Parental Discrimination

There was an interesting discussion on the morning radio talk show here. One listener is a mom of a 5 yr old daughter and a 9 yr old boy. She had her daughters ears pierced at 6 mos. Now her son wants to get his ears pierced. She turned him down, because she feels earrings are for girls not boys. Obviously her son is upset at his moms 'unfairness', why can't he if his little sister can. The mom is wondering if her decision is reasonable or actually unfair double standards for her kids. People were calling in and discussing their opinions. Some people said that parents both kids should be able to get pierced and she is being unfair. Some people feel that its ok to discriminate this way because some things don't suit boys like earrings, long hair and they can do all that when they grow up.

What do people think of this? Is the mom being reasonable or unfair?

Are there instances where it is ok/not ok to distinguish between ones kids? Obviously there will be some age discrimination, older kids can watch some shows, can have/go to sleepovers while younger kids have to wait till they are older.

Is it ok to discriminate between kids on gender. I know that for many desi families, boys tend to be allowed to go out late more than girls, in many cultures people are ok with male youth smoking or drinking but not girls, on the other hand girls tend to get away with other things.

In what instances parents intentionally discriminate between kids? Is it always fair? How do parents explain to kids that these different rules are fine and not unfair.

it's okay for the parent to take decsisions. It's okay if kids retaliate to their decisions. These clashes of taste and opinions make up what we call life.

Yes generally ear piercing is for ladies but these days kids love to piece all over their body; they seem to be averse to pain.

In Hinduism, ear piercing of an infant regardless of the gender is considered a sacred ritual. The reason stems from the anatomy of the ear which resembles the shape of "Aum", where piercing it is considered to be just dotting the Aum thus completing its shape.

The Vedas poses its own set of reasons for why an ear piercing could be vital for kids. Common between male and females, it is intended to open the inner ears of the child for receiving sacred sounds. This rite has deep mystical and symbolic significance. It is believed that merely hearing sacred sounds has merit in that it cleanses sin and nurtures the spirit. The continuous pressure in the ear lobe perhaps helps in keeping active that part of the brain responsible for memory. It must be mentioned here that piercing the ear at the bottom part of the ear lobe is the recommended.

Besides,the theory of acupuncture also states that the meridians connecting the brains have its lineage in the ears cartilages where piercing the ears could expedite the functioning of brains.

Now that ear piercing is more of fashion than a ritual today, I guess it wouldn't be a big deal if the mother allows her son to get his ears pieced as well. Perhaps, if she is scared of the fact that her son would turn into a sissy she must be wrong. To comply with the current trend, her son could just get one ear pierced (i had one too ..).

There is a reason why parents discriminate between kids when the family has a boy and a girl growing up at once and they reach puberty. The girl is given more attention in particular and boys are left easy could be because parents assume that a guy could get away with any situation unlike a girl who ought to get married in future with a 'clean history'. Admittedly, this is not the case with the west !

Favoritism, intentionally is wrong. There are families who give importance to their male off springs as they would take their legacy generations ahead and that a daughter would burden them with her wedding expenditures and nothing else. Sounds gimcrack, although it is a fact ..

I had one of my ear pierced during school days too. I was looked upon with attentiveness and not teased for being gurly.

Here lies the generation gap. Kids have an altered taste which does not meet the wave-length of that of parents. Also sometimes, parents fail to respect the views of their kids and go on by dominating their persuasion and hence opposite poles react (collision here) !

Originally posted by: ieatbrainz

I had one of my ear pierced during school days too. I was looked upon with attentiveness and not teased for being gurly.

Here lies the generation gap. Kids have an altered taste which does not meet the wave-length of that of parents. Also sometimes, parents fail to respect the views of their kids and go on by dominating their persuasion and hence opposite poles react (collision here) !

Yes most adults are bullies😆

Originally posted by: blue-ice

I know...dil to bachha hai ji.....every one has a child in them....

Actually, I don't think the mother is discriminating the boy. He's too small, he should be told that once he grows up he can do whatever he wants to, because NOW, he doesn't know what he wants or what is right for him. 🤔 He should be told that he's too small, and might regret later on, when he grows older.