When Push Comes To Shove - An FF . Chapter 36 posted : page 44 - Page 25

CHAPTER 27 - Sweet my child, I live for thee

"I told you that I would happily take a prison sentence in place of losing my children, but you did not listen. Why did you do this? Abhay is no more, Jaidev has been transferred, now it was only Adarsh in this house. I don't think even he is going to stay here now after hearing what you did to Swadheenta."
Manohar bombarded his wife with accusations as soon as she entered the room.

"He won't. He is going to apply for a transfer."
Suhasini replied without any emotions in her voice

"What? How could you...Suhasini,I somehow survived the death of a child. Now I don't have the strength to survive their abandonment. Adarsh must have started hating us now."
Manohar was broken with despair

"He can never abandon you. He loves you too much. It is me who has broken his trust. It is me whom he cannot forgive."
Suhasini said sitting down on the bed

"We both have broken his trust. Not just him but all our children. But please Suhasini, it is enough now. Stop with your schemings. Otherwise I don't know how long I will be able to stand by your side."
Manohar left the room after saying this.
If he had turned back once, he would have seen his wife crouched in a corner of the bed, covering her ears with her hands. Trying hard to block off the voices which were hitting her like darts, blaming her for ruining her family.


Four days had passed since Adarsh came to Karnataka. He had been so busy that he did not even get the time to have a proper talk with his wife. He was missing her badly. Today he had some time off, so he decided to have a video call with her. He was dying to see her face.
Adarsh could not control his elation when her face appeared on his screen

"So my dear wife , how you doin' ?"
He asked flirtatiously

"I am fine Adarsh, glad you called. I have to discuss something very important with you"
Swadheenta was visibly not in the mood for any romance. She looked dead serious

"What is the matter Swadheenta ? Is everything alright ?"
Adarsh asked with concern

"Something is very wrong with Mom, she has been behaving so aloof nowadays. She has stopped talking to everyone. It is not helping that Dad is also angry with her. She spends most of her time in Abhay's room, sitting beside Amana's empty crib for hours at stretch. Please Adarsh , come back soon, she needs you all."
Swadheenta entreated

"Relax Swadheenta, her reaction is along expected lines. You know how attached she was to Amana. It will take some time for her to get over it. You don't worry, Mom is strong enough to handle herself. You should rather focus on winning the case"
Adarsh tried to calm her down

"It is not that simple Adarsh, it's not only about Amana. I have been noticing this for quite some time now. Even before Simmi left. She starts behaving wierd all of a sudden , and when you confront her about it, she becomes all normal. "
Swadheenta tried to explain

"I think you are overthinking. If she had any such problem , she would have talked to us about it"
Adarsh tried to brush off her fear

"Sometimes people fail to realize that there is a problem with them. Adarsh , Mom is gradually slipping away into a shell. It's as if she is not living, just going through the motions . I am afraid if we don't do anything immediately, it might get too late"
Swadheenta warned

"Ok fine. Let me come back, then we will talk to her, but I still think you are making too much out of a small issue. Bye now, I am feeling very sleepy. Will talk to you tomorrow if I get time. Take good care of yourself"
Adarsh assured her.

When he hit the bed to give some rest to his tired eyes, sleep eluded him. Swadheenta's words kept ringing in his ears. Although he had brushed off her fears , a part of him was worried for his mother. Was he being too tough on her ? He had not called her even once after coming here, neither did she. His father had once called him to enquire about his wellbeing, but he never mentioned anything about Mom. True, he was angry with her but would he overlook the signs that Swadheenta was talking about ?

The next few days were so hectic that he did not have the time to think about anything else. It was his last night there, the next morning he would be on his flight to Delhi. He was excited to go home. Swadheenta had a hearing tomorrow. He had planned to give a surprise to her by meeting her directly at the court , so did not inform her about it. She was really disappointed to know that he would not be able to attend the second hearing of her case as his stay in Karnataka had got extended. He smiled to himself imagining her face brighten up on seeing him. Suddenly the reminder tone of his phone started playing. He picked it up. "Mom's birthday", The screen displayed.

He remembered how the three brothers would start planning Mom's surprise birthday party a month in advance. Suhasini always pretended to be completely oblivious to their plans though nothing escaped her eyes. When they grew up , they understood that Mom just feigned surprise only to see the glow of accomplishment on their faces. Still the arrangement continued as long as Abhay was there. He was the most enthusiastic one. There had been no celebrations in the family in the past one year ever since Abhay passed away. However, they still wished each other on birthdays and anniversaries.

Adarsh held the phone in his hand for some time. Should he call her ? What would he say ? He took out her number from the phonebook. No, she must be asleep. It was better not to disturb her now. He told himself and kept the phone on the table.

Meanwhile at Sinha House,
Swadheenta went to Suhasini's room to wish her. The door was open but she was not there. Manohar had gone to Shimla to visit Jaidev. Swadheenta went to look for her in the balcony. Yes, there she was, standing by the railing and staring at the distance. Swadheenta walked up to her.

"Swadheenta, do you think anything in this world matters more to a mother than her children ?"
Suhasini asked, still looking away

Swadheenta was taken aback. How did she know it was her without turning her head. Maybe because she was the only person left in the house.

Without waiting for an answer Suhasini went on,

"Will you believe me if I say that whatever I did, I always had your best interests in mind? At least what seemed to me the best. I know I have hurt my children often, knowingly or unknowingly, but I never wished any ill on them."

After a long time Swadheenta had heard Suhasini speak so much. The last few days she had to struggle hard to elicit any response for her mother in law. Therefore she decided to keep quiet and allow her to let out whatever was bothering her.

"I am not denying that my highhandedness has brought a lot of problems in your lives. I honestly want to make amends for every wrong that I have done to you all. Give me some time, I am trying my best. I might be devious and manipulative, I might be selfish and arrogant, but I am not a monster, just an imperfect human being."
Swadheenta could feel the desperation in her voice.

"No Mom, you are not at all a bad person. You are the best Mom in law anyone could ever ask for"
Swadheenta assured her.

"Can you tell it to them ?"
Suhasini questioned

"Tell it to whom ?"
Swadheenta asked , suprised

"You can't see them ? Abhay , Adarsh , Jaidev,Jaya, Simmi, they are all blaming me for destroying their lives. How do I tell them that their pain hurts me as much as it does to them?"
Saying this Suhasini turned her face towards her.

There was that same look in her eyes which Swadheenta had seen some days back in her study. Oh no! She realized now, Suhasini had started hallucinating. She was not talking to her, she was talking to the Swadheenta in her head. This was not a healthy sign. Swadheenta held her by her arms and gave her a tight jerk.

"Mom..no one is blaming you"

Suhasini came back to her senses,
"What...what was I saying ?"
She didn't seem to recall anything

"Mom, you need to see someone, I mean a doctor...a..a ..psychiatrist, immediately. This is very serious. You know that. I will have tomorrow's hearing cancelled."
Swadheenta was hesitant to mention a psychiatrist, the word was still sort of a taboo in this country. May be that was the reason Suhasini had not mentioned it to anyone. She was smart enough to understand that something was wrong with her.

"Stop it Swadheenta. Do you think I am going mad ? No hearing will be cancelled. I will see you in the court tomorrow. Good night and all the best, you may leave now, please"
Suhasini pointed towards the door

Swadheenta went out, but she could not brush off what she had just seen. Mom badly needed help though she was reluctant to admit it. She would have to talk to Adarsh about it, first thing in the morning. Swadheenta noticed the small gift wrapped box in her hand. She had forgotten to wish "happy birthday" to Mom. Doesn't matter, she would give a better gift to her tomorrow.

nice update
hope everything will become normal again

👏 liked bond between Swadheenta-suhasini ,hope Adarsh will understand /think about Swadheenta's Lines/tension .
🤗

Thanks for the update dear it was a really nice update will wait for the next update eagerly dear

Originally posted by: .rumki.

nice update
hope everything will become normal again

thank you.
Me too hope so

Originally posted by: Sana_Jannat

👏 liked bond between Swadheenta-simmi ,hope Adarsh will understand /think about Swadheenta's Lines/tension .
🤗

\
Thank you, but Simmi was not there in the chapter.
Adarsh will realise

Originally posted by: chemgirl

Awesome update...so Suhasini is losing her grip on reality...hope Swadarsh can help herr in time and the Sinha family reunites...felt really bad for her though its her own doing...just wish Simmi and Adarsh forgive her...Swadarsh part was nice...wonder what wil happen at the first hearing...waiting for next update... it will be eventful😊

Glad you liked it.
The first hearing will definitely be eventful

Originally posted by: Aimsha

Thanks for the update dear it was a really nice update will wait for the next update eagerly dear

Glad you liked it

CHAPTER 28 - A Desperate Call

The next morning Swadheenta tried calling Adarsh, but his phone was unreachable. She finally gave up and went to get ready for the trial.

As soon as Swadheenta got out of her car in front of the court premises, her eyes spotted Adarsh. He was standing there with a bouquet of flowers in his hand and a charming smile adorning his face. How handsome was her husband looking! He came up to her and handed the bouquet,
"This one is for my lovely wife"

Swadheenta, accepting the bouquet - "Why did you lie to me?"
Her face glowing at this pleasant surprise

Adarsh - "Why, You didn't like the surprise? You know I was dying to see you. This one week felt like one long year"

Swadheenta was also missing him badly. She wanted to run up to him and hold him in a tight embrace but resisted it.
"You are looking so good today"
She said, still smitten like a fangirl

"And you always look good, even in a lawyer's uniform. I just try to look a bit presentable beside you"
Adarsh said and they both laughed.

Suhasini was watching the two from a little distance. They looked so happy and so free, especially Adarsh. After a long time she had seen him so happy. May be he was right. The environment at home was indeed suffocating him. Just then she saw something and her blood ran cold. She shrieked out in horror,

"Adarsh-Swadheenta..duck down"

Adarsh saw the man pointing the gun at them. The moment he fired, Adarsh held Swadheenta tighly and lay down on the ground. The bullet missed them and hit the wall. Suhasini ran up to them and asked,
"Are you alright ?"

She was relieved to find both of them unscathed. Adarsh had stood on his feet and he extended his hand to help his wife get up. Suhasini too tried to help her but Adarsh stopped her.

"Now you people are using such cheap tactics to win ?"
He looked at his mother and said bitterly

Suhasini was too shocked to reply. She could not believe her ears.

"She is your daughter in law for heaven's sake."
Adarsh was mad with rage.

"Adarsh calm down. I am sure Mom has no hand in this"
Swadheenta tried to make him understand.

"Yeah right. She never has any hand in anything, but her clients do. First that Allan Broad, and now the Minister. It was clear that the gunman wanted to finish you. Then they could have easily walked away with the case."
Adarsh went on ranting. The mere thought of losing Swadheenta had riled him up.

Suhasini looked around. A big crowd had gathered around them. The media was also there, waiting to get a byte. She had seen the shooter take his aim. She knew that this time Adarsh was the target, not Swadheenta. However, she did not reply to his accusations. The very thought of losing another son had benumbed her. On top of that his rebukes were making it increasingly difficult for her to hold herself together. But she could not afford to be careless now. She should let the real culprits think that they are out of suspiscion. Therefore she avoided the media and quickly left the place to make a call. Meanwhile the police in the premises had managed to overpower the assailant.

"Are you sure you are fine enough to argue the case today? Else we should get the hearing cancelled."
Adarsh asked his wife.

"Yes, I am perfectly fine. You don't worry. But you should not have shouted at Mom like that. I told you she is not well."
Swadheenta said

"What can I do, everytime I see you in danger, I lose my cool. Anyways, I have to go to the police station to file an FIR. They have taken the shooter in custody. Let me go and see if he has disclosed the identity of the real mastermind. Your hearing will start in an hour. I will try to make it back on time."
Saying this he left.

At the police station he got an important information. The attacker was actually targetting on him. The police asked him to keep the information to himself. He was surprised to know that they had already traced a phone call made on the attacker's phone by the Bawejas. Someone had told the police about his enmity with them.
Just as he was coming out of the police station, he saw Akash.

"I was coming here to meet you only. I had something very urgent to discuss with you. I could not reach you on phone then learnt about the attack. So I guessed you would be here"
Akash said taking out an envelope with a CD.
After Akash played the record to him, Adarsh stood there dumbfounded for some time. Then he asked slowly,
"Has anyone else in the department heard it ?"

"Fortunately no. I was in charge of the recording today. The moment I heard the beginning of the conversation, I sent the others out on some pretext. I felt it was too personal a matter. However I completed the recording because you had asked me."

"Hmm...thanks a lot Akash, but please don't mention about it to anyone"

Adarsh took his leave and got into the car. He started driving towards the high court where the hearing was taking place. All along , the conversation kept replaying inside his head.

Suhasini -" Hello, may I talk to doctor Anjali Khare, psychiatrist"

From the other side - "Yes , speaking. Please tell me how can I help you "

Suhasini, a bit hesitatinly - "Doctor, I am having a strange problem for the past few days"

Doctor - "What kind of a problem ? And for how many days ?"

Suhasini - "For the past one year, ever since my youngest son passed away. At first I was having nightmares , but since last two months I have started having hallucinations. I see faces, hear voices which are not actually there. I have been finding it more and more difficult to cope with the surroundings around me. I think I am even losing the abiltity to feel any emotion. I don't know when I am happy and when I am sad."

Doctor - "Do you in any way hold yourself responsible for his death ?"

Suhasini, after letting out a sigh - "I have made many questionable decisions in my life doctor. I did not know my actions were pushing my own child towards his death"

Doctor - "You are carrying an unnecessary burden Mam. You have to let it go."

Suhasini - "How do I let it go when I see him dying before my eyes every single night, while I can do nothing but watch helplessly? He was my most pampered kid. I was a little annoyed with him for marrying against our wish. It hurt him a lot, but before I could even fully make up for it, he left us. How do I forgive myself for subjecting my daughter in law to widowhood at such a young age?"
Her voice choked towards the end

Doctor - "Relax Mam, you said you did not do it knowingly. So, please stop blaming yourself. You cannot undo what has been done. Have you talked about this problem with your family? They are the ones who can provide the biggest support in such cases. Other than that I would recommend you to come for a session. From whatever you said, you seem to be suffering from a kind of depression and it can take a very serious turn. I can be sure only after having a face to face talk. May I know your name please "

Suhasini - "I am sorry doctor, I cannot let you know my name right now, neither can I come for a counseling session. If anyone comes to know that I am having a psychological issue, it would put a big question mark on my credibility. I cannot afford it right now. My family has always seen me as the pillar which supported it, I cannot reveal in front of them this mess of a person that I have become. I have already created a lot of problems in their lives."

Doctor - "Don't worry, we doctors have the ethical compulsion to maintain professional secrecy. No one will know anything."

Suhasini - "I know that doctor. I just wanted to know if there is any other way you can help me. I have started hating myself. I was never like this, and I don't want to live like this any more. Please help me doctor"

She was literally begging now. The composure that she had maintained till then was completely shattered to reveal a fragile and vulnerable woman who had reached the end of her tether.

The doctor was scared now, she tried to calm her down - "Relax Mam, please don't take any drastic step. Do talk to your family about it. If you want , we can meet somewhere outside."

Suhasini, collecting herself - Don't worry doctor, I won't do anything before I have completed the job at hand. Anyways , thanks for your time"
Saying this she hung up.


Adarsh applied the breaks as the traffic signal turned red.
He had never heard such a desperate cry for help. How could he leave her alone at such a difficult time? She might have made many mistakes but she was still his mother. The whole world could turn its back on her but he could not. He had to help her get out of the hell she had locked herself in.
The signal turned green and he drove towards the court