SwaRon FF : Undead love ch:3(b) uptd pg 8 - Page 4

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ikki215 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#31

Originally posted by: swaron1107

Read all the parts. Really superb and entertaining. The concept is really refreshing and would love to read more of it. So please continue. Both parts have been Sharon's side of story that too incomplete but now would like to read Swayam's side of story. The third part has been very nicely written to generate curiosity in the readers to read more and I love it. Just can't wait now to know about their past.


thank you really appreciate it ! its more from Sharon's point of view story ! swayam 's will come later ! :)
ikki215 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#32

Originally posted by: swarontruelove

Hey! i m a bit of a silent member on D3 forum but but but i came across this FF and damn i m forced to comment! THIS WAS SUPERB!!!!!!!!!!!!!👏👏👏

First of all i so loved the concept. its different and innovative and hats off to u for thinking of something like that. really never heard of step siblings falling in love.
Then your title!!! its really good too and lets see how u r linking the title to the story.
The first chapter gave an awesome intro to Sharon's life and i loved how u described the minute details about it. i loved her concern for Rish and she being a model. the way u fitten kriyaansh into it was also good. you really penned it down well. and i really really really loved it.
The second part was even better i wud say. it gave the whole life sketch of sharon and all about her being fatherless to an orphan. the one where you described taani and sharon being stepsisters and how they slept together and how nandhini was sad knowing that its one of the first adjustments sharon has to make. too good. you totally did justice to that part and it seemed really realistic too. I liked how you described swaron's first meeting where sharon instinctively knew that he didnt like her nor did she. the one where she hears swayam saying all that to whoever it was about not wanting sharon or her mother in his life was a little harsh but then too nandhini was his step mom. how does one accept it so quickly. i liked the character description of swayam too in sharon's perspective nd in the general perspective. and another thing that i felt good was that swayam although not liking nadhini still never feel it. he is a nice person for sure but maybe cant accept it all tooo well of him sharing his dad with someone else. i was really really captured in the second part. it was too good.
BTW sharon likes shivam although doesnt love him which of course she wont? wow! lets see whats next.
And yeah you left it at that point where swayam came at sharon's doorste? coudnt u continue a little more? *sigh* but its ok. eagerly waiting for swaron convo nd to know what made sharon leave Aston of which i believe swayam plays the major role.
your writing style too is fab!!!! the way you describe the events the past happenings it all seems so real and its really captivating.
so lastly please pleas please update soon and do pm me when u update. will be eagerly waiting for the next part.😊
P.S. just had a doubt. how old is swayam from sharon ?


A personal bda wala thanak u for th comment ... i really loved and appreciated ur comment..thank u big wala !
SanskritiS thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#33
Awesome update
Chapters are becoming more and more interesting.
Sharon hated to see him in her home
Next time big update
swarontruelove thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#34

Awesome update!!!! I so loved it. it had a thrilling effect to it.

the way u expressed Sharon's feeling when she saw the devil himself on her doorstep. oh! it was too good!
The portrayal of Swayam was good. I don't know why but Swayam's behavior was really chilling to read. And Sharon too might have been feeling the same I guess. y we don't know yet.
and did u really had to stop there? it was getting so interesting.
but *sigh* its ok.
u really can build up suspense for yr readers which I guess is a good quality.
continue u r going great.
pls update soon nd thanks for the scrap.😊
Rockingbhardwaj thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#35
oh my God..
ds is superb yar..
full of suspence..
why is sharon afraid of swayam?
update soon..
sweetydiyafrien thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#36
i wonder what had happen that sharon cannot have a conversation with swayan properly...
and may be it had to some thing happen in their life before because of which sharon is
afraid of and tried to keep a distance... do continue soon and pm me
ikki215 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#37
Chapter -2 (b)

Sharon smiled, a little meaningless stretching of her lips. 'How odd you should say that. I was thinking much the same about you. Oh, not the looks, of course, but the hostility "and the eyes.They haven't altered at all. They're still cold.' As cold and as cruel as January, she silently added, meeting their greyness, noticing how their bleak light remained unsoftened by the heavy fringing of dark lashes.Swayam said, 'Cold?' and smiled. 'Is that what you really think? Surely not.'Her breathing quickened a little. 'You wouldn't like to hear what I really think. Now if you want this coffee, you'd better let me make it.'

He flung up his hands in mock give up scenario and moved away, and Sharon felt sighed with relief.When she carried the tray through to the living room, he had resumed his seat by the fire and was smoking a cigar. She felt a sudden nostalgia as the scent of the smoke reached her.Rishi had always smoked cigars and their faint aroma had hung round the house at Aston whenever he was there. She put the tray down.' What happened to the cigarettes?''I gave them up about eighteen months ago.' He gestured to the cigar. 'Do you object to this?'No, of course not.' She subdued an impulse to add it was the least objectionable thing about him, and poured the coffee instead. 'Why do you ask?'He gave a slight shrug. 'It doesn't fit in with the image here. A masculine intrusion into a purely feminine environment.' He paused. 'Or at least that's the assumption I'm making. Perhaps I'm wrong.' 'Perhaps you are,' she agreed.

He glanced around, brows lifted. 'You don't live alone?'I don't live alone.'Swayam was very still for a moment, then he moved abruptly, tapping ash from the tip of the cigar. 'Of course not. May one ask where he is?''No, I don't think so,' she said calmly. 'Perhaps now you'd like to tell me what you want from me.'Not a thing, sweetheart"now or ever.' His voice bit. 'Let's get that firmly established, shall we? I haven't come blundering in your house on my behalf but on Tanni's.'

Tanni's?' She was startled, her eyes flying to the creased letter. His gaze followed hers and his mouth tightened. 'It looks as if I've made a wasted journey.Nevertheless I'll say what I've come to say. Tanni's panicking because she hasn't heard from you.She's desperate for you to come home and help with the wedding. She wants to know why you haven't written or phoned.'Sharon said, 'I only got her letter today. I've been away" abroad. I only returned yesterday.'

'The contents don't seem to have impressed you very much.' Swayam was leaning back in the chair,watching her from beneath lowered lids.'You and I both know,' she said tautly, 'that there is no way I'm ever going back to Aston. You'll have to stall Tanni"find some explanation that will satisfy her.'I can't think of one,' he said. 'And even if I could, I doubt if it would satisfy Rish. He can't wait for you to come"back.'She noted ironically the small hesitation and wondered whether the word he'd stumbled over had been 'home'.'How is he?' She wasn't merely trying to change the angle of the subject under discussion. She really wanted to know. Letters were pretty unrevealing, and she had kept hers amusing and busy, providing excuse after excuse for not returning to Aston.'If you really wanted to know, you would have gone to see for yourself,' Swayam said harshly.'How the hell do you think he is"trapped in a wheelchair for the rest of his life! 'A wheelchair?' She gaped at him, her head reeling in disbelief. 'What do you mean?'He had a stroke,' Swayam said curtly.

'It's left him partly paralysed. He can walk a few yards with difficulty and use one hand.'Sharon shook her head. 'He said he hadn't been well, but he never even hinted...'Why should he? If you'd cared, you!d have gone to see.'That's your reasoning, not his.' She glared at him.Perhaps,' he said. 'He always was too soft with you"too ready to make excuses. He wouldn't write and ask you to come back because he's terrified of pity. He's a strong man who's suddenly found a physical weakness he can't command or overcome, and it's been a struggle for him. He has a nurse living in, but he doesn't ask for help or sympathy from anyone else. He's counting on Tanni's wedding to bring you back to Aston. I could have told him it was a false hope.'That's not true!' Her throat felt thick and tight. 'I"I love Rish.'

'So you've always protested. According to you, you asked for nothing better than to be a daughter to him and a sister to tanni. Well, now's your chance. Live up to your words.'It isn't as easy as you think.' She was arguing against herself now, not him, although he wasn't to know that. 'I have a career"commitments.'As you've already made clear.' His mouth twisted a little. 'Couldn't you convince him that you also have a commitment to Rish"a prior commitment? Unless, of course, you no longer see it that way. As for your so-called career,' he shrugged, 'I imagine it would survive a slight hiccup like Tanni's wedding.

'You can sneer all you want,' she said furiously, 'but it's my life. It isn't the sort of success you would recognise, but I'm happy. What did you expect me to do-be someone's receptionist?'When you can capitalise on your considerable assets? Hardly.' Swayam looked her over. 'You must have one of the best known faces and bodies in the country. How does the man in your life like having to share you with the fantasies of thousands of others? She shifted her head. 'He survives.' She'd deliberately led him to believe that there was such a man, so there was no point in screaming at him that her face and body belonged to herself alone,that in front of the cameras she played the role Rey had written for her, no more no less. I'm sure he does more than that.' His eyes seemed to linger on her mouth and where the sides of the dressing gown crossed. 'Even with your hair in rats' tails, you're quite something.'

Sharon felt herself shrink inwardly, but there must have been some physical movement as well,because he threw up a hand. 'Don't be alarmed. I said I wanted nothing from you, and I meant it.All I need is your co-operation for a few weeks.' He paused, then added cynically, 'And you won't be out of pocket over it. I'll make it worth your while.'

Edited by ikki215 - 11 years ago
swarontruelove thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#38
res
unres
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! me first!!!!!!!😊😊 dhinka chika dhinka chika dhinka chika dhinka chika dhin dhin dhin dhin dhindhin dhin!!!!!!!!!!🥳
wow!!!!! what an update!!! was worth the wait!!!!!!!!
it was superb duperb man!!!!!!
i cant actually put into words how much i liked it. but still will try coz i know you r not a mind reader.😆😆
starting from how sharon described swyamm! omg! i got total chills! i dont know y there is somethng creepy about Mr. swayam shekhawat. hostile!!!!!!!! maybe he is that.
then sharon reminiscing about Rish by the smell of the cigar swayam was smokig! aww!!! nd she knew that swayam smoked cigarettes! observant isnt she?😆😆
then Sharon indicating to Swayam that she was living in with someone. nd swyam's discomfort totally visible through that! jealousy cant say but surely uncomfortable he is!
And ok so swayam came for tanni's behalf! hmm... and Rish paralysed!!!!!!! tsk tsk tsk! nd swayam blaming sharon for not knowing when rish himself didnt tell her? not done Swayam!!!
loved how sharon cares about rish nd tanni so much.
and the best part
You must have one of the best known faces and bodies in the country. How does the man in your life like having to share you with the fantasies of thousands of others? 'He survives.' She'd deliberately led him to believe that there was such a man, so there was no point in screaming at him that her face and body belonged to herself alone,that in front of the cameras she played the role Rey had written for her, no more no less. I'm sure he does more than that.' His eyes seemed to linger on her mouth and where the sides of the dressing gown crossed. 'Even with your hair in rats' tails, you're quite something.'
well written man. aww swayam!!!!!!! feel so bad for you! dont worry she is yours only!😃 i saw a maybe softening swayam here. he is surely attracted to her if not love her. of course she is the best model!😃
but again swayam turned to his original self nd told sharon he will pay her t visit tanni's wedding. although he knows how much sharon loves her nd rish? very bad swayam.
K i thnk thats a long enough comment. hope u didnt fall asleep while reading it.😆
ab bol diya jo bolna tha baki toh tujhe pata hi hain.
that u r awesome nd yr writing style is superb so continue!! 😊😊
nd pls pls pls update ASAP!!!!!!!! I m so in love with this FF.
Love
Shreya


Edited by swarontruelove - 11 years ago
rosyrkohli thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#39
the chapter was really awesum
i loved the way swayam touched sharon's vulnerable issues
tis chapter also explored the emotional side of sharon
whn she heard about her step father's health
i cud see how smartly swayam ws tryin to convince sharon
all in all a very well formed pleasing read 😃
Edited by rosyrkohli - 11 years ago
zk456789 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#40
Awesome update
Eagerly waiting for next update
Thanks for the pm
Do update soon

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