Story: The search for Abhijeet

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sherdilali

@sherdilali

Rocker

Posted: 9 years ago

#31

Great work di
Bhigda moid thek ho gaya
Thank you
Keep writing

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23Diya

@23Diya

Dazzler

Posted: 9 years ago

#32

Wah! Birthday treat...and that to the DUO that I always miss.

😛

Poor Freddy's 2G problem is so similar to mine. The most annoying thing on earth is slow internet speed.😡

Trekking path and village description is good too.

But the best part is of course duo. Their dialogues and style is so much like our real old duo. Love them.

Thank u so much for the story Di. It was a lovely treat on Adi sir's birthday.👏

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MysticMorning

@MysticMorning

Navigator

Posted: 9 years ago

#33

fantastic di😃😃
sharp shine's intelligence, Duo moments, Freddie's sweet presence... ACP sir's involvement... a purely enjoyable story
lovely Birthday treat for our beloved respected Birthday boy⭐️⭐️

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Rifah

@HIDEnSEEK06

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#34

Loved the story a lot. ❤️

The last Daya's evil smile & Abhijeet's reaction was great😉

Baid ji k pass chor hi ayo Abhijeet ko😆

Do write more👏

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gadhadada

@gadhadada

Achiever

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#35

As per My Excitement and Promise...😳😳

I read it Last Night and really its an Enjoyable Ride...😃👏👏

Initially, VIS DII Attempt after Ages is already giving a Pleasure...😳👏

I started the Story with Completely Relaxed Mind...😃😃

hmmm, First Scene Abhijeet Sir already Injured...😉😉

the whole Portrayal of that Remote Area especially that Mandagadi Gaon is Fantastic...⭐️⭐️⭐️

I Loved the Conversation of Shanker to Abhijeet Sir about Telling Him Heavy Rain, Pandu Revealed Him, His Back Injury, Vaid Jee Treatment, Post Office Phone and No Cell Phones even went to Akola Gaon for Calling is Amazingly giving Picture of that All in front of Reader Eyes...⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Flash Back... is making the Nice Crisp Boundary around the Story Wall...👏👏👏

The Bell Boy reminds Me, Case Of Drunken Killer...😆😆

BTW DII, kya Abhijeet Sir Wo Hotel ki Footage jis mein Kumar and Reena Sath thy, Apnay Laptop ki Screen ya TV Screen pr Dekh rahy thy jo Bell Boy nay Dekh liya...😕😕😕

aur ye OTG Cable kya hy...❓❓

The whole Piece of Information about Reena from Bell Boy was Fabulous...👏👏👏

I Like that Abhijeet Sir taking Evidence in a bit from Him...👏👏👏

Somehow that Idea that His Phone giving Him Troubles and Still He is with it even from 2 Months was Not Convincing to Me DII...

I am Extremely Sorry, He belonged to an Organization where these Devices must be Correct...

I Like, if the Phone Corrupted or having Virus during that Return ride to Mumbai... 😃😃😃

Khair, its My Personal Opinion...😊😊😊

then Attack over Abhijeet Sir Presented Nicely especially giving that Cats and Dogs Rain Idea which Chilling the Burning Car to Safe Abhijeet Sir...👏

The Nagpur Signal... hmmm Mystery again Sustained...😲👏👏

I Like that Immediate Order to Search Abhijeet Sir through Visit to Goa...👏👏

Like the Two Old Fellows Selected for this Mission...😳😳

The Bell Boy Murder was another Great Idea...👏👏👏

I really Like that Manager ask Him about His Conversation to the Customer such Long time...👏

These Small Small Things really a lesson to Us...👏

I m little Confused that why not Daya Sir checking Footage of that Hotel or atleast tried to Check any Calls Abhijeet Sir had done from Reception or Room Service after Talk to Him or before Talk to Him...😕😕😕

He even not said Inspector Gaurav to Keep Check over Manager even He Spotted Him little Suspicious...😒

The whole NH52/53 Survey Presenting very Neatly that the Person Living Outside India Easily Getting the Routes...⭐️⭐️⭐️

I find this Completely Lack in My Stories...😭😭😭

Then the Ride on that Road especially that Discussion regarding the KM/Speed etc...⭐️⭐️⭐️

Outstanding Work there...⭐️

then Abhijeet Sir again Attempt of Walking, Falling and then giving His Message to Shanker who through Balwant Called to Daya Sir or ACP Sir...⭐️⭐️⭐️

Absolutely Wonderful or say Attentive Thought used by Writer There...⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Dhaba Visit and that Plain Pav and Adrak Tea...😛👏👏

OML! its called Passion or say Perfection...⭐️

Awesomely Amazing Idea...⭐️

The call with Complete, Crisp Message especially in a Way which Not Revealed More or make a Difficult Puzzle for His Team is really Wonderful Job...⭐️

I really find it such Beautiful that Ill have No Words for Praising it Moore...⭐️

The whole Visit to Mandanga Gaon through Trekking is really Excellent...👏

Feeling the Difficulties through those Simple Description even Daya Sir Scanning the Vehicle and Revealing what would happen is Greatly Presented...⭐️

The Conversation, Small Doubt over Shanker, Denying by Abhijeet Sir and All Neatly Done...👏👏👏

I like the way Abhijeet Sir Telling the News of 21 July then Tell about His Cell and after getting its in Nagpur,, told this to get from Bell Boy and then Explains all finding about Bell Boy Death News is Extremely Well Narrated...👏

Daya Sir moved to Akola and then Call ACP Sir is Good Idea...👏👏

The Back to Mumbai, hmmm, Liike that Balwant Bike Ride and Abhijeet Sir Tourist Taxi Indica Visit...😉😉👏

wesy kya Daya Sir nay Abhijeet Sir ko Peeth pr Uthaya hoga during Trekking...😉😆😆

Nice way back to Mumbai and then Invaded Abhijeet Sir inside Hospital...😊👏

I Loved Small Threats of Both to each one gives a Cute Flair in Story...😳👏👏

Interrogating Jaikishan and His Denying, ACP Siir Thought about Releasing Him, Daya Sir Threat about Video and then that Nagpur Idea...👏👏

Liked Daya Sir Idea to now got that Manager and Call to Gaurav who told that Sad News of Manager Escape...👏👏

Abhijeet Sir DB Back Up...👏

Ohhh, Tussi Great ho Boss...⭐️

Absolute Fantastic Idea...⭐️⭐️⭐️

Like Daya Sir giving His Cell Immediately and They got the Video in Back Up...⭐️⭐️👏

BTW, I Loved to Read that Small Scene where Abhijeet Sir send that Vdo in Daya Sir Watsapp but it comes as Retry is really Strong Idea DII...⭐️

Nice Idea to Enhance the Voice through Studio...👏

Cameraman Khatam is another Spark of Suspense...⭐️

I really Like or say I m totally Mesmerized when it Reveal Out as its Totally Out Of Box thing for Me...⭐️

Liked the End in Correct Time...👏

Epilogues giving the Point of Waiting for Another Blaster...👏

I m really Sorry DII for My Small Critical Point, so Apology for that...😊😊

But really after Long, its Kindly such Refreshing Story which Open Up Our Mind and gives Us a Creative Healthy Breeze...⭐️

Absolutely Wonderful, Fantastic, Brilliant Piece of Writing...⭐️⭐️⭐️

Coming with Sequel of it as MANAGER ABHI BAAQI HY BOSS...😈😎

a Big Thank You so much for Entertaining Us with such Great Attempt...⭐️

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visrom

@visrom

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#36

Waah GD 🤗 I am overwhelmed...😆

I am glad you liked it. Honestly I was inspired by that idea from the time I saw that story contest for Adi sir bday and I really couldn't fit it into the theme but I decided that I should write this! 😆 I knew exactly how I was going to take the story from day 1. Bohot dino baad idea itna clearly dikhayi diya mujhe. 😳 Plus I had taken 2 days off for some personal reasons so I had time to think and write. 😃 THis is one story I enjoyed writing and had no confusion or writers block. 😳

Coming to this...

Somehow that Idea that His Phone giving Him Troubles and Still He is with it even from 2 Months was Not Convincing to Me DII...

I am Extremely Sorry, He belonged to an Organization where these Devices must be Correct...

Sorry, but did I mention 2 months? I just said kuch dino...just few days. I am not sure if I wrote it by mistake. Let me check. I never meant 2 months.

Edit: I checked...I wrote it's a 2 year old phone. That's all...it was 2 years old, he had trouble since a few days,max a week...he didn't get time to buy a new phone. That's acceptable, isn't it?

Coming to video...yes, he was watching on his phone which had big screen and this bell boy who was already aware that the lady in the video has a big secret. Come on GD, he was sitting on the sofa and waiting for bell boy. The bell boy waited for a few seconds behind him and noticed the video. 😛

OTG cable is the one where you can copy contents of phone into a pen drive. Abhijeet copied the video to a pen drive where some other footages were available...to have everything in one pace but even that pen drive was lost with the phone. I forgot to mention it later. 😳

The whole NH52/53 Survey Presenting very Neatly that the Person Living Outside India Easily Getting the Routes...⭐️⭐️⭐️

Even I used Google Maps, GD. Mujhe bhi nahi pata.😆

Edited by visrom - 9 years ago

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gadhadada

@gadhadada

Achiever

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#37

Originally posted by: visrom
Waah GD 🤗 I am overwhelmed...😆

awww...😳😳

I am glad you liked it. Honestly I was inspired by that idea from the time I saw that story contest for Adi sir bday and I really couldn't fit it into the theme but I decided that I should write this! 😆 I knew exactly how I was going to take the story from day 1. Bohot dino baad idea itna clearly dikhayi diya mujhe. 😳 Plus I had taken 2 days off for some personal reasons so I had time to think and write. 😃 THis is one story I enjoyed writing and had no confusion or writers block. 😳

it showed in Flow of Story...😃😃

Coming to this...

Somehow that Idea that His Phone giving Him Troubles and Still He is with it even from 2 Months was Not Convincing to Me DII...

I am Extremely Sorry, He belonged to an Organization where these Devices must be Correct...

Sorry, but did I mention 2 months? I just said kuch dino...just few days. I am not sure if I wrote it by mistake. Let me check. I never meant 2 months.

Edit: I checked...I wrote it's a 2 year old phone. That's all...it was 2 years old, he had trouble since a few days,max a week...he didn't get time to buy a new phone. That's acceptable, isn't it?

Ohh, I read it in My Cell Screen so might be Missing😆😆... But Daya Sir knew about it means its creating Problem before going Goa, so He must arranged any Cell na although He Borrowed Daya Sir Cell Set...😊

Coming to video...yes, he was watching on his phone which had big screen and this bell boy who was already aware that the lady in the video has a big secret. Come on GD, he was sitting on the sofa and waiting for bell boy. The bell boy waited for a few seconds behind him and noticed the video. 😛

Nahi darasal DII, Mujhy OTG Cable Samjh Nahi aaya, I though its a Same Data Cable so I was asked kay Shayed wo Lappy ya TV Screen ppr Dekh rahy hun...😊
I m so Sorry about My Query...

OTG cable is the one where you can copy contents of phone into a pen drive. Abhijeet copied the video to a pen drive where some other footages were available...to have everything in one pace but even that pen drive was lost with the phone. I forgot to mention it later. 😳

Ohhh, its OK, cz when any Reader reads that His Cell Stole automatically got that His Pen Drive also Missed with it...😊😊

The whole NH52/53 Survey Presenting very Neatly that the Person Living Outside India Easily Getting the Routes...⭐️⭐️⭐️

Even I used Google Maps, GD. Mujhe bhi nahi pata.😆

😆😆

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Suhaani/Drilabh (CID/MJHT)

@Drilabh_Suhaani

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#38

Hi viz!
Reading it today intermittently while at work lol!
So the story as usual started with abhi! Your shuddha hindi is quite good, the dialects the villagers use is quite natural.
The rural problems of connectivity issues are bang on!
Abhi's reaction on seeing baidji os priceless! Can literally see it!
Viz your stories make me 'see', a mark of a great writer!
Hm the bellboy is stupid to not to have gone to police at once. Why tell the manager at all! Manager is definitely involved.
A suspect cannot be kept in custody after 24 hours without proof. So 24 hours having passed by, thankgod chitrole made them release kumar otherwise things would have gone awry for praddy!
Wow acp and daya are so experienced to realise that something is fishy. Thank goodness they didnt rush to nagpur at once.
Ok now insp gaurav tells abt bellboy. What would make daya feel something is wrong here?
Am sure manager killed. Obvious.
Touches of kd pathak style investigation lol!
O btw freddy in ure stories is always wt either of duo- u r so fond of that dear chap!
Gaurav is too keen to know case details... Daya telling him nearly everything? Cops are usually discreet and reserved on info... Kya pata gaurav hi gadbad hai!
Very very apt- freddy is right, too coincidental of phone getting switched of at that very very coincidental!
I like how daya freddy go on foot (or rather in car) to see in details where abhi's last position was pinpointed. "Between two tolls" is quite a good idea but of huge distance. Poora din lagega!
Wow viz u have researched so well on names, routes, highways etc!
O 100km! Great viz u have left no loophole! Ure stories have realistic touches!
Back to abhi. A bit more background story to how the case came to cid and how/why mumbai cid insp has to go to goa at all could have sufficed. Why not just take help of goa cops, whether in mumbai or goa, goa cops could have been involved...
How did his phone go missing? The car was damaged right? When the villagers got him out, did they not see if he had any identity papers etc? O why wasnt the local police or forest officials informed?
If mumbai-goa road is damaged, how come daya-freddy came to goa? Another route?
How coincidental of them to find the dhaba. Would have been less coincidental if they searched for any stops like dhaba as well...
O now daya feels that it is likely abhi may have stopped here... Wow viz u ans my ques in the next sentence lol. But it would have been more natural if the dhaba wasnt the same dhaba but the idea would have stuck.
Wow u used that aloo-allergy reference! Ure favourite!
O the only other customer in that dhaba was following abhi... Hm
Btw ek sawaal achanak aaya dimag mein- when abhi came to know that the manager shut the bellboy up, why didnt he suspect and investigate spot on, or inform acp and daya?
Haha that whatsapp retry sending video is so so apt for all of us!
2g? Very realistic!
Cops in your stories are normal human beings and u still have that golden era touch!
So normal to search for a location for hours and then to trek... They have to do it... All part of being cops in such situations... By the way how is acp being updated every hour? Or is he?
Nice image! That very place or somewhere else?
Was the forest officer having the area cleared?
So when abhi's phone stolen, was abhi there injured and unconscious? Didnt the person check abhi's pulse, as it was raining and the car flames died down quickly?
Didnt the suitcase get damaged? The car bonnet could be opened easily?

Hi again. Now reading 4th part. Was under the weather so couldnt finish.
So... Finally duo and freddy together.

Btw had a train of thoughts while reading the other parts so may not remember my questions fully.

Quite difficult to trek in monsoon with no gear.

When the boy called daya he supposed to pass abhi's mesg abt 21st july. So why did daya sound surprised? Why didnt the boy pass this mesg as well?

Who took the phone? Why were nagpur police not asked to trace it to the thief?

Loved the duo bantering! Lolz
Trekking wt abhi already still healing. Very difficult yaar! Anyway yeh ek kahani hain! Aur sab kuch mumkin hote hain!
Wifi and dropbox backup is a marvellous idea!
Btw the bellboy was stupid to have told the manager abt telling abhi...
Camera man and uncle sam idea... Hmmm wow vizz nice idea... But then camera man as chief minister... Innovative but coincidental! Has to have some logic as to how abhi reached that conclusion... Or was he informed abt the guest lists?
O so the audio engineer followed abhi and left the phone in nagpur?
Kumar is innocent then?
Btw how was reena's phone wt cid mumbai when she was murdered in goa?
Cant goa police hunt for manager? Why does duo have to go to goa?
Haha loved abhi's expression! Can imagine daya's evil face too!

Overall, a fabulous viz style story! Please dont mind my too many questions!! I loved it and it kept my attention till the last word!

Keep writing!

Ps- why did daya automatically suspect the audio engineer? Could have been anybody! Audio engineer being there was coincidental!

Edited by suhani.cipamisa - 9 years ago