant until they get their bearings straight to start living on their own.

Thanks for sharing but agree motto should be when taken for granted time to become a 😈 for good. Makes me share a thought I learnt from my best college friend, never share rooms with best friends... one will end end up loosing friendship, off beat but related to topic.. if you know what I mean. 😳

Originally posted by: raj5000

Home is place for worship for oneself or place to attain peace. If guests who make you uncomfortable... basically you don't like them even after thier blah did favors or they personally helped you with same favor.

What do you say - kick them out on first instance of uncomfortness OR entertain them while pitying/cursing thier stay?

"Mann naa Mann mey tera mehmaan" ? lolsss kick them out😆

Geez..... this is difficult. If its a planned visit, then I know exactly how long they are coming for and would plan to entertain them accordingly. My bhai makes plans with the guests exactly what they want to do and go.

If its unplanned visit then it would make us very uncomfortable. Its ok for a day or two but anything more sure disrupts the family's schedule. Its best to be honest and tell them you have to go to work or studies and they can fend for themselves.

Tell them you are expecting another set of visitors soooooooon!!!😆😆 So they can make alternate plans.......... 😉😆

Originally posted by: raj5000

In that case do what you expect from others, simple 😆. Or for savfety precaution be your own guest and visit people for short time, but not gaurantee if they can do the same and barge in for weekend stay 😆-lol😆

Just tolerate their activities!!😕(short period😊), some moments all feel helpless.....😳😊

My story is pretty much same as what LH has posted for being first immigrant of the family in US and being here for over 32+ yrs. At times it was more like Drive thru and some kept coming back. Those were the wornderfully annoying days at times but they have passed too. Now enjoying the sanctity and peace 😳 😃

Guest must not cross boundries and become host where u feel like an outsider-guests in your own domain.

I say everything is good in moderation. 😛

great point DB. I have no problems with guests (given that they don't stay for more than a week 😆). However, having 2 little kids it really irks me when the guests expect to be catered to like they're in a hotel.

when this happens i just tolerate them until they're gone and then plan to avoid their phonecalls when i know they plan on coming next. 😃

like a few have mentioned here........guests should not cross the boundary and should not do things that disrupt the hosts lifestyle. clean up after yourself etc.

Since I am from a typical Malayali rural family there was always guests in my family(parents comparetively well employed) who were not considering the interests of the hosts. Even after marriage living in a city there was no limit of guests. My house was a halting piont for relatives from and to North Indian states becuase of the availability of trains. These relatives both close and distant even used our vehicles for their convenience. But at a point we suffered some financial problems along with the ill health of my husband. On hearing this even his own well placed siblings and mother stoped comming to our house( except my bothers who were with us thick and thin) for a long year, but slowly God help us all our problems were over and our gusts re-appreared. Eventhough i have some objections my husband is verymuch adament to entertain our relatives .
Thus I have no option, other than entertaing, but with some resevations, with out re-arranging our shedules.

It is correct guests should not cross boundaries. When I become a guest al ways remember this, even to my brothers house.