'Physical Needs' - Can it be justified always? - Page 7

Originally posted by: gengarjetty2

^^

believe, to be honest that sounded gross.--Sorry is it PG rated Topic! 😊 dont worry buddy... keep spamming 😆

Originally posted by: Believe

I believe sex is very important in life becos sex is the root of life. we all are born out of sex, our every cell in the body is a sex cell..... Sex cannot be denied and any society that denies sex becoms suicidal. Thn it is denying life itself. .....so sex is very significant, very meaningful. Bt you can do two wrong thinks with sex..... One is, you can be suppressive...after marriage or before. Then you create perversions..that suppression will lead to perverted mind...they can do anything with that mind.... I think if he or she is one's husband or one's wife, if one is nt in love.... thn it is immoral...... If love is the base, only then can you be honest, sincere and authentic. If love is the base then marriage becoms, by n by, a superficial structure.😊

ONLY the germline cells are sex cells.

While there is no objective moral truth, people do have morals and their "medium" of action depends on their moral threshold. While a ONS is acceptable behavior to some, it's not for others. There is no universal "acceptable" or "unacceptable" code of ethics that people must follow in order to satisfy their physical needs. Post/pre-marriage shouldn't really matter. To me, that seems more of a personal choice and not a matter of ethics, when there is commitment and consent from both parties.

I take a libertarian approach to things - 'An it harm none, do as thou wilt'. So for me consensual physical relationship between two adult human beings is their prerogative - as long as no one is harmed - be it physically or emotionally.

Now regarding specific instances -

Prostitution: This is the worlds oldest profession. We have had several debates here on this topic itself. Without delving excessively into details. If a person willingly chooses to trade their body for monetary benefit, it is a choice they make. I may morally disagree with that route but I cannot take away a right to choose. I actually support legalization of prostitution so that prostitutes can be tax paying citizens and receive legal benefits of legitimate employment. It also protects society from illicit, unprotected, unsafe sex. It also protects prostitutes from being abused or made to do something they do not want to.

Mistresses: I am against men or women who have sexual relationships outside of marriage. That is cheating and it causes lot of emotional damage to their significant others and families. Now if the spouses consent to their husband/wife sleeping with other person(s), fully knowing the consequences - that is their choice. Personally to me that is weird, why make a commitment then. But sex and love are two whole different things and not all people can find the two together.

One night stand/Casual sex/Friends with benefits: Perfectly fine as long as both parties realize that this is not serious, long term or real. They both understand the risks of attachment, and one sided, unrequited love and engage in it for physical pleasure or whatever reason.

Live-in relationships: Perfectly fine as both parties involved are on the same page with expectations. They are aware of the risks and choose to engage in it either due to fear or unpreparedness of commitment or just having a casual short term relationship.

Now sex is just another basic human need just like food and water. However, just like you need to eat and drink healthy - for the well being of oneself one has to make good choices related to sex too. Another caveat with sex is that for humans it is not purely physical pleasure, it is an expression of love. So people really need to be aware of all the implications.

Physical need varies by person to person. Just like people have high or low pain tolerance, people have high or low tolerance for lack of sex. Some people can will themselves a lifetime without sex, some people need release everyday. As long as no one is harmed or abused in the process nothing wrong with the need for sex.

Once the sex hormones kick in everyone will feel a sexual desire. Masturbation, po*nography etc are some of the alternatives for people. Some people can meditate it away, some people engage in physical activities like jogging, kickboxing - or find alternatives to manage it.

One should always be emotionally ready and mature for sex. Even if someone has had sex before, they may not be ready to have sex in a new relationship. Men and women both can experience regrets and depression if they have sex with the wrong person at the wrong time. Sex is also a part of marriages and long term relationships. If that aspect is not fulfilled, something is wrong and needs to be taken care of. At a certain point people need to work out if love is enough to overcome the issues or not. Sometimes it does not work out and people have to be honest and admit it - instead of cheating and hurting others.

Sometimes people will end a relationship because you did not have sex with them or it was not good enough. That does not mean they are bad people. At least they admit it, instead of two timing and cheating. It merely means they were not mature or ready to love or compromise in the capacity you needed and they were not the right match for you - its best to move on.

One more caveat with female prostitution is the kids whose dads will not accept them thinking that they can't be his babies, you know how that works right;) and later when the same kid along with other kids ends up on the street begging, the person will wonder, oh poor kid will die of hunger after all, these are all our children we should do something about them, without ever thinking that he is actually speaking the truth as he is his own son born out of a casual encounter he had 30 years ago or when at the age of 50 he goes back to his home country to satisfy that never ending thirst and calls a 16 year old girl inside as an object of pleasure, would he know that he is building one more relationship with his own daughter. Now if the only motive of his life is pleasure at any cost then what difference does it make, right ;)?

Casual sex:
One point about this is related to how much one values oneself and how much one values relationships in general. For example how low one can go to have food. Start begging?

If one presents oneself like a public property to almost anyone, just to satisfy physical needs, then it can deteriorate one's self esteem. It can demean the value of relationships.

People who sleep around don't seem to value relationships that much. I don't claim to know all of them, but some of them say things like "Why cant I fall in love with 2 people simultaeously?", "One is not a man if one doesn't sleep around with multiple women", etc.

My response is that its human to get all sorts of strange ideas and urges, but it takes character to control these urges. Who will be called a week man/woman? one who gives in to all of his/her urges or is able to control them if needed?

Connection with Love:
When we connect it to genuine/true love then I am in support for it before and after marriage 😉.
On the other hand, its also great if someone says no to it before marriage as this shows that they have some character. This shows that they have some principles and they are strong persons to abide by those principles. In fact this also depends on the type of society and their principles.

However one specific case, related to love, is that one should not take undue advantage of other person's weakness if later it will lead to a guilt trip or a feeling of insecurity for the other person. For example people are very susceptible to give in when in a state of depression, too much private proximity, etc. It could be wrong to exploit their weakness, for example depending on other person's principles.

Otherwise could it be overrated? (a case of grass is greener on the other side? 😉) Do all people dream about food unless hungry?

Originally posted by: nanshr

ONLY the germline cells are sex cells. -- I mean it in different way!

While there is no objective moral truth, people do have morals and their "medium" of action depends on their moral threshold. While a ONS is acceptable behavior to some, it's not for others. There is no universal "acceptable" or "unacceptable" code of ethics that people must follow in order to satisfy their physical needs. Post/pre-marriage shouldn't really matter. To me, that seems more of a personal choice and not a matter of ethics, when there is commitment and consent from both parties.

In our society If one m/woman has failed you,... you start looking to other m/women..... If one man has not been up to ur standards, and no man can be, no woman can be bcos that is not possible, tht is not in the nature of things ' thn we start looking to other w/men. And all kinds of perversions are there...then the question of inside or outside of marriage is irrelevant because marriage is just a part of the social system.... there is nothing natural about it...,I think for us, to be really authentic in our sex life sometime people have to go beyond the structure of marriage. then they become inauthentic in two ways. If someone is in a sexual relationship with someone that he or she doesn't love, to me it is immoral. Even if he or she is one's husband or one's wife, if one is not in love thn it is immoral. If love is the base.....😊

When I were in Kolkata a few months back, near ESPLANADE ... I saw a poster for some B/C grade movie titled "YEH BHOOK KAB KHATAM HOGI" (smthing like that) ... that was really intruging. A bunch of men (5 to 7) were reading it very attentively.

The problem today is that most ppl want quick fix solutions to their needs & problems. Otherwise one can always invest ones time & energy in building up a more lasting and satisfying relationship. That shud b preferable to one night stands . But then how many have the patience & time ?

Originally posted by: angie.4u

The problem today is that most ppl want quick fix solutions to their needs & problems. Otherwise one can always invest ones time & energy in building up a more lasting and satisfying relationship. That shud b preferable to one night stands . But then how many have the patience & time ?

Many have. I had!...

Peer pressure exists in every field. How one stands up to it depends on ones core beliefs & principles that again depends on the moral values & self esteem imparted by ones family, elders & society..collectively. Self control is of course important but more & more ppl seem to think that freedom is their birthright & overdo it..Ppl R more aware about their rights but not about their duties.