why can't a husband support his wife

misti73 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#1
I know that in my review post I mentioned ammas dialogue as the best one today.........but it is not my favourite one. Today best dialogue for me goes to a sentence said by Dev to Mahanta...........why should a wife always support her husband? Why can't a husband support his wife? 👏👏👏 Brilliantly spoken by Avinash and round of applause from me to who ever wrote this dialgue. 👏👏
I see Radhika as a abuse survivor who has been used by other people. Inspite of all the harsh treatment and negligence she has never lost her soul and her goodness. Her faith in Kanha has let her survive. She has emmense resilience which perhaps also helped her survive. Then one fine day in walks this guy who initially is besotted by her and is intrigued by her simplicity and her heart. Slowly he starts to realise that whom he had thought as a simple person is actually very complex and there are loads of layers to her character. Although being rebuffed, he still patiently starts peeling the layers one at a time. In the meantime witnesses the extent of abuse this girl has gone through and slowly starts getting a picture of what Radika is all about. The path has not been straight one............nor has it been a smooth sailing one.......but he has remained steadfast in his determination to be by the side of this girl who has nothing in her life. Slowly he brought her out of her shell and showed her that life should be lived to the full. Although other people left her side, he never left her. Even knowing that she has done wrong, he still stood by her and gave her the strength to face the truth and to accept it.
In society the wife is usually expected to sacrifice for her husband. If it happens the other way then the husband is usually known as a hen pecked or who is under the control of his wife. But when the wife sacrifices then she becomes the epitome of womanhood and is labelled a "good wife". The husband is rarely labelled as "good husband". So for me it is refreshing to see one husband who is proudly claiming that (1) yes he helps his wife (2) whats wrong in supporting your wife, like a wife supports a husband.
Your thoughts please.

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littlekitty thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#2
I agree with you...when a man marries to a women it is their responsibilities to take care of each other and help each other
Tazzi thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#3
Thanks for the good post. I agree with you 100%. Why can't the husband support his wife in society? Good relationship is always about checks and balances. Dev supports Rads when she is weak and Rads supports Dev when he is the weakest.
Angie12 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#4
Misti,
You just outlined the reason why so many viewers are so attracted to this show. Initially, it was not Dev for me and it was Radhika who attracted me to the show. But, Dev's character has been so refreshing and unique in soap history because usually it is always the wife who is shown to sacrifice and do compromises. Here, Dev has done that from the beginning. He always stood up for Radhika's rights (phool bangala, temple etc.) even when he didn't know he was married to her. Many times, chachoo has taunted him in front of everyone that he is henpecked or something like that, but he has never paid attention. Even his own mother has accused him of changing after the marriage and listening to Radhika, but his character is shown to be so strong that he can publicly support Radhika against everyone including his family and not feel weak. Also, he has stated publicly several times that his relationship with Radhika is based on equality. Besides Dev, Dadi and Shastriji love Radhika too. But, their love is too based on Radhika being perfect as their world is made of black and white. But, for Dev he is ok to deal with this complex Radhika who may not make the best decisions all the time.
That's why it was so upsetting for me when they showed him agreeing to Vishaka's condition even if he couldn't go through it towards the end. It was so inconsistent with his character. Thankfully, they brought him back to his old character. I totally loved him today and the last part was very nice not because of romance only, but because there was tenderness in that scene that very few love scenes usually depict. Also, credit goes to Avinash for being able to portray it so well. This is his real forte as well as when he gets righteously angry.
I can enjoy the show now because again they are showing that beautiful relationship. Also, even though we may blast them, but they did show some evolution of Radhika from being meek to somewhat strong who takes Dev's support publicly. The way they showed him caressing her in front of everyone and she accepting that support was done beautifully.
PutijaChalhov thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#5
yes the supportive role ofDev( Avinash acting so well) and he has always supported Radhika through think and thin thats the charm of this serial and why I see it despite being busy.
gardes thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#6
Mishti, Dev's character is developed to counterbalance Radhika's character. Whoever wrote up the 2 characters initially, had the right idea. The current writers have diluted and polluted the characters, mostly Dev's and to some extent Radhika's too.
Radhika is shown to be verbally and physically abused by Amma, manipulated for her ultimate goals for Vishakha's happiness by Devki, treated like a servant girl by Vishakha and lastly put on a pedestal by Shashtriji. In the process Radhika is shown to not know the kind of love that we all take for granted from parents, siblings, extended family and friends. Her character is shown to be based on abuse only. She shrivels and withdraws when anyone raises their voice. She has compensated for the negativity in her life with duty and subservience to others. Radhika is too mature for her age.
In contrast Dev is shown to be generally equanimous (even tempered), always gentle, steady, loveable and loving towards his family. He is so in love with Radhika, a love to a degree unknown to most humans. Dev lacks the kind of maturity Radhika possesses.
When they come together they balance each other out. Dev treats Radhika like he would treat anyone else in the family, but Radhika is now his wife and he is just besotted by love and all his actions are dictated by that love. Additionally, Dev has seen the lack of love and the terrible abuse Radhika has suffered; hence he has a strong need to protect her. Protection and support are synonymous where Dev is concerned!
Dev has recognized early on that Radhika is a good soul and will do things for others before she will do for herself. Hence he goes out of his way to do things for her that she would never think of doing for herself and comes across very supportive of her.
You don't see such expressive and demonstrative devotion in our culture as you tend to see in the Western culture. It makes Dev stand apart. Realistically he is too ideal for any culture and he sure raises the bar for the young and single women watching this show.
Just my thoughts.......
JustShanta thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#7

Hi Gardes wish i could articulate myself like you i so totally agree withall you'veposted .what insight glad you're still here👍🏼👍🏼 👍🏼

rajsri thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#8
Misti ... Awesome post ... you tempt me to write a loooong post but I will try and keep it as short as I can

The character of Dev and his love for and relationship with Rads is the reason I remain addicted to this show. Barring the ONS track where they got too close to the grey line for my comfort, I think they have stayed true to Dev's characterization to a great degree

Earlier I used to think that Dev put Rads on a pedestal. Now, I believe that he loves her to a degree where he only sees the good in her. He recognizes that there are layers to her complex personality but attributes it to her upbringing. He basically recognizes that she is a good soul who means very well. Above it all, he absolutely wants to protect and cherish her ... looks at himself as her knight in shining armor. He truly loves her unconditionally and assumes that she loves him the same way, no questions asked

I think while a guy like Dev is generally thought of as being hen-pecked or wimpy in India, it truly requires someone with tremendous self confidence and a very high sense of self worth to be the way he is. He is not afraid to declare to the whole world that he loves his wife and will stand by her even if everyone else feels that he has been wronged. As Gardes pointed out, I think it sets the bar very high for the kind of qualities in a man that a young woman should be looking for

While CB does show a lot of absurdity, the character of Dev has brought me back and made me stick to the show. Even the fire track, while badly executed, showed him maturing and growing up and taking responsibility for and supporting Rads through her toughest time

Btw, I think Avinash does an excellent job of portraying Dev ... making him appear strong but sensitive, tough and sweet at the same time. I loved his dialogue delivery today in the first part ... firm, determined to persuade stupid old Mahant and raising his voice just enough so he could win the support of everyone else around

I could go on and on ... but I'll stop 😊


abhilasha_dream thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#9
misti, gardes and why3 u ppl have mentioned everything. I have nothing else to add in that category.
But one observation which I have done is that the CV's have shown Radhika opening up to Dev and taking his support completely now. In fact now she has also started opening up to the other members of the PF. Earlier she never-ever opened her mouth but now slowly-slowly due to the love and support of theirs she is blossoming.
Am sure, now Amma and Visakha will not be able to manipulate her as they were able to do it earlier. She will answer them back more.
misti73 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#10

Originally posted by: littlekitty

I agree with you...when a man marries to a women it is their responsibilities to take care of each other and help each other

Thank you littlekitty. Not only responsibilty, but also to love and understand each other for the relationship to survive.

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