Is it possible to crush on someone you hate?

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438673

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Posted: 14 years ago

#31

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438673

Hibernated

Posted: 14 years ago

#32

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souro

@souro

Alumni

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#33

Originally posted by: Midnight_Shade
Okay, lemme grant your wish,

Congrats, Zouro, for taking over the plush office. So, tell me, how's it feel to have the privilege of panoramic view of Nike sweatshop from up there in your executive leather high back chair with Shades for company. 😛

There.

Hi, Middy. Hmmm... how does it feel. Well, it doesn't feel any different than what it felt when I first joined DM.

Originally posted by: krystal_watz
Wow, Souro, congo-bongo. 😛
Happy trigger-yielding once the battlefield is ready for charging in. As of now, this place has become a Reminscer's paradise. Fresh blood charge in-yo! 😎 😉

Thanks and yeah it would be nice to have new members and new viewpoints. The oldies already know what the other oldies are going to say on a particular subject. 😛

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souro

@souro

Alumni

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#34

Originally posted by: Midnight_Shade
Yup, curiosity to the point of obsession. That's what leads to a girls fall from grace when it comes to bad boys. Btw, have you noticed that it's often the "good" girls that fall for "bad boys"? I wonder why that is the case?

Might be because the 'good guys' have already fallen for the 'bad girls'.

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441597

Suspended

Posted: 14 years ago

#35

If there was a concrete theory behind this, then it would go like this:

As humans, we bear limited capacity to hold onto an emotion consistently. ANY emotion, be it love, hate or otherwise. It is impossible to carry on hating or loving with uniform intensity over a stretched period of time..of course, exception to this is the Love of Parents for their child. In that case, it is the instincts at play, coupled with the responsibilty that the job naturally endows them with.

Gebnerally, when we despise somebody to the core, we tend to develop an Obsession, Negative Obsession ,as it must be described . On one hand, we cannot get enough of brooding over their seemingly insufferable traits, and at the same time, it develops within us a niggling curiosity as to why they are what they seem. As I said, hate as an emotion cannot be overstreched beyond its limits, especially if done with a passionate intensity. So after a point, the intensity of the HATE decreases and it turns to sort of a fascination or an Intrigue.

We find it difficlut to accept the fact that someone could possibly be so impulsively obnoxious or incorrigible. So we try our best to think over and look for an "Explanation" behind their "errant antics". Like you said, we love to think that the person in question could be projecting a Tough Cookie image of themselves to shield their inner sensitive layers. People like to try and attribute a specific reason to the behaviour, like "some emotional void, some deep trauma, etc etc, ".

That way, the person gets more acceptability in our minds. So even as we seethe with disgust or anger at the very thought of the person, we never really "Give Up Hope" for them.

Gradually, this justification process develops into a investigavtive curiosity accompanied by a sexual fascination if the person concerned is of the opposite gender, and eligible. Curiously though, this is seen to happen more with females, i.e., where a Female is the hater. Here, the urge to know "what lies beneath" is accompanied by a desire to "Unmask and discover a regular person", probably by means of seduction. We want to see the "Smirking Jerk" or a "Cool Bitch" as ONE OF US, and apparently the easiest way to get to their bottom is physical intimacy. So therefore, the Sexual Undercurrent is inspired by the investigavtive tendency to "conquer", to see the Person as Normal and "One of Us".

Done...now i hope readers will be gracious enough to try and pick out Sense from this jumbled theory. 😛

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Ajnabee

@*Woh Ajnabee*

Stunner

Posted: 14 years ago

#36

Originally posted by: return_to_hades

Yes. I'm Gretchen Wiener. I have a big head full of secrets. You are Regina George. Evil personified who knows how to use secrets. 😆

----------------------------------------------------

To be on topic again. POH explained how you can be attracted to someone physically but dislike their personalities. I think everyone will crush on someone because they are hot, but beyond that you find the person mean, shallow, or just not likable in your books.

However, crushing or liking someone you dislike is a very common phenomenon. Most people experience that. Scientifically, the same part of the brain that triggers hate triggers love as well. It just is a curious matter of how the neurons react. The movie Ten Things I hate about you completely captures the experience of hating things about people, but discovering overall how much you actually like them.

Who can forget the sonnet

I hate the way you talk to me,
And the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car,
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots
And the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick,
It even makes me rhyme.
I hate the way you're always right,
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh,
Even worse when you make me cry
I hate it when you're not around,
And the fact that you didn't call
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you,
Not even close'
Not even a little bit'
Not even at all

@Regina George: Honey, I'm not a bi*ch, I'm THE bi*ch, and it's Ms. Bi*ch to the rest of you. 😛 I think you'll do well as Gretchen. 😆

@Crushing - A lot of times you just think you hate that person because they are a lot different than who you are or very different from who you think you would like to be with. However, physical attraction can come into play and then you start hating the fact that you are physically attracted to this person when you don't really like their characteristics. Sometimes, you learn that he or she being different is a good thing and they complement you well and other times you say that was a just a crush, good thing I'm over it. I don't think this is a "good boy" vs. "bad boy" issue but rather the number of differences between you two. Sometimes, it can also be applied in the case when you know you can't have or be with a certain person, but you can't help but be attracted to them regardless. In that bit, you end up really hating yourself and that person for having the most gorgeous hazel-colored eyes that look up at you and ... ooops, got a little off-track there, didn't I?!? But you get that point. 😆

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Ajnabee

@*Woh Ajnabee*

Stunner

Posted: 14 years ago

#37

Originally posted by: Lucifer.
Can i be infatuated and yet hate the same person?.. nah, not really. If she possesses personality traits which I deem undesirable, then that's a complete turn-off irrespective of her physical appearance, however, can I appreciate the fact that she's hot?, yes :D

I think when people say "hate", they really mean disliking a person's certain characteristics/traits, and perhaps later learning that you really don't dislike them that much after all. I agree with you that I don't think it's possible to be attracted to someone that gets on your nerves. I usually feel like strangling them at that point anyway ...

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Kezia

@MagixX

Rocker

Posted: 14 years ago

#38

Yes. Always happens in B'wood movies, doesn't it ? 😆 😛

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Ajnabee

@*Woh Ajnabee*

Stunner

Posted: 14 years ago

#39

Originally posted by: .Doe.
Yes. Always happens in B'wood movies, doesn't it ? 😆 😛

And in Jane Austen's novels! I think your display picture is from Becoming Jane?

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Forever-KA

@Forever-KA

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 14 years ago

#40

Originally posted by: sayali_babes
It is a very common, yet unusual to hear of, phenomenon. People getting attracted to individuals they detest otherwise. A friend of mine has a neighbour who she describes as "arrogant and cocky", besides being rude and inconsiderate. But at the same time, she admits she's got a strong undercurrent of feelings for him.😆 My question to everyone is:

Do you, think, that you could have a crush on someone who you hate?😃

First of all I don't hate anyone. Second, I just don't know what this word "crush" is, honestly. Now if we frame the question to

Do you, think, that you could eyecandy/love/sing song/spread arms for someone who you dislike?😃

Answer is no.

However i think it is possible. As someone said here that is the story of every second bollywood movie. I hate love stories had same story. The bad boy (the player) slept with countless girls and was self proclaimed "player" and yet the girl fell for him. Oh he has a heart too..lol. The good boy (dholakia) got the door. I am still figuring out what the heck happened there. lol. The reason given to goodie was "you are so perfect" lol

so yeah why not..when girls can flirt with girls and boys with boys then why not this...everything goes these days. movies glorify players...they all end up as cases of "nau sau chohhay kha ke, billi haj ko chali" lol.

hope this answered ur question.

edited a little

Edited by K-A-L - 14 years ago

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