Accepting bitter truth in life! Right? - Page 6

Originally posted by: qwertyesque

I second applaud that... buffy...👏👏

Awww...Qwerty! Ab PT kaise karvaoongee? 😆

good inspirational work Shola. 👏 👏 👏

on the dowry front- to be fair to the seekers, is it always such a bad thing? i think some folks do have the mind-set where they would not want to give anything to the girl. everything, including all the inheritance, is to be passed on only to the son.

ultimately, dont a lot of people fight later on in their life over inheritance issues? even the sons? how is pre-negotiating before marriage what that inheritance will be for the girl, as dowry can be construed to be, then such a bad thing?

for every good parent, there are also jacka**es imo who wld not want to give a cent to their daughter. forcing dowry, especially after marriage is bad imo, but then so is the tendency for some parents to be stingy when it comes to daughters. progress on dowry issues should then go hand-in-hand wit inheritance rights. some of the latter is getting changed, but still how does the female deal with the social and family pressure on her to give up her inheritance rights?

Originally posted by: chatbuster

i think some folks do have the mind-set where they would not want to give anything to the girl. everything, including all the inheritance, is to be passed on only to the son.

progress on dowry issues should then go hand-in-hand wit inheritance rights. some of the latter is getting changed, but still how does the female deal with the social and family pressure on her to give up her inheritance rights?

That is a valid point. There are all kinds of sickos as you said. I also suspect that several parents don't provide equal opportunity and inheritance BECAUSE they are collecting dump load for her subsequent dowry! In several parts of India, dowry gathering begins when girl is born.

Dowry usually involves many things other than things that the girl can enjoy. Inheritance issues need to be dealt with better, but that does not mean her future husband's family has any right on that inherited money, unless the girl willingly wishes to give it to them.

It hurts me terribly to think of girls born in families that treated them as subordinates / secondary to their brothers. If the scare of dowry goes away, i wonder if they would think differently 😊

Originally posted by: mermaid_QT

That is a valid point. There are all kinds of sickos as you said. I also suspect that several parents don't provide equal opportunity and inheritance BECAUSE they are collecting dump load for her subsequent dowry! In several parts of India, dowry gathering begins when girl is born.

Dowry usually involves many things other than things that the girl can enjoy. Inheritance issues need to be dealt with better, but that does not mean her future husband's family has any right on that inherited money, unless the girl willingly wishes to give it to them.

It hurts me terribly to think of girls born in families that treated them as subordinates / secondary to their brothers. If the scare of dowry goes away, i wonder if they would think differently 😊

ok, it's clear that asking for money/ dowry after marriage is a bad thing. but what's the case against someone negotiating for it beforehand? in that sense, how's that different from negotiating a pre-nup?

just to clarify, am only raising this as devil's advocate. neither my folks nor i could be bothered with whatever the gal could ever bring in.😊

Originally posted by: chatbuster

good inspirational work Shola. 👏 👏 👏

on the dowry front- to be fair to the seekers, is it always such a bad thing? i think some folks do have the mind-set where they would not want to give anything to the girl. everything, including all the inheritance, is to be passed on only to the son.

ultimately, dont a lot of people fight later on in their life over inheritance issues? even the sons? how is pre-negotiating before marriage what that inheritance will be for the girl, as dowry can be construed to be, then such a bad thing?

for every good parent, there are also jacka**es imo who wld not want to give a cent to their daughter. forcing dowry, especially after marriage is bad imo, but then so is the tendency for some parents to be stingy when it comes to daughters. progress on dowry issues should then go hand-in-hand wit inheritance rights. some of the latter is getting changed, but still how does the female deal with the social and family pressure on her to give up her inheritance rights?

Thankoo CB!

@ highlighted part - what about girls who after they have received that hefty sum (and I am not talking about the dowry given to the in-laws) still fight for a share in their parents' property? I know someone whose daughter has ripped-off her dad and her two brothers of all the property through forgery and cheating. This is the daughter that the parents doted on and preferred over both the sons, and she has destroyed all of them. Greed comes in all shapes, forms and genders. The best way to get rid of the mess is to sort out the inheritance laws, and for everyone to make a will. I know it's being idealistic, but where's the harm in hoping 😃

Originally posted by: SholaJoBhadkey

Thankoo CB!

@ highlighted part - what about girls who after they have received that hefty sum (and I am not talking about the dowry given to the in-laws) still fight for a share in their parents' property? I know someone whose daughter has ripped-off her dad and her two brothers of all the property through forgery and cheating. This is the daughter that the parents doted on and preferred over both the sons, and she has destroyed all of them. Greed comes in all shapes, forms and genders. The best way to get rid of the mess is to sort out the inheritance laws, and for everyone to make a will. I know it's being idealistic, but where's the harm in hoping 😃

there's no harm sweety.😊

and to continue playing devil's advocate, cant dowry also be seen as a way of broadening the product line? of making it a deeper, more liquid market?😆 jisko paisa chahiye, they can go for dowry. jisko ladki se matlab hai, they can go for that too. just makes it a bigger market where different types of transactions can go thru, ensuring that all females can get married, by hook or by crook.😉😆 so why the gripe against dowry? naheen dena hai toh mat doh, there''ll always be other takers in a big marketplace😆

Originally posted by: chatbuster

there's no harm sweety.😊

and to continue playing devil's advocate, cant dowry also be seen as a way of broadening the product line? of making it a deeper, more liquid market?😆 jisko paisa chahiye, they can go for dowry. jisko ladki se matlab hai, they can go for that too. just makes it a bigger market where different types of transactions can go thru, ensuring that all females can get married, by hook or by crook.😉😆 so why the gripe against dowry? naheen dena hai toh mat doh, there''ll always be other takers in a big marketplace😆

oye CB yah par bhi free market dynamics...😆😆😆. I think girls should carry thier inheritance share with them during marraige that might reduce dowry.. based on PV assessments...😆.. it would be like the moment the dad says shaadi ki tariq pakki ho gayi hai... the girl should say... Jayadaad ka hissa kabhi milega...😆

Originally posted by: qwertyesque

oye CB yah par bhi free market dynamics...😆😆😆. I think girls should carry thier inheritance share with them during marraige that might reduce dowry.. based on PV assessments...😆.. it would be like the moment the dad says shaadi ki tariq pakki ho gayi hai... the girl should say... Jayadaad ka hissa kabhi milega...😆

hahaha naheen yaar. just trying to speak up for a lot of women the world over. how'd they ever get to enjoy any conjugal bliss if we did away with dowry? cant be so selfish, can we? 😆

Originally posted by: qwertyesque

oye CB yah par bhi free market dynamics...😆😆😆. I think girls should carry thier inheritance share with them during marraige that might reduce dowry.. based on PV assessments...😆.. it would be like the moment the dad says shaadi ki tariq pakki ho gayi hai... the girl should say... Jayadaad ka hissa kabhi milega...😆

Aisa kab hoga??? 😆 And what is going to happen to Bollywood and Kekta??? They will have to reverse the genders of "bad people" - instead of Kaveri, it will be Samar plotting and planning 😆

Originally posted by: chatbuster

hahaha naheen yaar. just trying to speak up for a lot of women the world over. how'd they ever get to enjoy any conjugal bliss if we did away with dowry? cant be so selfish, can we? 😆

On the other hand, women in this part don't get to enjoy conjugal bliss because the men are unable to provide the dowry! This tradition came into existence because in the early days female infanticide was a common practice to avoid the hassle of having to give huge dowries. In order to curb the practice, it was ordained that men would have to pay for the wedding expenses and with the advent of Islam, men were instructed to pay the women a certain amount of money which they could not touch at any point, or ask to be returned in the event of a divorce. Now it was the turn of women to twist the practice and demand unimaginable sums of money, gold and other "dowry items". There are countless women who are unmarried because their fathers are basically behaving like extortionists and not fathers.

Conclusion - Sab fasaad ki jad hai dowry! Do away with it and everyone will have conjugal bliss 😉 😆