Stalking : Ever expierienced it?

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668201

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Posted: 13 years ago

#71

Never ever experienced it myself but seen my sister experience perhaps something similar to this. I was 7 or 8 olds I think and my sister was 14. We used to walk home from our school bus stop everyday and this guy used to follow us all the way to home. I was a little boy who didnt understand back then what was going on and most of the time I didnt even notice. I always saw my sister walking faster whenever that guy was around the neighborhood. Now that I think of I remember seeing my sister being very scared even when she got home and whenever I was sick or missed school she would let mom pick her up. I was used to laugh at tht and tease her how she was scared to walk home alone without knowing the actual reason. But now that I think of it, I understand why she was scared to walk home alone. She never told anyone about it not even mom. She used to suffer alone. Even now I think no one knows about this except me and my sister. Thankfully we moved out of that neighborhood couple of months later..I can only imagine what she went thru especially because that guy lived in our NEIGHBORHOOD. Maybe things wouldve been easier if she told someone about it but Im not surprised she didnt..Anyway she is engaged now and soon to be married..But yeah scary stuff..

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246851

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Posted: 13 years ago

#72

This reminds me of one incident on mine. I have been a open girl and i tell everything to my parents, my sister and my grandma, but i somehow never managed to tell this incident.

I was 12-13 then, it was 1999. I went with my mother to this asram place in kolkata, and mom bought me some kachauri as breakfast. She gave it to me and told me to have it while she was doing the puja upstairs, So i went downstairs and this good bhaiyya/ uncle showed me an empty room to sit and eat it. Everyone called him nice and my mother and grandmothers too liked him a lot. After i finished eating he said give those empty box to me and i will through it away and while taking them from me he felt my breast properly.

I was very uncomfortable and ran away to my mom after that, But i never really realised until much later that it was infact molestation.

Its nothing compared to what women go though, some of my friends have worse experience, but to date i never told anyone and now you guys know it. I just stopped going to that asram totally and would kick up a huge fuss whenever my parents wanted to take me with them.

That guy was really probably a nice guy in all aspect and i still do not understand why me?

Anywho, it hasn't really affected me in anyway but offlate reading all the rape incidents, i seriously plan to learn self defense.

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496295

Suspended

Posted: 13 years ago

#73

Originally posted by: asru
I admire u girls for ur courage..Firstly for not letting those incidents effect u, secondly for being bold enough to share it on the board!
Never actually thought about it...but now i feel fortunate to not to have faced such traumas in childhood..! I had a few ardent followers/stalkers from the time i was in 7th though. Never had issues with the silent harmless stalkers..they just used to follow up where ever i went..yeah initially i was scared..but then i learned the art of scaring them off..! I had one person in uni, who was my senior who stalked me..This person was difficult to deal with.he caused quite a lot of trouble apart from following me up where ever i go ...he went crazy when i didn't accept his proposal!Thankfully, i had some nice friends and seniors who helped me out from this guy.
None of these were complete strangers to me..one lived in my neighborhood...and then my classmates..school nd college..but not complete strangers.
Sayali - I could imagine how u felt when u had a creepy stranger following u up in the dark! That sounds disturbing...just glad that ur safe and out of that situation and now planning to buy a pepper spray for safety!

The incident you shared about that senior in college--sounds quite dangerous to me, actually. You were a fortunate person not have faced anything major out of it. but normally, in 90% cases, such obsessive lovers turn out harmful. According to research and articles on the net, love stalking can lead to rape, murder or mutilation.

Originally posted by: sayali_babes
Love Obsession Stalkers

These are individuals who become obsessed with or fixed on a person with whom they have had no intimate or close relationship. The victim may be a friend, a business acquaintance, a person met only once, or even a complete stranger.

Love obsession stalkers believe that a special, often mystical, relationship exists between them and their victims. Any contact with the victim becomes a positive reinforcement of this relationship and any wavering (even the slightest) of the victim from an absolute "NO" is seen as an invitation to continue the pursuit.

These stalkers will often read sexual meanings into neutral responses from the victim. They are often loners with an emotional void in their lives. Any contact with the object of the infatuation, even negative, helps fill this void. Failed relationships are the rule among these individuals.

Many suffer from erotomania. They have the delusion that they are loved intensely by another person, usually a person of higher socioeconomic status than them or an unattainable public figure. They are totally convinced that the stalking victim loves them dearly and truly, and would return their affection except for some external influence.

During questioning, police find that most love obsession stalkers have fantasized a complete relationship with the person they are stalking. When they attempt to act out this fantasy in real life, they expect the victim to return the affection. When no affection is returned, the stalker often reacts with threats and intimidation. When the threats and intimidation don't accomplish what they hoped, the stalker can often become violent and even deadly.

Thank god you came out safe.👏

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Boogle.Schiz

@Boogle.Schiz

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Posted: 13 years ago

#74

@Xoxo

I've noticed that too. If you ever go to a club in a gorafied area, you'll have no problems at all. Most are chivalrious and have great mannerisms. However if you're ever in an Asian (more specifically, the Indian sub-continent) area you'll definately experience something not so pleasent. I was in a bus a few months ago, and it was completely packed, it was a full-on asian area and I felt something digging into my butt...first I thought it was a bag or something and I let it pass but after a few minutes I realised it was the man behind me. I felt disgusted for days on end.

I've gone through much worse...concidentally there was two other occasions just like Arwen.

One I'm not sure specifically what happened as I was very young then maybe just 4...I know it happened though, it definately happened but it's so hazy and unclear. The second instance I was a bit older 7 or 8 and my mother's friend's son kissed me, smack on the lips...I wiped my lips but he insistanly kept on kissing me. I've let it go, I still talk to him...after all they are family friends but it still haunts me at times. What happened the first time I feel too disgusted to share, I'm still surprised people can stoop so low.

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Boogle.Schiz

@Boogle.Schiz

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Posted: 13 years ago

#75

I also went to a all girls school with a bunch of eve-teasers that would wait outside the school gates every day. The only thing you could do is really block them out and quickly walk away. It was really some of the girls that lead them on and kept them coming...though I haven't personally been stalked by any of them I know many girls who have.

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246851

Hibernated

Posted: 13 years ago

#76

My young cousin gets stalked a lot, ever since she turned 15. I don't what she does or doesnt, but we are so worried about her all the time. Once she was coming back from tuitons, some guys stopped her auto and snatched her umbrella. They would be following her, she would get weird phone calls a lot, she herself is always calling them, And she is a secretive minx who will hardly tell her parents whats going on. They live in jamsedpur where law and order are just 🤢

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souro

@souro

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+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

#77

Originally posted by: Tannistha
My young cousin gets stalked a lot, ever since she turned 15. I don't what she does or doesnt, but we are so worried about her all the time. Once she was coming back from tuitons, some guys stopped her auto and snatched her umbrella. They would be following her, she would get weird phone calls a lot, she herself is always calling them, And she is a secretive minx who will hardly tell her parents whats going on. They live in jamsedpur where law and order are just 🤢

Isn't snatching umbrella just that... snatching? 😆 Can't compare that with stalking.
And if she's calling them too then it is more or less consensual. Although as a 15 yr old I doubt how much sense she has especially when it comes to judging what she's getting into.

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blue-ice.

@blue-ice.

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+ 4

Posted: 13 years ago

#78

Originally posted by: souro

Isn't snatching umbrella just that... snatching? 😆 Can't compare that with stalking.
And if she's calling them too then it is more or less consensual. Although as a 15 yr old I doubt how much sense she has especially when it comes to judging what she's getting into.

There is a reason why a 15 year old is not allowed to vote or drive...they are not mature enough...so wooing a 15 year old even if she is calling them will fall under the category of pedophilia...its not consensual until the kid is 18...that stalker will be twiddling his thumbs in jail if the parents decide to take this case to the police...but then like I said ...don't trust the Indian police or judiciary...money can buy anything..

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souro

@souro

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Posted: 13 years ago

#79

Originally posted by: blue-ice

There is a reason why a 15 year old is not allowed to vote or drive...they are not mature enough...so wooing a 15 year old even if she is calling them will fall under the category of pedophilia...its not consensual until the kid is 18...that stalker will be twiddling his thumbs in jail if the parents decide to take this case to the police...but then like I said ...don't trust the Indian police or judiciary...money can buy anything..

What if the other person is also below 18?

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blue-ice.

@blue-ice.

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Posted: 13 years ago

#80

Originally posted by: souro

What if the other person is also below 18?

Well thats what the juvenile detentions are for...he goes to juvi...and maybe he can even be tried like an adult if the courts decide it...In any case the courts always look at the intention...suppose a 16 year old girl and a 17 year old boy are in a relationship and are intimate with each other...and after a year when the boy turns 18(adult) and the girl is 17(child) and they have sex...that won't make the boy a pedophile...courts always look at the intention...

Edit: Two people below the age of 18 cannot enter into a contract...so even if the other person is below 18...its not consensual..

Edited by blue-ice - 13 years ago