mY dEfleCtiVE ShaDe GamE oVEr!!!

gadhadada thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Achiever Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 14 years ago
#1


Awweee…. Ahahaha…. and just after open eyes….. weired voices and lines comes from the mouth…

ABHIJEET: ainnnn…… arry ye kya hay???

He saw himself lays on dirty floor…. get up instantly….. a very dark place with dirty smell around…. Saw a mirror wall around him…. very dim light…. a door was also there…. He rushed to the door but door was locked… he heard an unusual strong sound….

FREDDIE: arry baap ray …. mujhy yahan kaun laya… aatmaa ya bhoot???

He saw himself at a cushion…. Floor was quite clean…. Light was very low… Door was there but again locked…. He also heard a different sound….

SACHIN: hain… ye kya hay???

He himself lying on a bed spread…. Floor was of marbled flourishing…. Light showed its gloomy flash…. Here door was also locked…. Checked it by the guy…. Suddenly heard a difficult type of sound….

KAJAL: ye kaun sii jagah hay???

Sat on a beautiful sofa… room was so decorated but locked…. Light turned off and on… she felt scare… call out everyone… at once heard a voice….

VIVEK: main yahan kesay aaya???

Unusually room was completely of cemented wall and very high roof…. No light except the spot with the scary touch…. Nothing usual items present except an unexpected thing… door was not seen here… he also heard a shouted voice…

DAYA: boss!!!!

He got up…. Floor was tacky… contained some casual insects… door was locked and made up of strong iron… saw a big cloth…. Flash of light in few seconds and then again dark… He watched that cloth but deviated his attention when heard that grumpy voice….

All after few seconds came on static to active state of mind and body…. They all heard the same announcement….

Good Morning Officers… yaqeenun tum log hairaan ho rahy hogay…. Kay yahan kesay aa gayey… wo FREDRICS to bechara aatma waatma tak ja pohancha hoga….. tou OFFICERS main tum logun ko ye achi tarah bata dun… ye koi aatma nahi… balkay ek insaan ki aqal aur zahanut hay… aur aaj wo apni aqal aur CID ki zahat dono ka imtihaan leena chahta hay…. bari purani tammanna thi…. Wesay tumharay ACP ko tum logun per maan hay na… usay bhi tou khatam karna hay….. khair…. zyada waqt zaya nahi kartay hain …… tou CID team…. Ye ek GAME hay…. arry pareshan na ho…. GAME byhad aasan hay… bus tum sub ki thori sii hoshyaari tum ko is game kay OVER n OUT honay say pehlay yahan say nikalwa sakti hay… Chalo zyada waqt nahi barbaad kartay aur RULES batatay hain…

1. GAME ka overall time 60 minutes hay….Tum saaray officers aik doosray ki jaan bachao gay… tumhari aik ghalati… tumharay apny hee officer ki jaan lay sakti hay….

2. Pehla player Ins FREDDRICS…. doosri KAJAL…. Teesra SACHIN…. 4th one VIVEK…. 5th Sr. Ins ABHIJEET aur last player Ins DAYA hoga…

3. Her player kay pass 10 minutes ka time hay…. time khatam honay per tum sub ko TIMES UP ki BEEP sunaii day gi… jis say sub ko pata chal jayeyga kay doorsay khilari ka TIME khatam ho gaya hay aur khilari ka chance automatically khatam ho jayey ga….

4. Agar 10 minutes mein kisi officer nay turn nahi liya tou wo chance khud ba khud khtam ho jayeyga aur wo player eliminate ho jayeyga…. aur hamesha kay liyey is chamber mein band…..

5. GREEN means LIFE… aur RED means END….

ABHIJEET(in anger): ye kya bakwaas hay??? kaun ho tum???

SOUND: INVENTER…. Is GAME ka…. Arry ABHIJEET main tou bus apna GAME test karna chahta hun…. Jitna bolo gay… waqt zaya hee hoga…. Haan tou…. ab hum GAME start kartay hain…

Ins FREDDRICS tayyar ho jao….

DAYA: magar GAME hay kahan???

SOUND: arry DAYA…. mil jayeyga GAME bhi… achi tarah her cheez per nazar rakkho….

Tum sub ko chabi dhoondni hay apnay chamber ki…. Bus…. aur lock khool ker bahar aa jana hay…. itna sa GAME hay… aur tum sub ki halat itni buri kyun ho rahii hay!!!….

Chalo… No more questions…. Good luck officers…

1 2 3 lets start!!!

At Bearue

ACP after a hectic and long flight came from LONDON yesterday night at MUMBAI… he reached at bearue at 09:15 AM…. He did not find any of the team members… he saw the watch… its quite unusual cz FREDDIE or VIVEK were almost on the time…. While DAYA n ABHIJEET came after 09:30 AM… he called to ABHIJEET, DAYA FREDDIE, VIVEK, SACHIN, KAJAL every ones phone numbers one by one but all the numbers were powered off…. Suddenly TAREEKA came and gave the case report to ACP… she asked about every one…. ACP said…

ACP: tou tumhein bhi nahi malum kay sub kahan hain???

TAREEKA: kya matlab Sir…

ACP: TAREEKA tumhari ABHIJEET say kub baat hui thi???

TAREEKA: Sir kal dophair ko….

ACP(in xtreme worries): shayed…. Sub ko kisi nay…..

He stopped himself to complete the line… his mind started working very fast… he called to mobile company for tracking of the mobile numbers… they gave the locations….

At 09:30 AM….

Nobody knows about the kind of the GAME played by their colleagues…. FREDDIE saw a big machine… he did not know…. What to do…. He asked with the team in high volume… but nobody replied cz the chamber was now turned to soundproof… its hard time for FREDDIE…. he chose first by the GAME INVENTER…. Wat to do??? Wat not to do…. Lots more queries….. time goes fast….

At 09:32 AM

He came near the machine… saw it… his hand was shivering…. There was a coin placed upon the machine…

FREDDIE(himself): ayey bhagwaan… laaj rakh lay… pata nahi kis game mein phanse gaya hun….

FREDDIE took the coin and dumped it into the machine……. A wine bottle was coming out from the last chamber of the machine….

FREDDIE(happy): arry wah…. Ye tou koi acha mujrim hay…. buhat piyass lagi hay….

He tried to open the bottle first by his hand and then by his teeth… while in opening some wine spilled on the floor…. and flowed outside the chamber from the door space…. FREDDIE sipped the rest of the bottle and again sat on the cushion with relaxing mood… his eyes shutter down…… he heard TIMES UP beep before going to sound sleep….

The sound source changes its shape into smile…. RED light on… FREDDIE lost his chance …..

AT 09: 41 AM…

KAJAL saw the room… every decore piece… no game or any kind of that thing present which was played by her…. She picked different items and checked it thoroughly and in hurry as well… she saw a match box… grabbed it with confusion….

KAJAL(with herself): ye matchis… dimagh tou nahi kharab hay is aadmi ka??? Ye koi sajanay ki cheez hay!!!

suddenly the light turned off… she unhesitately lit up the match stick and searched for something to light up… she found the candle… lit it up… heard a click sound… candle dropped from her hand and rolled towards the door… she hurriedly moved there… bowed down… lit the candle again… her finger felt some water on floor… she tried to watch that water by the help of light… TIME UP beep and blows at the same minute…..

The smile source changes its face into laugh…. RED light again on… she lost her chance too …..

AT 09: 50 AM…

Now its SACHIN turn… lights on…. he saw some sharp marble pieces arranged as a stack at the corner of the chamber… he saw them… nothing found…

SACHIN(in anger): kaun ho tum??? Kya drama hay ye???

he hits the bed spread in anger… many marbles balls moving out inside the bed spread in high speed… SACHIN foot rolled over them… he slipped and fell down… his head touched that sharp marble stack with xtreme force and before going complete darkness…. He heard the TIME UP beep….

The laugh source changes its texture into exaggerated laugh…. RED light again on… SACHIN also lost his chance …..

ACP, SALUNKHY and TAREEKA all are stunned…. Even DCP also shattered…. Except ACP… everyone was missing…. No clues…. No backups…. No issues… No demands… No ransom…. Even No contact either through any means and by anyone…. Complete disaster for the whole department…. The CID department hide the news from media and public both… but!!!

Every team member was missing from his/her own place… no hustle bustle…. No signs of pushups… every personnel's of every member was present in their place….

WHO… WHY…. WHERE … WHAT…. WHOME … and HOW!!!! All five "W's" and one "H" filled in every tinge of air…..

DCP: ACP ye ho kya raha hay??? kya karna hay??? socho!!! Aur jaldi kuch karo… samjahy… main HIGHER AUTHORITIES ka pressure aur nahi jhail sakta… media alug shak mein par gaya hay… aur logun ka… logun ka hum kya karein gay… kub tak rokein gay….

ACP: Sir… aap bataein… main kya karun??? Kahan say lay ker aaon??? Koi suragh!!! Koi fone!! Kuch tou milay….

DCP: main kuch nahi jaanta… mujahy ooper walun ko jawab dena hay… I want result…. Samjhy….

He moved after creating xtra tension…. TAREEKA was weeping… SALUNKHY came near and consoled ACP…

ACP: SALUNKHY…. Main nay zindagi mein kabhi khud ko itna akela nahi samjha… NAKUL kay jaanay kay baad bhi nahi… jitna ab lug raha hay…. yaar main kya karun… kahan say apnay shair jawan sipahiyun ko ly ker aaon…. Kahan sy!!!

SALUNKHY sat beside him… ACP was sad and gloomy… SALUNKHY saw tears on his eyes… he tried to leave but!!! SALUNKHY grabbed his hand and relaxed him….

AT 10:00

VIVEK checked his all chamber on big SPOT light flash…. The unexpected thing in his chamber was the DAGGER…. Big and sharp… he took it but what to do with that… he thoroughly checked the DAGGER… the whole chamber was made up of cement…. So DAGGER…

VIVEK: is say kya karna hay…. chalo ye ker kay dekhta hun… marna tou hay… aisay ya wesay!!!

He was scratching floor… the cemented wall… with DAGGER…. He tried his best…. Suddenly…. He heard the sound of something fell on the floor… but at that moment the spot light totally vanished… he madly searching that thing… but TIME UP beep roasted all his hope…..

The exaggerated laugh bit lose up…. RED light on… VIVEK lost the chance but not completely coz he did not made a mistake…..

ACP and the whole CID department tried every way out…. Checked the list of suspects according to their own intentions…. Thoroughly checked all members call… sms… any new issue… any new entry… personal… professional at every level…. But the result was same…. ACP just wanted to shoot himself coz lots of pressure was not accepted by his mind….. SALUNKHY always there to bit boost his hope although he himself felt drowsy….

AT 10:10

ABHIJEET chamber light was at its high range of flash…. He calmed his mind… and made him more sufficient and active…. He knew very well… the culprit was not only intelligent or attentive… he was master mind of his work…. He thoroughly checked his chamber…. In wall… lots of KEYS…. Stacked with the glue…. He saw the door… and took out as more keys from the wall as his palm contained at one time….

ABHIJEET(himself): sub ko check karna hay… main nahi marun ga… tum nay mujhay kya samajh rakkha hay!!! CID koi choti cheez nahi hay….

Suddenly he looked at the roof corner and smile…. The exaggerated laugh source step down his intentions into laugh….

ABHIJEET tried every key… but… his mind calculated the timings… he stood up straight….. and said

ABHIJEET: hoga tou kuch yahein kahein…. Ye mirror wall…. Kuch tou isi mein hay… warna mirror lagany ka maqsad…. (looked at the same point) apna ya mera munh tou dekhna nahi hoga…. Hain na!!!

The laugh source low down his expressions into smile….

He keenly saw the mirror…. And after few seconds… his mind strikes….. and a HURRAH sound came from his throat…

ABHIJEET: yes… yes… ab batata hun tujhay… buhat siyana banta hay na…. ruk….

He took out those keys which reflection came on mirror at the different directions from the rest… its 5 in numbers…. He used every key… but again failed…. Just 2 minutes left…. The smile source turned high his volume into laugh…. Suddenly ABHIJEET looked up again… and then his eyes focused on the mirror wall for few seconds… he changed the door lock direction according to the mirror…. He putted the keys into the lock again… CLICK voice and TIME UP beep both signal their alarm at the same moment…..

The laugh source changes views into smile again…. GREEN light on…. Win the chance….

The CID bearue was filled with the people and media…. Local POLICE came out and tried hard to cope out from that dusty situation…. They tried to tackle with the public and media but obviously they did not successes in their try…. ACP was totally cut out himself from the scenario…. His SENIOR's scolds him… create issues…. Point out his and his team past wrongs and carelessness…. But ACP…. He just lay down his head on his palms and kept his lips and his mind sealed….

AT 10:20

DAYA heard the BEEP and instantly moving around his chamber…. He grabbed that big cloth…. After the light totally showed its flash… he saw a big black polythene BAG…. He hurriedly moved there… opened it and putted in his hand inside the bag… he felt a weird feeling… putted out his hand… lots of blood and mass stacked on his hand….

DAYA: oh my GOD…. Ye sub kya hay??? kaun hay ye PAGAL….

He felt GOOSE BUMPS… he placed the big cloth and in hurry putted the bag upside down on that cloth…. His eyes and hands was bit shivered…. He tried to calm… but it really difficult for him… lots of HEADS found on that bag… some were of ANIMALS… some DOLLS and some HUMANS…. Blood and mass smells really turned his feeling into vomiting….….

DAYA(after few sec): ye insaan hay ya janwar…. Teri bhi garden isi tarah alug ker dunga…. Samjha…

The smile source rapidly moved into peaks of laugh….

DAYA calculated the time and just took out his shirt…. Tied it on his mouth… only his eyes now working with the speed of his hand…. First he looked all the head collectively…. Then took one by one and checked it thoroughly…. His hands became sticky…. At every minute he cleaned it with the cloth and with his tee shirt which he wore inside of his shirt… he felt very bad….. he did not talk either for himself… cz he knew… if he opened his mouth… everything came out…. His hand moved very very fast…. He deviated his mind to the rest of the team just to shuffle his bad condition of mind towards anything else…. Suddenly he found a KEY from the mouth of a HUMAN head…. He rushed at the door…. CLICK it and moved outside…. He wanted fresh air…. But quite impossible… his ear heard TIME UP beep… suddenly he felt he was in anyone arms… he easily recognized the touch and lose his body for a minute inside those arms….

The laugh at high peaks source hurriedly shattered into bits of smile……. GREEN on…. Chance taken successful….

ABHIJEET: DAYA… DAYA…. tum theek hona!!! Kya hua???

ABHIJEET untied the shirt from his mouth… DAYA body was so cold and shivered…. DAYA sat on floor and tried to manage his sinus…. After 2/3 minutes…

DAYA: boss!!! baqi sub kahan hain???

ABHIJEET: DAYA abhi tou mujhay koi nahi mila….(harsh) Pata nahi kya pagalpan hay…

ABHIJEET in anger hit the front wall…. Suddenly he heard the sound… a scream callout of his name… DUO's looked each other…

DAYA(stood up): ye tou VIVEK ki aawaz hay?? VIVEK kahan ho tum???

ABHIJEET placed his ear at the front wall and tried to listen anything…. At once he raise…

ABHIJEET: DAYA…. yahan … yahan say aawaz aa rahi hay…. VIVEK tumharay pass CHABI hay???

VIVEK(loud): jee Sir….

DAYA: tou neechay say bahar daalo… (looked towards ABHIJEET) neechay tou koi jagah hee nahi hay… (again asked) VIVEK koi darwaza nazar aa raha hay tum ko???

VIVEK: nahi Sir…

ABHIJEET: oh my GOD…. (he calmed himself) VIVEK pareshan mut ho… hum kuch kartay hain…. DAYA ab kya hoga???....

Both tried to do anything…. But WHAT…. DAYA heard some voice like COINS… he saw ABHIJEET and said…

DAYA: boss ye aawaaz… tumharay pass say aa rahi hay???

ABHIJEET checked his pockets and found those 4 KEYS he picked out from the wall and unintentionally took it on his coat pocket…. He took out all…. They thoroughly checked VIVEK chamber to find the lock…

ABHIJEET: DAYA lock yahein hoga…. CHABI hay tou lock bhi hona chahyey… dekho kahein chupa hua hoga….

DAYA moved his palm on the wall… and suddenly found a small HOLE… both tried all 4 keys and from one the door was opened… VIVEK came out… hugged both of them… he has lots of tears…. ABHIJEET pat on his shoulder… they called the names of their team members…. And spread on different directions… VIVEK heard a weeping sound…

VIVEK: Sir yahan say kisi kay roonay ki aawaz aa rahi hay???

ABHIJEET: FREDDIE hoga…. Aawaz do usay!!!

VIVEK: Sir kisi larki ki aawaz hay!!! tou kya kAJAL???

He called the name…. KAJAL instantly moved at door side… replied in xtreme cry….

DAYA: KAJAL ro nahi…. Hum aatay hain… daro nahi aur darwazay say peechay hut jao….

All three keys checked on the lock… heard CLICK voice… KAJAL came out in bad condition… her cloth and face was burnt…. ABHIJEET took out his coat and wore it to KAJAL…. She still cried…. ABHIJEET consoled her too… DUO's saw on each one eyes and exhaled….

They again searching… but heard no voice or sound on their call out as well… now where is SACHIN and FREDDIE…. suddenly DAYA smelt a wine aroma… he called everyone on that point…. They all moved with the traces of the wine drops and found a main source from where the wine initiated to spill off… ABHIJEET as usual tried both the keys and once worked on the correct order… they entered… saw FREDDIE sound sleep at cushion… the wine bottle was broken down and the floor contained wine as well broken bottle pieces… the key was shinning at the floor as well…. VIVEK tried to wake up FREDDIE but FREDDIE was not on his senses… VIVEK grabbed him and take out him… all moved to search the last member of the team….

They all coming out and call out SACHIN…. ABHIJEET stopped at a place… he saw two marble balls… at the corner of a wall… he pushed the wall and found that there must be a door… he instantly called all one and used the last key…. CLICK and all moved inside… both saw injured SACHIN in unconscious state… DAYA moved fast but he unbalanced… ABHIJEET grabbed DAYA's hand… coz marble balls spread every place and marble floor also gave the slippery texture…. DAYA tried to back SACHIN on conscious state but due to blood loss… he failed… he took out his shirt again which he had worn after exit from his chamber…. He tied it on SACHIN head and then grabbed him on his shoulder even he also not felt good…. He turned his tee shirt as well because of blood signs….

They tried to come out from the building… the whole building had a horrible look… the chambers were situated in the long corridor…. the whole place was so terrible… swampy… very unusual bad smell filled in the air…. Floor was slippery and tacky…. Light was so dim…. Dark touch was always found everywhere…. they were searching the place for the exit point… suddenly KAJAL said….

KAJAL: Sir ye aawaz kesi aa rahi hay???

All shifts their ears on that sound and suddenly ABHIJEET….

ABHIJEET: bahar niklo… jaldi…. Bhagoo….. BOMB….. fast….

All moved fast as they can… they found the exit but it was so small… only by crawling from the space they go out…. DAYA first out KAJAL from the space… KAJAL crawled fast… she got dust and cuts due to very small place…. After that ABHIJEET moved VIVEK… after that VIVEK grabbed FREDDIE with KAJAL outside and by the help of DUO's from inside…. Then SACHIN…. and at last DUO's took their step… suddenly DAYA watched some shine… he signaled ABHIEET and checked that SHINE… it's a simple CD… he took it and then both moved fast and after their exit…. Heard a BOOM…. Fire…. Smoke… KAJAL scream…. Running… sweating… tears… coughing…. Everything mingled the scene dirty…. After few minutes… when the smoke wiped… they saw some people around them…. ABHIJEET talked to them….

ABHIJEET: ye kaun sii jagah hay??? hum log POLICE walay hain…. yahan aik mujrim ko pakarnay aayey thy???

PEOPLE: #####%%%%%&&&&&…

ABHIEET looked unusual… DAYA came out forward… talked to the people in some other language… moved back….

DAYA: boss…. TAMIL bol rahay hain ye log…. Jagah ka naam… ROTTAN hay…. LONAVALA ka district parta hay… MUMBAI yahan say kum az kum 100 KM door hay…. in kay GAON chaltay hain…. wahan say ACP Sir ko phone kartay hain… STD hay yahan…..

All moved with the PEOPLE… DAYA talked with them…. After half an hour… they entered in the small town…. STD both was there… ABHIJEET called at ACP number….

ABHIJEET: Sir…. hum log…

ACP(voice with tears): tum log…. Kahan ho??? Theek tou ho???

ABHIJEET: Sir hum theek hain…. ROTTAN gaon mein hain… aap foran yahan AMBULANCE bhijwayein…

ACP: main aata hun….

ABHIJEET hanged the call… he did not have COINS so the villager gave him coin for call…. They gave local treatment to KAJAL and SACHIN… while ABHIJEET splashed the water bucket upon FREDDIE which opened FREDDIE eyes…. VIVEK talked with him…. while DAYA totally out of the scene… ABHIJEET saw him and moved towards his side….

ABHIJEET: DAYA…. Sir aa rahay hain…..

DAYA just hugged him… he was quiet and not feeling good… at regular intervals he remembered those weird things…. He really wanted to smash the culprit…. ABHIJEET did not know about his experience but easily understand that something very bad happened to DAYA…. that's why his mind and body still not came in normal state…. He just relaxed him…. and tried to fade the traces of that bad experience….

After almost an hour… ACP came on HELICOPTER…. He landed the HELICOPTER on emergency basis…. He felt himself again fresh and young with happiness seeing his brave soldiers backed…. He rushed with the team coz all of them looked bad…. All team of CID really gave their THANKS and good will to the villagers….

On reaching MUMBAI… ABHIJEET told the whole incident and his own experience to ACP…. VIVEK and KAJAL also told him about their experiences…. SACHIN was still unconscious… while FREDDIE was not so unhappy coz his experience was not as bad according to himself… DAYA shattered… ACP asked to ABHIJEET about him but ABHIJEET signaled him not to inoculate him at that moment…. When they reached MUMBAI…. Everyone went to their places… except KAJAL and SACHIN who went to the hospital immediately….. ABHIJEET took DAYA with him on his house…. They urgently opened the CD player and PLAY that CD…. A BLACK screen with SOUND presented in front of their eyes….

SOUND: Hahaha…. Haan tou ABHIJEET aur DAYA…. main zaheen logun ki qadar karta hun… ACP ko saheh maan hay tum dono per…. Magar baqi per…. Dekho GAME kitna seedha tha… magar tumharay saathi…. Ek CHABI nahi dhoond payey…. Halankay wo un kay pass hee thi…. Chalo main dikhata hun…. The CLIPS of every member played one by one….

FREDDIE ki wine bottle kay ander….. magar usay apny jazbaat per qabu hota tab wo gour karta na… hahah

KAJAL ki match box kay ander…. Magar us nay dekha hee nahi… andheray say darr gayiii…. Ek CID officer…. Hahaha

SACHIN kay bed spread kay neechay…. Magar gussa…. hahaha… us kay gussay nay kaam kharab ker diya….

VIVEK ko chabi mil gayii thi…. Magar TIME UP ho gaya tha… acha khilari hay….

Aur tum dono….. haan chalo… dekho… tum dono nay sirf apnay mind ko calm rakkha…. Aur CHABI dhoond li….

ABHIJEET was stunned to watch DAYA's experience…. Now he knew why DAYA was not good in state of mind and health…. DAYA just forwarded that phase…. After that…

SOUND: bus main nay aik change kiya apnay GAME mein…. Main nay socha agar tum dono kay ilawa baaqi khilari usii chamber kay ander reh gayey aur mar gayey tou main apnay GAME ka NEXT LEVEL kis per test karunga… hahahahhaha…… chalo…. Phir milein gay…. Kahein bhi… kabhi bhi…

GAME OVER

LEVEL 1: Finished

Prepare for the NEXT LEVEL OFFICER'S…..

The SLIDE and GAME OVER sound hammering on the mind of DUO's…. they saw each other and try to inhale or exhale the air in normal ways…..

Created

Last reply

Replies

36

Views

6.8k

Users

17

Likes

29

Frequent Posters

visrom thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Stunner Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 14 years ago
#2
OMG!!!! What on earth was that!!!!
It was a total thriller...edge-of-the-seat tension.
I'll not mention any more details here....let the others read it and experience the tension.
Do give us more thrillers like this.
Edited by visrom - 14 years ago
cid_duo thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#3
OMG.....m speechless.....u too have mastrmind 👍🏼
full of suspence nd horrible situation 😲

m never listen before dis kind of game........u truly deseve⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
⭐️
waiting for next level.......best of luck.........

gadhadada thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Achiever Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 14 years ago
#4
hey.....
VISROM DII n SHIVANI.....

wat a MEMORIABLE DAY.... for me..... my BIRTHDAY treat that VISROM DII give her precious words...... i m speechless....... thank YOU DII......
really....
and SHIVANI yaar... i m not a MASTERMIND..... MASTERMIND is sumone else (in story😉) hahaha
me waitin for others FEEDBACK.....
i really want to CREATE that aura of TENSION.... n really relaxed after creating it......
ohhhhhh..... apni tou baat hee kuch aur hay..... wah wah😉😆
neeme thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Stunner Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 14 years ago
#5

WOW! full of suspense, horrible.😲....What to say.... i was in tension while reading..i think thats was ur main intentions that we guys feel that tension which officers was feeling in the story...So u achieved it...Great Work gadhadada.😃.. u really deserve 👏👏👏👏..Very different idea...Thanks for the good Story...i am really waiting for ur Next level or any other story...i hope it will come soon.......😉

Edited by neeme - 14 years ago
LadyMeringue thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail Networker 2 Thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#6
OMG!!!! This was a super thriler!!!! The best story you've written till date!!!!! Keep up the great job dear!!!!! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
shreela thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail Networker 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#7
UFFF!!! I don't have words to express my feelings! what a story yaar!!⭐️👏👏👏 now waiting for the next level. plz post it ASAP. good luck.👍🏼
gadhadada thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Achiever Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 14 years ago
#8
ohhhhhhh......

THANX yaar.... kay TUM logun ko STORY itni achi lagi.....
i have NO WORDS.... HOW to xpress my pleasent shock n happiness....
bus thora sa wait.... SHREELA......
i'll post the NEXT LEVEL soon....
pehaly is ki tou KHUSHI mana lun.... WOOW!!!!!!!!!😍
589799 thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#9
Kya idea tha?? Awesome!!! I love the way you pointed out that Freddy needs to kaboo his wishes, Sachin his anger and I don't remember Kajal's. I actually, sachi muchi felt for Daya. I mean I could imagine how Daya would have been feeling and how he must have reacted. This is just too awesome..

Did you say its your birthday? Happy Birthday!!!!!!!🥳Ab mein aur kya kahun, I just LOVE,LOVE, LOVE it!!!!!!!!!
gadhadada thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Achiever Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 14 years ago
#10
bundlez n tons of THANX, ymanjushree..... really loads of thanx..... ya i felt that pain, anger, tension wen i wrote that phase of DAYA Sir......
even if reader read it at NIGHT.... the aura was created in another way as well.....
ya today is my birthday.... n i m in CLOUD 9 to have all UR feedback.... specially VISROM DII......

thanx again to all of U..... n ymanjushree thank U for UR birthday wish.....
i m obliged😳

Related Topics

Top

Stay Connected with IndiaForums!

Be the first to know about the latest news, updates, and exclusive content.

Add to Home Screen!

Install this web app on your iPhone for the best experience. It's easy, just tap and then "Add to Home Screen".