Story - CID on Vacation

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sneh.

@sneh.

Voyager

Posted: 15 years ago

#31

Great Promo and splendid case Kash Fireworks wale tumse kuch seekh le visrom

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Priya_aks

@priya_sparsha

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 15 years ago

#32

its very really nice visrom. This reminds me of "case of invisible killer" which came around nov/oct 2008 😊Eitherway, it was thrilling. However, I felt bad for forensic ladies for staying back and work while CID men with Tasha went for vacation. I felt strange with Vivek leaving Tasha alone for bike riding. His character is more helpful nature and if it were to be real, I dont like he wont have left Tasha that easily. Your story was easy to understand and I didnt find any mistakes though. Nevertheless, I liked ACP's new avatar when leaving for camp 😆

Edited by priya_sparsha - 15 years ago

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SAGNIKA

@Shagnika

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 15 years ago

#33

Hey visrom! This one was a really well written story with twists here and there! Very very good work! Got back the Qualis scenes.. We saw the real Freddy! loved the way you kept away the unwanted characters away yet kept them in the show! It was lovely to see daya scolding sachin! 😆 suspense alive throughout! Really lived up to promo expectations unlike Fireworks! Really enjoyed reading it! 👏

[ u were right! It is a salil singh type story.... The old salil singh who wrote interesring n diff stories! 😉 😆 😆]

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Priya_aks

@priya_sparsha

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 15 years ago

#34

And Vishwesh's character is bit more complex and maybe you could have elaborated a bit. If I were CID officer and he came at the very end, I dont think I would have trusted Vishwesh that easily. Its Vishwesh's responsibility to report it to CID team about his danger. I know you wanted us to think vishwesh to be in one of the suspects but I think somethings can be fixed. Its just my opinion though.Your story was much different than "khooni" styles😆

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visrom

@visrom

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 15 years ago

#35

Originally posted by: priya_sparsha
And Vishwesh's character is bit more complex and maybe you could have elaborated a bit. If I were CID officer and he came at the very end, I dont think I would have trusted Vishwesh that easily. Its Vishwesh's responsibility to report it to CID team about his danger. I know you wanted us to think vishwesh to be in one of the suspects but I think somethings can be fixed. Its just my opinion though.Your story was much different than "khooni" styles😆

If I elaborate it becomes too long...as it is it was more than 12 pages on word. 😆

See...this guy was hiding from his past. Found himself a decent job and started his life afresh. He didn't want to get involved with the police and didn't want people around him knowing about his past. That's all.

Originally posted by: priya_sparsha
However, I felt bad for forensic ladies for staying back and work while CID men with Tasha went for vacation. I felt strange with Vivek leaving Tasha alone for bike riding. His character is more helpful nature and if it were to be real, I dont like he wont have left Tasha that easily. Your story was easy to understand and I didnt find any mistakes though. Nevertheless, I liked ACP's new avatar when leaving for camp 😆

I am enjoying this...😊 I really want someone to dissect my story like this.

Distribution of work load becomes difficult with a crowd, you know...that's why I left them behind.

And Vivek leaving Tasha....

Obviously, Vivek couldn't accompany her as his cycle tyre was flat.

And I'll tell you a secret....if I were going cycling with a male colleague and his cycle broke down, and he insisted that I also return, (because I am a girl he didn't want me to go out alone), I would not agree. 😆 I would just tell him that I am capable of looking after myself...and here, Tasha is a cop.

Edited by visrom - 15 years ago

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sunny

@sunnyp1414

Dazzler

Posted: 15 years ago

#36

will review when read it.

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Jeet Banerjee

@jeet.

Inactive

Posted: 15 years ago

#37

wow! visrom di...loved d story!! awsum!!

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sunny

@sunnyp1414

Dazzler

Posted: 15 years ago

#38

Just read it. It was awesome. loved the moments between team and about story their was a twist which I liked a lot. It was different very refreshing. and Freddy was so sweet. just loved few dialogues relating him

If they can't take stories want them to take atleast few scenes from this story.

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Bhinder

@bhinder.thind

Dazzler

Posted: 15 years ago

#39

Ok Just read the Story.. It was well Justice with Promo been given 😆 Most Importantly Plot set was very strongly built up!!! Everything got revolving Plot... No unnecessary lala..Loved that Part... Twist was good and End was bit Expected But beauty of some scenes stole the show... Culprit was bit expected the way he went out of Hospital... Overall It was Superb.. Technically good..felt some Emotions there ... Moreover Sachin and Kajol totally sidelined Loved this 😆 But do you really think they can take of Mumbai by self?? 😕 Mumbai is in danger ... Stars of CID are for Picnic 😆
Well about Story, Keep it up!!! kudos to writer to think this way and well presentation of story Loved the thinking behind 11Years Photo Scene ..Keep it up!!! 👏 👏 👏

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zerry123

@zerry123

Voyager

Posted: 15 years ago

#40

Awesome plot Visrom...but, I think the best thing about your stories is you crystal clear description and narration. It is so easy to understand. And the suspense gets built up effortlessly.

But, the climax scene got over too fast yaar. 😛 Wish it had gone on a bit longer...but, that apart, awesome story! Waiting for your next story's promo 😉 😆

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Edit:

Oh and one scene that really built up the suspense was Abhijit hearing those voices....loved it. And I'm really glad the story didn't turn into another "Target: CID" and went on an unexpected path instead 😊 But, really, wish they'd really show our team holidaying already...

Edited by zerry123 - 15 years ago