Before I proceed any further, I would like to acknowledge a couple of things.
My ignorance is the size of this universe. Relatively speaking, my knowledge is an extremely tiny spark which is trying to shine some light on my being which is engulfed completely with the blackest of the black and the darkest of the dark ignorance.
Forget knowing all the answers, I am not even going to pretend that I know all the answers.
I have alluded to thoughts before. One of the initial thoughts I had after I began contemplating Consciousness and started questioning my identity was a sanity check thought. It asked me if I was depressed. Yes, that thought did cross my mind. Lo and behold, the very first question on this thread, when I expressed a few of my thoughts, was from debayon who wanted to know if I was depressed. I could go on to tell you that some of the questions of Summer, Sarina, Karan, Sneha and Gauri are my questions too. Some of their thoughts are mirror images of my thought processes too. I have thoughts that offer me unconditional support (Baz, love_vs_hate). I have thoughts that are extremely bored and so want to be in the present (Boredgirl). The attitude and some of the views of Believe and Emptiness are my views and my attitude when I was in college. I am at times indifferent and at times interested in my thoughts (Midnight_Shade). I have thoughts that want nothing to do with the direction that I am going in (the_Naked_face and P1nk). I have thoughts that do not say anything but try to gauge where it's all leading to (Meena1). I have thoughts that question from where and how I am going to allocate time to pursue my quest (finicky2010, mind-googling).
I wish I could say I am trying to fool everybody. I wish I could think that my core thought is fooling some of my other thoughts. That would be a lie.
Knowingly or unknowingly chan.barbie has asked the biggest question that has been in front of me since quite some time now. Why even see ONE?
I am struggling with that question. I can't comprehend ZERO. I can't grasp nothingness. I can't shut out what is out there. If I have to assign a number for the sum total of all the knowledge, matter, energy and experiences that is out there, I am being forced to go with ONE. Either it is there or it is not there. If it is there, it's ONE. If it's not there, it's ZERO. Till the time, I am not part of that ONE, I would like to think of it as ONE. If and when I am part of that ONE, I would switch the damn lights off and make it a ZERO.
Edited by Mister.K. - 15 years ago