HILARIOUS IF NOT FOR...

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Aurin

@AdorableDevil

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

#11

Originally posted by: kbtr

You have seen that? In real life?? People bowing down to other people?
Because they want to, or because it is demanded and they have no say in it?

yes i have seen it, at my friend's wedding, to her in laws, my friend's mom told her to do dat, she didn't lyk it but did it

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vittoriA Giardano

@kbtr

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#12

Originally posted by: CrazyAmie

yes i have seen it, at my friend's wedding, to her in laws, my friend's mom told her to do dat, she didn't lyk it but did it

This is exactly what I am talking about!! Forcing people do things they don't want to. It's the zenith of disrespect. Taking away one's will to do what they want is stripping them off their dignity!

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Sunara

@princessunara

Trailblazer

+ 8

Posted: 12 years ago

#13

feet touching is part of my own culture too. and i have no qualms of doing that to an elder person.
in fact i do that for my parents before i sleep at night and before i leave home in the morning..

but there is no compulsion to do this. And we r as untraditional as the sarabhais but still this touching feet thing is something so inbred that unlike someone outside watching in, it is not something bad.

https://www.airforce.lk/uploads/news/avurudu_ulela_2012/cby/1.jpg

See this snap. Youngsters do that for their elders. Asian traditions of respecting elders r different from the west vastly.
And unlike Indians we actually go down on our knees too. And it truly does not make us feel less than any1 or as an insult dear :)

Even the president of our country goes down on his knees and take blessings from his elder siblings and its such a normal thing :)

ps: 1 difference though, in my culture the wife NEVER touches the husband's feet. He most of the time is older, but this almost never ever happens.. they r equals in every sense and no feet touching ever is expected. In fact it would be considered very weird if its done..

Edited by princessunara - 12 years ago

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BillyJean.

@BillyJean.

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

#14

Originally posted by: kbtr

Arre baba! I'm not talking about showing respect to the elders. And I do understand that different cultures have different ways of showing respect and reverence to elders.
I'm talking about the elders showing disrespect to the younger ones! The way Dadaji is behaving is like he is God. Well, not. Because even God gave mankind a will and expects mankind to make use of the intelligence given by God...
It's the way the rules are set up in the name of tradition. For example:
Bigotry - My way or the highway! Nobody is allowed to have any opinions because I say so. And anyway, my opinion is the only one that matters. So don't even bother to have one.
Disrespect - You must respect me. I am older so I don't need to respect you. My dignity is more important than yours. In fact, your dignity is non-existent where I am concerned.
Discrimination - Bahus must bow down. Girls of the family don't need to. (Why?? Bahus are not "family?")

Totally 100% agree on all points.

Touching feet is a sign of respect which is good. Even when I was married, we touched feet of all elders to take their blessings and good wishes.

Having said that it will be utterly wrong for the elders to turn around and abuse that. Having different rules for daughters & DILs is a shame. Actually if you notice, Manav is given lot more liberty than his other bros. there seems to be favoritism at different levels in this weird family.😕 Actually small variatios of these behaviors exist in every family, but is more evident in a big joint family like the BS.

But reasonable people like us & CC break away from these rules enforced in the name of tradition.

As I said, coming from a family like the Sarabais I can't relate. My grandpa & grandma were way ahead of their times & never followed rules for the sake of tradition.So you cannot generalize. TV shows do adopt these situations & characterizations for entertainment purposes, but let's take it with a pinch of salt😊

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vittoriA Giardano

@kbtr

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#15

Originally posted by: princessunara
feet touching is part of my own culture too. and i have no qualms of doing that to an elder person.
in fact i do that for my parents before i sleep at night and before i leave home in the morning..

but there is no compulsion to do this. And we r as untraditional as the sarabhais but still this touching feet thing is something so inbred that unlike someone outside watching in, it is not something bad.

See this snap. Youngsters do that for their elders. Asian traditions of respecting elders r different from the west vastly.
And unlike Indians we actually go down on our knees too. And it truly does not make us feel less than any1 or as an insult dear :)

Even the president of our country goes down on his knees and take blessings from his elder siblings and its such a normal thing :)

If elders demand respect from youngsters, than they should also respect the youngsters. Not by bowing down to youngsters, but by nurturing their dignity and treating them as persons in their own right. Who have their own opinions and rights. The way Dadaji is behaving is not respectful to the others. (As is UM and FIL and then the men in the house. Yes, there does seem to be a hierarchy. The inhabitants in that household are not equal. And that is my crib. Why? What makes it OK fro Dadaji to demand respect, but for bahus to not have their dignity? We know so far, that the bahus are repressed, and don't like it one bit. Why should one person's needs be greater than anyone else's? All I am saying is respect needs to be a 2 way street. Not that the youngsters should not respect the elders. And as I said before, respect in different cultures is practiced in different ways. And that is fine. That is not my issue. My issue is - equality for all.

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vittoriA Giardano

@kbtr

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#16

Originally posted by: SanayaIsBest
Totally 100% agree on all points.
Touching feet is a sign of respect which is good. Even when I was married, we touched feet of all elders to take their blessings and good wishes.

Having said that it will be utterly wrong for the elders to turn around and abuse that. Having different rules for daughters & DILs is a shame. Actually if you notice, Manav is given lot more liberty than his other bros. there seems to be favoritism at different levels in this weird family.😕 Actually small variatios of these behaviors exist in every family, but is more evident in a big joint family like the BS.
But reasonable people like us & CC break away from these rules enforced in the name of tradition.

As I said, coming from a family like the Sarabais I can't relate. My grandpa & grandma were way ahead of their times & never followed rules for the sake of tradition.So you cannot generalize. TV shows do adopt these situations & characterizations for entertainment purposes, but let's take it with a pinch of salt😊

Yeah, well said! It's a bit unnatural to have a family like the B's. This is a household, where one cannot talk when they want to, one cannot eat with their husband (and the hubbies are Ok with this???!!!😕) one cannot wear what they want to, one cannot in fact live the way they want to!

And really, all I am saying is that everyone should be treated equally.

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Sunara

@princessunara

Trailblazer

+ 8

Posted: 12 years ago

#17

Originally posted by: kbtr

If elders demand respect from youngsters, than they should also respect the youngsters. Not by bowing down to youngsters, but by nurturing their dignity and treating them as persons in their own right. Who have their own opinions and rights. The way Dadaji is behaving is not respectful to the others. (As is UM and FIL and then the men in the house. Yes, there does seem to be a hierarchy. The inhabitants in that household are not equal. And that is my crib. Why? What makes it OK fro Dadaji to demand respect, but for bahus to not have their dignity? We know so far, that the bahus are repressed, and don't like it one bit. Why should one person's needs be greater than anyone else's? All I am saying is respect needs to be a 2 way street. Not that the youngsters should not respect the elders. And as I said before, respect in different cultures is practiced in different ways. And that is fine. That is not my issue. My issue is - equality for all.

see i agree. BUT dadaji did NOT demand respect, he gets it.
he is NOT disrespecting the bahus, but UB is. cz the truth is he is some 80 or so year old man. he saw his wife covering the head and thinks that all women do it. BUT when he was explained CC had an accident also and was given permission, he DID not demand (which is what disrespect would have been) that she revert back to saris n cover her head.
sigh.. i wish i knew how to explain this.. but actually there is a thing where we bow down before elders its not only about respecting them but getting blessings from them. Our culture/religions have made it so that getting blessings from ur parents or any other elders is one of the most precious things one can get.
I will give u one example, for cooking for the family for the 1st tiem CC was about to get a gift, most likely gold or diamonds. But she says to bless her instead and bends down.
this is what i am talking about. Elders do not always ask for it, but youngsters simply give it..it has been taught to us from the cradle so to speak..

And hehe standing at attention was not needed, that i agree.. they showed it a little overboard in the show to make things spice up.. but its usually very casual..
when we worship usually it ends with a kiss on the forehead. And if loads of external family is there this standing in order is done to stop confusion and to get things moving quickly during functions..trust me u get entangled with everyone trying to cross paths..
what u see here is a very filmy depiction of the truth..😆

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Farah

@LuvArnavKhushi

Voyager

+ 5

Posted: 12 years ago

#18

As far as I have seen Bollywood movies and Indian shows and such, feet touching is just a form os respect which I find alright since in other parts of the world, people kiss the elderly's hands (that is a part of my culture). but yeah the only thing I found odd was the bowing.

lol someone brought up Paro touching Dev's feet but I found that fit the era and style of the setting of the movie just perfectly. And not to mention it was two gorgeous people so they pulled it off quite well. 😉 lol

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showviewer

@showviewer

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

#19

I understand your point of give and take respect and that is where the clash of ideologies is...this is the overarching theme of the show. What you are talking about is what Chhanchhan will lead this family to with her fair share of challenges and opposition through her journey.

In many conservative Indian households respect is given and demanded for age more than actions. Right or wrong is a different issue...that is the way it is. Another thing is that Indian society is largely patriarchal and most of our social and cultural norms are drawn from that. Most who grow in this milieu don't question this because for them that is normal and the way they have seen life. Many women themselves consider men better/ superior to women.

If these things were not believed or prevalent than we would not have male child preference or girl child infanticide and featicide, the male to woman ratio is skewed in many parts of the country and it is not restricted to rural areas, these things happen in educated families in big cities too.

Now, male preference does not always translate into killing of girl child but one can see various versions of it in terms of whose education and career is given importance, whose nutrition needs are better taken care of in a family etc. These are some basic examples, patriarchal ideology seeps into many big and small things we do in our day to day life and a large section of society do not question it because it is very normalized and part of socialization.

What you are saying, equality for all and dignity for women are all valid points and should be there ideally, but the ground reality is different. Things are changing, but it is slow and progress in uneven.

Here Chhanchhan is trying to get to that but first she needs to understand and secure her position in Borisagar household and then she will slowly change things. Change will happen only with realization of other family members that things need altering, that will take time as years of conditioning does not change quickly. Even the women themselves (here the bahus) need to be aware of their rights.

What they are depicting in the show is a dramatized, a bit exaggerated version of many conservative joint family households across India. Sometimes it takes people like Chhanchhan to come, shake things up and ask questions.

Edited by showviewer - 12 years ago

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SanzforSush

@SanzforSush

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

#20

Was everyone bowing down before dadaji last night! N here I thought they were taking blessings from his swargwaasi patni! Coz he was kind of holding the ash pot in front of everyone!
Anyways, coming to d point touching elders feet is a part of our culture n I myself do it! But what was shown yesterday was a bit too much...I mean everyone standing in a line to take blessings...that was wierd!

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