pyari tasha hamari-pg 2

CAHAT320 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#1
hey friends! inspired from IF poetry writers and espacially jiya me too tryed to write a poem but it is not too good as it was my first attempt..... THE GOLDEN DAYS Kya din thy vo jab c.i.d tha the best mistryes hoti thi mind blasting aur hum sab thy uske bade fan
jab c.i.d dekhkar mann nahi bharta tha
ha vahi thy c.i.d ke
the golden days
thi hamari favourite team
har case hota tha rocking
abhi-daya rahte thy sath
ha bhai tha hamara c.i.d rock
par ab to storyes hoti hai boring
team bhi hai bakbas
jo hamne kho diye
ha vahi thy c.i.d ke
the golden days
c.i.d bureau ban gaya hai love garden
sab kar rahe hai ek -dosre se flirting
salunke ne bhi chode ke forensic
apnali hai bakbas karne ki raah
ek din tha jab c.i.d banata tha world record
ha vahi thy c.i.d ke
the golden days
ab to sara fun gayab sa ho gaya hai
c.i.d ka charm aur suspense kho sa gaya hai
singh sir se hai hamari humble request
plz hame bapas kar do vo din
jo thy c.i.d ke the golden days
ha c.i.d ke golden days
so friends how was it......😕😕😕
Edited by CAHAT320 - 15 years ago

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JP22 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#2
good attept...need some improvement....keep it up..
sneh. thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#3
as per the first attempt ya poem is good i suggest you to keep reading and keeping writing for more poems you will definitely improve buddy. believe me but please do keep on writing. Though some rhymes were here and there I could see ya heart feeling in the poem keep it up and keep writing many more I am sure you would definitely improve
sunnyp1414 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#4
Nice one. As its you first attempt, just rhyme problem but you will improve if you keep writing. So don't stop keep writing👍🏼
Shagnika thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#5
hey dear, nice attempt.... i am glad you posted it finally! need to work on rhyming a bit... otherwise direct dil se 👏

jiya di, aapke wajah se we are getting more and more people coming up with their talents! 😃
bhinder.thind thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#6
It is a really a Superb Work.. Everything is just so great ..Just WOW... You have found a logical way to write a poem.. you found 2 sentences about Golden Days and relate all your work around that.. Some words been used were put of world.. Just keep on writing and give us Precious work from your CID Love filled Heart..God Bless You
jeet. thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#7
good start to ur creationz career!!
CAHAT320 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#8
thank you all so mutch for liking my poem..... and i will definetly improve my ryming......
CAHAT320 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#9
here comes my next poem dedicated to my second favourite femail officer tasha
PYARI TASHA HAMARI
sab kuch tha c.i.d ke paas
bas ek thi uski hi aash
ki din c.i.d officer aise aye
jo hamare dilo ko bha jaye
phir ek din dhera se aayi
pyari tasha hamari
josh tha usme har mujrim se ladne ka
hausla tha usme insaf ka sath dena ka
jisne bana liya hamare dilo me asthan
ha vahi hai pyari tasha hamari
hausle uske boland hai
dil me kuch kar gujarne ke jajbat
jo de sabke sukh dukh me saath
ha vahi hai pyari tasha hamari
koi nahi le sakta uski jagah c.i.d bureau me
vo to hai c.i.d ke dil-o-jaan
jise hum kabhi na bhool payege
ha vahi hai pyari tasha hamari
ha tasha hamari
Bhavanab thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#10
hey Cahat !! Sorry for replying so late was busy these days anyways good work indeed !!! both your creations are indeed very nice,this is just your beginning and I'm sure you'll do much better any help feel free to ask us !!! hoping to read many more poems and other creations of yours 👍🏼
Welcome to the CID poets group !!!

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