Is 'Dowry' a Must??

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trolldemortx

@trolldemortx

Stunner

+ 5

Posted: 11 years ago

Hello everyone, I am from Sri Lanka, and some of my colleagues and I have been discussing the Dowry System in Sri Lanka & India.

When some of us thought that a dowry system doesn't suit the 21st Century, some argued otherwise. Someone even stated that the Dowry is a way of assuring financial stability of the start of a new and happily married life ! which I had to agree up to a certain extent! Having said that, I believe if a person has come of age to get married, he/she should be able to support themselves at least ! It is the 21st Century after all and it is indeed about not being dependent on anyone !

and another stated that, as a father he is obligated to give away his daughter with a dowry. whether the Groom's side accepts or not.

Just wanted to know your take on this subject !

Peace !

Steph

xx

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Angel-likeDevil

@Angel-likeDevil

Trailblazer

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

The system of dowry came up originally because, in the ancient times, daughters were

- looked upon as a "burden"

- she wouldnt even perform the funeral rites,

- nor would she "carry the surname - vaarasatvam",

And being a very rigid patriarchial society back then, they wanted sons to get the property.

Therefore, so that the girl wouldnt feel like she'd being thrown out,when they actually were in a rush to get rid of her, they'd give away some money along with her, so that -

- she'd be under the illusion that her parents gave something for her.

- money would also guarantee her an "alliance" ...this has been carried along for ages and ages, and EVEN today. Today, it's worse... people here in South India demand loads of gold, silver, land, plots, and a hefty amount of dowry...going in LAKHS, plus a great ceremony in 5 star hotels.

As times are passing by, there are still majority people who are only regressing, becoming more superficial, and so on... call it what you may like.

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baz786

@baz786

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

Dowry system in my opinion is wrong i mean to give xyz to groom n his family so that they accept daughter for marriage is disgusting

its like your selling your daughter

From an islamic point of view the groom gives haqq mahr to bride a mutually agreed upon amount of money so that the bride can support herself should the marriage fail

Of course if one lives in west the laws of country apply so bride would get half of everything that husband has

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return_to_hades

@return_to_hades

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 11 years ago

Actually dowry system came about as a means to give the daughter her fair share of the inheritance. The sons would inherit the father's land and property. The daughter would receive jewelry, clothing, cash and other assets when she married as her share. Marriage became a means to grow one's social standing and wealth. Dowry ceased being a gift and became something that was demanded.

Dowry is illegal and morally wrong. It should never be a part of marriage.

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Believe

@-Believe-

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

I feel,tradition the real culprit...this is prevelant in educated and uneducated societies...But customs and practices amongst communities are considered "laws" and hence the use of the expression is not wholly wrong. It may have been a practice but not following that practice or law also resulted in the family of the bride being ostracized and shunned in society!

I think everybody should ask your parents not to give a single penny to your would-be inlaws. The root of dowry is GIVING Dowry only that started from Bride's side only!(?!!) If you wont give dowry, you wont be single as there is more ratio of boys as girls as per census. But in India, No one wants to push their daughter into a life of ignominy! In a small town or village, a father wants his daughter wed, arranges a suitable match, the baarat is at the door and there is a demand for dowry! If he accepts, he is succumbing to the demands of the system, if he refuses, he is threatened with a likelihood of not finding another suitable boy for his daughter!

I feel,No mother n law or sister in law would have to fear anti dowry laws for the bride and the groom will set up their own home without assistance from parents of either. Living their free separate life, they will love, respect and support parents of both. If the couple set up their separate home, the biggest reason for son preference - son living with parents and daughter not doing so ,will go. Son and daughter will become equal. So abolition of the traditions of dowry and lavish marriage expenses is for the benefit of the entire society.

Edited by Vinzy - 11 years ago

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Shiv

@balashiv15

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

only people with disgusting mindsets would actually follow the system of dowry

dowry is an age-old practice followed in india

it is saddening to see the plight of the women and young girls being tortured for dowry!

the 'ladke waale' or so called in law's of the girl pressurize the parents in a way that they are compelled to give lakhs and lakhs of gold and expensive cars as they would further be taking care of their burden for them.

and the way they beat the girls is not just beating!

res(27/10)~ rest will be updated tomorrow

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not.here

@not.here

Inactive

Posted: 11 years ago

I know very little about the dowry system in India and Sri Lanka. However gathering from the comments I have just read I agree on the fact that both the husband and wife should be financially established before marrying. I also agree the dowry system should be abolished.

Weddings cost a lot and these demands - of which I have read and been shocked by - does not first seem necessary and secondly seems to hardly benefit the bride. I don't know whether it is a case of greed or not but regardless if the bride is rich or poor, no marriage should start with any form of debt and the bride's worth should never be measured in terms of how big her dowry is!

It reflects poorly on the groom, that he wants to take money in such a way from his to be wife, and his family. They should be ashamed to demand or even coerce in some cases money from the bride's family and then treat her very very badly (as in some cases I have read)

A dowry should never be a must for a marriage at all.

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Kankshita

@thegameison

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

There is a marked difference between various families' objectives. Some pack their daughters with cutlery and crockery and door mats because they just want to. Others focus more on cash and cars and houses and there may or may not be social pressure. But economically stronger people, they're always out there trying to put up a big show out of a marriage, so dowry is a part of the scheme.

Poorer people may be doing because they seem to think that they don't have the option of slamming the door shut in the faces of the grooms' greedy families.

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KrishnaKiMeera

@KrishnaKiMeera

Beginner

Posted: 11 years ago

Dowry is a disgrace to society.

It should not be given nor accepted.

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anael24

@anael24

Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

#10

i really think dowry means selling off the woman
nobody is a slave and only slaves are treated as mere objects..
it saddens me that all around this world..slavery is still in course and people arent able to change this
and will it be change??? seriously with all this dowry matters i dont think so..
when it comes to religion people are so sensitive but has GOD ever told us to practice slavery???
its all humans doings!!
and you are right..we are in 21st century but still some have an orthodox mindset!!
girls are burden but they are daughters,sisters,mothers,carers and most important they are the bases of a solid house!!
but people rarely recognise a girls capacitance...

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Is 'Dowry' a Must??

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